Rising to my feet, I took a steady breath, my fisted hands loosening. This was my chance to help her. The golden opportunity Annie had wanted me to grasp.
Sia needed someone to comfort her. To tell her that none of this was her fault. She needed someone who loved her, and though the others loved her immensely, they weren't here. But I was and I wasn't going to deny my crippling adoration for this woman anymore.
It’s time to give her my heart and remind her what a beautiful soul she has.
~SIA~
* * *
Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Annie's death is all my fault.
The thought pulsed through my head on repeat, my eyes staring at the headless body. Nothing else was getting through to me, and deep down, I didn't want it to.
I wanted to be in the middle of the bursting heartbreak and repeated ridicule of what had happened. What I’ve done.
Everything hurt. My body, mind, and soul. I wanted to be lost in the pain forever, to even return to Mother’s side and go back to that lifestyle where all I knew was pain and agony. It was my fault Annie lost her life. My existence was the cause.
If I'd been the weapon my mother had struggled to mold me into, I surely would have been able to destroy that wolf. To keep Annie alive.
I wasn't strong enough. I had failed.
The simple thought continued to promote the constant ticking, and I quietly spoke it over and over again, reminding me that I was still alive and breathing.
"Sia?"
Ignore it. That's right, tick tock. Tick Tock. Annie's death was all my fault.
"Anastasia."
The familiar voice brought a weird sense of emotion to me. It was as though I was missing the tiny piece of a puzzle when it came to what I was supposed to do. That voice was someone.
An important person. I'd promised to do something...but what? It shouldn't have mattered. I was a murderer now. No. I've been one since that man hurt me. Since he took advantage of this body in that cell.
I deserved it. That's what Mother always said. If I didn't have the power to stop it, it was my burden to bare. Annie's death could have been stopped, but I was too weak. I failed her and her death was mine to carry.
"My sweet Anastasia. Please, look at me,"
If it wasn't for how the pleading voiced tugged at my heart, I would have allowed myself to further sink into the dark void of my chaotic, repetitive thoughts.
Turning my head slightly, I noticed a person stood only a few steps away from me. My interest got the better of me, but my quiet tick tocks continued to leave my trembling lips.
I faced the person, meeting their green eyes that shifted to a vivid gold. I knew the man, and yet, I wasn't sure if I wanted to fully recall who he was.
My instincts told me he'd hurt me somehow. The thought of being in more pain was rather inviting, but at the same time, I didn't want to lose sight of why I felt this way.
"Do you know who I am?" The gentleness in his voice made my heart ache, but I didn't want his sympathy. I don't need it.
My silence was my answer. He looked conflicted, unsure what to do. He took a step forward, but I flinched, not wanting him to be near me.
He'll end up dead too.
"Sia, baby. You really don't know who I am?"
The ache in my heart seemed to pulse, reminding me that I knew this man. I love this man. In the back of my mind, I knew there were others, but this man before me was different.
A back-and-forth movement. Up and down, side-to-side, a game of back-and-forth. My mind was rattled, but the devotion in his eyes was suddenly apparent, as they began to fill with tears.
Why is he crying for a murderer like me? Does he not see my body? One that’s cloaked with blood that surely isn't just my own.
Here stood a monster. One who tick-tocked to stay temporarily sane.
I killed Annie. She was important to him. Wasn't she?
How could he reward my sins with those compassionate gold eyes that showed vast emotion? So much forgiveness.
"Sia. It's me, Alexander. Please, remember. I know deep down, you know who I am. What we are to one another."
I ignored the ticks and tocks for a second, allowing my mind to dig deeper — further into myself to retrieve the information he spoke of.
I did know him. It was without a doubt. A journey of ups and downs, two adults simply wanting a chance to find the truths from the lies. It was interesting that out of the previous encounters, in this moment was when I saw the love he had for me.
The deep-rooted love I fight desperately not to see, not because he’s inadequate, but because I don’t think I’m worthy of his love.
He knew all of me. He'd been there through thick and thin. But the stressors and influences around us changed our perspectives of one another. It blinded me from seeing how much he wanted to stay by my side and his frustration could have been the reason why he pulled away from any chance he got.
It took someone's death for me to see all of this, and it made me sad. The melancholy of it all was why my tears welled up and my lip trembled in pure fear of what would come.
They'll be afraid. He...the others. They'll give up on me. They'll hate me forever.
Alexander slowly raised his hands up. "Sia, baby. Don't give me that sad look. I care. You can see it, right?"
I wasn't confident enough to reply, the ticks and tocks trying to reclaim their control in my brain. A whimper escaped me, a plea for help I desperately needed.
Alexander took a step forward. It took everything not to move back. The longer I delayed our confrontation, the better chance of me thinking of a way out.
But where would I go? I have nowhere to belong.
Alexander took another step, but I stepped back, my body practically shaking in fear. It could have been the drop in adrenaline now that my life wasn't at risk, or simply my body trying to run from this confrontation.
I knew emotionally, I wouldn't be able to handle his rejection. It would destroy me.
"Anastasia Hollister." My name rolled off his tongue, but it wasn't out of anger, but an alleviating tone that calmed my nerves just a bit.
"You have every right to be scared. To look at me and not feel safe. I...let you down, multiple times, not because you weren't the woman I needed in my life, but because of my own insecurities and fears. I kept trying to be brave or brushing away my fear, but instead, all that did was push you further away from me. I isolated myself and that left me more lost. I should have talked to you. Taken the many opportunities to tell you how I felt, but I chickened out...and I lost you. I accept that I fucked up. I know I'm not someone who gives you the same comfort that Liam, Brian, and Pix do, but I'm here. I'm standing right here and I want to help you. To hold you and tell you that all of this isn't your fault."
His words were slowly absorbing in my mind, sinking in as the tick tocks lessened while the suffocating feeling grew stronger.
He took another step forward, only two steps away from me. "This isn't your fault. You aren't the culprit here."
"Annie." I choked the name out. "I-I-I k-ill..." My stuttering was stopping me from saying the words. Alexander shook his head. "You did not kill Annie, Sia. That wolf shifter you sent away did. He'll confess what he did and we'll work on getting Mr. Silverstein the punishment he deserves. You, Sia, did NOT kill Annie. Do you understand?"
He took another step and my tears travelled down my cheeks as I began to whimper. "You guys w-won't love me," I cried, cracking up with sobs.
"Sia," Alexander whispered, his tears falling as he looked at me with a small smile. "You don't even understand how much I love you. How hard it's been to live in this world without you. I've tried not to let it get to me. To realize how addicted I was to having you in my life. It clicked in and now I don't want to experience that hollowness in my heart again." He put his hand to his chest.
"I'm not perfect. I have flaws too, but you loved me and gave me chances. Give me one more chance. One last opportunity to prove to you that I too
want to be in your life. Let me alleviate your pain, Sia. Please, just let me in one more time?"
He took a final step to close the distance between us, his arms outstretched in a welcoming gesture. He was giving me a choice. To walk into his arms or walk away.
My wolf lifted her head slightly, her eyes locked onto Alexander's. Something clicked between us and for the first time since becoming a wolf shifter, I could really feel Alexander's emotions.
His relief, sadness, fear, and ultimate love for me. This was the one shot we both needed, the break we craved. To start over.
My body moved before my mind caught up, pressing my bare body against his.
"Alexander." My speech was barely audible. "I'm sorry."
His arms wrapped around me, embracing my frail body in a warm hug that broke down all my walls. "No, my sweet Anastasia. I'm sorry. So damn sorry. I love you, alright? We'll get through this. All of us will."
I don't know what made me believe his words, but they gave me the reassurance for the tick tocks to finally stop. My mind suddenly felt at peace, and with it came the exhaustion from all the shock. I let my body relax as multiple waves of relief suddenly ran through me.
My heart felt like it was wrapped in love and feeling three other hands press against my back seemed to add to that consuming compassion of acceptance.
They accept me. Love me. Support me.
I finally felt at ease, the last bit of hollowness sealed off to make me a whole. As my consciousness faded, I realized that Alexander was the missing piece I needed to be prepared for the coming war.
A war that would bring us together and would ignite a wave of mind games, darkness, and light. Who knew what would come our way, but all that mattered was one important victory from today.
Alexander was back in my life. His heart was mine once more.
TO BE CONTINUED.
WOLF TAMER - SNEAK PEEK
BLURB
An Orphan Girl. A Group of Wolves. A Destined Fate for War.
Don't you ever wish to find where you belong? A place where you can rest your head without worrying about being jumped or your possessions being taken from you? Not like I had much, to say the least.
A pendant, an ancient blade, and a picture of my murdered family were all I had left when I was five years old. Foster homes to homeless shelters, I never found a place of refuge. I simply didn't belong, and everyone made it their duty to remind me of my predicament. Until I finally came across a place that felt like home.
Sacred Moon Shelter for Endangered Wolves. I'd stumbled upon the sanctuary when I was near death, but I was miraculously saved.
Since then, I've become a Wolf Tamer; the only one who can get close to touching the six rare breeds. When I'm with them, I feel safe and sometimes wish I could be like one of them and escape this cruel world.
But such inhumanity strikes home, a group of hunters shows up, ready to take my wolves to an unknown place or murder them in cold blood. I won't allow them to kill the only true family I'd ever known.
My name is Harper Blake, and I vow to claim and protect my own.
Faster. Faster. FASTER!
My legs felt like they were on fire as I ran as hard as I could. My heart hammered against my chest while my lungs struggled to keep up with my desperate need for oxygen. I couldn't stop; I wouldn't stop.
Stopping meant I'd be dead.
The last of my family's name would be removed from the earth thanks to the two men who were chasing after me. The men who murdered my family in cold blood.
I didn't know what they wanted, my five-year-old self was still trying to process watching the men kill my family one by one. I was stupid. Should have stayed quiet, but the little whimper that escaped me when they killed my mother gave me away.
Now I was running, clinging to the ancient blade my parents told me to protect, with the pendant Mommy told me to always wear, and the only picture I could grab before I jumped out the window and ran into the forest.
Running had always been my favorite activity, but in this case, if I didn't run any faster, I wouldn't get to enjoy it anymore.
A loud sound burst through the air, making me shriek and run harder than I thought possible.
I can't die. Mom said I have to protect our legacy. What is the legacy?! Why are these men here? Where are you, Mommy? I need help. I can't run for much longer. I can't-
A second loud sound rang through the air, but this time I screamed, feeling something run right through me. I could feel the air I tried to keep inside me begin to leak out as something warm drenched my white dress.
If I thought running was hard, whatever just happened to me made the world spin, and my pace lessen.
No. Must keep going!
I pushed myself to my limit, running until I realized I was too close to a cliff. I skidded to a stop, but another loud sound rang out and my body jerked forward as I gasped, another item running through me and leaving a hole in its wake.
My body fell over the edge, and I couldn't protect myself from the fall, crashing into the ground and hearing things crack that I knew shouldn't have.
Pain. Lots and lots of it. This wasn't like when I fell down and scraped my knee, or when I'd gotten sick and even sneezing hurt. The pain was crippling and the warm liquid that pooled beneath left me feeling weaker and colder.
Why is the warm liquid leaving my body? What is it? I'm cold. Why is it leaving when I need to stay warm? Mommy, everything hurts. Help me.
I heard footsteps from above, and I shut my eyes tightly, staying as motionless as possible. If I remained still, they wouldn't see me. I'd be invisible just like Daddy said. I wouldn't make a sound again. I'd stay and wait until I was alone.
"She fell over the cliff," a man with a rough voice declared. There was another set of footsteps and a loud sigh.
"You weren't supposed to shoot her, idiot!" the authoritative voice shouted.
"She was going to get away!"
"She's dead now! Defeats the fucking purpose."
"Let's get out of here. These parts are dangerous at night with those damn wolves."
"Shouldn't we finish the job?"
"She'll die. There's no one here for miles. She'll get mauled by the wolves, and if they find her body they'll assume she was attacked by an animal. We'll tell boss she killed herself or something. No one will know," the authoritative voice suggested.
"Fine. Done chasing her anyways. We could have just shifted and got this over with quick. Too bad. She's a fast runner."
"Hmph. She's dangerous. Look how hard it was to kill the boy. If she lived, we'd be screwed. Let's go. We don't want to leave any evidence behind."
Their footsteps faded, but I didn't move. To be honest, I didn't think I could move. Minutes passed, and I remained in place, terrified to open my eyes and see the men who wanted to kill me.
Mommy. Daddy. Brother. Why aren't you here? I'm in pain. It hurts.
With a bit of courage, I opened my eyes and looked around. The men were gone. I decided to turn onto my stomach, but a slight movement made the pain worse.
I need help. I have to find someone to help me and my family. Someone...
With gritted teeth and muffled screams, I turned over and rested on my stomach. It was then my eyes landed on the pool of dark liquid; the metallic scent tickled my nose and made me scrunch my face in fear and disgust.
Blood...my blood...
The realization sent panic through me, and I figured if I didn't get help soon, I wouldn't be able to get help for my family. I used all my upper body strength to drag my lower half that felt numb.
Faster, faster. Pull and drag. Pull and drag.
Thinking the motion out helped me drag further and further, my body growing numb with each movement to the point I couldn't feel the twigs and moist ground of the forest.
My vision blurred, thanks to my tears and exhaustion, but my burning desire to live was stronger and I kept going.
Forward. Forward. That's all I need to do. Just
keep going. I'll find someone. I have to.
I didn't know how long or far I dragged my body through the thick forest, but it was becoming hard to breathe, the air leaving my body from the two holes.
My body felt heavy, making it difficult for me to drag myself anymore. I tried and tried, but it was like I'd stopped working. My limbs had no feeling at all, but my mind buzzed as I began to choke.
I coughed hard, the action prompting blood to escape my mouth and onto the ground. I stared at it, and a prickling wave of fear ran through me as I realized...
I'm dying.
I blinked a few times, thinking I must have been dreaming or stuck in a nightmare, but as I laid there in the cool night surrounded by trees and wilderness, I knew I wasn't.
This is real. I'm dying. I can't save my family. I can't help them...
I clamped my teeth together to roll onto my back, realizing it might have been a bad move as blood began to fill my mouth. I turned my head to the side, letting it drain out as tears streamed down my cheeks.
Why did they kill them? What did we do? We were good people. Mommy saved animals. Daddy was a leader. Brother wanted to do what Mommy did. He wanted to lead and save animals who were being hunted. Was being good bad? Did we do something bad?
I lifted my head to stare at the stars, my gaze landing on the large full moon that looked so pure and beautiful. Even with my blurry vision, I could still see it.
SEDUCE MY LOVE Page 15