Tam knocked and he called out, “Tam, you can come back in.”
She walked in with a clipboard. He’d seen that plenty of times and understood they’d be going over his plans for the show and the lineup.
Tam asked, “So how was Taylor?”
“Excited that the tour with Miranda is being negotiated for a small extension, and that her career is awesome.” He didn’t need a reminder that he was living a life where he’d be alone for most of it for a while, so he didn’t share more than that.
Tam’s lips thinned. “Is that causing you problems, boss?”
He straightened so no one questioned him or doubted him. “No, I’m happy for her.”
They went through the usual schedule and he approved the song playlist Tam would bring to his band. Once he signed off, they were done. Tam said, “Okay, I’ll leave you and then knock when it’s time to hit the stage.”
Perfect. He needed to get his head straight to match his heart. Loving Taylor meant waiting. He nodded at Tam. “Thanks.”
Once the room was filled with silence again, he took out an app on his phone, mixing some music he’d programmed earlier, and started working on lyrics.
But what was the subject?
He wrote the word, “Marry…” But he deleted it. No. It was not a good topic as his was a secret. He took a deep breath and then wrote, “Love.”
Perhaps that was better. He could handle a love song. He listened to the music again.
Yes. The melody was flowing.
He added a few notes to the composition as they came to him, and then a drum beat.
Soon he was lost in his work, until a knock that almost matched his song came from the door. He glanced up as Tam stuck her head in. “We’re ready for you, Eddie.”
Time for the song writer of his heart to take a back seat to the performer. He picked up his guitar on his way out and high-fived his opening act as they passed him.
The fans were cheering. His life was great. He walked out, strummed, and said, “Hello Los Angeles.” The crowd roared, “Eddie,” while women tossed him their phone numbers and flowers on stage.
Once the cheers lowered an octave he said, “I love it here, and I hope everyone is ready to start with "The One." And you all know the girl I wrote this song for is Taylor, from the Lipstick Outlaws. I hope everyone here buys their album.”
Awws filled the stadium.
He could wait a lifetime for Taylor. In the meantime, he had his stage.
15
Taylor stood outside her parents' blue house in Littleton, CO, a suburb of Denver, on their manicured green lawn, overlooking the Rocky Mountains. Cars lined up on the side streets, and her family’s guests didn’t bother with sweaters, as if it was summer instead of spring.
She used to be the same, but years of Nashville, and before that, New York, had taught her that fifty wasn’t exactly warm weather.
Sitting at the edge of the driveway, in exactly this spot when she was home for the summer, was where she’d talk to Eddie on the phone, for hours, as she stared at the stars and the Rocky Mountains in the distance.
Talking her parents into boarding school for her music had been a relentless struggle that she’d ultimately won because then she’d be a bragging point and not a bother at these parties of theirs. Away meant she didn’t sulk and ruin the fun.
And now here she was… back for the evening only before returning to the hotel with her bandmates, waiting for Eddie to arrive.
She paced back and forth in her black cocktail dress, the tulle skirt whispering against her knees with each step, a satin belt tying the lace on top together in a classic style.
This was something her mother would love, but inside Taylor’s skin was jumbled. She’d worn it to keep the peace this one night.
A black Lincoln town car headed down the street. Her spine straightened as she watched the headlights come right toward her, and she couldn’t quite breathe when it stopped in front of her house. The rear door opened, and Eddie’s red hair was the first part of him visible.
Her heart melted as he stepped out, carrying a bottle of wine, and he instantly wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her.
Right on her parents' front lawn.
She ignored the goosebumps that raced up her arms and body.
His kiss sent her body straight into heat. If only it never had to end.
If only she was the girl for him.
If only she was able to follow him and stay in the shadows.
But she wasn’t that girl and never could be.
They were heading, quite literally, in different directions. His star was already in the stratosphere. She was finally on the cusp of her own musical journey and her ambitions would hold him back.
He walked with her to the front door, holding her from behind as he asked, “When’s your cover out for Rolling Stone?”
Her nose wrinkled and she shook her head as she said, “I half don’t believe it will happen at all.”
“Believe it.” He stopped on the bottom step and waited for their eyes to meet. “Your song will be number one this week. Your performance has people talking about you and your band. They’d be crazy not to put you ladies on the cover.”
And she should be thrilled.
Lipstick Outlaws for life now.
Somehow, she had to tell him that they didn’t belong together. He deserved a full-time wife and not someone who’d treat him like his parents did, unable to find time for him in their lives.
He deserved better.
The kisses were an illusion and love wasn’t enough.
Her nerves was jumpy, and she tried to calm down. “I’m not going to think about it. Are you ready for this?”
He smiled and said, “For a dinner party with your parents? I’m excited.”
Her gaze narrowed and she stopped him once they made it up the final small steps to the porch. “Why?”
He held up a bottle of wine and said, “I’ve not gone to anyone’s house in years as just a normal dinner guest. I brought a gift.”
She touched his arm as he went to ring the doorbell. “Well my parents aren’t exactly…”
He squeezed her hand. “I know Tanya and Dr. Thomas Jones. Relax.”
Then he rang.
In a second, they’d be interrupted. She whispered under her breath, “I love you.”
So much so she’d let him go. She had to let his career soar and have faith in herself and her band too.
He patted her back. “Then relax and be happy, my love.”
She’d been so foolish for so many years now. Her parents opened the door, arm-in-arm, with her mom holding a glass of wine and her father holding his signature martini glass in the other hand. They stepped over the threshold that held so many memories as she said, “Mom. Dad.”
Her mother hugged her, but her father reached out, ignoring Taylor, and shook Eddie’s hand as he said, “Eddie. Taylor. Come on in.”
Once she stepped back from her mother, she straightened her dress and met her sister’s gaze as she tugged Eddie’s hand with her and said, “Hailey, you remember Eddie.”
Her sister took out her phone and laughed as she pushed Taylor into the white wall and asked, “Can I take a picture, Eddie?”
Eddie helped straighten her as her sister jumped between them and held out her phone for a selfie as he said, “Sure.”
Hailey snapped the picture and shared it on all her social media apps immediately. Taylor’s shoulder met Eddie’s again and she told her sister, “Thanks for pushing me, Hailey.”
Her sister grinned, unrepentant, and walked them both into the dining room where people their father’s age were already gathered and drinking. Hailey said, “You owe me one. I made sure Patrick is sitting next to me, so you don’t need to deal with him.”
Taylor pursed her lips.
These were the same faces she’d seen as a girl, only now a few of the doctors had younger wives. Patrick had blond curls and blended in the sea of society.
Eddie slid his arm around her waist. “Thanks, Hailey. I don’t want anyone trying to steal my favorite girlfriend.”
Eddie. His sweet smile melted the hearts of every woman he sang to. The online comments weren’t wrong that he deserved better than Taylor Jones. He absolutely did. Her skin tingled when her sister said, “I always knew you two would be together.”
Hailey walked them toward two seats near where her parents sat as Eddie joked with her, “I could have used an ally to convince Taylor.”
Her entire body had zaps of alarm. If she sat here, she’d have to tell her parents a lie. It was her idea, but right now it was like she was drowning.
If she told her parents the truth, they’d love it and she’d ruin Eddie’s life.
Her parents weren’t exactly the type to keep a secret.
She’d be next to Eddie who shouldn’t… love her like he did. She felt the energy draining from her as her sister said, “It’s probably better you did it on your own.”
A doctor friend of her dad’s, with the mustache like he wanted to own a fried chicken restaurant, walked over with her father, who then patted Eddie on the back. “Eddie, it’s good you’re here. I want to introduce you to a friend. Bob, this is Eddie, who sent over that amazing gin.”
Bob shook his hand and said, “My daughter’s a huge fan. She wanted to come tonight and was upset I had to tell her no.”
Marcie was ten years younger which meant she was probably sixteen or seventeen now. Wow. Taylor blinked as Eddie said, “Well, I’ll send tickets to my show to Dr. Thomas tomorrow to give to your daughter.”
Hailey asked from across the table where she sat with Patrick, “How about us, Eddie? If you’re giving out free tickets, my friends and I want to go.”
Eddie was famous, true, but no one cared that she was in a band or that her music was her path as well.
Eddie nodded. “Of course, you get backstage passes.”
Her sister’s voice went up an octave as she more told Patrick, “I’m so the coolest girl in my sorority tomorrow.”
Eddie’s green eyes blinked as he asked Taylor, “Sorority?”
Right. She nodded. Last time he must have talked to her sister was when she was still in high school. Taylor smiled and said, “Hailey and I are very different; we still are. My sister stayed sort of local and went to the University of Colorado in Boulder so she’s just visiting too.”
He squeezed her hand and stared at her like… well, how a husband is supposed to look at a wife. “That was what made Juilliard so much fun, finding people like you who get the music industry and living with so much creativity in the halls.”
And he shouldn’t be here. His life was worth way more than a cocktail hour that never ends.
Her father’s laugh with the other doctors as they drank cocktails and her mother’s smile as she spoke to the women… this was in the end her life and what she’d get.
Even if she didn’t want the house with the backyard and a white picket fence and neighbors who came over to visit.
Once Lipstick Outlaws ended, Taylor would dissolve into this meaningless life.
Her mind buzzed a warning, but she placed her hands on the polished wood table and smiled at the people her age now, mostly medical residents her father had invited over.
Adrenaline coursed through her, but she said through a forced smile, “Eddie, can we talk?”
Eddie followed her, but they passed her parents as they weaved through the living area. As they passed her parents, Eddie waved at them and said, “Thomas. Tanya. Great party. We’ll be right back.”
He was her Eddie. He was also Eddie Williams.
Girls wanted to rip his clothes off now.
She had no right to trap him in her life.
This party was a stark reminder of what her life became eventually, and Eddie deserved better.
He was meant to soar.
One day she’d be wearing an off-the-rack designer dress like her mother and dying on the inside as she hosted some stupid party, just like this.
She’d earned her place in the Lipstick Outlaws--but then what?
She absolutely didn’t deserve… well, Eddie. She walked him up the stairs and pointed him to the second door on the left to the room that faced the tree in the backyard. “This way.”
As she opened the door Eddie’s smile grew wider as he walked around the four-poster bed and the boy band posters that hung on her walls. “Is this your old room, Taylor?”
She hugged her waist and sat on her old twin bed. “It is. It’s strange they haven’t changed anything.”
He laughed, slipped onto the mattress next to her and pointed to Justin Timberlake. “You had the same poster in your dorm room.”
Her girlish crush on Justin had lasted much longer than expected. She tugged at the bottom of her tulle skirt and met his gaze. “Eddie, I have to tell you something, big.”
He tilted his head and seemed to notice she was stressed. “What’s going on, Taylor?”
Now. Her body was burning hot and her pulse went haywire.
But as she tensed every muscle in her body from her forehead to her big toe, she forced the words out that she needed to say, “I want to give you your ring back.”
His face drained of color. “What? Why?”
She took the ring off her necklace underneath the dress and handed it to him. “I understand the music industry, and that’s why this marriage was a bad idea. You’re heading to super stardom far above my childish crush.” She glanced at the poster. Justin had nothing on Eddie.
He just stared at the ring and he sounded like he was fourteen again and not the star he was now when he said, “You said you loved me too.”
Tears slid down her cheeks. She couldn’t hurt him without hurting herself. She swallowed to stop crying and stood, holding her waist. “I love you so much that I’m going to let you be free, Eddie.”
He rose and placed his hands on her shoulders. “I’ve never been free of you, Taylor.”
This was so hard, but in this reckless marriage to Eddie, she now had to choose—for him. He deserved a wife who would be with him and she couldn’t.
Her own path was just beginning. So, she ignored how her cheeks were wet and stepped out of his arms. “I don’t know what to say. Our song "Came to Nashville" could be number one and I need to see my music career through. It’s all I ever wanted, and I can’t… I can’t want to just quit and follow you.”
The old Taylor would have in a heartbeat and part of her was tempted to hitch herself to his worldwide tour—it sounded exciting, seeing things with Eddie.
He walked around her and blocked the light of the window that reflected the street light. “I never asked that, and I hope you succeed.”
She wanted to throw her arms around him and just… follow her heart.
But then she’d be the same girl who'd followed Keith and let her heart decide instead of fulfilling her own dreams. She wiped her eyes as she knew she needed to be clear. “But that means I… I need to be with my band, and I can’t just quit and follow you.”
He stepped back and the small space felt like he was far away. “When we married, I assumed I’d have to wait for you.”
“So, you keep saying.” She met his green-eyed gaze but also remembered the stiff upper lip boy whose parents never once came to any of his recitals or graduations.
He’d never complained but the more important thing was he never once complimented his parents, except to say they were successful.
Taylor had watched him call, but they never answered.
She wouldn't do that to Eddie. She couldn’t. “You've already waited all your life for love. It's not fair for me to ask that of you now.”
He reached for her and said, “I’m not complaining.”
She wanted nothing else than to rest her head on his shoulder. “Out loud, no, but I know how your parents hurt you when they didn’t come.”
He flinched.
And in that moment, she kne
w one hundred percent that she was right to end this. She lowered her hands as he said, “There is a big difference here.”
She lifted her chin and hoped he had an answer. If he knew how to make this work without risking his feelings, she would try. “What’s that?”
He didn’t move at all as he said, “You always keep your word.”
No. No. No. Her skin was like butterflies.
This wasn’t good.
But if she didn’t break this now, she’d hurt him even more.
What if the Lipstick Outlaws had even more success? What if they had their own tour? She wanted in.
This was her dream.
Her music.
And his star was already soaring and would only grow bigger in time. The world wanted to hear Eddie Williams sing.
She ignored the thrumming in her heart and said, “I… I promised the band I’d be with them and I can’t make you wait indefinitely. You deserve the chance to find someone who loves you and can be with you—a real partner.”
His voice was low and almost a whisper when he said, “Taylor, I’ve always been in love with you.”
This… the part of her gut that wanted to be with him said to toss her dreams and be with him.
Eddie was amazing.
She’d never turn out to be her mother if she stayed with Eddie.
But that wasn’t a good enough reason to not follow her own music. She turned away. “And I love you, but it’s not enough to make this work.”
This time he didn’t touch her and her hairs on her arms stood and wished he would. “That’s not true.”
Tomorrow they both had shows. They wouldn't see each other again for a long while. He was heading to his last American stop and then onto Australia, Japan and the other side of the world.
And next stop for her was Kansas City. She wiped her face. “I shouldn’t have made you come to my parents.”
Done. She’d told Eddie she couldn’t be his girl anymore. Taylor opened her bedroom door that still had a gold star on it that she’d pinned there when she’d only dreamed she’d be a musician. “Taylor…”
He'd earned himself a real star and not just drawn it himself like she had.
Taylor’s Legendary Heart: Sweethearts of Country Music, Book 2 Page 12