The three of them exchanged glances before shaking their heads. "No."
I gawked at their unison reply. "You're saying that all three of you are fine with your triple hybrid fiancée who has a bunch of triggers and can go on 'I'll kill everyone' rampages?"
"Ya," Liam replied.
"Yup," Pix agreed.
"Sure." Brian shrugged. "Besides, you kind of go on an 'I kill everyone' rampage when no one waters Rin and Saturn."
I gave him an annoyed look before I thought about it. "DID YOU WATER THEM?!"
The three of them frowned, Pix and Liam looking at Brian before pointing their fingers at him. "He was supposed to water them. Kill him first," Pix announced.
"Sorry, Bro. I still want a few more years in this world. I'll make sure your funeral is nice and pretty."
"Fuck the both of you! What happened to man's honor?!"
Dad sighed and placed a hand on my shoulder to calm me down. "I've been taking care of your cacti since your men would kill them with their lack of love, time, and attention."
It took five seconds for me to beam at Dad, wrapping an arm around him. "Thank you, Dad!"
"How did she switch from murderous intent to happy in five seconds?" Brian noted.
"Just be lucky she didn't kill you before her dad told her," Liam argued.
"Too bad. I would have got the best flowers for the funeral," Pix muttered.
The twins both looked at him as he shrugged. "Brian always tries to take my bacon. I would have gotten payback and got him black flowers."
"Sometimes, you're really scary," Brian noted, moving a bit to hide behind Liam, who shook his head.
"It's your fault for always bothering him when he's in cat form."
"His fault. Always taking my socks."
"You hid my furball keychain again!" Pix accused as if he'd just remembered.
"Oh, nah. We're not having this argument." Brian huffed. "I'm too sore to fight you. Keep your claws to yourself."
Dad cleared his throat, the four of us looking at him as he gave me a gentle stroke on my head. I let go of him and he smiled.
"As I was saying. I wouldn't have been so easygoing if I hadn’t made sure they knew that bit of information and were fine with it."
I pouted my lips, but deep down I knew Dad wouldn't share too much of my past.
Enough for them to make a decision they wouldn't regret.
Slowly looking back at the others, I gave them a troubled look. "You guys seriously aren't afraid?"
Now that I knew they had seen me before in Eclipse Mode, I wasn't sure what to think.
Were they okay with that side of me? Even if it was on the line of insanity at times?
Brian smiled. "It's not a problem. It's a part of you, and I'm sure you wouldn't hurt any of us anyways."
"Exactly," Liam replied. "And a few scratches here and there is fine."
"Scratches? If I hadn’t warned you, she would have magically sliced you-OW," Pix began but was cut short when Brian elbowed him in the gut. "Cat down. Must have been the aftereffect of that training session."
"I'm gonna shed my fur in everything you eat," he muttered.
"Go ahead. I'm a wolf. Don't mind a bit of hair." Brian shrugged.
"And freeze your balls."
"Now leave my balls out of this!" Brian snapped.
Liam just stared at the two of them before walking over to stand in front of me. He moved a few strands of my messy hair and smiled. "We love you. That will never change."
"What if I become evil and go on to destroy the world?" I tested, maintaining my pouty expression. My words seemed to mean nothing to him, his face moving closer until our lips practically touched.
"Then we'll just have to come along and destroy the world with you." He kissed my lips softly. I smiled against his, deepening the kiss while I heard Pix sigh.
"If we're going to destroy the world, does that mean I'd get to have as much bacon as I want?"
"That's your only concern? You'd have to buy all of it. Or you could threaten the government to give you bacon as ransom. Maybe ask them for steak too."
"I guess we'd have to add blood as well. We could get them to donate a cactus garden to Sia."
"Donate? We'd just demand it," Brian replied.
"Good point. Sounds tempting."
The deep rumble of someone clearing their throat broke the spell between Liam and me. The two of us looked at Dad, who raised an eyebrow at us.
My cheeks grew red, realizing I'd just been making out with Liam with my dad right there. Liam, on the other hand, simply hugged me, pressing a kiss on my head.
"You're absolutely right. We love your daughter and I'm sure you wouldn't allow us to love her if you didn't trust us. She's changed each of us in her own unique way."
I noticed Pix and Brian move up to stand at our sides.
"Which means no matter what, we'll always support and love her," Brian concluded.
"Even if she cuts Brian's and Liam's balls off. They'll still love and forgive her," Pix added.
"Exactly," the twins replied. "Wait. What?!"
I glanced at Dad, who seemed pleased by their answer, and I couldn't help but mouth to him, "I love you, Dad."
His face seemed to brighten and he mouthed back, "I love you too."
* * *
Their acceptance was heartwarming, and from my dad's expression, he appeared happy for me. To find a group of men who loved me, regardless of my flaws and triggers.
Now I was on my way back to my old flat because Nick had accidentally shipped Saturn and Rin to my old place instead of the temporary apartment I had reserved.
The guys wanted us to find a place where we could all live, but getting the perfect home in the busy city of New York was extremely difficult. My dad said we should let him know the general area and he'd work his magic, but I highly doubted he'd be able to get something so soon.
"It'll be a quick pick and go. Alexander is probably at work or sleeping," I reassured Pix.
He'd wanted to come with me, but I didn't want to wake him up. He was far too adorable when he was asleep and I knew he was just as exhausted from the magic training we did.
There was a lot for me to learn, but Dad was able to show us mostly defensive magic spells. From simple barriers to ones that prohibited the enemy from contacting backup, whether it was through a bond like their wolf pack or using cellular devices. There was a really strong one that didn't allow anyone in unless the person who cast it permitted them.
I couldn't get the knack of it the first time, but Pix had nailed it with ease. He'd been teaching us every evening since we'd returned from vacation. I wasn't confident yet, but I was slowly getting there.
At least it was nice to learn at a slower pace than to be tortured constantly to reach a level of perfection.
Or face the consequences.
Since Pix was giving the three of us lessons, I wanted him to sleep while I did this quick errand. Brian and Liam were checking up on their business while investigating some shady activity in the area.
During our long absence, it seemed as though the crime rate had tripled in the area. It was so bad the shifter police department had gotten involved and were doing a full investigation while giving our buildings extra security.
It must have been the work of the wolf pack that wanted to cause war with the other shifter races. We didn't necessarily have a name for the group, but the police assured us they were tracking their every move.
Personally, I never put my trust in the authorities, simply because there were still so many flaws in the system. I could handle myself, in most cases; I just needed to work on my wolf side.
We hadn't shifted or joined into the daily training we were supposed to do, because Brian had admitted he wanted to wait a bit longer. He was confident in my abilities, but he wanted to integrate me into the pack dynamics slowly.
After my confrontation, I think the pack was a tad scared of me, but the plan was to do a few runs with Annie and
work my way up. I hadn't seen her in a while, but Brian brushed it off when I asked, saying she was dealing with family trouble. She was the weakest wolf in the pack, which usually meant she got walked over by everyone in her family.
Even neighboring wolves who had no relation to her could stomp over her and she'd have no place to speak back. It made me upset that some wolves had to live such lifestyles, but that was the shifter world for you.
There would always be shifters at the top and bottom of the food chain, a fate you just had to accept.
"I guess," Pix mumbled. "I'm bored."
"If being bored means you're going to somehow find your way to my old apartment, I'll use a spell to make you fall asleep."
"You don't know what spell to use."
"True, but you answered my suspicions," I replied with an amused tone. "You need some rest."
"Maybe," He replied. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine. Eclipse Mode has levels to it...I think?" I admitted, trying to recall them.
"You don't remember them half the time, though?" Pix clarified.
"It honestly depends on the situation. If I'm dealing with a physical shock that triggers it, I don't recall it. Very few instances when I was much younger, but those memories have faded now. When it's a mental shock, I'll remember it, unless I go into that tick-tock stage."
"The one your Dad commented on?" Pix questioned.
I didn't respond right away, trying to figure out how much to say. Pix continued. "Sia, you know I won't judge you."
"I know." My voice was barely a whisper. "It's just difficult to talk about that specific side. It's basically borderline insanity. Or maybe killing spree Sia-mode." I whispered the second part, not wanting the driver to snoop in on my conversation.
"What happens when it's triggered?" he asked. "It's different from when you were triggered by the poison?"
"Let's just say I'm kind of cynical, borderline crazy and say tick-tock over and over again."
"That's where it derived its name," Pix acknowledged.
"Yup," I replied, noticing the familiar streets.
I was pretty close to my old place with Alexander, but the afternoon traffic was delaying the usual two minute drive left.
"The mental shock to my brain flips my personality completely. My focus is on eliminating the threat or doing anything to...how would I say it? Return the favor? Like Karma."
"You mean if say a person mentally triggers you by throwing a ball to your head, you'd do the same to them but at a deadlier degree?" Pix elaborated.
"Sort of. It would be more like I'd throw the ball to disable the person before continuing the deed until they were almost dead. The I'd judge whether they deserve to live or not."
I noticed the Uber driver’s shocked eyes in the rearview mirror and I gave him a sweet grin. He looked back at the road, but I noticed his slight tremble.
Poor guy doesn’t want to see that side of me. Actually, I doubt anyone would want to.
"Has Alexander seen that side of you?" Pix questioned. It was an odd question that I normally wouldn't answer, but I didn't see the need to refrain from telling Pixel.
"Once. Before my dad really interfered in my mom's madness, she'd let other men 'train' my power. It was basically 'If you can stop the incubi from doing what they want, they have to leave'." I mocked my Mother's voice and held back a laugh. "Stupid me. Every single time I'd fail and that meant the incubus could literally do whatever."
Pix was silent, but my magic seemed to pulse in sizzling anger. My wolf had been listening in and the mere mention of it made her growl. I took a deep breath to center myself, hoping my magic and my wolf would also calm down.
It's in the past. They can't harm me anymore.
My wolf sat back down, but she still growled from time to time. When Pix still didn't say anything, I carried on.
"When I was sixteen, it was the last straw for me and I commanded my mom to...end me." I had to switch my words, getting a tad annoyed that the Uber driver kept staring back at me. I cleared my throat and let my succubus side take over.
"My conversation is not your concern. Focus on the road, tune out everything but the traffic around us. You will remember nothing of my conversation nor my existence once I leave this car. Understood?" I snarled.
"Yes, ma'am," the Uber driver replied, his eyes dulling as his focus was solely on the road. I took a second to relax and calm my energy before returning to the conversation.
"As I was saying, I tried to kill myself by commanding my mom to finish the deed. My dad interfered before it was too late, doing one of his magical 'just in the nick of time' check-ins and I told him what was happening and that I didn't want children. I think my mom's game plan was for one of the men to get me pregnant? I'm not really sure what her motive was honestly, but once I told my dad, he promised it would never happen again. Since that day, no more men came over."
"You had a dream related to one of those incidents?" Pix’s voice was neutral, but I'm sure he was super angry and trying to hide it.
"Something like that. There was one man who was like a regular. He scared me the most."
"Sia," Pix's voice was gentle. "You don't need to talk about it if it frightens you."
"It...doesn't," I defended.
"You're whispering, baby," he replied. I hadn't realized I had been, but I felt like I wanted him to know. Now that Alexander wasn't my safety net like before, it was about time I told someone else.
"I want to tell you," I quietly confessed.
"Okay, but if it's too much, you can stop at any time," Pix assured me. I nodded, even though he wasn't physically there to see it.
"He did things that I'm sure if I was older would have made more sense. It could be one of the many reasons why I'm claustrophobic and hate being pinned down. I don't freak out like I used to, but when I first moved in with Alexander, I had this haunting dream. It's always been the same one. That man loved to work in a secluded area. He'd make an even smaller sectioned box with a bit of magic he'd have from some bottle. It was his way off muffling my screams, not that my mother would have done anything. The closed space, the restraints, and pain. That BDSM stuff, but when you’re only fourteen, it's not very pleasurable."
I was talking around the bush, not really getting to the point, but Pix seemed not to mind as he quietly remained on the line.
"One incident took it too far and I went in that tick-tock mode. Mother and the maids didn't find out exactly what had triggered it, but...I'd killed the man. It wasn't in a nice way either. It's a foggy memory, but in my dreams, I remember every bit of it. When Alexander woke me up that time, he was trying to keep me from hurting myself, but when he restrained me against the bed, it triggered me instead. Thankfully, he hadn't ever done anything to harm me which meant I didn't want to harm him in return. The next day I had no choice but to explain the details of my past and my triggers."
"That's why you wish Alexander would be more open with you?" Pix whispered.
"Is it too much to ask?" I countered. "It's not like he needs to tell me everything. Just be straight up rather than pull me along. I’d rather be dumped than lovers one minute and friends the next."
"Sia. You know I'd never do that, right?"
"I know, Pix," I replied, closing my eyes.
I knew deep down his loyalty was unbreakable at this point, especially now that we were engaged. I felt confident in my relationship with all three of them, but a part of me still wanted Alexander in the equation.
Irrational thinking.
"Is it bad that I wish I could just forget? Just poof. Not remember how much I relied on him? Or loved him?" My soft confession made my eyes blur, but I quickly blinked the tears away as the car finally came to a stop.
"We're here, ma'am" the man said. I quickly thanked him and got out of the car.
"It's not bad Sia," Pix whispered. "Sometimes you wish the hurt would disappear."
"Ya. If only there was a spell for that." I giggled. "I'm at my old
place. I'll be quick and back before you know it."
"Okay. I'll keep the bed warm," Pix said with a seductive voice that made my body grow warm in delight. "Make sure there's whipped cream in the fridge," I purred.
Pix chuckled. "I better do my research."
"Hmm. Can't we do that together? The perfect way to get into the mood."
"I'm going to experience many firsts with you, aren't I," he mused.
"Of course," I replied.
"Wouldn't have it any other way," Pix proclaimed.
"I love you." Those three words randomly left my lips, but I couldn't help myself. Our relationship was new, but it felt as though we'd gone through so much together. He was like the perfect balance for me, especially between the twins.
"I love you more, Sia. I'll see you shortly and we do have whipped cream," he assured me.
We exchanged goodbyes before I hung up, looking up at the oh-so familiar building. It almost felt like any other day, before I'd reluctantly gone through my emails and chosen the specific one that led to this adventure.
Closing my eyes, I take another deep breath and head for the entrance.
9
No More Second Chances
"There's my Rin and Saturn. Nick was silly and sent you guys away. I'm sure Dad would have done a better job." I continued with the sweet-talking to my amazing cacti as I made sure to water them just a little bit for the journey to the temporary place.
The place looked so empty without a good portion of my stuff. I'd given exact instructions on what would be taken with me, but I did leave behind anything we'd paid for together.
I knew Alexander could pay for new furniture, but why bother him when he was busy with family stuff?
I had "free" time now, or at least enough to do a bit of online shopping and have things delivered to our new place once we figured out where it would be.
"Let's get you two packed up and away we go," I cooed to my cacti, happy to see they were okay. It seemed my dad was fond of them as well, which was pretty cool. We hadn't gotten time to talk and catch up, but I wasn't worried.
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