“Do you know what he asked?” the boar taunted.
“What?” Hikaru asked, though he feared the answer.
“He asked her to choose between the two of you. Who do you think she chose?”
His head said Shin, it only made sense, but his heart thought differently. They loved one another, he was certain of that much. But the guardian had filled him with a fragment of doubt and that was what held his tongue.
“I’ll wait for your answer until morning. If you’re right, you both go free; if you are wrong, then you both belong to me.”
The room they were given was tiny with a single futon for them to share. They had slept side by side more times than she could count, but when they entered the room and the sliding doors were closed, the air felt charged. Shin stood with his back to her and his hand pulled at his new collar.
She went to his side and took his free hand in hers. He tensed; all his muscles corded in his back and arms like an animal poised to take flight. They stood like that for a moment, not speaking. This cannot be the last time I see him. I will not let it be. I will find a way to free him from Akio.
Shin dropped her hand suddenly and then stepped away. She could read the unease in every line of his body.
“Shin…?”
He did not answer.
“You know what question Akio is going to ask me, don’t you?”
He would not look at her. He was not acting like himself. In fact, he had been acting strangely since the witch cursed her. He said there was something he wanted to ask me when I could speak again.
“Answer me, Shin!” she shouted. After everything that had happened, she was on edge. Was he still mad from when she slapped him? She knew he could hold a grudge but never against her.
He flinched. He never flinched unless he felt guilty. What is there to feel guilty about?
“You love him?” His voice held no inflection; it was like he was reading rehearsed lines.
“I do.” She crossed her hands over her chest.
He ran his hands through his hair. “Then the question does not matter.”
She walked around to face him. She peered up into his eyes. “What possessed you to make a deal? What were you thinking?” She reached out to shake him, but he stepped back before she could touch him.
He looked up at her at last. His gaze pinned her in place. “We do things for those we love that we never imagined.”
She clutched at the silk of her kimono just above her heart. “Shin…”
“It was my own fault for not telling you sooner.”
She did not know what to say. So she asked, “How long have you been in love with me?”
He looked at her; his dark eyes pierced her through. “Always.”
She gasped. She felt as if her world had tilted sideways. “And the question?”
“Akio wants you to choose between Hikaru and me.”
She sank to her knees. Her legs could no longer support her weight. Shin hovered over her. His expression was guarded, closed off. She had never seen him that way before.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
He sighed. “I wanted to, but it never seemed like the right time. I thought I could be happy just being by your side. But then you had that affair with the Dragon…”
Her hands were shaking. “I never loved the Dragon. It never meant anything to either of us.”
He nodded. “I can see that now.”
“Oh, Shin.”
His face hid much of his emotion, but she could see his disappointment beneath the cracks in his facade. She wanted to reach out to him to comfort him. But it felt tainted now. She did not want her actions to be misinterpreted. Nothing has changed; it’s still Shin. They had always been one another’s rocks, but she never imagined she would be the one to cause him pain. Had I known, would things have been different? Could things be different?
“I’ll find a way to break you free of Akio. I promise,” she said.
He shook his head. “I am content to know you are happy. Live your life with the hu—Hikaru.” His mouth twisted wryly. “Bear his children. Forget about me.”
Tears pushed the back of her lids. He knelt down in front of her and wiped an errant tear from her eye. She tried to hold herself back, but she could not any longer. She grabbed his shirt front and held on tight. She buried her face into his chest.
“You’re an idiot,” she said.
He stroked her hair. “If I’m an idiot, what does that make you?”
She laughed despite herself. “I’m not going to give up. You know that, don’t you?”
“Stubborn to the end.”
“Always,” she replied as he pressed a kiss to her brow.
28
Hikaru paced the length of the chamber they had allotted him. He had not slept the night through, he was too busy thinking about Rin. He kept going back and forth on his answer. He wanted to believe she would choose him, but a lifetime of self-doubt left him questioning his worth. Could he really be worthy of her? He stopped pacing when the door at the far end of the room slid open. The half-deer woman stood just outside.
“My master will see you now,” she said.
He stared at her a moment before registering her words. From her feet to her neck she looked human, only her head was that of a deer. Her clothes were not dissimilar to what he would expect from a servant in his own house. Plain and easy to move in. She stared at him with large black eyes, blinking and waiting patiently for a response. He clamped his mouth shut, realizing too late he had been staring. He nodded to let her know he had heard. He could not force words out of his mouth. This is Rin’s world, he realized. The things that are strange to me are probably common fare for her. How could he bridge this gap between their two realities? Was she willing to leave her life behind? Was he willing to leave his life behind? But this was his world too. His mother’s world. No matter her answer, it was time he learned more about it.
He followed the servant through the twisting corridors of the palace. The doors popped up at random and some pathways seemed to end at blank walls. And when he turned around to look where he had been, the pathways changed, and where there had been rooms, now a garden appeared, with butterflies flitting among the jasmine bushes.
He hurried to keep up with the servant, fearing what would happen if he fell behind. The servant led him to a chamber, different than the one he had been to before. This one reminded him of the morning room back at the palace. It was a large open space that faced out onto a garden. The guardian sat behind a table that looked miniature in comparison to the guardian. He held a large bowl in his hooves and he used a pair of chopsticks to sloppily shovel rice into his mouth. A few stray white granules clung to the coarse hairs on his snout. When they entered the room, he did not stop or acknowledge their presence but continued making loud slurping noises. Hikaru fidgeted with the hem of his robe as he waited for the boar to finish his meal. The guardian finally set his bowl aside and smacked his mouth. Then he finally turned beady black eyes on Hikaru.
“Do you have an answer?” the guardian said.
Hikaru bowed, as he deemed appropriate. If he read this beast right, and he thought he was, he appreciated the respect. “My lord, before I answer, I would ask you a favor in return.”
Akio sputtered and laughed, shaking the ground beneath him. The vibrations reached all the way to Hikaru, but he did not break for a moment. He had done enough negotiating for his father and the clan to know when someone was trying to intimidate him. Hikaru was not one to back down so easily.
“Well, I underestimated you. I am hoping you answer incorrectly so I can better utilize you,” he said.
“But if I am correct, you will hold to our deal?” he asked.
The boar narrowed his eyes at Hikaru. “I never go back on my word.”
Hikaru shrugged. The guardian liked to play with words and manipulate to his own ends. But he was partially true, he had not gone against any of his promises, not in word anyway. “Then
I would add this to our deal, if I win, you will pardon Rin and allow us to live near your forest.”
The boar laughed again. “Why would you stay here? Your brother will be out for your head, and Rin will never find friends here.”
He was shocked it had been this easy. Perhaps the guardian was in a good mood, or perhaps he had his own motives for hearing him out.
“My brother doesn’t know it yet, but he’ll need my help. And I would like to rebuild the shrine at the edge of the forest and dedicate it to your worship,” Hikaru said.
The boar sat up straighter; now he was paying attention. “Do you now?”
“I have been turned out from my home, and seeing as the shrine is abandoned and the Kami vacated, I thought it an appropriate tribute. It is your domain.”
He tapped his hoof on the table, rattling the dishes, which clanked together like the tinkling of bells.
“It is a good trade. And in exchange I pardon Rin?”
“Yes.”
The boar stopped tapping. “Ah, there we have it. I suppose you think she chose you?”
“I do.”
“And what will you do when the witch comes back for her?”
The question caught him off guard. He knew Rin was under a spell, but there had never been much time to explain how the spell had been cast.
The boar leaned forward. “You didn’t know, did you? She was under a witch’s spell; that’s how she became human.”
“And where is this witch now?” Hikaru tightened his hands into fists. He did not have much power, but he would do whatever it took to protect Rin.
“Gone, if she has any sense. Her plan failed. I suppose she’s off licking her wounds.”
“You sound as if you know her.”
The boar sat back, and though he appeared relaxed, Hikaru could sense a tension in him. “Yes, I know her very well.”
“We will be careful.”
The boar snorted as if he did not believe it. “What makes you think she will choose to live with you?” he asked.
Hikaru opened his mouth to answer that he was certain she would want to spend her life with him, because she had to feel what he did. A sense of completion when they were together, it felt right. No matter how he tried to think about it, he could not imagine her choosing Shin. She had given up her life for him, why would she abandon him now?
“Well, you shall see, I suppose. If you are right, you have my leave to build your temple, and if she chose you, she will meet you at the bridge. If you’re not, Naoki will come fetch you back. And don’t think about running away, I will find you.”
Hikaru bowed again. “Thank you.”
The servant waited for him outside. She led him back through the palace at a sedate pace. Once more they meandered through the maze of passageways. Every moment they delayed, he felt that his heart might burst. What would he do if she was not there waiting for him? But he feared if he rushed, he might never find his way out again. He kept close to the servant, the closest he dared without touching the creature. When they reached the outer courtyard, he gave a sigh of relief. He could see the bridge beyond at the bottom of the steps.
The servant stood aside and he rushed out the gate and went to the bridge. She was not there. He spun in place, expecting her to appear. Even the servant had left. He was alone with the creaking of the bridge as the wind pushed it to and fro. The wind rustled through the trees and pricked the hairs on the back of his neck. He sensed someone watching him. He spun in place and found Naoki standing in the center of the bridge. His chest clenched as his stomach sank. She had not chosen him?
“She chose Shin?” Hikaru asked.
Naoki shook his head. “No, I came here on my own.”
Hikaru stared at him for a moment. Everything about him seemed ordinary but for the markings on his forehead and his strange-colored eyes.
“Why are you here?” Hikaru asked; the words just tumbled out.
Naoki did not answer right away. He looked over the canyon and the wind tangled in his hair. He wore it long and loose. He was a different man than the stern captain at the palace yet very similar. There was a wild energy that hung about him, like a caged animal.
“To warn you, the deal you’ve made with the guardian is a double-edged blade.”
“I gathered as much.” He scrutinized Naoki’s face, hoping his intentions would be written there. He was unreadable as always. “Why risk his wrath to warn me?” “
“It’s the honorable thing to do.”
“But you’re the guardian’s man.”
“Doing what we are told and doing what we know is right are two different things. He may hold me, but I am still my own.”
Hikaru chewed on this for a moment. He opened his mouth to ask another question, but Naoki had disappeared like a wisp of smoke. He had looked away for just a second and he was gone. Hikaru spun around, wondering where he had gone to, when he saw her standing at the top of the steps that led into the palace. He let go the breath he had been holding. Despite it all, for a moment he had still feared she would not choose him.
Her auburn hair hung in a curtain down her back. She wore a bright red robe with a pattern of white flowers. She smiled at him and it was the same mischievous grin he had come to love. She leaped down the steps and then ran the distance to him. She threw herself into his arms and they nearly toppled over to the ground. He laughed as he touched her face. She is real and she is mine. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. He ran his hands along her auburn hair, marveling at the color. This was the real Rin. She smiled down at him and then captured his lips in a kiss. The very essence took his breath away. There was power in her, a fire that burned, and he could feel a similar fire burning in his chest, calling out to hers. For the first time in his life he felt complete.
They broke apart.
“Say my name,” he whispered.
She stroked his cheek. “Hikaru.”
He grabbed her tighter, pulling her legs around his waist. “Now give me your answer, will you be my bride?”
“Yes,” she said and punctuated it with a kiss.
When he thought he would be dizzy from kissing, he set her down on her feet and they crossed the bridge together, hand in hand.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
He thought he would never get tired of hearing the sound of her voice.
“To start our lives.”
Once they were across the bridge, she looked over her shoulder. He squeezed her hand. He knew her thoughts were with Shin imprisoned in the guardian’s castle. He thought he should be jealous, but he could only pity the other man. He had given up everything so Rin could be happy. Hikaru owed his happiness to Shin.
“I promise we’ll find a way to free him,” he whispered in Rin’s ear.
She pecked him on the cheek. “I know we will.”
Epilogue
Winter had a firm grip upon the shrine. Banks of white snow clung to the sides of the buildings and weighed upon the rooftops. Bright patches of crimson peeked out beneath the white as Rin ran along the rooftop, melting snow with her fox fire. Hikaru, down on the ground, hurried to hang the last of the streamers. It was possible none of the local farmers would show up; it had only been a few months since they established the shrine. The cleanup had been tedious, and had it not been for Hikaru, Rin would have given up and run off into the woods for a romp on more than one occasion.
She melted the last of the snow on the roof, and rivers of clear water ran down the top, forming into long dangling icicles along the eaves. They sparkled in the sun, casting multicolored lights on the banks of snow below.
“Finished up there?” Hikaru called from on the ground.
Rin launched off the roof and sailed through the air towards Hikaru. He opened his arms to receive her as she fell into his arms once more in a human form. He spun her around.
“I rather like you in your fox form,” he said as he nibbled her neck.
She purred. “Do you now?”
<
br /> “You look very powerful.”
She laughed, tossing back her head. Life had been good. The shrine restoration was coming along, and Akio’s blessing had allowed them a measure of protection. Hikaru was not the only reason she decided to stay behind. Akio was up to something, and being close would help her find out what. In the wake of her affair with the Dragon and her being turned into a human, she could not return to the palace. Not that she wanted to. She was happy with Hikaru.
She had seen nothing of the witch. Though she still woke with panic at night, thinking she heard her whispering in her ear. As Rin’s laughter died away, she heard the tinkling of bells—someone had walked beneath the tori arch in the courtyard. Rin turned, ears tilted towards the sound. She lifted her nose in the air. It was a human—not the witch. She exhaled. Would the fear ever go away? she wondered.
Hikaru brushed his fingertips across her cheek. “We’re safe here. There’s no need to worry.”
She leaned her forehead against his, inhaling his scent and indulging in their private moment just a bit longer.
The footsteps drew closer, and from the sound of them, they had a crowd. Hikaru pulled away, although hesitantly, and went to greet the worshipers. She followed him around the corner of the building into the courtyard, which she had cleaned of snow earlier that morning. A small group hovered near the bright red tori arch. Their coats were well made and lined with fur, and she could see from a distance the jewelry and trappings that set them apart from mere farmers.
“Welcome,” Hikaru started to say, but he stopped in his tracks.
Rin peered around his shoulder. Her lips pulled back into a growl and she felt the fire in her gut churning. She considered transforming, not that these humans could see her if she did. “What are you doing here?” She tried to move around Hikaru, but he put up his hand to stop her. The humans could not see her if she did not reveal herself.
Kitsune: A Little Mermaid Retelling Page 23