Heather’s heart was pounding so hard that she could feel its beat making her whole body vibrate. When Ross got up and went to the window it was a relief. Maybe she’d be able to think if he wasn’t holding her.
Her mind swooped back to what he’d said and she bit her lip. Ross had said that he loved her, but people said all manner of things when they were trying to comfort one another. It could have been a simple slip of the tongue….
Only she didn’t really believe that.
Heather shot to her feet. Oddly enough, the memory of what had happened to Stewart seemed far less painful now than the idea that Ross had fallen in love with her. She couldn’t bear to think that she might have to hurt him, but what choice did she have? She certainly couldn’t allow herself to fall in love with him…
Could she?
The question made her gasp and she saw him turn. There were deep lines grooved either side of his mouth that hinted at the strain he was under and Heather’s heart ached all the more because of what he must be going through. Ross was a proud man and he must hate the thought that he might have made a fool of himself.
‘It’s easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment,’ she said quickly, wanting to give him a way out.
‘Very easy. However, that doesn’t change how I feel Heather. I love you. I hadn’t meant to tell you that but there’s no point lying about it.’
‘I had no idea…’ she began, then stopped because there was no way that she could lie to him either. She’d known that Ross was attracted to her. It was one of the reasons why she’d been so afraid of getting involved with him, that plus the fact that he had aroused such deep feelings in her.
‘I suppose I tried not to think about what was happening,’ she admitted.
‘Because of Stewart?’ He sighed. ‘I don’t really need to ask you that when it’s obvious that you’ve never got over losing him. He must have been quite a guy for you to be so in love with him after all this time.’
‘Stewart was a wonderful person and I loved him very much,’ she said softly. ‘But it’s what happened to him that affected me most of all. I’m scared of falling in love again, Ross, and going through the same kind of heartache. I don’t think I could bear it and I certainly wouldn’t want Grace’s life to be blighted by another tragedy.’
‘But surely you can see that the odds on it happening again are minute?’
‘Maybe, but my life fell apart after Stewart was killed. I didn’t want to carry on living and the thought of ever going back to feeling like that is too much to bear.’ She smiled sadly. ‘I expect you think I’m a coward, don’t you?’
‘No,’ he said thickly. ‘I think you are a very brave and wonderful woman, Heather.’
Heather felt her throat close up when she saw the tears in his eyes. When he held out his arms to her she didn’t hesitate. She slid her arms around his waist, held him just as tightly as he held her. She could feel the heavy thudding of his heart beneath her breasts and its thundering beat filled her with sudden hope.
With every powerful beat Ross was telling her that he loved her, with every breath he took he was saying how much he needed her. He was so brave and strong that it made her wonder if he had enough courage for both of them. Maybe they could make this work if she could draw on his strength.
Heather’s own heart started racing. It was such a huge step to take and she wasn’t sure that she could manage to overcome her fears. But the thought of not having Ross in her life was more than she could bear. Maybe she wasn’t prepared to admit that she loved him just yet but given time…
‘Why are you hugging Heather, Uncle Ross? Is she your girlfriend?’
They both sprang apart when they heard a piping little voice coming from the doorway. Heather blushed when she saw Luke and Josh watching them with undisguised interest. Ross muttered something under his breath and she bit back a gurgle of laughter at his obvious embarrassment at having his nephews catch him out.
‘Hi, guys. I see you’re awake at last,’ he said with forced cheerfulness. ‘I bet you’re both starving so how do you fancy stopping off at the drive-through burger bar on our way home?’
‘Is Heather your girlfriend, Uncle Ross?’ Luke wasn’t about to be sidetracked by the promise of food. ‘Mummy said it was ’bout time you found a proper girlfriend and settled down.’
‘Did she indeed? Remind me to have a word with her.’ Ross couldn’t hide his discomfort and Heather burst out laughing.
‘Remember that saying about out of the mouths of babes.’
‘Are you and Uncle Ross going to get married?’ Josh obviously decided it was time he added his ten pence worth to the discussion. He smiled angelically at Heather. ‘That would mean your little girl would be our sister, wouldn’t it?’
‘No, it wouldn’t, dummy! Mummy’s new baby is our sister,’ Luke corrected scornfully, mercifully saving her from having to think up an answer. ‘Heather’s little girl will be our…What will she be, Uncle Ross?’
‘I’ve no idea but it’s high time I took you two home and let Heather have some peace and quiet.’
Ross strode across the room and briskly ushered the boys into the hall, sighing when Josh explained that he needed to go to the bathroom. ‘I suppose you’d both better go, but be quick.’ He waited until the twins were out of earshot then turned to Heather and grimaced.
‘Sorry about that. I don’t know where they get their ideas from.’
‘I suppose it’s logical, really. They saw you holding me and put two and two together.’
‘Mmm, but we all know where that can lead. It’s easy to add things together and end up with a wrong answer.’
There was a note in his voice which told her that it had been more than a passing comment. ‘Meaning what exactly?’
‘That I don’t want you coming up with any wrong answers, Heather. Just because I’ve admitted how I feel about you, it doesn’t mean that I expect you to feel the same.’
He didn’t say anything more as the boys came racing back. Heather bent and hugged them, relieved that she hadn’t needed to reply. Undoubtedly, Ross had been right to warn her not to get carried away but she couldn’t ignore what had happened. Ross had told her that he loved her—what woman could ignore a declaration like that?
Her heart seemed to swell to double its normal size at the thought so that it was hard to act naturally as she showed them out. Ross paused on the step as the boys dashed down the path. ‘Thanks again for looking after them, Heather. I really appreciate it.’
‘It was my pleasure,’ she said sincerely.
‘It wasn’t too dreadful for you?’ he asked softly.
‘No,’ she replied, knowing that he hadn’t been alluding to her looking after the twins. ‘It’s time I tried to deal with what happened to Stewart.’
‘But don’t push yourself too hard. Promise?’
‘Promise.’ She smiled up at him, loving the way his eyes had filled with concern. It was proof of just how much Ross cared about her. When he bent and dropped a kiss on her lips she had to stop herself clinging to him.
‘I’ll have to go before the natives get restless,’ he said lightly as he straightened, but Heather could hear the breathy note in his voice and knew that he’d found it just as hard to break the contact.
‘Maybe I’ll see you at the hospital later,’ she suggested.
‘I’ll look forward to it.’
With one last light kiss on her cheek he turned and strode down the path. Heather waited while he got the twins settled in the back seat. He beeped the horn in a brief farewell and drove away.
Heather was just about to shut the door when she saw her mother and Grace crossing the road. She held out her arms as Grace came hurtling towards her, lifting the little girl up into the air and swinging her round.
‘More swings,’ Grace clamoured when she stopped.
‘Later, darling. We’ll both be dizzy if I don’t stop now.’
‘Was that Ross driving away?’ Sandra as
ked, walking up the path.
‘Yes, he came to pick up the boys.’ Heather carried Grace inside and unzipped her coat. ‘Did you have a lovely time at the park, sweetheart?’
‘Went on woundabout,’ Grace informed her, dragging her arms out of the coat sleeves.
‘Roundabout,’ Heather automatically corrected. She hung the coat on a peg and smiled at her daughter. ‘Sounds as though you had fun.’
‘Uh-huh!’ Grace ran down the hall and disappeared into the sitting room and a moment later Heather heard the sound of toys being emptied from the toy box.
‘I don’t know where she gets her energy from,’ Sandra remarked, hanging up her jacket. ‘Roast chicken for tea. I’ll just pop it in the oven.’
‘Lovely,’ Heather murmured.
She took a deep breath as her mother hurried away. She’d worked hard to create a stable life for Grace. She’d told herself that she was content so long as her daughter was safe and happy, but the situation had changed now that Ross had admitted he loved her. Whether she would be brave enough to return his feelings was still in question, but she hoped so. Letting herself love Ross would heal the wounds from the past and open up the future for her. She could have everything she’d ever dreamt about if she could only find the courage to put her fears behind her at last.
Ross arranged for the twins to stay the night with one of their friends. He got them dressed and packed a bag with clean nightclothes. Normally, the boys enjoyed sleeping over at Jeremy’s house but they weren’t happy about being left that day. It was difficult to make them understand why they couldn’t go with him to see their mother. Ross knew that Kate would still be attached to the monitoring equipment and he didn’t want to risk scaring them. As he drove to the hospital, he found himself wondering if he should ask Heather to have a word with them. She seemed to have the gift of setting their minds at rest.
He sighed as he drove in through the hospital’s main gates. Using the twins as an excuse to see Heather was beyond the pale. He needed to give her some space after what had happened. The last thing he wanted was for Heather to feel…well, pressured into returning his feelings.
He parked the car and made his way to the intensive care unit. It was shortly before five and the same staff nurse was on duty. She smiled when she saw him. ‘Ah, Mr Tanner, I’ve been trying to get hold of you but your phone was switched off.’
‘I must have forgotten to switch it on when I left here,’ he exclaimed, feeling fear grip him. ‘There’s nothing wrong with Kate, is there?’
‘No, your sister is fine.’ The nurse smiled reassuringly. ‘Your brother-in-law has arrived and I thought I might be able to save you a journey if you knew he was here.’
‘That was kind of you,’ Ross said shakily. ‘I wasn’t expecting Mike to get here so soon. He told me there were problems with the air traffic control system.’
‘So I believe. Anyway, Mr Lawrence is with your sister at the moment so if you’d wait in the lounge, I’ll let him know you’re here. We can only allow one visitor per bed, I’m afraid.’
‘I understand, but, please, don’t disturb him. I expect he’ll want to spend some time alone with Kate.’
Ross glanced round as another visitor arrived. Mike’s arrival had taken some of the pressure off him and he couldn’t help feeling relieved. He decided that he may as well take a break and turned to the nurse again.
‘I’ll go and have a cup of coffee. Will you tell Mike that I’ll be back later?’
Ross left the intensive care unit and made his way downstairs but instead of going into the café, he went outside instead. A fine mist of rain was falling now but he was barely aware of it as he walked down the drive. So much had happened in the past couple of days that it was difficult to think clearly. One minute his life had been going along as normal and the next it had been in chaos.
What had Heather said to him once about the unexpected happening? She’d been right. The worst thing was that now he understood why she’d said that. Her life had fallen into complete disarray after her fiancé had been killed so tragically. No wonder she was afraid of falling in love again, especially with a man like him who lived with danger on a daily basis.
Ross groaned because that thought had struck like a knife between his shoulder blades. He loved Heather but would it be right to risk her happiness by letting her love him in return? What if something happened to him? Could he bear to think that he might be responsible for shattering her life a second time?
He looked back at the hospital and there was an ache in his heart because he knew the answer to every one of those questions. He couldn’t and wouldn’t do anything to hurt Heather, and if that meant him walking away from her then he would have to find the strength to do so.
It was another busy night in the accident and emergency unit. Heather was run off her feet from the moment she arrived. There was no chance of her slipping away to see Ross because Ben had phoned in sick again. It meant there was only Rob to share the workload and he wasn’t up to dealing with anything too serious.
Heather delegated all the minor problems to him—the cuts and bruises and simple sprains—while she dealt with the more serious cases. There was no time to take a break so she made do with a cup of tea in between seeing patients.
‘I don’t know where they’re all coming from,’ Abby declared, adding another patient’s name to the whiteboard. ‘It’s never usually this busy on a Thursday night.’
‘Maybe we’ll have an easy night tomorrow,’ Heather suggested, blowing on her tea to cool it. She felt her heart jolt as she remembered how Ross had done the same thing not long ago—blown on her tea to cool it. It made her feel all warm and tingly just to think about it.
‘Oh, it must be love!’ Abby grinned when Heather looked blankly at her. ‘When was the last time we were slack on a Friday night?’
‘I’m not sure,’ she replied cautiously. ‘It’s usually one of our busiest times.’
‘Exactly! Which means you would need to be so much in love that your brain cells are scrambled to suggest that we might, quote ‘‘have an easy night tomorrow’’.’ Abby folded her arms across her ample bosom. ‘So who’s the lucky man, then, Heather? Or do I really need to ask that after what I witnessed this morning in the office?’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Heather said, blushing.
‘No? So I didn’t catch you and the delectable Ross Tanner in a passionate clinch?’
‘I was just trying to comfort him,’ Heather replied shortly. ‘He was upset about his sister.’
‘Ah, I see. That explains it. You were showing him due concern and sympathy, just as you would for any relative? I suppose that’s why you took his nephews home with you, was it? Because you felt it was your duty as a caring professional?’
‘How did you know I took the boys home?’ Heather exclaimed. ‘You’d already gone by the time I left here.’
‘That’s true but Mel saw you. Her boyfriend’s car had broken down outside and they were waiting for the mechanic to arrive. She saw you driving off with the twins in Ross Tanner’s car.’
‘I thought Mel was keen on Ben so how come she’s going out with someone else?’ Heather said quickly, trying to steer the conversation away from herself because it made her feel uncomfortable to know that people were speculating about her and Ross. Her heart gave the oddest little hiccup because the words ‘her and Ross’ had felt so wonderful.
‘Mel’s view is simple. If Ben isn’t interested then there’s plenty of men who are. She certainly doesn’t intend to sit at home moping.’ Abby smiled kindly. ‘Maybe you should take a leaf out of Mel’s book. You can’t grieve for ever, Heather, no matter how much you loved someone.’
The phone rang and Abby answered it. Heather hurriedly finished her tea then paid a visit to the loo before she saw her next patient. She sighed when she saw how strained she looked as she caught sight of herself in the mirror over the basin as she washed her hands. Was Abby right? Should she
have tried harder to get over Stewart’s death?
For the first time in years it felt as though there were question marks instead of full stops, possibilities instead of finalities. Ross had told her that he loved her and it had opened the way to so much, but she had to be sure about what she was doing. Ross did a highly dangerous job and she had to be certain she could deal with the constant fear that something might happen to him.
She frowned. And yet what was the alternative? Could she really imagine telling him that she didn’t want to see him again and spending the rest of her life regretting what she had done? All of a sudden that thought was far more scary than any other.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
‘I CAN’T thank you enough for everything you’ve done, Ross.’
‘I was glad to help. So long as Kate is all right, that’s all that matters.’ Ross clapped his brother-in-law on the shoulder. They were in the visitors’ lounge, taking a break after spending the night at Kate’s bedside. Ross had insisted that they should take it in turns to sit with her because Mike had been worn out after his long journey. However, the good news was that Kate was now stable enough to be taken off sedatives and they were currently waiting for her to wake up.
Ross looked up when one of the nurses popped her head round the door. She laughed when both men shot to their feet.
‘No need to panic. It’s good news. Mrs Lawrence is awake. She’s a bit woozy from the medication but she’s demanding to see her baby and that’s definitely a good sign.’
‘Thank heavens for that!’ Ross exclaimed in relief. He briskly steered his brother-in-law towards the door. ‘Off you go, then. Give Kate my love and tell her that I’ll see her later. And tell her not to worry about the twins because I’ve got everything under control.’
‘I will. Thanks, Ross.’ Mike looked as though a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders as he hurried after the nurse.
Ross picked up his sweater and left. It was just after six a.m. and the night staff were going off duty. When the lift reached his floor it was packed so he used the stairs instead. He paused when he reached the ground floor. He’d deliberately not sought Heather out because he still hadn’t decided what he should do, but the thought of going home without seeing her was more than he could bear. He veered off towards the accident and emergency unit and laughed when he rounded a bend in the corridor and saw her coming towards him.
Saving Dr. Cooper Page 15