by Michael Fine
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"I read it in a single day."
- Becky
"Mike Fine’s debut novel is filled with the kind of dark characters you secretly want to succeed. It is provocative around every corner. Loved it!"
- Fern
"I loved it. Really entertaining."
- Neeraj
"I couldn’t put it down. And I absolutely loved the ending!"
- Zach
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Copyright © 2020 by Michael C. Fine
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without written permission from the copyright owner except for the use of quotations in a book review.
Book Cover Design by ebooklaunch.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
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For my children, who light up my life with a brilliance that still boggles my mind.
Many thanks to my early readers, Fern, Zach, Vicki, Wendy, Lindsay, Jeremy, Lisa, and Vivien. Your feedback made the book far better than it would have been without your help. Thank you to my editor, Kurt Lipschutz, who helped flesh out my characters and added a healthy dose of humanity and artistry.
Writing can be a solitary slog and I can’t thank Vivien and Jeremy enough for being "creative buddies" over the past few years. Thank you, too, to Joan and Adam, both of whom provided encouragement at the very early stages of this effort. I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for your warmth and generosity.
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The decision whether or not to bear a child is central to a woman’s life, to her well-being and dignity. It is a decision she must make for herself.
When Government controls that decision for her, she is being treated as less than a fully adult human responsible for her own choices.
~ Ruth Bader Ginsburg
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Thanks for reading Children of Hope. I sincerely hope you enjoy reading it. Even more, I hope this book makes you think and—if at all possible—become active in defending women’s reproductive rights, which remain under fierce attack by religious extremists, misogynists, control freaks, and misguided souls across the country.
And now, on to the show…
Foreword
In the United States, there is a reported rape every 6.2 minutes. One in five women will be raped in her lifetime.
Between 1815 and 1861, a complete structure of church and Christian faith-based organizations made up what came to be called the Benevolent Empire, an interlocking network of missionary and supporting organizations devoted to Christianizing America and the world.
Ten states—Arkansas, Idaho, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Dakota, Missouri, Tennessee, South Dakota, and Utah—have “trigger laws,” statutes that will automatically ban all abortion if Roe v. Wade is overturned.
Chapter One
Thursday, July 4
Louisiana State Fair
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Hope Hunter
It was supposed to have been such a nice day.
Angel and I finished our chores around the farm, showered, and put on our nicest dresses. I drove down the 19 and the 110 to Baton Rouge. I made sure to stay under the speed limit, like I’d been doing for years, making sure not to draw attention to myself. Technically, while I had my driver’s permit, I still didn’t have my license. Of course, I’d been doing a lot of stuff I’m really not supposed to do since Mom left almost three years ago. So we stay off the radar, literally. And I’ve gotten pretty good at forging her signature when I need to. In case you’re wondering, Dad’s been gone since the day after Angel was born and I turned two. That was over fourteen years ago.
We got down to the fairgrounds in about forty-five minutes, by about five o’clock. The fiery orange sun was low in a cloudless sky. I parked the truck under a massive cow oak, hoping the shade would help keep Dad’s old truck cool.
Angel looked so cute in my old lavender-colored sundress. She’d curled her long strawberry blonde hair so her wavy locks spilled over her shoulders, and put on a bit of lip gloss, too. At fourteen, she’s already developed sizable breasts, which overflowed a bit out of the top of the dress. Even though I’m two years older, I’m still waiting for my chest to develop; maybe if I had ’em, I’d flaunt ’em too. I don’t know. In any event, I didn’t say anything. I wore my yellow church dress with little white stars all over it. My shoulder-length blonde hair hung straight, like always; I don’t like to spend time curling it.
The fair was enormous. There were dozens of rides and all the popular carnival games: ring toss, dime pitch, balloon darts, and so many more. It looked like there were cotton candy and candy apple stands every ten feet. I smelled buttery popcorn as soon as we approached the ticket booth.
“This place is—” I started to say.
“Enormbo,” Angel said, completing my thought.
“Jumbnormous,” I replied. Maybe it was because we were born on the exact same day two years apart or maybe it’s because we’ve been on our own together for so long, but we complete each other’s thoughts most of the time. This was one of our favorite games.
“Monstrossal.”
“Collostrous.”
“Garping.”
“Whopgantuan,” I said after a beat.
By this time, I was laughing so hard I couldn’t see through the tears in my eyes. Angel, too.
I’d brought enough money to pay for a pack of ride tickets for each of us, and we each brought a small amount of spending money. As soon as we had our tickets, Angel asked, “Can I get some cotton candy?” She pointed to the nearest stand, just a few feet away.
“Up to you. It’s your money,” I said. “You can get it if you want but you only have, what, ten dollars?” Even though she’s been gone all this time, Mom instilled the discipline that we spend our money wisely. Well, at least I’d learned that lesson; Angel was still trying to.
“You’re right,“ Angel said. She frowned, but only for a split second. Her radiant smile came right back, bracketed by her cute dimples. “Let’s go on the Tilt-a-Whirl!” She grabbed my hand and tugged me toward the ride.
We only had to wait a few minutes before we got on. Angel couldn’t stop smiling the entire time we were spinning. I love seeing her smile. We kept our hands up in the air the whole time.
As we were getting off the ride, an older lady wearing a light blue windbreaker a few feet in front of us dropped to the ground just outside the ride’s exit gate. I rushed forward and knelt down near her head. A young boy, maybe ten years old, was next to her crying, saying “Grandma! Grandma!” over and over.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Yes, I think so.” the woman said. She smiled weakly. She turned her head and said “I’m okay, sweetheart” to her grandson, as she patted his hand.
“Can you feel your fingers and your toes?” I asked. She nodded. “Any head or neck pain?” She shook her head. “Okay then, let’s get you up. Nice and slow.” People were just walking right by, the jerks.
I turned to the boy and asked, “What’s your name?” He answered, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Okay, Zach. Will you help me get her up? You take that side.” The kid was shaking, but I could see resolve in his bright blue eyes.
I held her right elbow and wrapped my left arm around her waist while her grandson held her left elbow. Slowly, we helped her to her feet.
“How do you feel?” I asked the woman again.
“I’m okay. Really I am. Thank you very much young lady,” she said. To her grandson s
he said, “I think that ride was a bit too much for me, Zachary. Let’s go get some lemonade and sit for a while, okay?”
Zachary looked up at me. Tears still filled his eyes but none dripped down his cheeks now. Then he did something that I’ll always remember: he reached his little hand out to shake mine and said, “Thank you very much for helping my grandma.”
I crouched down so our eyes were at the same level and said, “You’re welcome. Maybe it’s a good idea if you let your grandmother sit out the next few rides. What do you say?”
He smiled, bobbed his head up and down, grabbed his grandmother’s hand and the two walked toward a nearby picnic table. I could see him wiping his tears away with his free hand.
Angel crushed me in a big hug. “Wow. You are so amazing, Hope!” Angel said as she let go. “You know exactly what to do when people need help. You’re amazing.”
“Thanks sis. Lucky I had that nursing class last year,” I said, deflecting her praise. I hugged my little sister back.
“Come on,” she said. “Let’s go on that roller coaster that goes upside down.”
After a few rides, I looked at my phone to check the time. It was about ten minutes before 6:00, which was when the boys were supposed to meet us just inside the entrance. I told Angel that we should start heading back to meet them.
“What do you know about Todd’s cousin?” Angel asked. Todd was a boy from our school. He was going to be a senior in high school in the fall like me, but, at seventeen, he was a year older because I skipped the third grade. He was really nice and was pretty much the only boy at school that didn’t gross me out. Derek, his second cousin from Texas, was also seventeen. I’d made sure to tell Todd to tell Derek that Angel was only fourteen. Todd said that Derek was cool with that.
“Not much, really,” I answered. “I know he plays football and basketball at his high school.” I turned to face her directly and added, “Be careful, Angel. He’s three years older than you and—I don’t know—he seems like a punk to me.”
Angel nodded but I could tell she didn’t really hear me. I knew that she’d looked up Derek on social media and pretty much every time I saw her on her phone she was looking at the pictures he’d posted of himself throwing a pass, shooting a basket, or staring into the camera with smoldering eyes. That’s how I’d formed my opinion of him… all the pictures he posted were of himself, without teammates or friends.
On our way back to the entrance, we spotted a young girl sitting alone at a card table with a sign that said KITTENS $10 and a large cardboard box full of kittens climbing all over each other. I suspected her “booth” wasn’t sanctioned by the people who ran the fair. Angel, who loves animals—she wants to be a veterinarian—made a beeline to the table.
“Can I hold one?” Angel asked the girl. Angela’s hands were almost in the box by the time the girl said yes. She pulled out a little grey guy with white spots on each of his paws. He purred as Angel stroked him. “Does he have a name?”
“Nope. You get to name him if you buy him,” the girl said. “Only ten dollars.” She looked around, as if on lookout for someone official who might come by and shut her down.
Angel looked at me with her big blue eyes as wide as they’ll go.
“Maybe you should wait until later, until after we’re done with the guys?” I suggested to Angel.
I was about to ask the girl how late she was going to be there when she said, “I’m just about to close up for the night.” I couldn’t tell if she was being honest or not.
Angel kept looking at me with her wide eyes. “What do you say, Hope?”
“It’s your money,” I said. “If you get the kitten, it means no cotton candy.” “And,” I quickly added, “you have to take care of him; I’ve got too many AP classes next year.”
“I’ll take him!” Angel squealed. She quickly handed her ten-dollar bill to the girl, who gave Angel a small brown cardboard box in which to carry the kitty. Angel put the little guy into the box and stroked him. “Hello, Xander,” Angel cooed to the kitten, whom she’d apparently already named after one of the iconic characters played by one of her favorite actors, Vin Diesel. She stroked and prattled to the kitten the entire walk back to meet the guys.
Todd and Derek were standing just inside the entrance when we walked up. Todd was as cute as ever. His blonde hair is a bit unruly. Shaggy even. He beamed a bright smile and came toward me to give me a hug and a quick kiss. We’ve kissed a few times, but nothing more than that. Maybe someday. Someday soon. He really is a sweet guy.
Derek waited for Angel to walk up to him before he finally said, “You must be Angel.” I swear I saw his eyes travel up and down her body a half a dozen times before he greeted her. “I’m Todd’s cousin from Houston, Derek.” Before Angel could say anything, Derek moved in and hugged her tightly, and for a beat longer than appropriate. Angel almost dropped the box when she had to swing it to her hip so her new kitten wouldn’t be crushed. She backed away, a bit flustered, and said, “Nice to meet you.” I could see she was blushing.
The boys treated us to a few games of dime pitch, the squirt gun race game, and balloon darts. Derek won every time except for one time when I won a squirt gun race. I could tell he was fuming that he’d lost. What a competitive jerk. I was quickly confirming my initial opinion of the guy: I didn’t like him one bit.
For a while, we just walked around the carnival, taking in the sights and sounds. Angel and Derek walked together in front of Todd and me. At one point, she rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped both of her arms around one of his. Later, he put his arm over her shoulder. I suppose that would have been fine except he made a point of wrapping it all the way over, so his hand was pretty much hovering over her chest.
“Hey Derek,” I called out.
I’m pretty sure he heard me, but he didn’t acknowledge me or turn around.
“Hey douchebag,” I barked. “Watch it.” Since our mother’s been gone, I’m the closest thing to a mom Angel’s got. I get pretty protective of her, I guess.
He must’ve known what I meant, because he moved his arm back to where his hand rested on Angel’s shoulder. Todd shot me a look, but I shot him one back and he backed off, wordlessly.
After walking around for ten or fifteen minutes, we all went on the Tilt-a-Whirl! ride and then a rickety old wooden roller coaster that wasn’t scary but jostled your insides. I found myself hoping young Zachary hadn’t asked his grandmother to go on that ride.
We stopped for cokes as the sun was setting—Todd treated, which was nice—and then Todd looked at me and said, “Let’s go on the Ferris Wheel.” I looked over at Angel, who had her fingers intertwined with Derek and was giggling at something he’d whispered into her ear.
“Let’s do it,” I said. “Angel, Derek? You guys ready?”
Angel didn’t take her eyes off of Derek when she replied, “You guys go on ahead.”
I was reluctant, but it seemed like Angel liked Derek and I figured at least they were out in public. I left the table with Todd and we walked toward the Ferris wheel in the distance. I glanced back toward Angel and Derek, but there were too many people between us and the table for me to see them.
Todd put his arm around my shoulder as we walked to the Ferris wheel. “Having a good time?” he asked. I liked that he cared. My answer was to pull him closer and give him a squeeze. We walked like this past the strongman game, where a middle-aged guy was sweating and panting while his girlfriend or wife stood waiting for him to finally give up, and the rope ladder, where five kids tipped over and fell off within moments of each other. I still have no idea how to win at that stupid game.
We boarded the Ferris Wheel and slowly rose as other passengers were loaded into the other cars after us. At some point, we got high enough where I could see the table where we’d stopped for cokes and I could see Angel and Derek still sitting there. It seemed like Derek was sitting way closer to Angel than before, but I really couldn’t tell for sure from so far away and so hi
gh up.
Finally, everyone was loaded and the Ferris Wheel started to go around without stopping. Todd turned to me, grabbed my hands in his, and leaned in to kiss me. The motion of the ride and the sounds and lights of the carnival and Todd’s warm, soft lips were dizzying.
We were locked in the most glorious kiss for two full cycles of the ride when I felt my phone buzz. Without breaking lip contact, I shifted my hips forward a bit, pulled my phone out of my back pocket, and looked at the message. It was from Angel, and it was just one word, if you could call it that:
Hwlp
As soon as my brain registered that Angel was in trouble, I pulled away from Todd and called out to get the attention of the kid running the ride. As we swept by the bottom of the ride, I yelled as loudly as I could, but the idiot had his face buried in his phone. I kept screaming as we rose, knowing I was wasting my breath. As we swept past the bottom of the ride a second time, I kept yelling, but the kid still didn’t hear me. I needed to do something!
I had no idea how many more times the ride was going to go around, and I didn’t really know if I’d be able to get the attention of the kid running the ride. I examined the structure of the ride and realized there were radial struts from each bucket to the center of the wheel. Todd was shocked when I stood up and jumped onto the strut for our bucket.
I scampered down the strut, keeping my arms wrapped tightly around the metal and using the small holes in the metal as toe holds. Eventually I got to the center of the wheel. By this time, a bunch of people had noticed me and at least one of them got the attention of the kid, who hit the emergency stop button. As the ride slowed, I climbed down the center post. Before the wheel stopped spinning, I’d already hit the ground and was running toward the table where we’d left Angel and Derek. They weren’t there.