by Dylan Peters
“No,” I said. “I didn’t say that. Well, I did, but I didn’t say it first. You didn’t hear the other voice?”
“Maybe you should sit back down,” my mother said.
Throw rocks like the big man.
Now I knew exactly what was happening, although I wasn’t sure how it was happening. I looked around the room, scanning every nook and shadow for the squirrel Jim had saved in the dungeon.
“We need your help,” I said aloud. “Please show yourself.”
A chittering came from the large window, and I turned to see the small blue squirrel with the ringed tail standing on its hind legs. I could hear its thoughts. Was this the Everflame at work? Was this my connection with the shadow bear? Was it all the same thing? I was beginning to understand without knowing.
“Are you talking to me?” I asked the squirrel.
It moved forward on the stones of the window sill and chittered again.
“Did you climb all the way up here, little guy?” I asked the squirrel, trying to use a friendly voice.
The squirrel looked cautiously toward my mother, then to the door, and then back to me.
“It’s okay,” I said. “We won’t hurt you. We’re in trouble.”
It occurred to me that I should be trying to communicate with the squirrel in the way it had communicated with me. I closed my eyes and thought my next question.
Why did you come up here?
I hide in cracks and nooks. I climb and hide from danger on the ground.
You remember the big man who helped you?
If I could throw rocks like the big man. No more danger.
He is my friend. I need your help. He needs your help, too.
I am afraid.
So are we.
What can I do?
Take a message to the dog that is with my friend. The dog’s name is Reego. Tell Reego that Arthur says to use fire, escape, and take everyone to the dome.
Use fire. Escape. Take everyone to the dome.
Yes. Thank you.
The squirrel chittered once more and then disappeared out the window.
“Arthur, were you talking to that thing?” My mother asked, completely dumbfounded.
I nodded.
“What is happening to you?” she asked with genuine fear.
It hurt to see her afraid and to know that much of her fear was of what was happening to her own son, her family, her flesh and blood.
“I don’t know how to explain it yet,” I said slowly, “but I’m beginning to understand it. I have a plan to get us out of here.”
18
Now I understood that even as a prisoner in the Starless Tower, I had been given a chance. I didn’t know who gave me the Everflame, whether it was the Nullwood itself or a person. Yet I knew that through the Everflame, I had a chance to escape the Tower, to help my friends and family, and maybe to help make peace with this new world. I just had to figure out how to use it.
My mother still looked at me with confusion and fear. My words had not brought her peace, and I wasn’t sure anything I could say would do so. We would likely never share a carefree sunny day on a beach again. Life wouldn’t return to the way it was.
Time moved forward and carved new streams of life. The process wasn’t evil. Change was a condition of existence, and those who existed had to adapt to it. Yet, if we rejected change, it could cause damage to us, like a rock that stands in opposition to the flow of a river and erodes over time. Time and change weren’t things we had to fight. We had to allow the world to become what it would, however much that might scare us.
So that was what I planned to do, but first I had to look within myself again. I needed to meet with the shadow bear.
I sat down next to my mother and gave her another hug. “I’m going to get us out of here,” I said. “I’m going to stop Kesia, but first I need to… meditate.”
The look of doubt washed off of my mother’s face and was replaced with compassion.
“You’ve been using it?” she said proudly. “It’s helping?”
“Yeah,” I said. “It really is.”
“Well, I’m not going anywhere,” my mother said. “I’ll be right here next to you.”
She was so willing to retake her place as my protector. I realized that was something she needed right now. It wouldn’t comfort her to be protected by me. That wasn’t something she was used to. She needed to be my mother for her world to be right.
“Thank you,” I said. “And wake me up if Kesia comes back.”
My mother nodded and smiled at me. I leaned back against the cold stone wall, with the darkness and clouds still churning outside, and I closed my eyes.
I couldn’t say exactly when I realized that I could connect to the Nullwood and its creatures; I think the realization just grew slowly over time. Even the collective vision of the dome’s location wasn’t because I had discovered some formula. I could connect to the Nullwood. I could even share the connection. For the first time in my life, I knew I was in control and had confidence.
I opened my eyes and was no longer in the Starless Tower. I was standing in the shallows of my mind’s ocean, looking up at the dome of colored branches. I felt the shadow bear close by, and then he nudged my hand with his wet nose just like a dog wishing to be pet. I looked from the sky and into the bear’s eyes, and it was like looking into my own.
“Are you my mystical?” I asked.
I thought you were mine, the bear answered.
This was my first epiphany, and one of the things I had been starting to understand. Our relationships to the mysticals were not those of children to their mothers, with the mysticals being our protectors in perpetuity. The relationship between a person and their mystical was one of change, growth and synergy; it was a symbiosis.
I thought hard about how to phrase my next question and decided that it would be best put simply.
“Can we all have a mystical?”
I don’t know… but I hope so.
“Me too,” I said. “Can you exist outside of me permanently, the way Wisket does with Anna?”
“Does Wisket not exist within Anna also?”
His question struck me, and I paused to think for a moment. Reego, Wisket, and the other mysticals didn’t disappear at will as I’d thought they did. They were retreating within their partners, just as the shadow bear had retreated within me. I’d noticed that Reego hadn’t “disappeared” since Ah’Rhea had passed. Suddenly, a shocking and terrifying thing occurred to me.
“What will happen to Reego now that Ah’Rhea is gone?” I asked.
I don’t know, but I can feel him fading.
“Can we stop it? Can we help him?”
I don’t know.
I was floored and realized that time was less in our favor now than it ever had been. I had to find out everything I could before it was too late.
“What is the Everflame and how do we use it?”
I don’t know.
“But we have to figure it out,” I said. “We can’t fail.”
I can take you to it, the shadow bear said.
“How?”
Suddenly, the ground underneath our feet rumbled.
“Whoa—are you doing this?” I asked the bear.
I’m showing you the way to the flame.
The rumbling continued, and I had to check my balance as the water began to quickly recede around us until it was just over my toes. A whirlpool appeared ten feet away from where we stood, and as the sea water rushed into it, I grabbed the shadow bear to steady myself. We watched while the ocean of my mind flowed into a dark hole in the sand, like bath water down a drain. Faster than I thought possible it disappeared, and we soon stood next to a hole, black with seaweed and shadow. I looked at the bear and somehow understood without words what would come next.
“The flame is down there.” It was more of a statement than a question.
Yes. We will go together.
The shadow bear left my side and walked to the
hole in the sand. Then he lowered himself down into the dark of the hole. He left my sight before I managed a single step forward, but I could still sense him.
Follow me.
I walked to the hole, and it smelled like the ocean at low tide. The seaweed and kelp that lined the walls of the hole looked slick, and I was afraid to follow the bear. Yet I knew I had to go, and not because I didn’t have a choice, but because I did have a choice. I had to take action for the people I cared about, and for myself. So I sat beside the hole, lowered my legs in, grabbed the black seaweed growing from the walls, and climbed down into the darkness.
After a minute of climbing, my feet met a soft wet floor.
This way, the shadow bear said.
I walked forward with my arms stretched before me, one arm extended fully in front of me, and one arm more to my side. I felt vulnerable in all directions. It was so dark I could have walked straight off of a cliff without knowing it. Yet as I moved forward slowly and cautiously, a dim light grew ahead.
The growing light broke my concentration, causing me to slip and fall on the soft wet ground. As I rolled onto my back, I realized I was now in the same location I’d been in during my first vision, the one I thought was a dream. I looked to the left and saw only darkness; I looked to the right and saw only darkness; I looked up and the dim light made the ceiling of the tunnel look like the branches of the Nullwood under a very dark sky. I propped myself up on my elbows, looked down the tunnel, and could see the flame, a small dot in the distance. In my dream, the shadow bear had dragged me toward the flame. He had tried to use his strength to help me reach my goal. I wouldn’t need his strength to move forward now.
I stood up and continued toward the light, my footing now steady. I was confident, remembering that I was in control of my vision. I began running toward the growing dot of light that I knew was the Everflame. I ran as I’d never run before, and as I sprinted down the tunnel I could see ancient cave paintings on the walls before me. There was a griffin standing on its hind legs, the outline accented with smears of yellow. Another painting looked like a mermaid surrounded by blue waters. To the right, I saw an ancient depiction of a dragon breathing light red flames, with a green moon hanging above it. I wondered what these cave paintings meant. What was my subconscious mind attempting to reveal?
I continued down my path and soon I entered a small hollow chamber, the Everflame burning bright before me. The flame sat on a small stone pillar just an arm’s length away. I could reach out and touch it if I wanted to. I looked at the center of the flame and saw an orb of swirling light with large flares fanning around it. They rose and fell in waves of red, orange, and yellow. The Everflame looked alive; it looked dangerous.
Touch the flame, the bear said.
I couldn’t see the shadow bear in the chamber, but I could feel that he was with me. I took a deep breath, remembered that I was in control, and grabbed the orb at the center of the Everflame with both my hands.
Light and a thousand images immediately flooded my mind. All of existence swirled around me in vivid color. I saw it all lucidly. I was intimate with the vision. There were no other words to explain the experience.
See them, the shadow bear said.
I thought of my friends and they appeared to me out of the whirling colors. I saw them in the dungeon near the Starless Tower, their motions were fluttering as if I was snapping the pages of a flip book. As time passed, the frenzied fluttering slowed. Soon I saw them as if I were in the cell beside them. I tried to speak to them, but they couldn’t hear me. They didn’t react to me at all. I reminded myself that I wasn’t really there with them.
As a silent observer, I saw the little blue squirrel enter the dungeon, and watched as my friends turned their attention to him. Reego and the squirrel met gazes, and suddenly time jumped. Reego was ablaze in mystical fire. The light around the wild dog swelled, pulsed, and then swept forward with immense force. Reego’s fire broke the door of the cell, leaving the bars mangled and molten.
Then I gasped as I watched Reego fall forward and fade. Kay cried out and rushed to him, his mystical energy disappearing. She picked Reego up and he whimpered in her arms. His body faded even more, and I feared he might literally disappear before my eyes. Kay buried her face in the dog’s fur.
My heart was in my throat. Seconds passed that felt like hours, and, slowly, Reego came back. His body became more and more opaque, and soon he was licking Kay’s face and everyone was smiling and laughing and crying and…
Time jumped again.
My friends were no longer in the dungeon. I watched them as they walked through the Nullwood. Jim carried Anna, and Kay carried Reego, while Wisket and the little blue squirrel followed on the ground. I was relieved to see my friends had escaped the dungeon. For now, they were free, and they were headed to the dome of colored branches.
I wished I knew if I was seeing the past, the present, or the future in these visions. I also wished that I could help my friends. Then, I realized I couldn’t help them this way at all. As long as I was apart from them I was useless. They had escaped the dungeon, or they would escape the dungeon, but it didn’t matter. I had found the Everflame and was using it to see them. When the time came, I should be able to use it against Kesia. I couldn’t remain in my vision any longer. I had to get out of the Starless Tower.
But as I was about to remove my hands from the Everflame, I heard Anna ask Jim if he thought I was okay. Jim said yes with feigned bravado, but Anna didn’t seem convinced. She told Jim she regretted treating me so coldly. Jim told her not to worry about it. However, Anna was worried, I could see that, and Jim’s words weren’t helping her.
“The faster we get to the dome, the faster we can help Arthur,” Anna said.
“We’re going as fast as we can,” Kay replied.
“We can go faster if Wisket and I take over,” Anna said.
The group stopped walking. Everyone looked at Anna.
“You can’t,” Jim said.
“Yes I can," Anna argued. “Wisket and I can do it. We’re strong enough together.”
Kay and Jim looked at each other doubtfully, but Anna told Jim to put her down.
I watched with bated breath. I had no idea what was going on. Jim set Anna on the floor of the Nullwood, and as he did my vision became suddenly obscured by green mist.
“What?” I said aloud to no one.
I pulled my hands back from the Everflame and saw the mist gathering around me. It looked black in the dim light, but I knew what color it really was, and I knew whose presence it signified. I heard a scream in the distance, and then the scream was followed by muffled words. As the mist continued to grow around me, I remembered my mother. I had to get back to her.
I ran back down the tunnel and reminded myself that this was all in my mind, my head, my world, and before I could blink I was flying up and out of the seaweed-lined hole. As I came fully into the light, I saw the entire beach flooded with green mist. The shadow bear was there, and the mist had surrounded him. Another scream shattered my consciousness, and this time it was unmistakably my mother. She was trying to wake me from my vision. She was trying to warn me that Kesia had returned.
Arthur, wake up, my mother screamed as I tried to run from the beach. Wake up.
I looked at the shadow bear and knew what a terrible mistake I had made. I had let Kesia in. She had seen everything that I had seen. She knew my friends had escaped and were heading for the dome of colored branches. I felt something grab me around the throat, and I woke from my vision to see Kesia inches from my face, brandishing her terrible perfect smile. Her eyes glowed with victory.
“Thank you, Arthur, my sweet,” Kesia said. “Thank you so much for finally letting me in.”
“What did you see?” I asked like a fool.
“Only what you let me,” Kesia said and laughed with a giddiness that chilled my spine. “And you let me see everything.”
Kesia turned sharply toward the door with her cold whi
te hand still wrapped around my throat. She called out and two mynahs entered the room, their beaks clicking like metronomes. I screamed and thrashed, but there was no use. I tried to summon the shadow bear, but he would not come. I looked at my mother as one of the mynahs took her in its grasp and flew out the window.
“It seems the dome is the answer to all my problems,” Kesia said with glowing green eyes. “So we’re going to take a little trip, Arthur. Don’t worry, all your closest friends will be there.”
19
The mynahs carried my mother and me high above the Nullwood while Kesia flew just ahead, silently leading the way. The wind whipped my face and forced tears to well at the corners of my eyes. Soon we were within sight of the dome of colored branches. It stood out like a beacon in the darkness. The sky above the dome churned with ominous clouds that reflected the light of the dome in a way that made their shapes appear to come alive. The clouds looked like the spirits of ancient dragons ready to scorch the earth with hellfire; they looked like harbingers of a coming apocalypse.
I didn’t know exactly why Kesia had brought us to the dome. I didn’t know what she saw in my mind that made her confident she had found a solution, but I was terrified that this would be the end of us all. I was certain that this was where Kesia would finally take the Everflame.
We descended closer and closer to the dome, and the colors were so vibrant it was as if we were flying above a neon-lit festival. Through the intertwined branches of color, I could see my friends staring up into the night sky. They’d made it here as fast as they could because they knew I wanted them to. It hurt to think their faith in me might mean their deaths. I hoped I could tell them how sorry I was for all of this.
Jim pointed at us as we descended, and all my friends watched in awe as the dome opened for Kesia like a flower opening for the sun. It angered me that something as perfect as the dome could be bent to the whims of this witch. It boiled my blood, and suddenly I couldn’t stop the immense rage I felt.
Just like that, the shadow bear was with me again. My body swelled with flowing energy and power. Enraged, I swiped at the mynah that carried me, and my arm was wreathed in golden energy. My hand looked as if it has been dipped in a vat of molten gold and reshaped to mimic the mighty claw of a bear. It was our weapon. It was our claw.