by Anne Ashley
‘Yes, she certainly does look enchanting,’ he agreed. ‘It is possibly contentment, Melissa. She’s very well pleased with the way your groom’s young nephew has been taking care of her favourite mount.’
‘I’m delighted to hear it,’ she responded promptly, but Julian wasn’t at all convinced that this was true. Jennifer’s happiness, he felt sure, was of precious little interest to Melissa. Nor did he suppose for a moment that she had given a single thought during the past days to her groom’s young nephew. He was fast coming to realise that there was a vast difference between what Melissa was thinking and what she said. The fact of the matter was, of course, he no longer trusted her. Consequently he did not hesitate to slip quietly away to enjoy more congenial company the instant her attention was claimed by Colonel Halstead’s loquacious wife.
Although having been occupied in persuading one of the more mature ladies present to play a selection of music to enable dancing to take place, Jennifer had noted the little interlude between Julian and Melissa. She had noticed too that he had not seemed completely happy in the attractive widow’s company, and could not help wondering whether she was to blame for this faint reserve she had easily detected in his demeanour.
She managed with little difficulty to thrust this guilty thought from her mind for the remainder of the enjoyable evening, but after she had bidden farewell to the last of their guests, and was making her way up to her room, her conscience began to prick her again, as she recalled that one minor flaw in what otherwise had been a delightful dinner-party.
Surely Julian did not suppose for a moment that Melissa had really tried to poison his wife? Why, it was ludicrous in the extreme! she decided, taking off her jewellery as she made her way along the red-carpeted passageway to her bedchamber. What possible motive could Melissa have had to do such a malicious thing? If she had happened to be in love with Julian then, yes, there would have been some reason to it, but Jennifer felt certain in her own mind that this was not the case. Not once during recent months, or, indeed, in the distant past, had she detected even a flicker of a lovelorn expression on the widow’s attractive features, nor any glint of desire in those deep-set, dark eyes.
The thought struck her most forcibly, and she paused for a moment, fingers clasped about the doorknob, before entering her room. How she wished she could say the same about herself!
Depositing her jewellery on the dressing-table, she wasted no time in slipping out of the silk gown, about which she had received numerous compliments during the evening. She had instructed Rose not to wait up in order to attend her. Which was possibly just as well in the circumstances, Jennifer reflected, for she had much to think about, and was in no mood for indulging in idle chatter.
After donning one of her modest nightgowns, she seated herself before the dressing-table mirror, her mind automatically returning to the main concern besetting her of late.
Melissa, of course, might possibly be extremely adept at concealing her feelings; she, on the other hand, was not; and she could no longer ignore the fact that she was finding it daily more difficult to keep her ever-increasing regard for Wroxam from showing. More disturbing still was the fact that she was finding it difficult to conceal what she had always known to be true—that deep down she had never stopped loving him, though she had tried often enough to convince herself that it was quite otherwise.
She shook her head, unable to forbear a smile at her own foolishness. Oh, yes, she had been immensely foolish in trying to convince herself, times without number over the years, that she had married an unfeeling, arrogant aristocrat who cared for no one and nothing, save the proud name he bore. How wrong she had been! The truth of the matter was that she had never really known her husband; had never supposed for a moment that hidden behind that cool and dignified manner was a gracious and charming man who had proved to be an exceptional father. Most surprising of all, he was proving to be the very best of companions, a true friend.
But was friendship enough? She was not so guileless as to suppose that Julian was indifferent to her. She had glimpsed that certain look in his eyes, a look which betrayed clearly enough that he would be more than happy to resume full marital relations, and it was very much to his credit that he had never once demanded his rights as her husband. And, if the truth were known, she was finding it increasingly difficult to ignore her body’s reaction whenever Julian was near; daily much harder to suppress the longing to be held in those strong arms, to feel those surprisingly gentle hands caressing her so tenderly, so expertly, just as they had done years before.
She must face the fact that a purely platonic relationship was not what she wanted any more. But what choice did she have? Her past infidelity would always come between them. True, it might be forgotten for a time, but it would always return, a constant torment, an ever-present threat to any future happiness, and she could not bear to be rejected, abandoned for a second time.
A light scratch on the door put an end to these heartbreaking reflections, for the time being at least. Assuming it must be Rose who, against instructions, had come to assist her, she did not bother to turn her head when the door opened. ‘And what do you suppose you are doing here?’
‘I am merely here to return an item belonging to you, my dear,’ a deep voice laced with amusement drawled.
Surprised, but not unduly disturbed by his unexpected appearance, Jennifer didn’t even attempt to reach for her robe, and merely held out her hand for the pearl earring he held between finger and thumb. ‘Thank you, Julian. I wouldn’t have liked to lose that. It has great sentimental value, you see—the pearls were my mother’s.’ She saw those expressive brows rise in surprise, and could not resist the temptation to tease him a little. ‘As were the emeralds you saw me wearing during the Season. And were not, as you possibly supposed, from some ardent admirer.’
She had the satisfaction of glimpsing an expression of mild contrition. ‘They had been safely kept by the family lawyer. My mother was an immensely sensible woman. She no doubt feared that Papa might sell them after her death in order to pay gaming debts. She also left me a considerable sum of money which I knew absolutely nothing about until my return to this country, and which came in very useful. A visit to the capital is not cheap, as well you know.’
‘Indeed it is not,’ he agreed, before recalling something that had occurred to him earlier. ‘But why are you not wearing the family jewels?’ He was not slow to note the distinctly guarded expression flit over the delicate features, before she rose from the stool to put on her robe at last.
‘I’ve never been one to sport a dazzling array of gauds, Julian.’
One dark brow rose mockingly. ‘And now may I be permitted to know the real reason?’
He moved slowly towards her, coming to stand so close that she had little difficulty in detecting the faint aroma of the brandy he always consumed before retiring for the night. She was painfully aware too of her body’s instant response to his nearness.
‘I have no right to wear them,’ she managed to respond, before warm fingers were placed beneath her chin and she was forced to meet a gaze which had grown suddenly intense, and which betrayed clearly enough that he knew precisely what was passing through her mind.
‘It would not, I trust, prove an unpleasant duty for you to rectify the matter, Jenny,’ he murmured, his own voice little more than a husky whisper now. ‘You know…you must know it is what I desire too.’
Oh, yes, she did know. And it was madness! She had to stop this before it went any further, before they allowed mutual desire to override common sense. She watched his gaze lower to focus on the ties of her modest nightgown. Her lips parted, but the refusal her mind was urging her to make lacked the conviction even to rise in her throat. It hardly mattered, however, for it was already too late, and she knew it.
Sweeping her up into his arms, Julian carried her across to the bed, his lips fully occupied in alternately kissing and murmuring all the endearments he had for weeks longed to utter, whi
le his hands expertly peeled away the final layers of clothing for the unfettered contact his passion demanded.
He felt her tremble, or perhaps it was himself, as he began at last to reacquaint himself with every inch of skin on that innocent girl he had instructed in the gentle art of lovemaking so many years ago. She had proved an apt pupil, and he swiftly realised that his gentle teachings had not been forgotten. When she began to caress him in return, hesitantly at first, and then with tender expertise, he could contain his need no longer, and was forced to pay a high price for the self-control he had exerted over himself during the past months. The consummation of their reunion was over far too quickly as far as he was concerned, but he contented himself, as he pulled her into the crook of his arm and began to stroke the mass of hair cascading over his chest, with the knowledge that they were once again husband and wife, and nothing and no one would ever come between them again.
He supposed he must have dozed, but something disturbed him, and he opened his eyes to discover himself quite alone in the bed. Panic welled until he saw her, naked and silhouetted against the window, that beautiful hair tumbling down in a V-shaped mass, covering almost every inch of the slender, straight back.
‘Jenny?’ he murmured, and thought for a moment that she had not heard, but then she said,
‘I’m sorry, Julian. Did I disturb you?’
Grasping the coverlet, he rose from the bed, and wrapped it about them both as he pulled her back against his chest, and slid his arms about the narrow waist, holding her gently captive. ‘What were you thinking about?’
He waited in vain for a response. ‘No regrets, I trust?’ Again only silence, and he rested his cheek against her head. ‘Come, Jenny, you wanted that to happen as much as I did.’
She didn’t attempt to deny it. ‘I cannot help wondering if it was the most sensible thing, though, Julian,’ she admitted at last, and felt his body shaking with silent, tender laughter.
‘Sense has little to do with it, my darling. When two people are in love, they show it in many different ways. And you do love me, don’t you, Jenny?’
‘I’ve never stopped loving you, Julian, though I tried often enough over the years to convince myself it was quite otherwise. I loved you from the first moment I set eyes on you.’
‘I wish to God I could say the same!’ His protracted and heartfelt sigh ruffled the fine strands of her hair. ‘I merely felt that in you, innocent and unspoilt, I had found the ideal person to mould into my Marchioness… Perhaps it was in part a guilty conscience which deterred me from taking steps to end our marriage,’ he continued after a moment’s thought. ‘I honestly don’t know. But I do know that from the first moment I saw you again, a divorce was the very last thing I wanted. And when I made it impossible for you to leave here without my consent, it wasn’t out of a sense of pique, or a desire for revenge, but because at some point, for the first time in my life, I’d fallen deeply in love…deeply in love with my own wife.’
He clearly detected what sounded like a suppressed sob. ‘But how can you, Julian, after what I did?’
‘Simply because when at last I acknowledged the depths of my own feelings, the past was of little consequence. Our marriage begins now, Jenny. It is our future happiness that’s important to me, not past mistakes. They’re forgiven and forgotten.’
‘I wish to heaven my mind was so adaptable, Julian,’ she responded, in a voice hardened by self-reproach. ‘If I had been in love with Geoffrey, I could have understood. But I was never in love with him, which makes what I did unforgivable. And that is why I cannot forget.’
She felt the arms about her tighten, before she was swept up in them for a second time and carried back to the bed. ‘Then, dammit, I’ll make you forget if it takes the rest of my life!’ he vowed, and attained the satisfaction of knowing, as he made love to her again, extracting those sweetly soft moans of pleasure, that her mind for the time being at least was not dwelling on the past.
Chapter Fifteen
The servants were immediately aware of the different atmosphere in the ancestral mansion, and as the weeks passed the happiness which pervaded the house showed no signs of diminishing.
On a bright, crisp morning in autumn, as he was crossing the hall, Slocombe caught sight of his mistress descending the stairs, and was suddenly reminded of that day when she had unexpectedly turned up on the doorstep of the house in Berkeley Square. He had thought then that things would never be quite the same again. And how delighted he was to have been proved right!
‘Good morning, my lady. And a fine morning it is too for a ride, if you do not mind my saying.’
‘I do not object in the least, Slocombe. It doesn’t seem five minutes since we were enjoying all that lovely summer weather, and yet here we are already in the middle of October. The weeks simply fly by!’ Jennifer glanced in the direction of her husband’s inner sanctum. ‘Is his lordship in his library by any chance? There is something I particularly wished to tell him.’
‘He is indeed, my lady, and quite alone, I believe.’
Julian, seated behind his desk, raised his head as the door opened, that certain smile, frequently seen nowadays softening the grey eyes, coming effortlessly to his lips when he saw who had entered. ‘No need to enquire how you intend to occupy your time this morning, madam wife,’ he remarked, after casting an approving glance over the new bottle-green habit.
He held out his hands, and she needed no further prompting to plump herself down on his lap. ‘Yes, I’m riding into town. There are a few bits and pieces I need to buy.’
A rueful smile tugged at her lips as a vivid memory returned. ‘Of course, had I chosen to save all the ribbons on those old gowns I discovered hanging in the wardrobes on the day I returned here, I would have had trimmings enough for a dozen bonnets, and would have no need now to purchase new ones.’
She regarded him in silence for a moment. ‘Why did you keep all my old dresses, Julian? Why did you issue orders that nothing in my room was to be touched?’
It was his turn to smile a trifle ruefully this time. ‘It’s difficult to explain. It was in part a guilty conscience, I suppose—not knowing what had become of you. And perhaps deep down I secretly hoped that one day you would return. In my mind it had always been your room. Certainly no other female ever crossed my path whom I would have wished to place there.’
He kissed her gently, before returning his thoughts to more mundane matters. ‘Now, have you sufficient funds about you to cover your purchases?’ he asked, and she could not help but smile.
She had needed to accustom herself to many things during the past weeks, not least of which was sharing her bed with her husband again. Not that she objected at all! One thing, however, she could not quite get used to again and that was being given pin-money, enough to buy most anything she wished.
‘Of course I have. You spoil me, Julian. Really you do! Not that I’m complaining, you understand.’ She glanced at the letter lying open on the desk, and recognised the handwriting at once. ‘Oh, another letter from Theo. Does he mention when he’s coming to visit us?’
‘He intends to arrive tomorrow, and will be with us for two weeks, or thereabouts. He’s wishing to oversee the changes he’s making to the Grange. From his letter it would appear he’s hiring an army of work-men to make alterations. He’s in something of a hurry to get the place in order before the wedding, you see.’
Like an excited child, she couldn’t suppress a little squeal of delight. ‘He’s asked her?’
‘He most certainly has, and Miss Carstairs, being an immensely sensible female, didn’t hesitate in accepting. Further-more, she sees no earthly reason why they should wait, and wishes to be married as soon as the house is ready. Also, she is hoping to persuade us to allow them to hold the wedding breakfast here at Wroxam Park, where she and Theo first became really acquainted. A sensible woman with a romantic streak, it would appear.’
‘How lovely! I’ll look forward to it.’ Her sudden frown ha
rdly substantiated this, however. ‘I just hope they don’t delay too long, otherwise I shall be unable to wear my new blue gown and matching pelisse.’
‘Why won’t you?’ Julian enquired, betraying a faint interest.
‘Because I shan’t be able to squeeze into the outfit, that’s why.’ Watching a look of dawning wonder take possession of those beloved, aristocratic features, she couldn’t resist a spot of harmless teasing. ‘I cannot imagine why you’re looking so surprised. It has been nothing—er—else since our reconciliation.’
‘Any complaints?’ His mouth curled into a wickedly provocative grin. ‘When will the baby arrive?’
‘Late spring. I thought we might tell Charles together later that it won’t be too long before he has a baby brother or sister.’
Again he shook his head in disbelief. ‘I am reputed to be a man of experience, and yet I really had no idea.’
This admission made her chuckle. ‘No, you didn’t the first time round, as I remember. History certainly has a habit of repeating itself.’
‘Not if I have any say in the matter!’ he countered with mock severity. ‘I intend to take every care of you this time. And for a start, madam wife, there will be no more horse-riding for you. I’ll exercise Oriel from now on.’
For a moment it looked as if she might argue, but then she reluctantly agreed. ‘But you must promise to take good care of my baby.’
‘I certainly shall,’ the tender smile flickered again, ‘providing you promise to take care of mine.’ He released his hold. ‘Now, off you go and change out of that habit. I’ll take you into town in the curricle. I need to see one or two people.’
They arrived in the local market town later that morning. Julian left his curricle in the care of an ostler at the Fox and Goose, and arranged to meet Jennifer back at the inn later.
Since her return to Wroxam Park she had made a point of patronising the local shops. Consequently she was known by most all the local merchants, and her custom was much appreciated. Mrs Goodbody, the proprietress of the haberdashery, was always pleased to see her, for the Marchioness never entered the premises without buying something.