by Steve Nubie
Library e-Book : 978-1-5384-7302-3
Trade e-Book : 978-1-5384-7303-0
This digital document has been produced by Nord Compo.
CAST
ANNOUNCER:
NARRATOR:
Malcolm McDowell
DETECTIVE BROWN:
A Detective with the County Sheriff’s Department. Late 40’s to mid 50’s. No nonsense and responsible for solving some recent crimes motivated by a curious set of behaviors.
ANGELA:
A Crime Lab technician who helps Detective Brown with his investigation. Late 20’s to early 30’s. Professional.
BRADLEY:
Man. Cop. Mid 40’s. Voice differentiated from other men in the cast.
PROFESSOR HANSEN:
60’s. Man. Intelligent. Somewhat dispassionate.
COP:
Another County Cop. Late 30’s.
SHERIFF:
The County Sheriff. Gruff. Late 50’s to early 60’s.
MAN:
Mid 50’s. Monotone.
WOMAN 1:
Mid 30’s. Monotone.
WOMAN 2:
Mid 50’s. Librarian type but monotone. Voice differentiated from other monotone woman.
COP 3:
Mid 30’s. Woman.
OPEN
MUSIC:
FANGORIA THEME
ANNDR:
You can run but you can’t hide. It’s far too late for that. Welcome to the dark side, where the night never ends - as Fangoria presents: Dreadtime Stories. With your host, Malcolm McDowell. Tonight’s Dreadtime Story: “A Fungus Among Us” by Steve Nubie
PROLOGUE
MUSIC:
MYSTERIOUS, ETHEREAL MUSIC IN:
MALCOLM:
Millions of years ago, the planet earth was a simple globe of rock surrounded by green seas.
Life as we know it was a suggestion. But at a certain point, along the shores of ancient oceans, waves upon the beach allowed a new form of life to emerge from the warm, green water. A simple fungus that would spread across the planet and create a soft, carpet of mold across the continents. As the first occupants of terra firma they would reluctantly surrender their domain to plants, insects and animals. But their surrender was not without a price. It’s a debt about to be repaid with great interest by all of the animals on earth… including you.
ACT I
MUSIC:
CORPORATE MUZAK.
SFX:
AMBIANCE OF A BANK LOBBY. SMALL MURMUR OF PEOPLE IN THE LOBBY.
TELLER:
Hello Sir. Hello, ma’am. How can we help you today?
MAN 1:
(MONOTONE/FLAT) Money. We want the money.
TELLER:
Yes sir. Now, do you have a checking or savings account with us?
WOMAN;
(MONOTONE/FLAT) We have to get the money and bring it to him.
TELLER:
Right. Now, if you could show me some I-D, I’d be happy to look up your account.
SFX:
COCK OF GLOCK HANDGUN
MAN:
The money. You must give us the money.
TELLER:
Okay sir! Please don’t shoot! You can have the money. It’s our policy. No resistance. Here, here…and here. That’s all I have! It’s everything in my drawer… unless you want the coins too…?!
WOMAN:
He wants all the money.
TELLER:
Fine. That’s fine. Here… here’s all the coins in a bag!
SFX:
COINS GOING INTO BAG
TELLER:
It’s heavy but… well. That’s all the money…!
WOMAN:
He wants the…. ohhhh. MOANS AND EXHALES LOUDLY
SFX:
BODY FALLING TO GROUND AND COINS FALLING TO FLOOR.
TELLER:
Oh my God! SCREAM
SFX:
CROSS FADE SCREAM TO POLICE SIRENS/POLICE RADIO TRAFFIC/“Two-Eleven in progress, all units handle code 3.” EFX CROSS FADE TO: FOOTSTEPS ON MARBLE FLOOR AND STOP.
BROWN:
So what do we have here?
COP:
White female. Mid 30’s. Dead. Had a male partner. White male. Mid 50’s. Told the teller to give them the money and the guy pulled a gun. Teller gave them the money. Then the woman just collapsed and died.
The guy walked out the front door and down the street.
BROWN:
Down the street? You mean he didn’t have a getaway car? He just walked down the street?
COP:
That’s what we’re hearing. He might have had another accomplice but the reports we have so far is he just walked down the street.
BROWN.
Let me get this straight. A guy walks into a bank.
He’s slurring and stupid, and talks like an idiot. He then walks out of the bank with a few thou in one hand and a gun in the other…. And no one knows where he is? C’mon! Computer Aided Dispatch? Geographic Information Systems? Closed Circuit TV on every lightpole in the city and we lost him?
COP:
He wasn’t exhibiting the usual behavior. He wasn’t nervous, didn’t run and didn’t try to hide.
BROWN:
He’s walking down the street with a gun in one hand and a few thousand bucks in the other! Tell me that’s hard to miss!
COP:
We’ve got an APB on him. Armed and Dangerous. No word yet.
BROWN:
We gotta find this guy.
COP:
Yeah, well. Based on what’s coming across from dispatch, he’s not the only one.
BROWN:
Accomplices?
COP:
No. Totally unrelated to all this. Seems a guy walked into an acupuncturist’s office, walked up to the Doctor and shot him twice in the chest. Other folks in the reception area said he stumbled out, dropped the gun on the floor and simply walked down the street.
BROWN:
Well at least he dropped the gun. What do we got here? Crystal Meth? Downers? Drunks? We haven’t seen this level of violent crime around here since the 30’s.
COP:
Yeah, well it gets better. Got an arson at a warehouse down on 6th Street. Same M-O. A woman stumbles in. Mumbles. Starts pouring gas all over the place and lights a match. She walked out in flames and didn’t even blink. I hear she’s still burning in the middle of a street.
BROWN:
What about this one on the floor? Any I-D?
COP:
Yeah. Been living in the community all her life. No arrests. No Convictions. Not even a traffic ticket.
Single mom. 2 kids. Works at a local hardware store. It doesn’t make any sense.
BROWN:
Yeah, well. Looks like she’s got a boyfriend. What was her condition when she walked in here?
COP:
Same. Seemed to be under the influence of something.
Slurred speech. Out of it.
MUSIC:
SHIFT TO UNIQUE MUSIC FOR THE APPEARANCE OF THE FUNGUS. THIS MUSIC WILL OMINOUSLY OCCUR EVERYTIME THE FUNGUS IS APPROACHING OR IN THE SCENE. THE IDEA IS TO CREATE A SENSE OF IMPENDING DANGER THE WAY
THE “JAWS” THEME PRECEDED THE SHARK.
SFX:
SFX OF SKULL CRACKING OPEN SLOWLY LIKE A JUICY MELON.
COP:
What the…?!
SFX:
CRACKING AND SLITHERING SFX CONTINUES
MUSIC:
FUNGUS MUSIC INCREASES IN TEMPO
BROWN:
Okay, everyone back. She must have fractured her skull.
COP:
It’s splitting open!
BROWN:
Must be a massive hemorrhage.
SFX:
CRACKING AND
SPLITTING GROWS LOUDER.
MUSIC:
MUSIC INCREASES IN TEMPO AND VOLUME
COP:
Get outta here! What the hell is that coming out of her skull?!
BROWN:
Okay! Everyone back! Back off! Stand back!
COP:
It’s growing. It looks like a snake!
BROWN:
What the… this doesn’t make any sense. What is that thing?
MUSIC:
MUSIC AND SFXS DIMINISH. SILENCE EXCEPT FOR A FEW GASPS AND MURMURS. FUNGUS MUSIC RETURNS
BROWN:
I think it stopped. Wait. There’s a bulge growing in the middle of the thing. Everyone back! Back!!
SFX:
STRETCHING SFX LIKE A BALLOON WITH SOME CRACKLING AND SLOWLY STOP.
COP:
Is it over? Did it stop growing?!
BROWN:
…you tell me.
MALCOLM:
Ha, ha, ha. We could all tell him something couldn’t we? But then what would our Detective friend have left to detect? There’s something very strange happening here and it’s about to become a bit more ominous. But you have nothing to fear. Just sit back, breathe deep, and if you notice a slight ringing in your ears, an itch under your scalp, and an urge to sneeze - have no worries. For this is only the beginning of your… Dreadtime story.
SFX:
POLICE PRECINCT. PHONES RINGING. CHATTER.
SHERIFF:
Alright. Everyone listen up. Quiet! Quiet! …okay. I’ve called all officers in including off- duty and my apologies to those of you on vacation.
GROUP:
GRUMBLES
SHERIFF:
We have a situation people. To date. Nine people have died suddenly after exhibiting unusual if not peculiar behavior. They all appear to be under the influence of some controlled substance. Mumbling, stumbling and talking like they just learned how to speak English. They behave in a sociopathic manner. Rob, kill and commit crimes indiscriminately and without fear. And then they die…. Of note is a curious anomaly. After they die their heads crack open and a long tubular growth about 5 feet in length and about 2 inches thick emerges from their brains.
GROUP:
GASPS. DISBELIEF. SOME LAUGHTER.
SHERIFF:
Believe me, if you see this, some of you won’t be laughing. After this thing stops growing it balloons out towards the top into something about the size of a grapefruit. We’ve contacted the center for disease control and we’re expecting the CDC here later this evening. In the meantime, we’ve got killers on the street. Any questions?
BRADLEY:
Sheriff? Who are these people? Is this gang related, a drug cartel? Or what?
SHERIFF:
Detective Brown has been on this case from the first incident. Brown? What do we know?
BROWN:
All of the individuals have no connection to any gangs, drugs or crime in any way, shape or form. They all appear to be normal folks from around the County. Moms, dads, a high school football coach, a local car salesman. They seem to have no connection to each other except for this “condition” that seems to drive them all crazy, commit violent crimes, die and then split their heads open and sprout this thing out of their skulls.
COP 3:
Does Homeland Security know about this? I mean, this sounds like terrorist stuff.
SHERIFF:
We’ve got more experts showing up in the next few days than we know what to do with. Their only advice so far is to keep the bodies quarantined in the morgue and try to identify people exhibiting strange behavior.
MAN 2:
That would include about half the County.
GROUP:
NERVOUS LAUGHTER
SHERIFF:
Look. We’re close to martial law around here with the way things are going. If someone ain’t acting right, take them into custody, in handcuffs, and lock ’em up. But don’t act alone. We hear they’re incredibly strong, afraid of nothing and kill without hesitation. And now, if we’re done with the jokes, let’s see if we can do our job and put a stop to this.
GROUP:
CHAIRS MOVING BACK, CHATTER, FOOTSTEPS LEAVING ROOM.
BROWN:
Sheriff?
SHERIFF:
What is it Brown?
BROWN:
This is Angela Decker from the crime lab. I think you oughta hear what she has to say.
SHERIFF:
Wadda ya’ got, Angela?
ANGELA:
Fungus.
SHERIFF:
Say again?
ANGELA:
Fungus. That’s what’s coming out of their heads. A fungus.
SHERIFF:
Does the CDC know this?
ANGELA:
I sent them a text the minute I figured it out. I haven’t received a reply.
SHERIFF:
What kind of fungus we talkin’ about here? It sounds like something from another planet.
ANGELA:
Actually, based on my preliminary tests, this is very much a fungus common to the planet Earth.
SHERIFF:
It doesn’t look like anything I’ve seen before.
ANGELA:
Neither have I. But there’s someone who might be able to help. Outside of town there’s a Professor from the University who’s actually somewhat of an expert on the subject.
SHERIFF:
So what are you two waiting for? Go find this guy and see if he can give us a clue until the CDC gets here.
MALCOLM:
Molds. Spores and fungus. Ancient. Primitive.
…Primordial. They’ve lived as long as life has existed on the planet. Patient. Persistent. Living under our feet and thriving somewhere between rotting detritus and stagnant pond scum. But it’s just possible their time has come.
So turn down the house lights, sit back and relax. It’s mold coming to the main stage in this…Dreadtime story.
MUSIC:
MYSTERIOUS. FUNGUS THEME AT LOW TEMPO
SFX:
CAR DRIVING OVER A BUMPY, MUDDY, WET ROAD. CAR SOUNDS
ANGELA:
Where in the world are we?
BROWN:
They’re called swamps. This part of the County is full of ’em. I guess it’s the address of choice for a guy who studies fungus.
ANGELA:
They’re called Mycologists. This part of the County has only one of them.
BROWN:
Touché… Have you contacted this guy? Does he know we’re coming?
ANGELA:
Unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to have a phone, so no. This is kind of a surprise visit.
BROWN:
Do you have the sample you collected?
ANGELA:
No. The CDC doesn’t want it to leave quarantine.
But I have the pictures from the crime scenes so I’m hoping that’s good enough.
SFX:
CAR STOPS
BROWN:
Well, this must be it.
ANGELA:
This is strange. I expected a rustic, wooden shack.
This looks like a concrete bunker.
BROWN:
Yeah. Well. To each his own. Let’s see if anybody’s home and get this over with.
SFX:
CAR DOORS OPEN/CLOSE AND WALKING. KNOCK ON METAL DOOR. DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN.
HANSEN:
You folks lost?
BROWN:
I don’t think so. I’m Detective Brown from the County Sheriff’s department. This is Angela Decker from the Crime Lab. Are you Professor Hansen?
HANSEN:
Yes. How can I help you?
BROWN:
Well. We have a bit of a situation. Angela? Do you have those photos?
ANGELA:
Yeah…here.
SFX:
RUSTLE OF ENVELOPE OPENING
BROWN:
You ever seen anything like this?
HANSEN:
&n
bsp; You can’t be serious. Are these pictures real?
BROWN:
I’m afraid so.
HANSEN:
Cordyceps. (Pronounced: Cor-duh-sepps)
BROWN:
Who?
HANSEN:
Cordyceps. It’s a Latin word. It describes a species of fungus that affects insects. Ants mostly. It’s sometimes referred to as the Zombie Fungus.
BROWN:
Oh man, we gotta talk to you. Can we come in?
HANSEN:
Sure. Watch your step. It’s a little dark inside.
SFX:
PEOPLE WALKING UP A WOODEN STEP AND ACROSS ECHOING, HARD FLOORS.
BROWN:
So uh, interesting place you got here. How do you see where you’re going?
HANSEN:
Oh, you’ll get used to the low light soon enough.