Despite the fiery passion that ran unabated, they enjoyed all of their hours together. Day or night, George longed to be with her. His heart leapt each time he saw her face. He left his room after bathing and eating breakfast with a sensation of emptiness inside, though she had only been gone from his side for six hours or less, and felt whole when she was close.
For a week, they spoke of nothing related to their emotions or the future. George knew he was falling profoundly in love with her and was confident that she was with him. How could she not? What they shared was magical. He tried not to compare his feelings for Ruby with Sarah, but it was inevitable, and although he believed his love for Sarah genuine, it had never included such raw passion. Nor, as became clearer with each passing day, the depth of possessiveness and tenderness. Ruby was precious to him, a jewel he wanted to treasure forever. She held a part of his soul, just as the poets and Scriptures proclaim. It was no longer enough to bring her pleasure with his body alone. He wanted to touch the innermost part of her and give her pleasure in every way imaginable.
On their eighth night together, he made love to her with his mouth, fingers, hands—driving her to heights of rapture again and again until she was limp. Only then did he pull her into his embrace, her back against his chest as he entered her, moving slowly and caressing reverently, murmuring into her ear of his appreciation for her beauty and giving heart, expressing his love for her without saying the words, and waiting patiently until she again roused so that together they could obtain blissful release.
It was phenomenal, by far the most amazing time between them yet and exceeding any of George’s previous relations by miles. He held her in his arms but was lost in a daze of satisfaction in mind and body so utterly that he did not immediately realize that her shivers and trembles were other than the aftermath of her climax.
“Ruby, love? Are you crying?”
She did not answer immediately. Then she shook her head before whispering, “It is nothing. I am a silly female at times.” She removed his fingers from her cheeks and kissed the tips that were moist from her tears.
“A silly female that weeps from amazement at the astounding feats of her incredible lover,” he teased, pausing to hear a laugh that did not come. “Or are they tears of another sort?”
“I am fine, truly. Merely tired and a bit overwhelmed. It has been an eventful week with scant sleep.”
Her words made sense, but George heard the shakiness in her voice and felt the tenseness of her body. Furthermore, it troubled him that she had not countered his arrogant jest with a jab of her own. He kissed her shoulder and nestled his head into the soft bend of her neck, waiting to gather his thoughts and allow her to relax.
“I am sorry, love,” he began in a tender tone. “I have been selfish in my desire for you. Too demanding and not considering your needs.”
“My needs are to be with you, George, so please do not apologize. I know my mind and would stay away if I wanted or needed to. You demand nothing that I am not willing, happily willing, to give.”
He smiled at the force in her voice, the slight irritation that conveyed her strength of character. “Yes, you are a woman who controls her destiny. I admire that about you. It is one of the many traits you possess that excites me so.” He kissed her shoulder again. “Your self-assurance is a rarity for women in our world, sadly. Men are threatened by a woman who shows initiative and speaks her mind, more the pity. I think it is highly appealing.”
He thought his praise would reassure and please her. He meant every word and wanted her to be confident of his respect before he revealed his hope to also be her protector and provider. She was brave and independent, that was without a doubt, but she was also a woman in a culture that men ruled. He wondered if she had momentarily forgotten that in her fierce drive to be in charge. He did not care how many other lovers she had taken before him—well, maybe he cared a little—but whether she ever returned the love he felt for her or not, his love birthed a concern for her well-being that could not be ignored. Seconds later, as he felt fresh shakes that she tried to suppress, he knew it was time to talk seriously about what was happening between them.
“Ruby, I want you to know that you can share your thoughts with me freely. Whatever force of nature initially brought us together, I now care for you deeply and will be here for you. I want to be here for you whether there are… consequences from our actions or not.” He paused but she said nothing. In fact, she was still and slightly stiff in his arms. “Ruby? Talk to me, please.”
“You owe me nothing, George, and there will be no ‘consequences.’”
“I am not saying this because I think I owe you anything, and how can you be so sure of… the rest? We could have made a child, Ruby, and I will not turn my back on you or our baby! I would not—”
“There will not be a baby because I cannot have one.” Her tone was flat, the sentence hanging in the air as a stunned George watched her leave his bed. She wrapped her body with the thin coverlet folded at the end of the bed and walked toward the window, her back to him. He was too shocked to speak, but she answered the questions racing through his dulled brain in a running narrative devoid of emotion, as if she were reading from a script about some other woman.
“When I was sixteen, I fancied myself in love. He was a viscount that my father was entertaining at our manor. Even then, I liked men and knew the powers of seduction I was blessed with—or cursed, depending on the point of view. But I was innocent and had little understanding of men’s motives. I gave myself to him joyfully, numerous times, assured that he planned to marry me and was, so he told me, engaged in a discussion with my father about the dowry and so on. It was a lie, of course. He left, and afterward I discovered I was with child. I was terrified and hid it from my father. With the help of a servant, I sought the services of an abortionist. It worked, but I suffered complications, ones that I could not hide from my father. A surgeon saved my life but said I could never conceive.”
“He could have been wrong—”
“No, he wasn’t!” She glanced at him over her shoulder, pain etched onto her face along with bottomless sadness and traces of guilt. It tore at his heart. She looked away and hastily resumed her dry explanation. “You knew you were not my first, George. Nor are you my second.” She shrugged. “I like men. I always have. Why play the part of the virtuous girl when I am a woman with strong desires who has no fear of the consequences, as you eloquently put it? Besides, no man will want a wife who cannot give him an heir.”
“That is not true!” George burst out, sitting up in the bed.
“Isn’t it?” She turned toward him, her countenance angry and bitter. “All men want from a woman is her body for pleasure and the babies she alone can create! Tell me that isn’t so. They are not concerned about her heart.”
“I am,” he vehemently disagreed.
Her expression softened. “You are a dear man and may be an exception. But would you want me if the price was never having a child?”
The question stretched between them. She was gazing at him with such a mixture of emotions that he could not decipher them all. George was at a loss for words. Her revelation had rocked him to the core. Of course he wanted children! Admittedly, he hadn’t given it a great deal of thought, but he knew it was a future he craved. He was a physician and aware that there were never guarantees that one’s mate would not be barren or that he might not be capable of siring children for that matter. As far as he knew, none of his partners had conceived, although usually he was careful to prevent that. With Ruby, he had not once considered using protection. Had he somehow known she was unable to bear children? Or had he been reckless because he believed their relationship was special, the idea of her becoming pregnant not frightening him?
Before he could form a coherent reply, she visibly shook herself. Dropping the coverlet, she returned to the bed with a smile on her face that was almost normal. S
he sat next to him, sliding one silky leg over his thigh and cupping his face with her hands. “Let us not quarrel, love. I am happy with us as we are now. You are very dear to me, George. More than I ever thought possible or anticipated when I so outrageously flirted with you across the dining room. Can we not put these matters aside for now and simply enjoy each other?”
She did not wait for an answer. Covering his mouth with hers, she commenced a lazy exploration with nibbles and sweeps of her tongue. Pushing him backward onto the mattress, she lay partially draped over his body, one hand snaking down his chest and abdomen until between his legs, where she then teased him with leisurely caresses. His reaction was instantaneous, flames of sensation scorching all thought from his mind, including the amazement at how she could so swiftly arouse him with a touch after their stupendous interlude less than an hour ago. Deepening the kiss and increasing the pressure of her strokes flittered that out of his brain, George groaning and shivering with delight.
Minutes of intense kissing passed, Ruby finally leaving his mouth and traveling to plant wet kisses to his neck, down the firm planes of his chest and abdomen, dipping her tongue into his navel, and then with an arch glance at his drugged face, taking his hardness into her mouth.
“Oh God!” he cried, bucking and arching his spine, flashes of exquisite fire burning every nerve ending in his body. She had never done this to him before, few women had, and it was unbelievable ecstasy. He writhed and whimpered, alternating watching her and closing his eyes as the pleasure overwhelmed him. She knew precisely how to drive him to the brink of a violent eruption and then lighten her touch just enough to give him a slim chance to regain his breath before renewing her assault so that he spiraled higher. It was glorious! Intimate in a way that he had never imagined. To be completely within her power, unable to halt her—not that he wanted to—or control the situation in any way was liberating and acutely erotic. He now knew exactly how she felt when he did the same, dominating and teasing until she begged for the release he denied her, until he sensed she had soared as far into the heavens as possible.
“Ruby! Please! Come here!” He reached for her, needing her, but she ignored him. Instead, she licked, sucked, and stroked. Using every part of her mouth, hands, even her hair and face, to drive him insane.
“Let go, George,” she commanded.
And he did. He could not hold back any longer. To say it was stupendous would have been a gross understatement. He was lost, utterly lost, his body convulsing with pleasure and heart bursting with love. Only the fact that he used all the air in his lungs to emit a guttural shout of ecstasy prevented him from shouting out I love you! The words were there, on the tip of the tongue that he was unable to command for the present, waiting to be uttered once he caught his breath, no matter that he was unsure whether she wanted to hear them or could return the sentiment.
But before he could inhale around the gasps, she moved. Quickly, she shifted, straddling his hips and impaling herself onto his manhood while yet hard. Giving him no time to soften, she rode him frantically, her eyes half-lidded and gazing at him. George’s eyes widened. He knew that look! He had seen it often enough from Anne when looking at his brother James. Never in the throes of passion, of course, but it was the same shine of love as he had seen countless times, taunting them for being such lovesick fools to which James would laugh and nod his head while Anne blushed. Ruby stared at him that way now, only multiplied a hundredfold as she reached her peak, her hands pressed flat onto his chest and lower body rising and falling in a harsh, rapid rhythm, somehow keeping her eyes open through it all, so that he could see how great the joy she attained with him. It was almost enough to bring on another orgasm, but thanks to her skill at lovemaking, that was physically impossible. His heart twined with hers though, and he drew her into his embrace, squeezing with all his strength.
“I love you, Ruby,” he whispered several minutes later, saying it a dozen times interspersed with tender kisses to her forehead. It was on the tenth, or maybe twentieth declaration that he realized she was asleep. He did not know if she had heard him, but it did not matter. He smiled, happier than he had ever been, and joined her in bliss-filled slumber.
***
“Stop tickling me and listen!”
“I can’t resist. When you laugh, your breasts bounce deliciously. It is far too enticing and distracting, even with this riveting topic.”
It had been three nights of incredible bliss since Ruby confessed her past to George, his love for her increasing. Tonight they were relaxing and playing on the large bed, having made love on the balcony under the bluish light of the moon. A tray of fruits and nuts sat on the mattress, the intended erotic play of feeding each other bites turning silly when pieces of banana accidentally matted in her long hair. Hence the instruction she was attempting to impart.
“I shall cover them up if you do not pay attention.” Ruby crossed her arms over her chest and frowned sternly until George folded his hands behind his back and leaned against the propped pillows. “Much better. Now, what I was trying to demonstrate before you rudely interrupted is how important it is to hold the hair tight within your fingers as you twist the strands in the proper order, alternating each portion in the exact sequence; otherwise, you will have a loose braid that will not hold for any length of time.”
“That would be unacceptable, of course.”
“Indeed it would. And do not mock me!”
“Would I do that?”
His wide-eyed expression of innocence sent her into gales of laughter, George grinning at the spectacle of her breasts bouncing.
“You are incorrigible,” she declared between giggles.
“I am, I truly am. I am also irresistible though, aren’t I? Go ahead, admit it. You know I am.”
“I admit nothing of the sort! You are conceited enough without me adding fuel to the fire.” She pursed her lips and did her best to feign severity. “Do you want to learn how to braid hair or not?”
“I would rather kiss you and feed you more of these cherries, if you must know.”
“You did ask,” she accused.
“I have changed my mind. You did say I was incorrigible and I did not deny it. Come here and I shall show you just how incorrigible I can be. I can suck the banana from your hair, and if some lands on your breast, I shall attend to that as well.” He broadened his grin and wiggled his brows.
“Absolutely not—oomph!”
He tackled her, tickling the sensitive area underneath her ribs as he tossed her onto the bed underneath him. Ruby shrieked and laughed until tears sprung in her eyes. George silenced her with his mouth, the kiss short but thorough.
“You are adorable when you try to be angry.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “I love you, Lady Ruby.” He kissed her cheek and on down her neck, waiting and hoping for her to repeat the words, but as always she remained silent. George told her he loved her several times a day, whispering it slyly when they were in public and crying it at the moment of culmination while making love. She had yet to say the words in return. It distressed him, especially when her eyes and touch conveyed the depth of her emotions. He knew she loved him! Somehow he had to make her realize that he wanted her now as well as forever and if that meant not having children, so be it.
He drew back, leaning on one elbow so he could look into her eyes. She was smiling up at him, love and happiness making her flawless features glow warmly, enhancing her beauty. For a moment George lost himself in contemplating her face, awe rendering him breathless. Slowly, he caressed her cheek with his knuckles, his voice tender but serious.
“You shared something personal with me, Ruby, and I know it was not easy nor an event you would reveal to anyone other than someone you trusted. I promise I will never betray your confidence in me. You know that, don’t you?” She nodded. “Good. It is important to me that we have no secrets between us, at least nothing of deep significance
. I am moved that you shared with me, but it also brought on a measure of guilt.”
“George, there is no reason—” she began but he pressed his fingertips to her lips.
“Guilt because I too have a secret that I rarely share. I need to tell you about Alex.”
For a half hour, she said nothing, listening in silence as George told her about his twin. By the time he had finished recounting select tales from their youth, Alex’s death, and the subsequent years of feeling a yawning emptiness, Ruby was weeping soundlessly.
“Do not cry, love. I wanted to tell you about Alex not only because he is an important part of my life that I have no wish to keep hidden from you, but also because you need to know that the void within me that I have been unable to get rid of or fill with something else is smaller now. It started shrinking when I became a physician. Medicine is a passion for me and the joy of it pushes away a portion of the darkness. You illuminate the remaining shadows, Ruby. I love you.” He leaned forward and kissed her, long and hard, expressing with his mouth the depth of meaning to his words.
Ruby wrapped her arms around him, clenching so that it almost hurt. She responded to the penetrating kiss with a desperate fervor, her body shaking and muffled whines catching in her throat. George broke the kiss, but she spoke first, her tone anguished and laced with sobs.
“Oh, George! Why do you have to be so wonderful? Why could I have not met you before? Life is so unfair!”
“No, life is fair. Do you not see?” He cupped her face, brushing away the moisture and kissing the tears off her thick lashes. “All we have been through already prepares us for what we have together. I admit that I have always imagined having children some day. But never have I wanted that without first being with a woman I can give my heart to. A woman who will complete my soul as even Alex never did. Nothing else matters Ruby. Nothing!”
The Passions of Dr. Darcy Page 14