‘I see.’ Ross ran his hand over his face and Heather could see that he was trembling. He grimaced when he saw her watching him. ‘Sorry. You’d think I’d be used to dealing with bad news but it’s different when you’re personally involved.’
‘It is and there’s no need to apologise. I…I know how it feels, believe me.’
It was impossible to keep the pain out of her voice and she saw Ross’s gaze sharpen. She turned away because the last thing she needed was to have to think about what she’d been through when Stewart had died.
‘I’ll fetch the boys. I kept them in my office because it was easier to see what they were up to while I was working. They’ll be glad to see you because they are really worried about their mother.’
‘It’s good of you to have gone to so much trouble, Heather.’
He smiled when she looked round but she saw the question in his eyes. She knew without having to ask that he was wondering if she’d meant what she had told him on the phone.
Had she? Could she envisage them being friends when a few weeks ago she hadn’t believed it possible? But three weeks ago she hadn’t realised how much she was going to miss him…
‘It was nothing,’ she said quickly, before she could say something she might regret. She deliberately hardened her heart when she saw the disappointment on his face but it would be wrong to mislead him when she needed to think about what she was doing. ‘I’ll get the boys for you.’
She hurried from the room, closing the door before she made herself take several calming breaths, but even then her heart was racing. If only she could give Ross what he wanted then it would be so much easier, but she was too afraid to let down her guard in case she ended up getting hurt.
The twins were busily drawing when Heather went to the office. She helped them gather up their paper and crayons and took them to see Ross. They ran straight to him and he picked them up and hugged them tightly.
‘It’s going to be all right,’ he told them gruffly, kissing each tousled blond head in turn. ‘The doctors and nurses will make Mummy better.’
‘Will you help make Mummy better as well, Heather?’ Josh asked, turning to look at her with trusting brown eyes.
‘I’ll try my best,’ she promised with a lump in her throat. Just witnessing how much Ross loved the twins had touched her deeply. It reminded her of what she’d been thinking earlier, about him having children of his own. There was no doubt in her mind that he would make the most wonderful father. If only Grace had someone like Ross to love and cherish her, she thought wistfully.
‘Thank you, Heather.’
Ross had carried the twins across the room and Heather jumped when she discovered that he was standing right in front of her. Her breath caught when he bent and kissed her on the cheek. He drew back and she felt heat envelop her when she saw the tenderness in his eyes.
‘Thank you for everything you’ve done tonight. We mean that from the bottom of our hearts, don’t we, boys? So say thank you to Heather.’
‘I…um…You’re welcome,’ Heather murmured as the twins obediently added their thanks.
She hurriedly excused herself and went to Reception. Her next patient was a young man who’d been hit over the head with a bottle in the nightclub affray and had a nasty scalp wound. He was extremely drunk and seemed to think it highly amusing to curse as loudly as he could as she took him to a cubicle, but his foul language went straight over Heather’s head. All she could hear was the warmth in Ross’s voice when he had thanked her, and nothing could sully the memory, not even a stream of ugly curses. It had been the moment when she’d realised how easy it would be to fall in love with him if she carried on seeing him.
Her heart was heavy as she got the young man settled on the bed. She’d been right to send Ross away three weeks ago and it would be wrong to go back on that decision no matter how much she longed to do so. Another hero in her life would be one hero too many.
The twins had finally fallen asleep on the sofa. Ross had spent over an hour trying to reassure them that Kate would be fine. He covered them with a blanket one of the nurses had brought him then sighed as he looked at their exhausted little faces.
The poor kids were worn out by what had happened and their ordeal wasn’t over yet. The doctors were assessing the results of Kate’s CT scan and although he hoped and prayed the news would be favourable, he had to prepare himself for the worst. Josh and Luke were going to need him if anything happened to their mother.
Ross swung round, hating himself for thinking such a thing when it felt as though he was tempting fate. He went into the corridor, wondering if he could find someone to watch the boys while he phoned his brother-in-law. It was going to be a big shock for poor Mike and Ross wasn’t looking forward to having to break the news to him.
The sound of voices made him glance round and he felt his heart lift when he saw Heather coming along the corridor. She was deep in conversation with a tall man with grey hair and seemed unaware that Ross was standing there so he allowed himself the simple pleasure of watching her. The night had obviously taken its toll on Heather, too, because he could see how tired she looked. However, neither the shadows under her eyes nor the frown lines on her forehead could detract from her beauty.
His gaze moved on, centred on her mouth, and he felt his pulse quicken because there was no doubt that Heather had the most beautiful mouth he’d ever seen. Her lips were both sensually full yet delicately shaped with that perfect Cupid’s bow. Ross could tell that she wasn’t wearing lipstick and knew that their warm pink colour owed itself to nature rather than cosmetics. He was suddenly overwhelmed by a need to see if her mouth tasted as good as he remembered it to be. He’d only kissed her that one time all those weeks ago and it was hard to believe her lips really had been so soft and sweet….
‘This is Mr Martindale, Ross, Head of Neurosurgery. He’d like to speak to you about Kate’s CT scan.’
Ross jumped like a startled cat. He couldn’t believe that he’d allowed himself to get so carried away. ‘Mr Martindale,’ he said, hurriedly shaking the man’s hand. ‘What have you discovered?’
‘Maybe we could go inside to talk,’ the consultant suggested, glancing into the relatives’ room. He sighed when he saw the two small boys fast asleep on the sofa. ‘Ah. It seems a shame to wake them.’
‘You can use my office,’ Heather offered immediately. She turned to Ross and smiled, but he could see the worry in her eyes. His spirits plummeted because it was obvious that Heather knew it wasn’t good news about Kate. ‘I’ll keep an eye on the twins for you. I’m due for a break now so it won’t be a problem.’
‘Thanks,’ he murmured distractedly. He followed the consultant into the office, steeling himself for what was to come, but it was hard to control his fear about what the other man would tell him.
‘There’s no point beating about the bush, Mr Tanner. It will only waste time we really don’t have.’ James Martindale didn’t bother sitting down. ‘Your sister has a large haematoma—a blood clot—on the right side of her brain, and we need to remove it as soon as possible.’
‘You’re saying that Kate will need an operation?’ Ross sank onto a chair as his legs gave way.
‘Yes. It’s vital that we remove the clot before any more pressure builds up inside Mrs Lawrence’s skull. We want to minimise the risk of further damage.’
‘You mean that she might already have suffered some sort of brain damage?’ Ross swallowed but the thought of Kate being left permanently disabled was almost more than he could bear.
‘I’m afraid I can’t answer that question, Mr Tanner.’ The consultant sighed. ‘You have to understand that the brain is a highly complex and delicate instrument and it’s impossible to foretell how much or how little damage might have occurred as the result of an injury. All I can say is that the sooner we remove the clot, the better your sister’s chances will be. We shall need a consent form signed before the operation can go ahead. Normally Mr Lawrence would be asked
to sign it but I believe he’s abroad at the present time.’
‘That’s right. I was just about to phone Mike and tell him what’s happened. He’s working in the Arab Emirates and I’m not sure how long it will take him to get home.’
‘In that case, perhaps you would sign in his stead? It’s quite in order for a relative to give permission for an operation to proceed when the next of kin is absent and time is of the essence.’
‘Of course I’ll sign it,’ Ross agreed immediately. ‘I’ll do anything if it will help Kate. When do you plan to operate?’
‘Immediately.’ James Martindale shrugged. ‘The operation itself is fairly routine. I’ve performed it many times and I’m not anticipating any problems today. I wish I could be as confident of the prognosis but until your sister regains consciousness then we won’t know what kind of problems there might be.’
‘I understand, but what could it mean for Kate? What sort of problems might she have to face in the future?’ Ross demanded anxiously.
‘Patients who have suffered a severe head injury can be left both physically and mentally disabled. However, it would be wrong to try to second-guess the outcome at this stage, Mr Tanner. My advice to you is to try and remain positive. Your sister may be one of the lucky ones and make a complete recovery.’
‘Yes, of course. Thank you,’ Ross murmured.
He got up after the consultant had left and went to the window. It was almost six a.m. and there were lights coming on in the tower blocks overlooking that part of the hospital. He could imagine the people in those flats going about their normal, everyday routines. Nothing felt normal to him, though. His sister could be left severely handicapped and there was nothing anyone could do about it. He’d never felt more helpless in his life.
‘Ross?’
He turned when he heard Heather’s voice, not even feeling surprised when he saw her. He’d known she would come to find him because she understood how he must feel. In a funny kind of way it helped to lessen his pain to know that he didn’t need to explain how devastated he felt.
He opened his arms, praying she would find the courage to give him the support he desperately needed, and he wasn’t disappointed. She hurried across the room and stepped into his embrace, laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist as though holding him was the most important thing she’d ever done. Tears welled in his eyes at the thought and he buried his face in her hair.
‘Thank you,’ he whispered roughly.
‘What for?’
Her breath clouded on his cheek as she tipped back her head to look at him, and a spasm of raw need shot through his body like a dart of lightning. Ross’s arms tightened as he drew her closer, needing to feel her softness against him to ease the pain.
‘For being brave enough to let me hold you like this.’
‘Oh, Ross.’ The words were choked off by a sob and he sighed when he realised that she was crying.
‘Don’t cry, sweetheart,’ he murmured, brushing her forehead then her cheeks with his lips. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you.’
‘I know you didn’t. It’s just…just…’ She swallowed and Ross could tell that she was struggling for control. He wasn’t sure what she was trying to say but it didn’t really matter. What mattered was that Heather was upset now and he needed to comfort her as she had tried to comfort him.
His mouth slid down her cheek and came to rest at the corner of her mouth. He ached to kiss her properly but knew it would be wrong to assume that was the kind of comfort she needed. He could taste the saltiness of her tears and hated to think that he might never again enjoy the sweetness of her kiss. He was steeling himself to let her go when she suddenly turned….
Their mouths met, clung, then parted as though the kiss had been too much for both of them. Ross was swamped by a host of sensations all at once. Heather’s lips had tasted so sweet that he wished he could bottle their flavour so that he could savour it again and again. They’d felt so wonderfully soft and smooth that it had been like kissing warm satin. Even the tiny sigh that had escaped her had been so delicious that he wanted to commit it to memory like a much-loved tune. Everything about the kiss had been perfect, but would a second be as good?
He bent towards her at the same moment as she rose on tiptoe and their mouths met with a small jolt that rippled through his body. Ross could feel every cell tingling from the aftershocks and groaned in delight.
His arms tightened around her, kept her poised on tiptoe while his mouth plundered hers. He was just as aware of the softness and sweetness of Heather’s lips this time but this kiss was very different to the first. There was so much emotion in it, so much need and raw longing, that it made his head reel. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Heather wanted this kiss every bit as much as he did and the thought tipped him over the edge.
He nipped gently at her lower lip, tempting it to open so that he could explore the inner sweetness of her mouth. He could have shouted for joy when her lips parted if he hadn’t been too busy taking full advantage. His tongue darted inside her mouth, found hers and then retreated because the sensations rushing through him were too much to deal with.
Had he ever felt this depth of desire before, this need to take everything Heather could give him and give her even more back in return? he wondered in amazement. He wanted her so much both physically and spiritually that he was actually shaking. In that moment Ross realised that the kind of happiness he’d always dreamed about was within his grasp, but it all depended on how Heather felt.
Did she—could she—feel for him even a fraction of what he felt for her?
Heather could feel her resistance melting like morning mist beneath the heat of the sun. Every single rule she had lived by during the past three years suddenly made not a scrap of sense. She wanted Ross to kiss her and hold and eventually…no, sooner than that…make love to her, so why pretend? Why not tell him how she felt?
She opened her mouth to do just that when there was a knock on the door. Heather automatically looked round, although for a second she had difficulty remembering where she was. Her mind was too full of the delights of Ross’s kiss to allow reality to intrude.
‘Sorry to interrupt, Heather, but can you come? We’ve an RTA on the way—a couple injured when their car overturned.’ Abby shot an apologetic glance at Ross. ‘I wouldn’t have bothered you but Ben is tied up in Resus with a suspected myocardial infarc and Rob isn’t up to handling something as serious as this.’
‘Of course. I…I’ll be right there.’ Heather summoned a smile but it was hard not to show her dismay as she came back to earth with a bump. ‘I’d better go and see what’s happening,’ she said huskily after Abby had left. She hurriedly stepped out of Ross’s arms and went to the door, feeling her legs trembling as the full enormity of what had happened hit her. How could she have let Ross kiss her like that? How could she have kissed him back that way? How could she have considered breaking her own sacred rules?
‘We didn’t do anything wrong, Heather.’
She paused when Ross spoke, although she couldn’t bring herself to look at him in case he could tell how scared she felt. ‘Of course not. Now, if you’ll excuse me…’
‘Dammit, Heather, don’t do that!’
The anger in his voice startled her so much that she turned. ‘Do what? I don’t know what you mean.’
‘Don’t you? So you aren’t deliberately shutting me out, then?’ He crossed the room in a couple of long, angry strides and caught hold of her by the shoulders. ‘You’re willing to swear on the Bible that it isn’t what you’re doing?’
‘I don’t have to swear to anything!’ she shot back, her own anger igniting as quickly as his had done. Maybe it wasn’t fair to blame him for what had happened when she’d been such a willing participant, but she couldn’t help it. If Ross hadn’t kissed her then she wouldn’t be in this position. ‘Nor do I have to explain myself to you!’
‘No, you don’t, but it appears that I owe
you an explanation, Heather.’
He treated her to a grim smile as he let her go. Heather felt a wave of sickness rise inside her when she saw the bitterness in his eyes. It was obvious that he was deeply hurt by what she’d said, but there was no way she could apologise when it would only make matters worse.
‘I made the mistake of thinking that the situation between us had changed but I can see that I was wrong. All I can say is that I never meant to embarrass you.’ He opened the door. ‘Now I’d better go and check on the boys.’
Heather felt a lump come to her throat as he left the room. It was all she could do not to call him back, but what would be the point? What could she tell him? That she didn’t regret letting him kiss her?
She took a deep breath but it was hard to blot out the images that filled her head. It had been such a long time since a man had kissed her the way Ross had done—with such passion, such hunger—that she could feel herself trembling at the memory. Ross had apologised but she knew in her heart that he wasn’t the guilty one. She could have stopped him any time she’d chosen but she hadn’t wanted to. The truth was that she’d wanted Ross every bit as much as he’d wanted her.
Heather’s shift finally came to an end almost an hour after she was due to go off duty. The two car-crash victims had been taken to Theatre. Both had suffered multiple injuries and it had taken a real team effort to get them stable. Heather was as relieved as everyone else when they were finally able to go home. It had been a stressful night one way and another.
She collected her coat and headed for the exit. She had to pass the relatives’ room and automatically glanced through the glass pane in the door. Ross was sitting on the sofa with the twins cuddled up at either side of him. The three of them looked so worn out that Heather’s footsteps slowed. Maybe Ross wouldn’t welcome her interference after what had happened earlier, but she couldn’t leave without first checking to see if he needed anything.
Saving Dr. Cooper Page 12