by Dylan Peters
Kay’s arms fell away from me as I walked forward and bent down next to Anna, next to Jim and Wisket. I placed a hand on the fox’s back, and once I did he glowed more brightly than I had yet seen. I sent all of myself through him. I sent everything until I shivered with hurt. Tears fell from my eyes, and I roared from within. I roared with pain, with love, with everything and anything I had.
As I did, they all came to Wisket, one by one, and the energy grew one hand at a time. It enveloped all of us. I felt it all through Wisket and in the end… I felt her, too.
In the depth of myself, in the hollow that was deep and dark and buried, I felt her still there. Her heart beat, even still.
Anna was alive.
13
Jim found Anna’s pulse just a moment after I told everyone I sensed she was still alive. Kay picked up Ah’Rhea’s dagger, wiped it against the ground, and then returned it to the woman.
“This saved them. That makes two now,” Kay said.
“Two what?” Ah’Rhea asked absently.
“Two mynahs the dagger has killed,” Kay said. “This one, and one when you escaped the tower.”
“Yes, of course,” Ah’Rhea replied and nodded. “Two mynahs.” Ah’Rhea stood and walked close to where Anna lay on the ground. “You can carry her as we travel, can’t you?” she asked Jim.
“I’ll carry her,” I said without hesitation.
“It should be Jim,” Ah’Rhea said to me. “He is stronger than you are, which means we can travel faster for longer. If it is not obvious how important that is now, then I don’t know what to tell you. The girl is alive, but barely. We have no way of knowing when or if she will wake, or what state she might be in once she does. She won’t survive another mynah attack, so we must move quickly.”
Ah’Rhea was right, though it was hard to admit. I gritted my teeth in resignation and nodded.
“I’m not sure we should move her right now,” Jim said. “I just barely felt a pulse. I don’t know how fragile she is. I—”
“Are you a doctor?” Ah’Rhea asked.
“What?” Jim said meekly.
“Are you a doctor?” Ah’Rhea repeated and then continued without waiting for an answer. “No. You are not. You have no idea what is in that girl’s best interest. Now lift her up. We have to be moving.”
“But, Arthur—” Jim said.
“But Arthur what?” Ah’Rhea barked.
It was odd to hear Jim call me Arthur.
“Arthur sensed she was alive first,” Jim said. Then he turned to me like a scolded child, almost as if he was afraid Ah’Rhea might strike him as he knelt next to Anna. “Do you think it’s okay to move her?”
Ah’Rhea stared at me angrily. I looked at Kay and she looked to me the same way Jim did. They were asking me whom to follow. Whether I wanted it or not, I was in the middle of a power struggle. This was an important moment and I knew I could fracture our group with my answer. We had all endured this forest, and we were barely surviving it. It was taking its toll on us. We needed each other. I needed the group to stay together.
“I agree with Ah’Rhea,” I said. “Anna is still alive. I felt it, and you felt it too, Jim, but we don’t know how long she’ll hold on. Now more than ever, we need the Everflame. We need to keep moving as long as we have light.”
Jim and Kay nodded. Ah’Rhea relaxed and nodded at me, as well. Her scowl disappeared, and she took a more gentle tone.
“I’m just trying to keep us all alive,” she said.
Our situation was jarring. We were so far into the Nullwood, I wasn’t sure we could even get back out. Kay had been attacked and terrified. Jim had lost almost all of his bravado and confidence. Even Ah’Rhea was showing cracks.
I think we had all assumed her presence would bring us stability, experience, and wisdom, but it wasn’t really there. Not in the ways we had hoped for. Ah’Rhea was just as scared as we were. Her confidence was forced, even when it was present, and her stability faltered. Unfortunately, her experience was not applicable to this place, and her wisdom was not infallible. She had no more authority in this new world than any of us did. Her anger came from the realization of that fact. In a way, I think what had happened to Anna was more of a blow to Ah’Rhea’s resolve than to anyone else’s.
Jim scooped Anna up into his arms, and we resumed our march. Ah’Rhea walked ahead, alone, and we let her have her distance. I think she needed it. Jim, Kay and I walked shoulder to shoulder because we needed the company more. The mysticals hung back with us.
“What did you feel when you connected with Wisket?” Jim asked me. “How could you feel Anna was still alive before I could find a pulse?”
“I don’t know how to explain it,” I said. “It was like instinct, but the more I think about it, I wonder if I wasn’t just making myself believe I felt something. Maybe it was all in my head.”
“No,” Jim said. “It was more than that. You did something. I couldn’t feel a thing until you said she was still alive, and then all of a sudden the pulse was there. It was like she responded to you.”
I wanted to believe that so badly.
“I don’t think that’s possible, Jim,” I lied. “If anything, Wisket brought her back.”
I looked down at my side and saw Wisket walking next to me, keeping an eye on Anna. Reego was directly next to him, and I found it strange that the wild dog wasn’t walking up ahead with Ah’Rhea. I suppose the mysticals needed each other’s company also.
“Do you think she’ll wake up soon?” Kay asked Jim. She had taken it upon herself to be responsible for Anna’s wheelchair, pushing it along as if someone was still sitting in it.
“I don’t know,” Jim said and shook his head, “but she needs to. Ah’Rhea’s right about one thing: We’re not doctors. Even if she’s okay now, we don’t have the ability to care for someone in a coma. I guess we’re just praying for this Everflame thing, huh?”
We were. All of our hopes now hinged on the Everflame, and I swallowed hard as the gravity of that fact hit me. I was the only one who had seen the Everflame, and I had done so only in dreams or visions. Ah’Rhea believed in it, and it seemed so did Kesia, but for all they knew they searched for a myth. It scared me to think the Everflame might not be real. If we ended up as nothing more than a bunch of wayward souls searching for a fairy tale, what would that mean for me? Would my mother die? Would Anna? Would everyone leave me? Would they hate me? Would I ever have another friend as long as I lived?
“Why do you guys want to follow me?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” Jim asked. “We already settled this. Kay are I are in this with you and Anna for the long haul.”
“No,” I said. “I mean… you’re risking your lives because I’ve seen visions. I might be leading you to your death, and all for nothing. There’s no proof of the Everflame. I’m just… What if it turns out that I’m wrong? You’re gonna hate me.”
“We won’t,” Kay said. “Nobody’s perfect, and we know you’re doing the best you can. We’re your friends.”
“I haven’t always had friends like you two have,” I said. “I’ve spent most of my life being a target; being someone’s punching bag. If I fail, if we turn out to be searching for something that doesn’t exist and I just go back to being Creepy Kage… or worse… I’m afraid of losing everything.”
“Man,” Jim said under his breath and then sighed. He shook his head and frowned, but then he looked at me and his eyes were sad. “I’m sorry, Arthur.”
“Why are you sorry?” I asked.
“When I call you Creepy, I’m not picking on you,” Jim said. “I mean, in the beginning… yeah, I was, and that was wrong. But when I call you Creepy now, it’s different for me. It’s like a nickname now, you know. Like a nickname for a friend.”
“I get it,” I said. “It’s okay, Jim.”
“It’s not, though,” Jim said. “You can’t say it’s okay after you’ve just told us you’re afraid that we won’t like you anymore if somethi
ng goes wrong.”
Jim shook his head in frustration, and I was afraid he really was mad at me for what I’d said. In truth, Jim and Kay were important to me now, and I was insecure. I didn’t want to lose their friendship. I didn’t want Jim to be angry with me.
“I don’t want to be like my dad,” Jim said suddenly. “I don’t want people to look at me the way I used to look at him. I don’t want you or Anna to see me as that kind of guy…
“Because she was right. When Anna said my father taught me to be cruel. She was right. That’s why I got angry and walked off. Every time I see my father in myself, it pisses me off. I mean, I loved my dad… but I didn’t like him. That probably doesn’t even make sense.”
“What he means,” Kay said, trying to help Jim explain his feelings. “Is he’s sorry he calls you Creepy. We are your friends.”
“Yeah,” Jim said, “but it’s more than that. I just…”
It was obvious Jim was struggling to find the words to express himself. Yet I thought I understood where he was coming from.
“My mother was always a loner,” I said. “That’s part of why I’m a loner. I love my mom, but being a loner is hard. There’s been a lot of times I wished I hadn’t learned that from her.”
“Exactly,” Jim said and looked at me in a way I don’t think he ever had before. “Man, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. When I was a kid, my dad only interacted with me when he was making fun of me or telling me how I had messed something up. So when I got to school and started trying to make friends, that was how I did it. I just picked on guys, and either they picked on me back and we got along, or they became targets. I didn’t even realize I was doing it, or I didn’t realize why I was doing it. I definitely didn’t realize there was another way to interact with people, a better way. More than that, though, I didn’t take responsibility for hurting people. I was too preoccupied with making sure they weren’t hurting me.
“That all came from my dad. He pushed my mom away when I was young, and she left us. Then he started drinking and was in and out of different jobs. He was mean and surly as long as I can remember, and in the end, it made him miserable. By the time I was in high school my dad really just hated life and everybody in it. It wasn’t until this past year that I started realizing what he hated most in the world was himself.”
Jim laughed sarcastically. “You should have seen him when the Demise hit. Man, was he a sorry sight. He just sat in an old ratty recliner with a can of warm beer in his hand and bitched about how the government had finally done it, they finally brought war down on us, and then he started naming off the people he hoped would die. I tried to pull him out of his chair when the house caught fire, and wouldn’t you know, he couldn’t even let his son save his life.
“He told me to get away from him. He told me to leave like my mother did. He told me I had her eyes, and he always hated looking at me, because I reminded him of her.” Jim’s jaw tightened. “He said some other things… I don’t need to repeat them.”
Kay put an arm around Jim and leaned her head against his shoulder. Her warm touch snapped him out of his memory. He looked at her and smiled.
“I had better things to think about anyway,” Jim said and put an arm around Kay. “I guess the point of all this is that I don’t want to end up like my dad, and I don’t want to hurt people. I don’t want you to be afraid that we’re not real friends. I’m sorry, Arthur. I won’t call you Creepy anymore.”
“But you said it was a nickname for a friend, right?” I reminded him.
“Well, yeah, but,” Jim said.
“Then call me Creepy,” I said. “When you call me Arthur it sounds weird. It’s cold, and… I don’t know. I don’t like it. Creepy has grown on me.”
Jim smiled and nodded.
“Awww,” Kay said sarcastically. “You two are buddies.”
“Now you had to go and ruin a nice moment, didn’t you?” Jim said.
Kay laughed.
“We can all be somebody we don’t want to be from time to time,” she said. “I think the important thing is to acknowledge it happened, be sincere, and try to be better going forward. So many people get lazy with the way they treat others, as if it doesn’t really matter. It gets easy to dismiss other peoples’ feelings and to justify your own bad actions. It’s a harmful way to live. Especially if everyone does it.”
“Yeah,” I said, and for the first time thought Jim and Kay could be people who might understand me in a way I thought only Anna did.
“Hey,” Jim said. “I don’t wanna break up the love fest, but am I the only one who has noticed Reego hanging out with us instead of Ah’Rhea?”
“No,” I said. “I noticed it, too.”
“Yeah,” Kay said. “About that…” She paused and guiltily averted her eyes.
“Kay, c’mon,” Jim said, recognizing exactly what had been going on. “You’ve been feeding him out of your backpack as we’ve been traveling, haven’t you? He’s not the family dog, you know.”
“I know, I know, but I can’t help it,” she said. “He keeps looking at me with those eyes.”
Jim shook his head and looked at me. “She used to do that with her dogs so they would like her more than her brothers.” Then he looked back to Kay. “You know Reego is smarter than a regular dog, right?”
“Winning affection with food works on humans, too,” Kay said. “You should know.”
Jim was aghast. “Wait, are you telling me you won my affections with snack cakes?”
Kay shrugged innocently. “What? You think it was a coincidence that before we started dating I always carried around your favorite snack cakes?”
“Un-be-lievable,” Jim said with emphasis.
“I guess the proof is in the cream filling, huh?” I said, thinking myself particularly witty.
Jim turned to me with one eyebrow raised. “That was a horrible joke, Creepy. I mean that was just uncomfortably bad. Comedy isn’t your thing. You stick to visions.”
Kay laughed so hard she snorted, and then we all laughed, enjoying a rare moment of levity in the Nullwood. But our laughter was quickly broken up by the sound of two dry coughs.
“Anna,” Jim said.
We stopped and stared at Anna with anticipation.
“My back,” Anna said in a low raspy voice. “It hurts.”
Anna groaned and the color in Jim’s face drained.
“I-I don’t know what to do?” he said. “Should I set her down? Should I set you down, Anna?”
Anna coughed again, loudly, and then cried out in pain, tensing her body wildly as Jim held her in his arms. He looked to us in panic, afraid to do anything, yet also afraid to do nothing. We were all petrified.
“Set the girl on the ground,” Ah’Rhea’s voice came booming as she ran back to us from where she had been walking up ahead. “Gently!” Either she had heard the commotion behind her or Reego had made her aware of our dilemma.
Jim obeyed without delay, and slowly lowered Anna to the ground. Immediately, Wisket moved between us and Anna. He growled ferociously and prepared himself to attack. We all backed away. We had never seen Wisket react this way toward any of us, and it was very unsettling.
Ah’Rhea looked to Reego for help, and after a moment she furrowed her brow in confusion.
“What do you mean we need to leave?” Ah’Rhea asked the wild dog. “Why would we leave her?”
“Leave Anna?” I asked incredulously. “No.”
I took a step toward where Anna was lying on the ground and immediately Wisket leaped in front of me and nipped at my leg. I jumped back, shocked and indignant.
“Why are you doing this?” I asked the fox. “What is going on?”
But there were no answers forthcoming, at least none that we could understand.
Wisket turned from us and spat something upward at a tall black tree. The wet mass slapped against the underside of a thick branch that was parallel to the ground and then hung like goo. Next, Wisket enveloped Anna in an a
ura of golden light. It calmed her almost instantly, and soon she fell asleep. However, that was not all the aura was meant for. With the golden energy, Wisket lifted Anna off the ground and turned her over so that she was hanging upside-down. Then, her body rose until her feet stuck in the goo Wisket had spit on the branch. The goo slowly spread down over Anna’s body, and then the golden light disappeared. Jim cried out for Wisket to stop, but it was already too late. The goo covered Anna’s body, leaving her hanging from the gnarly tree in a strange cocoon. We were all left in complete shock.
“What have you done to her?” Jim asked Wisket, though the fox paid him no mind.
“She is safe,” Ah’Rhea said, looking at Reego while she was speaking as if she were attempting to translate his thoughts to us. “Reego insists the girl will come to no harm. She risked her life for the fox. She is bonded.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Jim yelled. He marched toward Wisket. “Let her go!” But the fox growled, gnashed his teeth, and Jim stopped dead in his tracks.
“Reego assures me the girl will be safe,” Ah’Rhea repeated. “He also says we should leave.”
“No,” I said with fire. “No. I am not leaving Anna. No way.” I looked resolutely at Wisket. “You can tear me apart, but I’m not going anywhere.” I could somehow feel the fox shrugging off my promise.
“Reego says we can stay,” Ah’Rhea said, “but we must wait, and we cannot interfere. He continues to tell me Anna is bonded.”
“We don’t know what that means,” I said to Ah’Rhea.
She seemed confused as well. “I’m not exactly sure what Reego means either. I had thought the girl was already bonded with Wisket. I don’t understand what has changed or what is happening. I’m not sure Reego knows how to explain it to us.”
I dragged an open palm over my face and sighed with frustration. “What are we supposed to do now?”
“Wait?” Kay said more as a question than a statement.
“And for how long?” I added.
“Maybe we should leave,” Ah’Rhea said.