“Do not feel bad at all. I rarely have so much call for it. I am glad that I will be driving you for a while.” Raelya gave me a considering look. “In fact, I would be happy to teach you.”
I smiled, leaning back in the seat. “Wouldn’t that defeat the purpose? Then I wouldn’t need you to drive me anymore.”
Raelya nodded gravely. “Yes, there is that. But it would be good for you to know how. And you could always be sweet and let me drive you when we are together, yes?”
I laughed softly. “Yes. And that’d be great.”
Raelya smiled. “Some time soon then, eh?”
I nodded. “That sounds good.”
Raelya and I chatted about driving, cars, flying, planes, and her interest in older aeronautical mechanics for the remainder of the drive to my Knoxville apartment. Raelya pulled us into the apartment’s small parking lot and turned off the truck. As she started to get out, I put a hand on her arm to stop her. “Hey, wait.”
Raelya glanced up at me, tilting her head curiously, and I realized I recognized the motion as a simple askance. Without the mental blocks keeping my wolf away, I was beginning to find I understood wolfish body language fairly naturally.
“I forgot I need boxes and stuff. Would you go pick some up from Walmart before we get started?” I pulled out my wallet and started counting out bills.
Raelya tilted her head. “Of course, but you do not want to come with me?”
I smiled at her. “I have a couple things I’d rather clean up alone before someone helps me pack up if that’s okay. Won’t take long, but you can grab the boxes and maybe get us a pizza if that sounds good?”
Raelya smiled. “Ah, of course. What kind of pizza do you like?”
I shrugged. “Not picky. I bet I’ll eat anything you’d eat anyway.”
Raelya grinned. “Is that a challenge?”
I laughed. “Do your worst, pizza-wolf.”
Raelya laughed and I offered her the bills. Raelya shook her head. “This is too much.”
I shrugged. “I’d rather be sure you have enough.”
“I do have money of my own, you know.”
“Sure, but you’re doing this for me, so I wanna cover it.”
Raelya took the bills and gripped my hand as she did. “Stop worrying about it all so much, Dakota. We are pack now. We are family. You do not have to cover every little thing, or treat every favor as if you are a burden.”
“I know, but I’m not used to it yet.” I admitted, squeezing her hand around the bills.
Raelya smiled, lifting her other hand to brush my hair back from my eyes. “I know. So I am going to help you get used to it.” She pulled the bills from my hand and laid them on the seat next to me.
I frowned. “But—”
“Shh! No buts. You would do the same for me. And one day you will. We are pack, Dakota. We do not worry about paying each other back. We just all do our best to help all of us. Now go inside and hide your naughty toys before I get back.”
I sputtered. “I— Wha— That’s not what I meant!”
Raelya laughed and nodded slowly. “Of course it is not.”
I glared at her playfully and put the bills back in my wallet. “Seriously, I was talking about other things.”
“Of course you were.” Raelya grinned at me then made a shooing gesture. “Do not worry, Dakota. If I were you, I would want a chance to hide my naughty toys too.”
I laughed at that as I slid out of the truck and closed the door. Raelya cranked the truck, and pulled it smoothly out of the parking space. I went on inside to hide my naughty toys.
Though that wasn’t the only reason I’d wanted to buy a moment’s solitude before the packing started.
I opened my door and stepped into the tiny loft apartment, closed the door behind me, and took a look around. So this is it.
I stood for a moment in silence and the emptiness of the place fell onto my shoulders like a heavy coat. This place had been my home for years. It had felt warm once, cozy at least, and if nothing else, it had been safe; it had been mine.
But that warmth was gone, the coziness was gone. Even the safety felt tenuous. If anything, it felt a little scary to be so far from my pack, and the thought of living alone wasn’t a thought I could cope with anymore. Even the shadow figures I’d learned to live with were gone now, lost with the blocks in my memory. They’d been a bit creepy, but even they had been a kind of company to me before. Now the apartment felt truly lonely.
But, this little apartment had been good to me. It wasn’t its fault I was moving on. So I walked around the room, trailed my fingers across the counter and the cabinets, brushed my fingers against the curtains, and said my silent goodbyes.
I smiled at the little table where my laptop had stood with the purple camo-print bean bag before it, and I ran my hand across the unmade bed where I’d slept through many a day.
I pushed the curtains aside and stared out the window, taking in my view of Knoxville. Not an awesome view, but it was my view.
As I turned away from the window, I drew in a deep breath and tried to parse the scent of the place. Every place has a scent. Even humans know this; people talk about how each house has its own smell. For werewolves, this is even truer still. I savored the little nuances of my apartment’s smell, knowing I’d remember them long after I moved.
I wanted to do this. I wanted to move out. I wanted to go live with the pack. But it was hard at the same time. It was hard to leave it all behind.
I sat down on the bean bag and leaned back, tucked my arms under my head and sighed. I laughed at the picture of Ceiling Cat I’d long ago taped to the ceiling, then glanced around at all the posters and printed-out pictures on the walls sporting images of Sherlock, Castle, Dr. Horrible, and Firefly. I smiled at the little bulletin board where I’d posted pictures of some of my heroes: Nan, Ellen Degeneres, Laverne Cox, Felicia Day, Korra. This was my geeky little haven. This was my life.
And I was ready to leave it behind.
Raelya’s footsteps and the smell of pizza announced her return before my packmate had even knocked. I had no idea how long it had been. I’d been lost in thought, eyes drifting about the room. I rolled to my feet and let out a deep breath. “Come in!” I raised my voice enough for her to hear, remembering that I wouldn’t need to shout for Raelya to hear me. But the door didn’t open; I realized Raelya likely had her hands full and rushed over to open it for her.
Raelya gave me a dry expression as I let her in. I took the pizza she was balancing on one hand and let her wrangle the stack of flat boxes she held firmly by the plastic straps around them. “Thanks! This smells great.” I took it over to my little table with only two chairs.
Raelya huffed once as she set the boxes against the wall. “Do not let Elisa hear you say that.”
We grinned at each other as she came over for pizza. We both grabbed a slice of the meat-lover’s pizza she’d chosen and chewed into it. “Mmm… It’ll be our secret.” I moaned around the slice. “Though you know, this is pretty tame. I was expecting you to try to scare me. Like with anchovies or something.”
Raelya crinkled her nose. “Ick. No, I would not ruin a perfectly good pizza just to scare you.” We both giggled a little. “So are you all ready to start packing?”
I blinked. “Uh…” I glanced around the apartment. I’d totally forgotten to actually hide the naughty toys. “Yeah. Mostly.” I swallowed and tried to look casual. “Though I decided I don’t want to pack it up entirely. Just mostly. Then if I need anything while I’m in town I can still drop by. At least until after next weekend when I’ll have time to finish moving everything and set up my new room.”
Raelya nodded. “That is reasonable.”
We ate a couple slices each, then went to work. I set Raelya to the task of opening up the boxes and folding the bottoms together as I glanced around, deciding where to start.
“You know, I have no idea what to do with the kitchen stuff. I won’t really need it now. I m
ean, it’s mostly cheap plastic crap anyway, and none of it’s sacred to me. I guess, I’ll just toss it.”
“Then you can leave it for now in case you stop in for food in the week.”
I nodded. “That’s what I was thinking.”
We broke down the logistics together and decided to pack up all the non-essentials, leave the kitchen stuff, bathroom stuff, and my bedding, and to focus instead on my personal belongings and most of my clothes for the moment.
We worked through the night, packing away my life in little marked boxes. Midnight came and went, and Amorie hadn’t called, so I assumed she was still rather busy. We were mostly finished by three in the morning. Raelya sat down and puffed. “I believe we are finished. You do not have so much.”
I nodded. “Yeah, this looks good.”
“So are you ready to load the truck and go home?”
I shook my head. “I still need to go talk to Joe. I gotta put in my notice and stuff.” I smiled at her. “So I guess we can pack up the truck and you can drive me over to work if that’s okay.”
Raelya nodded. “That will be fine. Then we will go home.”
I nodded. “Yep. Then we will go home.”
Raelya picked up a box and started down the stairs and as she did, I gave the apartment one more long look around. I stood there for a few seconds alone and said goodbye to the place that had been my home. But more than that, I said goodbye to the girl who had lived there.
4
Showing Off
Raelya drove me to the museum and parked around back. She decided to wait for me in the truck. She kicked her feet up into the seat comfortably, assuring me she’d be fine with a paperback and the radio. I hopped out and made my way to the back entrance. Joe would get an alert when I entered my access code, thus saving me the effort of hunting him down, as he’d likely come find me.
I started down the hall and headed for the locker room. Joe met me at the door with a raised eyebrow. “Heya Shepherd. The hell’re you doing here?”
“Nice to see you too, boss.” I smirked just to annoy him as I squeezed past him and headed over to the fridge. As I passed him, I noticed his scent, and it struck me how familiar his scent was. I knew it. Just like I knew his face.
“So where the hell have you been?” Joe leaned against the doorway and watched me open a bottle of water.
“Canada, mostly.” I took a drink and grabbed a chair from the break table and flipped it around, sitting down backwards in it and leaning on the back.
“Canada? So sick leave was just a cover, I take it?” Joe shoved off from the wall and came over to claim one of the other chairs.
“Nah, it was legit. I had to go to a specialist up there to, uh… to solve an old problem that’d started to really ail me again lately.”
Joe tilted his head. “You seemed healthy enough to me, Shepherd.”
I shrugged. “You can’t always see another person’s pain, Joe. I finally found someone who could help me with my head. The blackouts I used to have? I’m better now. So yeah, it was a big deal for me.”
Joe raised his eyebrows. “Woah. What, d’you go in for head surgery or something?” He looked a bit skeptical. “Pretty sure it takes a little longer to recover from stuff like that, Shep.”
I shook my head. “No, nothing like that. I guess it was more… like therapy in a sense. In the end, I figured out what the problem was myself and confronted the issues that were at the root of it all. But I had help getting there.”
Joe scoffed mildly. “And you had to go all the way to Canada for that? Just to talk to someone about your problems?”
I gave Joe my serious frown. “Mental health is a serious concern, Joe. People don’t take it seriously because they don’t understand it, but make no mistake, man. Depression kills. Anxiety is as serious a health concern as obesity, and does just as much to destroy a person’s quality of life. And getting help for these issues is every bit as important as getting a cast on a broken leg. Refusing to do so is just as crippling too.”
Joe leaned back, edging slightly away from me in a way I might not have noticed if the wolf hadn’t felt so damned satisfied at his reaction. Damnit. I hadn’t meant to stare him down like that. I was still new at this, and it was easy for me to forget that Unawakened people reacted to things like the wolf’s dominance just as surely as anyone else. They just didn’t tend to realize it.
But on the positive side of things, it also had the effect of getting people to really listen to me. Joe blinked and pursed his lips thoughtfully, then nodded slowly. “Right, yeah I see your point. I guess I never much thought of it like that. My sister’s got anxiety, you know? She’s pretty quiet when we all get together with friends, and I guess I always thought she was just… being grumpy or shy or… I dunno. I just never really thought it was like… like what you just said. Real.”
I smiled, trying to warm the seriousness back out of the air. “Hey, don’t hold it against yourself too hard, man. It’s hard to understand what you can’t even see. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. I just try to keep that in mind.”
Joe smiled at that. “I’m glad you’re back, Shepherd. It’s been boring around here for the past week.”
I grinned. “Aww, I missed you too Joe. But, uh, about that…”
Joe tilted his head and I sighed.
“I’m putting in my notice.”
Joe frowned and jolted upright. “What?”
I shrugged. “Sorry to spring it on you, but…”
Joe gave me a skeptical look. “You’re kidding.” He obviously thought I was.
I shook my head, “No, I…” I felt a little guilty. He’d just been talking about how much he’d missed me and Joe had always been a good boss, even a friend in a sense, and well, I couldn’t say I wouldn’t miss the big lug. But I couldn’t hold onto the guilty feelings for long. A smile crept onto my face as I allowed myself to adopt the smug satisfaction with which I’d been planning my big reveal. I straightened up and cracked my lips, showing teeth. “I got a new job.”
Joe eyed me uncertainly. “Oh yeah? What kinda job?”
I brushed my nails on my shirt, hamming it up. “Oh, no big deal. Just a full-time gig with a certain three-letter organization.”
Joe snorted. “FBI? Yeah, right. You told me yourself they wouldn’t take you ‘cause of your dyslexia.”
I grinned mysteriously. “Who said FBI?”
Joe pursed his lips again and eyed me. “Okay, what then?”
I leaned in, eying him seriously. “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”
Joe barked out a laugh and shook his head. “Out with it already.”
I chuckled as I straightened up from the chair. “It’s a government organization, Trauma Management Agency. I got hired on as a field agent, and I’ve already started training.”
“TMA? You mean them guys that show up for localized disasters and help people sort it out?” That was the cover SII used for explaining what we did to the Unawakened. I raised my chin and beamed at him. Joe’s eyebrows went up in surprise. “Wait, you’re actually serious.”
I nodded. “Yeah, all kidding aside, it’s a great job, and I can’t tell you how excited I am.”
Joe pressed his lips, nodding for a second, then forced a smile. “Yeah? Well, I’m real happy for you, kid. Just, gonna miss you around here, you know?”
I smiled and held out my hand. “It’s all right, boss. I’ll drop by and say hi once in a while. Maybe we can meet up for lunch sometimes still. I’ll be working out of Knoxville so it’s not like I won’t see you around.”
Joe came to his feet and gripped my hand. “Yeah, you’d better.”
“Come on, tough guy. Quit acting like you don’t want a hug.” I held out my free arm and Joe nearly choked me, suddenly picking me up in a squeeze.
“You little shit. I didn’t think you’d be going anywhere for a long time.”
I shoved at the big guy’s chest and he let me go. I made a show of coug
hing and we both laughed it off. It was my way of letting him off easy on the feels. Guys and their egos, after all. “Yeah, well, I’ll miss you too, boss.”
Joe shook his head. “I’ll go get the paperwork.” He hurried off to the office, and I stayed behind, giving him a chance to wipe his eyes without knowing I’d noticed them.
I checked my phone while I waited, but there were no new texts from Amorie. I hadn’t expected it; she’d sounded really busy earlier and I didn’t want to get my hopes up. Still, I took the opportunity to send her a little love. Even if she didn’t have time to respond tonight, I could remind her that I cared for her.
Joe leaned into the room a moment later. “Hey, Dakota, a blond girl was knocking at the back door when I went by. Says she’s here with you?”
“Yeah, that’s Raelya.” I hurried past him and rushed down the hall, quickly out-pacing him, and for once, not out of spite.
I popped the back door open and Raelya smiled at me, relieving the rise of anxiety I’d felt as my mind had quickly conjured a list of possible reasons why Raelya might have come knocking so soon. “May I use the restroom?”
I puffed out a breath and smiled, waving her in. “Yeah, just over there.” I gestured her toward the employee restroom next to the locker room and followed Joe back to the break table, noting the papers in his hand.
Joe plopped the stapled packet of papers onto the table and clicked a pen, dropping it on top of them as we both resumed our seating. “So I guess you’re gonna make me do this, eh?”
I shrugged. “I’m still dyslexic, Joe. Trip to Canada didn’t cure that.”
Joe shook his head. “Of course not.” He started scribbling in the details he knew, like my name and I helped him answer the other questions such as my reason for leaving.
“Got new job as secret agent for the government.” I cheesed.
Joe shook his head and mocked, “Too smart-assed for my own good,” as he wrote “new job” on the page.
Hunted (Auralight Codex: Dakota Shepherd Book 2) Page 3