Parking beside his truck, she walked down to the barn. Zane’s truck was there. As she approached, she heard Zane and Cody joking around as they fed the horses.
She walked into the barn and was relieved that they were almost finished. They must have started super early to be this far along. “Hey, Zane,” she called out. “If you have raptor cages to clean, I’ll take it from here.”
He tossed the hay flake he’d been holding back into the wheelbarrow. “Your headache gone?”
“Sure is.”
“Then I’ll accept that generous offer. Kyle’s coming by first thing to examine a falcon with a broken wing. I’d like to be there.”
She smiled at him. “Then take off, cowboy. I’ve got this.”
“Thanks, Faith.” He squeezed her shoulder as he walked past. “You’re the best. See you guys later.” Touching two fingers to the brim of his hat, he left the barn, moving fast.
Cody nudged back his hat and gazed at her. “I was hoping to see you this morning. Believe it or not, some idiot wants to show me his trailer at seven-thirty, so the minute I’m done here I have to take off.”
She pulled on her gloves. “Then we’d better get moving.”
“Not so fast, pretty lady.” He rounded the wheelbarrow and came toward her. “I can always text him and tell him I’ll be a few minutes late.”
She drank in the sight of his strong, lean body. He’d worn a deep blue Western shirt that matched the color of his eyes. While he was delivering hay, he’d rolled back the sleeves to free up his forearms.
She noticed the pattern of dark hair sprinkled over them and wished she’d paid more attention when she’d had the chance. Would she remember how he looked without his shirt? Had she fully admired his strong thighs and muscular calves? If she hadn’t, it was too late.
He pulled off his gloves and stuck them in his back pocket. “Got a kiss for me?”
She placed a restraining hand on his warm chest. “Let’s finish feeding. Then we need to talk.”
“I don’t like the sound of that. Or the way you’re looking at me. Is this bad news? Because if it is, give it to me, now.”
Adrenaline pumped through her, making her heart hammer against her ribs. “My dad suspects that we’re involved.”
He took a deep breath. “To tell you the truth, that doesn’t surprise me.”
“He doesn’t know everything, but for us to keep this up, I’d have to out-and-out lie to him. I can’t do that.”
He frowned. “What are you saying?”
“That it’s over. We have to stop seeing each other.” The depth of pain in his eyes was like a punch in the stomach. She’d expected him to be upset but not devastated.
His voice was thick with emotion. “You can’t mean that.”
“I do. He’s ready to change everything by getting involved with Deidre. That’s because he thinks I’m going to take up with you, or if not you, then someone else who might come along. I need to prove that I’m not going anywhere, which means it’s the end for us. If I keep seeing you, he’ll sense it.”
“Don’t do this. There has to be another way.”
“There isn’t.” Her throat tightened. “I’m sorry, Cody. Do you want me to help you finish up here?”
“No. I want you to rethink your decision.”
“I won’t. Maybe I should just go.” She turned and started back down the barn aisle.
“Wait.” He caught her arm. “Before you leave, I have something to say.”
Chapter Seventeen
Cody had been in tight spots before, but nothing like this. What he said in the next few minutes was so important. He hoped to hell he could say it right.
How ironic that Faith had chosen this moment to end it. He’d planned to have a talk with her tonight after they’d made love. He’d hoped to convince her they had a shot.
She stood very still, her green eyes filled with misery. She didn’t want this breakup any more than he did, but she believed it was the only way to keep the dominoes from falling. He had some thoughts about that, but he had to tread carefully.
He grasped her shoulders and she trembled. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to try and persuade you with a kiss. I don’t think that would work, and what I need to say is more important than kissing.”
“It’s no use, Cody.” Her voice was clogged with emotion. “I hate that we have to stop seeing each other, but that time would have come soon, anyway.”
“It wouldn’t have to.”
“Yes, it would. There’s no way it would work out for us.”
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I disagree. To start with, we could end the secrecy. I’m proud to tell the world that we’re together. I think everyone would be happy for us.”
“Not necessarily. My dad—”
“He likes me. I could talk with him. I’d reassure him that I’d never mess with the relationship he has with you. I’m not a threat.” He smiled. “I might even be an asset.”
“You don’t live here.”
“No, but you do. That’s a powerful reason to relocate.”
Her eyes widened. “You’d quit your job?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“But Kendra says it’s a great guest ranch and you like it there. She said your boss is wonderful. He gave you time off for your trip during the busy summer season, which was very generous.”
“That’s all true.” He held her gaze and gently massaged her shoulders. “It’s the perfect job for a young, unattached guy who wants to get away from home so he can figure out what he wants. That used to be me. It’s not anymore.”
She shook her head. “You’re talking crazy. You can’t just go quitting a perfectly good job because—”
“Faith, I want to be with you. I want to give us a chance to see where this is going. I can’t do that living three hours away. I’ll find something around here. Hell, I might talk Mom into expanding this operation, putting up another barn.” He searched for a spark of hope, maybe even some excitement in her eyes.
Instead there was only anxiety. “I can’t believe this. You’re ready to rip up your whole life, even change Kendra’s life! What’s next? Are you about to tell me you’re canceling your trip, too?”
She wasn’t reacting at all the way he’d hoped, but at least they were getting everything out in the open. It might take a while for her to move past her initial shock so that she could hear what he was saying. “I’m not canceling my trip.”
“Thank God for that. You were really starting to worry me with this talk of quitting your job and doubling the size of Wild Creek’s operation.”
“I don’t have to take the trip now, though. I can postpone it until next summer.”
“What?” She stared at him. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“Nope. It makes sense. By next summer Mom will be fully recovered. Whatever job I get will be with the understanding I’m taking those two months off. Best of all, I’m sure we could work it out with Mom and Zane so you can go with me. I found this awesome silver trailer that’s a double, and if it’s still available—”
“Stop!” Her expression had gone from anxious to full-blown panic. She backed away from him, breathing hard. “Stop talking about putting it off. That was never part of the plan. You have to take that trip now.”
“No, I don’t. I realized that last night while I was lying awake trying to figure this out. Faith, I want you to go, too. You would love it. I would love having you with me.”
“I’m not going with you because you’re taking your trip this summer. You’ve been planning this for years. And now, just because I wanted to find out what sex was like—”
“Not sex. Making love.”
“I don’t care what you call it, you’re not giving up your dream because of it or because of me! I’d never forgive myself.”
“But can’t you see?” He took a step toward her, hand outstretched. “This is what I want to do, what I choose to do, and if you’ll allow yourself ti
me to think about it, you’ll know it’s right.”
“It’s not right.” She was shaking. “If I had known that asking you for this favor would make you consider giving up your dream…” She gulped. “I never would have asked.”
Pain sliced through him. “You regret what we’ve had?”
“You bet I do.”
“Please don’t say that.” All that joy, down the drain? He couldn’t stand it. “We’ve been good for each other. I know we have.”
“Have we? Before I came along, you were totally focused on this quest. You should hear how Kendra talks about you, how proud she is of your dedication. I will not be the reason you give up on something so precious. You need to leave. The sooner, the better!” Turning, she ran out of the barn.
When she came back a second later, his heart filled with hope. He started toward her, ready to scoop her up in his arms if she gave the slightest indication she regretted her hasty exit. He was a romantic, after all.
But she didn’t move in his direction, which was a bad sign. She gulped for air. “I still want you to take Bert.” Then she turned around and left.
He had no idea how long he stood waiting, praying she’d come back again, ready to talk some more. Even if they only discussed the logistics of him picking up the horse, it would be something to build on. But she didn’t come back. Gradually hope drained away and pain flowed in to take its place. He ached all over, as if he had the flu.
If Winston, the barn’s most talkative horse, hadn’t let out a shrill whinny, no telling when he would have returned to his chore and delivered the last few hay flakes. Winston’s bugle call reminded him that regardless of human drama, the animals had to be fed.
Oh, and he had an appointment to look at a trailer. He was going to be late, so he’d text the guy. But if the trailer was halfway decent, he’d buy it. Might as well.
* * *
The trailer turned out to be in good shape and the price wasn’t bad. It was green instead of silver and wouldn’t go with the truck very well. Cody didn’t care anymore. He paid for it and left it with the guy so he could stop by the grocery store and pick up the non-perishables he’d need for the trip.
He wasn’t in any hurry to get back to the ranch, so he consulted the list of supplies he carried in his wallet to see what else he was missing. Not much.
A few more small camping items, a trip to the department store for extra briefs and socks, and he was done. After grabbing a burger for lunch, he put air in the tires and bought several cans of oil at George’s Garage. If he did laundry tonight, he’d be ready to leave whenever he wanted.
Yeah, well, he didn’t want to leave. Once he drove away, that would be it. On the other hand, staying at the ranch with nothing much to do except work around the barn was a bad idea. He’d run into Faith all the time. Or was that a good idea? Maybe if he stayed long enough, she’d come to her senses.
Rolling that thought around in his mind, he picked up the trailer and headed back to the ranch. It was only mid-afternoon, so he was surprised to see Faith’s antique Ford on the road headed back to town. Maybe she was running an errand for his mom.
The speed limit was thirty-five on this stretch, so he could see her clearly as they approached each other. Just glimpsing her through a windshield made his heart thud painfully. He lifted a finger off the wheel in the time-honored way cowhands greeted each other on the road. She didn’t respond in kind, although she looked at him. Then she glanced at the trailer he was towing as she passed by.
He watched in his rearview mirror, willing her to make a U-turn. There wasn’t much traffic and she could do it easy enough. But she didn’t. Did she really wish he’d never made love to her? Or had she said that to emphasize her point?
Smacking the steering wheel with his fist, he allowed himself to cuss for a while. The hell of it was he couldn’t talk to anyone about the situation. Neither could she. They were each caught in their own private hell.
He needed to get it together before he saw his mom, but he wondered if he’d be able to fool her. He’d never been able to before, and he was more upset now than he’d been in a long time. On the other hand, he’d be pulling in towing a new-to-him horse trailer. Maybe that would distract her.
She was sitting on the porch with Deidre when he drove up. That would help. It wasn’t uncommon for Deidre to stop by during the day if she happened to be in the neighborhood. His mom’s other friends had jobs that kept them glued to a desk, but Deidre was free to roam.
He could guess why she’d come today. She and his mom were likely doing a post mortem on the party. They might be discussing Jim, but they also might be speculating as to why he’d been so eager to take Faith home, especially considering her spectacular makeover.
Instead of parking in his usual spot, he pulled across in front of the walkway so they could get a good look at his rig without having to go so far. His mom made her way down the steps. Deidre stayed close but made no attempt to help.
His mom smiled as she hobbled toward him. “So you finally made a decision.”
“It was a good deal.”
“I know nothing about horse trailers,” Deidre said, “but it sure is green.”
“Are you going to leave it that color?” His mom gazed at him. “You were being so picky about your choice that I expected you to get one that went with your truck.”
He shrugged. “Maybe if I keep it I’ll repaint it. It’ll do the job for now.” He ignored the look his mom was giving him. Settling for something that didn’t look right wasn’t his usual style. But a nice paint job would take several days. If he’d still been stalling because of Faith, that would have been fine.
“By the way, Faith gave me a message for you before she went home.”
Damn, even hearing her name jacked up his pulse rate. “She went home?”
“She needed to,” Deidre said. “That headache she had last night must have meant she was coming down with something. She looked terrible.”
“She did, poor thing.” His mom shook her head. “Like she’d been run over by a truck. I told her to get some rest. We can manage without her if she needs to take a couple of days off.”
“I’m sorry to hear she’s under the weather.” He doubted she had a bug but he hated that she felt so bad about the breakup that she’d had to make an excuse to his mom. “What was the message?”
“She was convinced you’d buy a trailer today. Don’t know why she thought so since you’ve looked at so many without buying one. But she said if you bought a trailer, you could come over and get Bert.”
She must really want him gone. “But she’s sick. I shouldn’t bother her when she’s not feeling good.”
“Jim will be there. He can help you load Bert.”
“Oh. I suppose he could.” Faith had set it up so she wouldn’t have to be a part of it. Here he’d looked forward to fetching Bert because it would give him one more chance to talk with her. She’d nipped that in the bud. Time to get out of town. “Did she say what time she wanted me to come by?”
“Whenever it’s convenient.”
Cody glanced at his mom. “We don’t have a spare stall. Wouldn’t it be better if I got him on my way out of town?”
She gave him a soft smile. “Forgive me for being sentimental, but I want you to leave from here.”
“You do?”
“This day has been a long time coming and I want to take a few pictures and wave goodbye knowing you’re heading out, not simply driving over to Faith and Jim’s house. We can double up a couple of our horses and make room for Bert. Besides, this way you can test out your trailer.”
“That’s a good point.” Faith had been right. His mother was excited about his journey, more than he was at the moment. He didn’t want to disappoint her, either. “But I hate to just show up over there. I should alert Jim. I don’t have his number.”
“I do.” Deidre pulled out her phone.
“Uh, great.” Cody took his from his pocket and entered the info
Deidre reeled off. “Thanks.”
“Tell him I said hello.”
“I will.” He moved away from his mom and Deidre before calling Jim.
When Jim answered, he sounded subdued. “Hey, Cody. Let me step out on the porch.”
Cody grew alarmed. “Is Faith okay?” Maybe she was sick, after all.
“She claims to have caught some nasty bug, but I’ve nursed that girl through quite a few bouts of flu and I don’t think that’s the problem.”
“What do you think it is?”
“She’s upset because I showed an interest in Deidre. She thinks her world is going haywire and it’s got her down. Cody, I swear to God I’ve stayed away from women all this time because I was afraid it would create a problem for her. But when she became friends with you, I thought…well, never mind what I thought. I just don’t know what to do now.”
If Cody wasn’t mistaken, Jim was asking him for advice. He had none to give, but he couldn’t make himself say that and leave the poor guy with nothing. “It’s a tricky situation.”
“You’re telling me.”
“By the way, I got your number from Deidre. She says hello.”
“Say hello for me.”
“I will. Listen, Jim, would now be a good time for me to come and get Bert? I finally bought a trailer.”
“Sure, come on over. Do you have time for a beer?”
“Why not?” If he was cut off from Faith, he might as well make friends with her dad.
Chapter Eighteen
Barricaded in her room, Faith paced the floor and debated why doing the right thing had to be so awful. She had a knot in her stomach the size of a basketball.
When her dad’s phone rang downstairs, she knew it had to be Cody asking about coming to get Bert. She’d set that up before leaving the ranch. After that she’d seen his trailer with her own eyes, so she’d been expecting him to respond to her message.
He would be coming here any time now. She’d know when he loaded up Bert because she could see the barn from her bedroom window, the same one where she’d stood naked that first night they’d had sex. No, the night they’d first made love. Remembering what they’d shared, she knew the truth—they’d made love every single time.
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