by CM Doporto
“Why wouldn’t they?” I searched his face for the truth and when his eyes met mine, I sensed there was more to this story. “Tell me exactly what happened.”
“I drank two beers, stayed for a while, and left.”
“Raven,” I leaned forward, gripping his hands tighter, “anything else happen?”
“No.” He threw his hands up in defense. “I swear. But they did bring a group of women into the room.”
“What?” My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach and my blood filled with an anger I hadn’t felt in several months.
“I promise you, nothing happened.” He made a cross over his heart. “They did flirt with me, but I let them know you were the only one who belonged in my trap. No one else. I made it very clear to them.” His voice rattled and I prayed he was telling me the truth. “I thanked the team for their hospitality and left.”
“You left?” I eyed him suspiciously. I wanted to believe him. Trust he was being one-hundred percent honest with me, but knowing what he’d done on New Year’s Eve had me less inclined to do so.
“Yes. I finished my second beer, tossed the empty bottle, and told them goodnight.” His shoulders relaxed as if a big weight had been lifted.
“And the women didn’t follow you to your room?”
His faced twisted in disgust. “No. Absolutely not.”
“You’re telling me the truth?”
“Yes, baby. In fact, Terrance apologized Monday for bringing those women. Swore it wouldn’t happen again.”
I wanted to believe him, not question whether he was lying or covering up something, but Raven made it damn hard. He had left too many scars on my heart — scars that reminded me what he was capable of doing. I searched deep inside myself and there, in the pocket of my heart, underneath all those markings, was the feeling I’d been searching for. The feeling that told me he was being honest. That he was trying his damnedest to prove he could love me and honor me at the same time. I sensed no falsehood or excuses for covering up relationship-breaking actions. I at least had to give him the benefit of the doubt.
“Thank you for telling me.” I released a gentle smile.
“So, you believe me?” He gathered me in his arms.
I hesitated for a moment, squashing the voices that told me I was a fool for trusting him. “I’m trying, Raven. Really, I am.”
He rested his forehead against mine. “Please don’t stop. I’m working hard to walk a straight line. A line that leads us directly to the altar.”
“Good, because that’s where I want us to be.” I pressed a soft kiss to his lips and said a silent prayer he wouldn’t fail me again.
***
Raven
“Come on, Raven. Go deep.” The offensive coordinator yelled, pushing me to test my throwing arm. My shoulder ached and I prayed it wasn’t going to give me problems come Sunday. The old college injury loved to resurface at the most inopportune times.
I gave him a nod and called the play. Devon passed me the ball and I dropped back, hurdling it sixty-eight yards to Terrance. He jumped, but missed the catch. This long-bomb play was one I could nail in college, but for some reason, I was having trouble today.
“Again.” Coach Randy blew his whistle and motioned for one of the coaching staff to toss me another ball. We repeated the play several times and each time, I pushed myself harder and harder, trying not to overthrow the ball. I sensed the frustration with some of the players, but they stuck with me until I had the play down. Coach Randy blew the whistle one more time. “Alright. Let’s call it a day, guys.”
“Thanks, man.” I turned toward Devon as we cleared the practice field.
“No problem, man. We’re counting on you,” he said with a heavy breath.
The comment made me stop dead in my tracks. We had one more day to practice our plays before Sunday’s game.
Damn. Why did this week have to be Thanksgiving?
I needed one more practice day. It sucked we didn’t get a full practice day on Monday and had lost a full day on Thursday. I was still too green and needed all the extra time I could get. The team was counting on me. Lexi was counting on me. The twins were counting on me. I couldn’t let them down. We had to win Sunday’s game and it was my responsibility to get them there.
“Hey, Terrance.” I got his attention before he pulled his helmet off.
“You did good.” He knocked fists with me.
“Thanks, man. I’m just concerned about a few of the plays.” I shook my head while gripping my sides.
“You want to practice some of the throws?” Despite his offer, his face had another message: tired and ready for a hot shower. I couldn’t blame him; so was I.
“Yeah, I’d like to. Do you mind staying for a while?”
“No, man. Not at all.” Terrance motioned to one of the other receivers. Richon Fontenot was a free agent like me and he played at PHU his freshman year before transferring to Oklahoma. “Raven wants to practice a little longer. Can you stay?”
“Sure.” He slammed his helmet against his hand. “Let’s do this.”
“I appreciate it, Richon.”
“Don’t worry about it.” We gripped hands for a manly shake and headed toward the forty-yard line. I glanced at the clock on the scoreboard and saw it was fifteen after five. Lexi was going to be pissed after I promised we’d take Luke and Delaney to eat at the French Quarter. My phone was in my locker, so I had no way to call her. I hoped she’d understand.
We practiced a few different plays until I felt comfortable. It helped us learn each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and I was quickly able to pick up on what I needed to do to make the plays successful. What I liked about these guys was their determination to win. Not once did they complain when I asked them to do it again. After an hour, we finally called it quits.
“Thanks, guys. I appreciate it.”
“Don’t worry about it. We want to win Sunday’s game just like you do.” Terrace shot me a grin as we headed to the locker room.
“I can do it again tomorrow if you want,” Richon offered, as he removed his helmet.
“I might take you up on that.” I bumped my helmet against his.
Before hitting the shower, I grabbed my phone. I had a missed call and two text messages from Lexi.
Lexi: Just checking to see when you’re coming home. I’m starving and ready to eat. Luke and Delaney are ready, too. I love you and hope everything is okay. Call me, please.
Forty minutes later, I had another text.
Lexi: We’re going to head to the FQ. Call me when you get done.
By the lack of words in her message, I could tell she was pissed. I dialed her number, not bothering to text back. I didn’t want her to think I was cheating on her or hiding something. Especially after I told her about the party at the hotel. She indicated she trusted me, but I heard the concern in her voice. I couldn’t blame her after everything I’d put her through.
The phone rang a few times before she answered.
“Hello?”
“Hey, baby. I just finished practice.”
Background noise filtered through the phone, but it didn’t cover the sigh she released. “What happened? I thought you said you’d be done by five.”
“We finished around five-fifteen, but I stayed to practice a few plays with some of the guys.”
“You could’ve text me to let me know.” Frustration rang loudly and I cringed, knowing I’d screwed up.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t have my phone—”
“Why didn’t you have your phone?”
“Because I was on the field, practicing.” I placed my hand against my locker, trying desperately not to ram my fist into it.
“Can’t you take it with you? What if I was going into labor? How am I supposed to get a hold of you? You promised you be here for me, Raven.”
She had a point. With only a few weeks left, I had to be ready at all times. “You’re right, and I’m sorry. If I have to stay late, I’ll make sure you
have a way to get in touch with me.”
“Thank you,” she spat out.
“If I’m playing a game, you have the numbers of the two trainers, correct?”
“Yes, I have them stored in my phone.”
“Okay. I’ll ask them to send you a message if we’re staying late for training.” I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling the tension wrap around my bones. “I’ll also ask if you can call them in case there’s an emergency while I’m on the practice field. I’m sorry.” I shook my head, realizing how stupid I was for not thinking ahead of time.
“That makes me feel much better.” Her voice had changed, content with my response.
“Good.” I let out a breath, glad she wasn’t upset any more. “Are you guys already at a restaurant?”
“Yes. We’re waiting to be seated at Eat New Orleans on Dumaine Street.”
“Okay. I’ll take a quick shower and meet you there.”
“I can order your favorite dish if you’d like.”
“That would be great.” Leave it to my sweet Lexi to make sure I had food to eat, when I should be doing that for her. “You’re so awesome.”
“Just trying to take care of my man,” she said, not missing a beat.
I didn’t know if that was a jab, but decided not to respond negatively. “Don’t worry about me, baby. You just take care of yourself and our two babies, okay?”
“I’m trying, Raven. I’m trying.”
Chapter 5
Lexi
“Thanks for coming with me.” I glanced at Delaney and then Cassie, glad I had them to lean on when Raven couldn’t be with me.
Cassie shifted her SUV into park. “Of course. I told you I’d be here for you.”
“Thanks.” I gave her a gentle smile, trying to keep the waterworks from releasing for the umpteenth time.
“I’m sorry I don’t live closer. You know I’d be in the delivery room with you if I did.” Delaney leaned between the two front seats, resting her head against my shoulder. “Even if you have C-section.”
“I know you would.” I leaned my head against hers. “You being here with me today is enough,” I assured her. Delaney had been with me since I found out I was pregnant. Standing by my side when I took the pregnancy test and going to doctor appointments with me until I decided to tell Raven. She had been a true, caring friend.
“No, it’s not,” she lifted her head, “but it’s the best I can do right now. It sucks Raven can’t be here with you, but what can you do? He has a game to prepare for.”
I wiped a tear that was adamant on releasing and sniffed. “I know…and I shouldn’t be upset because I want this for him. This is what he’s been waiting for. I should be happy and jumping for joy, but instead, I’m upset he’s not spending more time with me.” The tears started to fall as I opened up to my friends. “What’s wrong with me?”
“Oh, darling, don’t cry.” Cassie plucked a few tissues from a soft pack stashed on the side of the door. “You’ll just upset yourself and the babies.”
“I know.” I rubbed my ever-growing belly, feeling the babies move and kick. “None of this should be a surprise...” I blew my nose and wiped it, “but I can’t help wanting him to be with me for things like this.” I held up my hand, motioning to the building next to the hospital where the Lamaze classes were being held. “He told me he’d come with me today, but instead, he got up early, worked out with Luke, then said he had to go to practice.”
“I’m sorry, Lexi.” Delaney pulled my hair away from my face. “I know this sucks, but just think…Raven’s going to be the starting quarterback on Sunday.”
“I hate Pittsburgh.” Cassie grunted. “I hope they tear them apart.”
“I know.” I half laughed, half cried. “It’s a dream come true. And I’m so thankful, yet all I can think about is what if he’s on the field playing a game or out of town when I go into labor. Does he want to be there when the babies are born? Does he care?”
“Stop thinking those foolish thoughts.” Cassie latched on to my hands. “You’re stressing yourself out. Of course Raven wants to be there when you have the babies. I’m sure this is bothering him just as much as it’s hurting you. Think about it, he’s trying to do his best on the field and be here for you, too.”
I wiped my eyes. “I know he is. But why can’t my stupid heart accept it and stop feeling so emotional about the situation?”
“It’s your hormones, darling. They love to mess with you and make you feel like you can’t handle anything. Trust me, I know.” She released a heavy sigh.
“I’m sick of it.” I tossed my hands in the air. “I’m more confident than this.” I glanced at Delaney for confirmation. “Aren’t I?”
“You’re totally not yourself,” she said, matter of fact. “But you’re pregnant, so it’s understandable.”
“I can’t wait to be back to normal.” I pulled down the vanity mirror and cleaned the black from under my eyes, wishing I had worn waterproof mascara.
“Be patient and give yourself some time. And pray you don’t suffer from postpartum depression.” I shot her a dreadful glance. “But if you do, don’t worry. I’m here for you, and don’t be afraid to get on meds if you need to.”
“Ugh!” My shoulders caved inward. Being pregnant took such a huge toll on your body. More than I’d expected. I was fortunate I didn’t have any complications or problems, and I continued to remind myself of that, but it didn’t seem help. “I need to pull myself together and be strong. I have so much to be thankful for.” I turned to my friends. “There are people who have it so much worse than I do. I shouldn’t be complaining.”
“You have valid complaints, Lexi. You have every right to be upset.” Cassie was quick to remind me. “I will tell you, when I was pregnant with Ella, it was hard as hell. Keenan had already been working his new territory, traveling Monday through Thursday. Luckily, I went into labor on a Friday morning, when he was home.”
“I didn’t realize Keenan was traveling so much while you were pregnant.”
“Yes, and it wasn’t easy. If it weren’t for my mother-in-law, Alice, I don’t know what I would have done. You’re lucky you have Mimi to help you. She’s been a lifesaver, too.”
“I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have her. She’s a godsend. My mother promised to help me, but since she lives in Texas, it makes it hard.” In reality, Mimi was more supportive than my mother, and I was fortunate to have her. Mom still had some hard feelings toward Raven; I wasn’t sure she’d ever accept him. Deep down, she still wanted me to be with Collin, although she wouldn’t admit it to me. I wasn’t trying to please her, so if she didn’t like my choice, that was her problem.
“I’m glad you have Mimi,” Delaney said, relief etched in her eyes. “I’m not sure your mom would be there to the extent Mimi is.”
“I know.” I gave a slight nod. She knew my mom all too well. Since she was dating my brother, she was getting to know her even more. It was only a matter of time before Mom started complaining about her. No one was good enough for her children, unless she had a direct influence with the relationship. And since she didn’t pair Luke with Delaney, I doubted she would fully accept her.
“I still worry about him being faithful. Since I can’t travel with him, I have no idea what he does when I go to bed at night. He told me some of the guys brought some women to the hotel to party with them after the Baltimore game. He swore nothing happened and he went back to his room alone, though.”
They stared at me for a moment. “If he were guilty of doing something wrong, I doubt he’d be telling you,” Delaney said.
“But what if something did happen?” I wiped the string of tears dripping from my cheeks.
“Do you think he cheated on you?” Cassie asked.
I stopped mid-sniffle, thinking about what they said and how absurd I sounded. Raven was busting his ass. Doing everything to keep his place on the team and walk a straight line. I had to trust he was making the right decisions. He l
oved me and by the way he spoke and acted, I knew he loved our soon-to-be-born babies. “No,” I responded in a hushed voice, feeling like an idiot for thinking the worst.
“I’m not one to take up for Raven’s stupid decisions, but something tells me he’s busting his ass to get you to the altar.” Delaney coaxed me with her words of truth.
“I think she’s right,” Cassie added. “Raven loves you too much to screw up again.” I had confided in Cassie, telling her about the struggles Raven and I had been through and the wrong choices he had made. She wasn’t oblivious to his womanizing behavior, stating he had hooked up with some of her college friends when they went to a game his sophomore year.
I closed my eyes and pushed aside the voices telling me lies. If this is what Raven suffered from, I felt so bad for him. I’d never had issues like this in the past. “I’m being overly paranoid, that’s all.”
“It’s the hormones, I’m telling you.” Cassie handed me a few more tissues. “Okay, Lexi, no more crying.” She turned off the engine and grabbed her purse. “Let’s get this class done and then grab a bite to eat. If you feel up to it, I know this cute boutique for baby clothes. I think you can find the perfect outfit for both your bundles to come home in. What do you say?”
I blotted my eyes one more time. “I’d like that. I haven’t even packed their diaper bags, or my hospital bag yet. I guess I need to pick out some clothes for them to wear.”
“D-day is getting closer. We’ll help you get those bags packed and ready to go.” Delaney gave my hand a tight squeeze. “And don’t worry about Raven. I’ll make sure he’s not doing anything stupid.”
“What are you going to tell him?” I turned around in my seat.
“Don’t worry,” she opened the car door, “after a chat with me, you can rest assured his balls and dick stay where they need to be.” She winked and we laughed. Leave it to Delaney to bring some good holiday cheer.
***
Raven
I felt bad for missing Lexi’s Lamaze class, but I couldn’t miss four hours of practice. Not with the game tomorrow. I didn’t want to tell her I thought the classes were a waste of time since she probably wasn’t going to deliver the twins naturally. The doctor had warned her a C-section might be necessary. Regardless, I still wanted to be with her and give her the support she needed. Something told me I had screwed up.