But she's not here.
I say my goodbyes to Mal and to our sound guy, and I look for her. She's not in the hall or in any of the other suites.
But she is in the lobby.
With Alessandra.
What the hell is our tour manager doing here?
Alessandra's gaze catches mine. She waves hello and motions for me to join their conversation.
Bella turns to me, holding up a coffee cup. "I was bribed."
"Is it working?" I ask.
Bella shakes her head. "Not yet. Maybe if this was loose leaf."
Alessandra laughs. "Your wife tells me the song is going well, yes?"
I nod.
"Good. The label is annoyed, but that isn't my problem. Hearing about it… that is a problem." She shoots me a knowing look. "I know it's Malcolm who's the diva, sweetheart, but he's pretty enough to pull it off."
"And I'm not?" I tease her back.
"You don't have the pipes." She winks at me. "Joel, will you hate me if I offer your wife a job?"
"Depends on the job," I say.
Bella's eyes flair with something I can't quite place.
"I could use someone like you. I've needed a good assistant for ages. And you have a knack for it. And I can trust you not to sleep with the talent, present company excluded," Alessandra says.
Bella shakes her head. "That's very generous, but—"
"Think about it." Alessandra leans in to hug Bella goodbye. Then she does the same to me. "Merry Christmas. I'll see you two at the New Year's show."
I wait until she's out the door to slide my arms around Bella.
"You must be tired after all that." She rests her head against my chest. "I was tired just watching you."
"Yeah?"
She nods. "You guys work well together."
"We spent half the time fighting."
"Because you're all passionate and headstrong."
"We do have to compromise."
"You got there, didn't you?"
More or less. I undo her bun and run my fingers through her hair.
She leans into my touch.
She purrs.
Usually, after we record, I go out and get wasted.
But right now, I don't want that kind of shit.
I want Bella.
I want to talk to her.
To hold her.
Yeah, I want to fuck her, but I want to just be with her more than I want to be inside her.
Her voice is a whisper. It's barely there, like she's already drifting off someplace. "I'm not very rock n' roll."
"That's what we need. Someone with her shit together. Someone who insists on wearing sunscreen and baseball caps hiking."
"That's common sense."
I laugh. "You don't know musicians."
"Maybe."
"You should give it a shot."
Her posture stiffens. She shrugs off my arms.
She takes a long step backwards. "I don't know. That's all, still…" She looks up at me. "It's late. I don't want to have this conversation when I'm tired and grumpy."
"You're grumpy?"
"A little." Her expression softens. "It's Christmas Eve. I don't want to get in another fight."
I don't want to fight either. But this isn't a conversation we can put off forever.
I'm about to object when she yawns. Her jaw drops. Her arms stretch over her head.
She blushes. "I am tired."
I can tell.
This time, I'll go easy on her.
I slide my arms around her waist and pull her body into mine. Again, she purrs, and I'm incredibly fucking tempted to stay here like this all night.
Her chest against mine.
Her heart beating with mine.
Fuck, holding her satisfies me in a way nothing else does. I should be high off recording our song, but she's grabbing all my attention.
I brush her hair behind her ear. "What do you normally do on Christmas Eve?"
She looks up at me, her expression coy. "That's a secret."
"Yeah?"
She nods. She tries to hold a straight face, but it only lasts a few seconds. She breaks. Laughs. Blushes.
Her fingers skim my chin.
She rests her head on my chest. "I stay up late to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas."
"Secret emo girl." I laugh.
She taps her frames. "I have the glasses for it." Her lips curl into a smile. "But I think emo is before my time."
"You calling me old, angel?"
She nods as she digs her fingers into my t-shirt. Her voice is low, this mix of exhaustion and desire. "What do you normally do on Christmas Eve?"
"Usually, I'm at home." I always thought my family had picture perfect Christmases, but looking back… I missed all the signs. I fed myself a lot of bullshit.
Things have been fucked for a while.
She traces the neckline of my t-shirt. "We haven't talked about your parents, about the divorce. Not really."
"We will. But not now."
She nods. "Maybe… well, watching that movie was my tradition. Maybe we should make our own tradition."
"You trust me?" It's late. This might be a bad move. But it feels right.
She nods.
"Good. I have just the idea."
The bouncer nods to me with recognition. He lets us into the club, and points us to the VIP area, without checking our IDs.
Bella's eyes go wide. "I don't belong here."
"You don't want to dance with me?"
"I mean—"
"If you want to dance, and you're here, you belong here."
She nods. "This is a strange Christmas Eve celebration."
"You don't like it?"
She looks around. "I don't know. I was ready to collapse at the studio. But with the music and the lights." She looks to me. "The only time I've ever had fun at a club was our wedding night."
"That's why I'm here."
Her eyes light up. "Yeah?"
I nod. "And I'm thinking about a repeat of what made that night especially fun."
Her pupils dilate. "Oh."
"You game?"
She nods. "Very."
I slide my arm around her waist and pull her closer. This is a nice club. It's not a busy night, but the room is still pounding with house music. If anything, the less than packed dance floor makes this more difficult.
But I don't mind.
"You want a gin and tonic?" I lead Bella towards the bar.
She presses her lips together. "Just one."
Just enough to lower her inhibitions so she's not nervous about fucking me in public. It's in her eyes, in the way she's pressing her palms into her quads and biting her lip.
She looks so fucking good in that dress, all prim and proper.
She does seem like she has everything together.
I'm the only person who gets to know how dirty she is.
I'm the only person who knows how deeply she hurts.
Fuck, the responsibility of that fills me with pride. But it is a responsibility.
She's letting me in.
I have to do the same to her.
I want to do the same to her.
But we still have that divorce date looming. It's only three days away now.
I lean against the bar, hail the bartender, and order drinks.
Bella holds onto my waist, resting her head on my shoulder.
The bartender drops off our drinks. I pay with a hundred and insist he keep the change.
A laugh breaks up the frustration in Bella's expression. "You're getting showy again."
"I can call a limo to take us home," I say.
"You can order bottle service in the VIP area." She takes a long sip of her drink. Her tongue slides over her lips, lapping every drop. "Is this the kind of place where you go to pick up women?"
"I pick up women everywhere."
She takes another long sip. "But the ones who know you're famous."
"Yeah." It's wrong downing m
y bourbon in one long sip. I do it anyway. Fuck, that burns. I drop my glass on a nearby table. "Why? You want to have a threesome with another chick?"
"You're deflecting."
"You too."
"No. I think I'd kill any woman who tried to touch you." She downs the last bit of her gin and tonic and drops her glass next to mine. "You're really good at deflecting."
"You are too."
She wraps her arms around my waist. "I want to say something, but I don't think I'm brave enough yet."
I motion towards the bar.
Bella shakes her head. "I don't want that kind of courage."
I'm used to playing cool.
To walking away.
But I don't want to do that with her, not tonight, not right now.
My feelings for her are intense. It's fucking terrifying. And knowing that we might only have a few days…
Fuck, I'm not walking away from this. Even if that means I'll be devastated this time next week.
I lead her to the dance floor.
I press my hands against her hips to guide her. Bella has trouble finding the rhythm of a song, but when I'm leading, she catches it right away.
She presses her crotch against mine. Then she's looking up at me. "Joel, why did you ask me to marry you that night? Really? No bullshit."
"It's gonna sound stupid."
"Tell me anyway."
I look her in the eyes. "I've always operated on instinct. It felt right."
She stares back, not demanding an explanation, just listening.
I want to tell her everything. I need to do it now, because my cock is gonna take over soon. "That morning, when my parents told me they were splitting up, this lightbulb went off. Suddenly it was obvious that they'd never really been happy. My mom was looking at me like she'd break if I didn't play along and pretend I was happy about this. My dad was looking at me like I was the only person who could really understand why he wanted to go sow his oats after thirty-five years of marriage. They wanted me to be happy about the decision and, for the first time, I couldn't find a way to laugh it off. I couldn't find a way to deflect."
"You didn't want to put up with them bullshitting you?"
"Yeah, but it was more than that." I lean in close enough to whisper. "It wasn't a conscious decision. I went to Vegas to get out of my head. I thought I wanted to find a beautiful woman and fuck her until she was screaming my name. No, I did want that. But, deep down, I wanted a real connection more."
"But why me?" she asks.
"Why me?"
"You're deflecting."
"Answer anyway."
"You make me laugh."
"Is that all?" I tease.
"No… I like who I am around you. I don't like who I am around my dad. Or my friends at school. I didn't like who I was around Stan. I don't even like who I am when I'm alone. I don't even know who I am when I'm alone. I've been bending myself into the shape that best suits everyone else for so long…"
"I like who you are."
"Can you explain it to me?"
"You bite back. You're smart. Quick. You see through bullshit. You know what it's like to pretend like everything rolls off your back." I run my hand through her hair. "I like that you're wound up. I want to unwind you. I want to get you messy and dirty."
She digs her fingers into my back. Even through my t-shirt, I can feel the heat of her skin. The pressure of her touch.
I wish I had a better explanation. But I don't.
I brush her hair behind her ear and lean in close. My cheek brushes against hers. My free hand goes to her lower back.
I whisper. "There wasn't one reason. It just felt right."
She rubs her cheek against mine as she rises to her tiptoes to whisper in my ear. Her voice is shaky. Uncertain. "Does it still feel right?"
Yeah, but there's not enough blood in my brain for me to be sure which organ is making that decision.
I let my hands slide to her hips. Her ass. Fuck, she feels good. Soft. Warm. Mine.
She needs to be mine.
If not forever, then right now.
But then I'm losing my ability to think about anything but being inside her.
Now.
I pull her closer. She lets out a soft moan as my hard-on brushes her stomach. All these fucking clothes in the way.
I hold her body against mine. "I want to fuck you."
Her lips part with a sigh of pleasure. She sucks breath in through her teeth. "You're evading."
"Yeah."
"Joel…"
Her voice is shaky.
She wants to give in to her desire too.
She wants this as badly as I do.
"I am evading." I pull her dress up her thigh and run my fingertips over her soft skin. "I still want to fuck you."
She brushes her cheek against my neck. "Joel…"
"I'm too hard to think straight."
She groans.
"You're not going to convince me you want something else." I drag my fingers up her leg so I can press my palm against her. "You're so fucking wet."
She looks up at me. "At our appointment… No bullshit, no stupid demands, no lies. Okay?"
"Same goes for you."
"I know." Her eyes bore into mine. "You promise?"
I bring my hands to her ass to grind her crotch against mine. Fuck that feels good.
I can barely get my words out. I can barely remember I'm making a point about all my blood rushing to my cock. "You trust a promise from me right now?"
She places her hand over mine, pressing my palm into her panties. "You trust a promise from me right now?"
I laugh. "I promise."
"Me too."
I lean down to press my lips to hers. I don't want to talk anymore.
I'm not sure I can talk anymore.
She tastes so fucking good.
And she's aggressive. Needy.
Her tongue slides into my mouth.
Her moans vibrate down my neck.
Her fingers dig into my leather jacket.
Then she's sliding her hand under my t-shirt, pressing her palm against my stomach.
She's not holding anything back.
Neither one of us is.
I kiss her harder. I rub her over her panties until she's groaning loud enough to drown out the music.
Her fingers dig into my skin.
Right now, I need her desperate and panting.
I push her panties aside.
She breaks our kiss and sucks in a labored breath.
Her eyes fix on mine. She nods a yes.
I drag my lips over her cheek until my mouth is hovering over her ear. "I'm going to take you right to the edge angel. I'm going to get you so desperate you're begging me to fuck you right here in front of everyone."
She lets out a low, deep groan.
I don't have a fucking doubt that I can do it.
But I like Bella too much to get her arrested.
I know just where I'll fuck her.
But first things first.
I suck on her earlobe. Softly. Then harder. Then hard enough to get her moaning.
I keep my fingertips hovering over her clit.
She rocks her hips, brushing her clit against my fingers.
She does it again and again.
"Please," she breathes.
I suck harder. "Demand it."
"Touch me."
I do. I brush my fingers over her clit softly.
That's enough to get her shaking.
Fuck, I love the way she responds to me.
I brush my fingers against her again and again.
Until she's digging her nails into my skin, groaning that you're an evil tease, Joel groan of hers.
It's obvious what we're doing here.
But I don't fucking care.
I can't care about anything but getting Bella screaming my name.
I rub her harder. Harder.
She groans into my ear.
She drags her nails over my
skin.
Her breathing gets heavy.
I stroke her until she's shaking. Until her nails are digging into my skin enough to draw blood.
I pull my hand away.
"Joel," she whines. She stares at me, her brown eyes wrecked with need.
Her entire body is wrecked with need.
She looks up at me with those dark eyes of hers. "Fuck me, Joel. I want to come on your cock."
My cock quivers. It doesn't care about my need to get Bella begging.
It's making quite a convincing argument.
Not yet.
I slide my arm around her waist. I keep her body pressed against mine as I lead her through the dance floor and past the bar, all the way through the side door.
Bella bites her lip as she looks around the alley. We're alone out here, but we are sandwiched between two busy streets. Someone might walk by.
But the music from the club is booming. It drowns out the sounds of the city.
That means we don't have to worry about being quiet.
That means I can get her screaming my name.
I bring my hands to her hips and I turn her around. She leans into the gesture, her back melting into my chest, her ass brushing against my crotch.
Bella grabs the bottom of her dress and pulls it over her hips. Her voice gets demanding. "Now."
"Put your hands on the wall."
She places her palms against the wall over her head.
"Spread your legs wider."
She spreads enough that I can get a good look at her.
Fuck, I need to be inside her.
But I need her begging me too.
I drag my fingertips over her ass, closer, and closer to where she needs them.
Her legs shake.
I brush her cunt with my fingers.
"Joel," she breathes.
I slide one finger inside her.
She gasps.
Two.
She's wet. And she's close. I can tell from the way she's pulsing. I push my fingers deeper to warm her up.
Deeper.
Harder.
She groans. "Fuck me, Joel." Her voice drops to something demanding. "Now."
Damn, I can't take any more teasing.
I slide my jeans and boxers to my knees.
I bring my hands to Bella's hips and I pull her closer.
My tip strains against her.
She groans with this perfect mix of agony and ecstasy.
Right now, she's mine.
Right now, I'm the only thing she wants.
Right now, I'm everything she needs.
I tease her again and again.
Dangerous Rock: A Rock Star Romance (Dangerous Noise Book 3) Page 17