by Staci Hart
Only my panties were left. I watched him lay his palm on my stomach, slide it up and into the bend of my waist, and grip me hard. My pussy clenched with his fingers, clit aching.
“Van,” I whispered.
My legs were spread, hooked over his thighs, and he bent down, kissing my stomach, moaning softly against my skin as he made his way down. He shifted to get between my thighs, rested them on his shoulders, slid my panties over to expose me to him. His breath was hot on me, and I flexed my legs, sucking in a breath when he licked a slow line up my pussy and opened his mouth, closing it over my clit. A shock bolted up my body, hips rolling under him as he curled his arms under my thighs, palms open around my waist, pulling me down into his mouth.
He licked and sucked until I contracted against him once, twice. He pulled away, leaving me breathless.
“Please,” I begged.
His chest heaved as he grabbed my panties and pulled, shredding them with a rip and a jolt that jostled my breasts. He raised up and dropped his pants, grabbing a condom from his wallet. My eyes were on his cock as he rolled it on, then on his strong hand as he stroked himself, watching me watch him. He lowered his body, arching over me, dipping his head to meet my lips. I closed my eyes when he kissed me, pulling my bottom lip into his mouth as I sucked on his, softly, reverently. His hands were in my hair, our arms wound around each other. But as much as my body needed him, I realized then that I needed him more. I needed this. The quiet worship. To be connected.
Giving myself to him was never a question. I was always his.
He broke away, lips parted as he looked me in the eye and slid into me.
The motion was slow, easy, full of care and quiet joy. He pulled out just as sweetly, rolling his hips to fill me again, achingly slow. He dropped his head, buried it in the curve of my neck as our bodies met in waves. His weight against me was everything, the feel of him inside of me pushing me closer. It could have lasted forever.
His movement never came faster, only harder, and every flex of his hips was more intense than the one before. He laid his hot lips against my neck, propped himself on his forearms. When he broke away, he looked down at me, slipped in slow and flexed hard when he reached the end, pressing against my clit with a soft roll. I moaned and closed my eyes without meaning to as he pulled out, and I held my breath, anticipating him. When he drove into me again, my back arched, legs flexed, spurring him on. He slammed into me once more, my heart booming in my chest as he came. The sound of my name from his lips, the feeling of him pulsing inside of me was too much. I followed with a breathy cry, a soft moan, an aching body, a mended heart.
He collapsed on top of me, shifted to roll us onto our sides, pulling me into his chest for a moment as our bodies slowed.
His voice rumbled against me when he finally spoke. “Did you feel that?”
My heart ached from the emotion. “I did,” I said softly.
“I’ve never …”
“Me neither.”
His hands found their way into my hair. “This is why I couldn’t forget you. This is why I couldn’t let you go. I don’t know how to explain it, Cory. It’s more than I have words for.”
I looked up at him. “If it weren’t for you, I would never have been free. I’d never have known what it was like. You’ve given that to me. How can I ever repay you?”
“Stay.”
I smiled up at him with tears in my eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He kissed me again with reverent ownership, the slow pressure of his lips saying more than he ever could. When he pulled away, he smiled down at me, the same as it ever was, but deeper, heavy with the weight of all we’d been through to get where we were. We’d been galvanized by it, sent through the flames and out the other end stronger than we were before.
“What now?” he asked, thumbing my cheek.
“I don’t even care, as long as I’m with you.”
He bent to lay little kisses down my neck. “How about a shower.” He kissed again. “Then I’ll cook for you.” Another kiss. “And then I’m taking you to bed.” The last kiss lingered.
My fingers wound through his hair. “I am one hundred percent on board with this plan.”
“Good,” he said against my skin and sat, then knelt, scooping me up. A string of giggles bubbled out of me as he carried me to his shower.
He set me down in the center and turned on the water, and that sorcery hit me from all angles.
My eyes closed. “God, yes.”
Van slipped an arm around my waist, his face in my hair, hand on my ass. “I’m going to be the next thing that makes you say that if it kills me.”
I leaned back into him and smiled. I reached for the shampoo and poured some in my hand, lathering it between my palms. “So, what’s for dinner?”
He let me go and stepped over to grab the soap and lather up his own hands. “Something fast. I’m starving.”
“Me too. I hadn’t planned on leaving, so I haven’t eaten since lunch.” I kneaded my hair.
He smiled. “Can’t say I’m sorry. You couldn’t get there fast enough, as far as I was concerned.”
“How long were you waiting?”
“Hours. When it started raining, I realized there was a real possibility that you wouldn’t come. I was terrified that I’d waited too long to get you back, that you’d moved on.”
I stepped into the stream to rinse my hair, turning to avoid his eyes. “I don’t know if moving on was ever going to happen.”
“I know the feeling. I’d been on the fence since I’d gotten the letter, but I couldn’t wait after Erin came to talk to me.”
I dropped my hands and turned to face him. “What?”
He stopped scrubbing his arm, looking surprised. “You didn’t know?”
“No. When?”
“Yesterday. She told me what you went through to get the painting back. Told me about your sister and Jade. She told me about you, mostly things I’d already known, about who you are. And then I realized how wrong I was. I had to get you back.”
I just stared at him, stunned. “I could kill her and kiss her.”
He chuckled, but his eyes were sad as he cupped my cheek. “I’m sorry I doubted you. You tried to come clean and I shamed you for it.”
“It was exactly how I expected you to react. I betrayed you. I hurt you. I can’t believe you found it in your heart to forgive me at all.”
“How could I not when I learned the whole truth? You’re a thief and a liar. But you’re loyal and generous. You sacrificed what you wanted, and not for the first time, by what Erin said. You’re good, Cory. Even when you’re bad.”
I didn’t want to argue because I couldn’t hear him try to convince me. I didn’t want to concede because I still didn’t know if I believed it. So I kissed him. It was the only answer I could give.
He leaned back, smiling as he scrubbed his hand across his bicep, under his arm, across his chest. I just watched like an idiot until shampoo almost ran in my eye.
I tipped my head to rinse my hair the rest of the way and let the water run over my face. When I stepped out of the stream and opened my eyes, he was watching me.
I smiled and reached for the soap, lathered my hands and ran them over my arms, across my breasts, pausing to circle my nipples under the heat of his gaze. He licked his lips and rushed me, grabbed me and pressed me against the shower wall. His lips hovered over mine.
“Not yet. I want you in my bed. I’m going to take my time with you tonight.”
I nodded, the motion slight, my nose brushing the side of his. He pressed his lips to mine, hard and hot for a long moment, pulling at my bottom lip before he let me go. I was still caged in his arms.
“Wash up. I’m going to get dinner started because if I stay here with you, I’m going to fuck you until you scream.” He smiled as he backed away, watching me as I stood there with gooey knees and an arching heart. “Just grab one of my shirts from the dresser. I’ll throw your clothes in the wash. Yo
u’re not going to need them tonight.”
I WATCHED HIS PERFECT ass walk out of the shower, then out of the bathroom while I stood there, blinking. I peeled myself off the wall and wobbled back to the streams of water, taking my time finishing up with a smile all over my face. When I’d dried off, I made my way into his room and to his dresser where I assessed the drawers, not wanting to rummage. I guessed the top drawer would be underwear and the second would be shirts, and internally cheered when I was right.
I grabbed a black crew neck and pulled it on, dried off my hair a bit more before hanging the towel up. The shirt was just long enough that it barely covered my ass, the crew neck just wide enough that it hung off my shoulder. When I padded into the kitchen, I couldn’t help but smile at his wide shoulders as he put a tray of asparagus into the oven. He was shirtless, his black sweats low on his hips, the can lights casting the shadows down the muscles of his back.
“I thought you said you wanted something quick?”
He smiled as he turned to face me. “Yeah, well. It’s quicker than pizza delivery.” He dragged his eyes down my body and shook his head. “I need a drink. Want one?”
I nodded as I sat at the island. “Scotch?”
“Definitely scotch.”
He poured us drinks, taking a sip with his eyes on me before he turned to the chicken on the cutting board. “Get my mind off your body so we can get through dinner.” He picked up the garlic press and went to town on a clove, dropping it into the hot pan in front of him with a hiss.
“I’m sure you have questions for me.”
“A million.”
“Well, what would you like to know?”
He pushed the garlic around with a spatula and tossed in a stick of butter. “Tell me about your sister.”
I sighed. “Jill is … well, she’s amazing. She’s smart and beautiful. Driven. She sets her mind to something and doesn’t stop until it’s done.”
He glanced up at me. “Sounds familiar.”
I laughed. “She’s not really a risk-taker, though. She weighs everything out, makes decisions for her future.”
“What’s the deal with your parents?”
I looked down into my glass and took a sip before I began. “They just don’t care. We were an inconvenience to them. They provided the bare minimum for us financially and absolutely nothing emotionally. I spent most of my childhood alone. In my room. Playing outside. They never gave me rules, never monitored me. They just wanted me out of their faces.”
“God.”
I shrugged. “I was happy with that, though. As a kid, I was free. I could do anything, be anything. But when Jill was born, everything changed. I couldn’t just be responsible for myself, and I didn’t want to be. The first time I ever held her, I understood. I was only ten years old, and I knew I’d have to take care of her. So I did.”
“Did they ever hurt you?”
“Not physically. They were just … absent. I never needed closure — I let them go a long time ago. But Jill hasn’t. That’s what really gets to me, the fact that they hurt her. I wanted to get her away from them, and now I have.”
Van looked at me across the space and shook his head. It wasn’t pity, just sadness that I saw. I kept going.
“She was such a good baby, so smart even when she was little. You can look into some kids’ eyes and know that there’s more in their souls than the rest of us could hope for. You know that they’re special. Jill is one of those.”
“And you’d do anything for her.”
“I always have. I always will. I love her.”
He poured white wine into the pan and turned up the heat, glancing at me briefly before asking his next question. “Tell me about Jade.”
I sighed. “Jade. I don’t even know where to start with her. She was just … I don’t know.” I struggled to find the words. “I’m sure you could guess that I have very little regard for traditional ‘rules.’”
He chuckled. “Yeah, I could see that.”
“No one in school really got it. Just Jade. She’s been a spoiled fuck as long as I’ve known her. We met freshman year, and she was just so brash. Her irreverence was refreshing. It made me feel a little less alone. Like it was okay not to be like everyone else because I’d found someone so much like me. It took years for me to realize that we were more different than I’d realized.”
“She’s who you started running with, right?”
“Yeah. She saw a video on parkour and showed me. It was so badass. We started small, just running around the city, jumping on things. Over things. The stronger we got, the more we could do. I kicked her in the jaw once when she was spotting a back handspring.” I smiled at the memory.
“Done that.”
“Yeah, well, parkour’s not for pussies.”
Van laid the chicken breasts into the sauce. “You really have to want it, that’s for sure. It gets in you. There’s always that one moment.”
I nodded. “I was sixteen. I was running along a duct between buildings, and the city was solid, towering around me. My eyes were down, locked on the alley thirty feet below me, and I knew right then that I wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop. It felt too good.”
“I had climbed up a lightning rod on a building, way higher than I should have been for the skill level I was at. I was seventeen, and I hung off of that building somehow knowing I wouldn’t fall, feeling like King Kong. I’d never experienced anything like it — the rush, the power.”
“And the problem solving. You look at something and you’re like, ‘How can I get over that as creatively as possible?’”
His smile was crooked. “And with as many tricks as possible.”
“Without being a douchebag about it.”
He laughed. “You’ve got to have style. Can’t be desperate.” He flipped the chicken over and topped it with capers and tomatoes. “What all have you stolen?”
I stiffened in my seat, even though there was no accusation in his voice. “We used to hit electronics stores. Jade’s twin brother was friends with a couple of petty thieves that had more work than they could handle, so they passed off jobs to us. We’d been breaking into places for years, usually to parkour. Abandoned warehouses, that sort of thing. It was easy money, money I could use to buy things for Jill. Clothes. Toys. I could take care of her. Send her to a better school.”
“Sounds like an easy choice. What changed with you and Jade?”
“I don’t think Jade changed. But when we started running with the other girls, she was jealous, I think. Instead of dealing with it, she acted out. Talked shit. Pushed us around. It’s just that none of us cared enough to push back. We just rolled our eyes and shrugged it off. Until you.”
“How did that go down?”
I paused and looked him over. “You sure you want to know?”
He nodded. “I want to know all of it. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since you told me.”
“All right.” I drained my drink and set it down. He poured me another as I started. “When you had me run the delivery here that day, I recognized the Rothko, and when I left here, I was freaked out and pissed. I was talking to Erin about it when I got home, and Jade overheard. She told me to steal it, and I agreed to it, at first.”
He flinched.
“I didn’t want to do it, but she threatened me from the start. At first, she said she’d tell Jill I was a thief. She didn’t know, she couldn’t know. And I didn’t know you, just knew I was attracted to you. So I came to the gallery that day to ask you out because I had to. I left the gallery wanting to see you again. And when I came here that night, I decided I wouldn’t steal it. I went home the next day ready to tell Jade to fuck off. She told me she’d kill Jill before she beat me unconscious.”
A shadow passed across his face, and his lips turned down, brow heavy and eyes dark. I kept talking.
“I had to leave you because I couldn’t pretend. I couldn’t lie to you. I knew you weren’t going to let me go that easy, though, not as
intense as we’d been. But I didn’t want to leave. I just didn’t know any other way to go about it.”
“How bad did she hurt you?” His voice was low, nearly a growl.
“I had a concussion, but I was okay otherwise.”
He didn’t look convinced.
“It’s not the worst fight we’d had.” I shook my head. “Jade said she’d kill Jill. There was no way out of the job. Morgan tried to push back, but when we found out that Jade was having Jill followed, that was it. We all backed off.”
“What happened that night?”
I took a heavy breath and met his eyes. “I watched Jade stand right there and take the Rothko off the wall, wishing I was dead. We made the drop, and the fences double-crossed us, gave us a fraction of the money they promised Jade and Jace. Jade had a gun to her head twice that night. Once from the fences. Once from me.”
His eyes widened a hair.
“You can’t move life backward. You can’t undo what’s been done. Pulling the trigger wouldn’t have changed anything except me.” I took a drink to wash the ache in my chest away. It didn’t work. I set the glass down and spun it around. “The next day, the girls talked me into stealing the painting back. Bust the warehouse and the guys that fucked us over. But I didn’t care about them. I just wanted to tell you the truth. Return what I’d stolen. The property, at least. I didn’t ever believe what I’d done could be repaired, but I wanted you to know all the same.”
“You knew what I would say, but you did what you thought was right anyway.”
I nodded. “You told me once that you didn’t think it was hard to do the right thing.”
Van’s eyes were dark. “I was wrong.”
I looked down at my drink, shook my head. “Not wrong. It’s just more complicated than that.”
He walked around the island and spun my chair so I faced him, dropped down to rest on the balls of his feet. His hands found the bend in my waist. “That’s what I’ve learned from all this, Cory. Sometimes there is no right or wrong. Sometimes it’s all wrong, and the best you can do is to decide just how bad it’s going to be. I can’t judge you for your choices because I can’t say I would have chosen differently if I were you.”