by Nicole Casey
I snorted.
“This is the last time I’m going to say it, Ellie. Mind your own damned business.”
I disconnected the call before she could make any further comment but when I replaced the phone on the table, I saw that my hands were shaking.
She had upset me more than I cared to admit.
Screw Eloise, I thought angrily, spinning toward the bedroom. And screw Terry for calling her. I should fire his ass for breach of trust.
I knew I wouldn’t but that didn’t stop the thought from entering my mind. I flopped down on the bed, willing myself to calm down.
How quickly the heady feeling I’d had with Kennedy had dissipated in the wake of returning home.
This is why I can’t have nice things.
More concerns flooded me at that point. What if we did try to make a go of it, Kennedy and me? Would I bring her here where everyone was hellbent on misery and destruction? What would that do to someone like her?
Again, I was getting ahead of myself. I had no idea which way this would go. I knew what I desired and that was to cling to the feeling I had with Kennedy, to entrench myself in her scent and never leave the confines of a bedroom with her but there was a real world in which we both belonged and it was realms apart.
Rags to riches stories only work out when there are no evil step-siblings in the picture.
I closed my eyes, the emotional exhaustion of the past twenty-four hours enveloping me. Maybe all I needed was a good sleep and when I woke, things would be clearer.
That was the hope, anyway.
10
Kennedy
I was supposed to work at the bar that night but I couldn’t imagine anything worse than being around other people after Julian left. The linger of his kiss touched my lips in as if he was still pressed to me and I couldn’t get him off my mind, no matter how hard I tried to focus.
I also couldn’t afford another day off and as the morning dragged on, I tried to decide what to do.
Perhaps I was caught up in a fantasy that Julian would return, knock on my door and say, “I’m not taking no for an answer! You’re coming home with me!”
It was stupid, I know. It was fanciful, childish and embarrassing that I wanted it but it was a fairy tale dream, wasn’t it? Since we were children and they read us those knight in shining armor stories where no matter how bad things got, no matter how knocked up and desolate you were, someone would rescue you from your external prison and set you free.
What a crock.
I didn’t know what Julian wanted when he left. Maybe he didn’t either. I mean, no billionaire could ever be happy with knowing he’d fallen into an accidental marriage, especially not with some piss poor girl from Indiana.
A part of me wondered if he thought about keeping me on as a side chick after he got his annulment but I reminded myself that he wasn’t the one who brought up the subject of the divorce—that had been me. If I hadn’t known better, I would have sworn he was disappointed by the idea that I had wanted to end it.
I didn’t have morning sickness that day and I was again curious if that had something to do with his presence. Did the baby feel his father nearby? Did it feel my new sense of happiness, no matter how fleeting it might be?
I placed my hands against my still-flat stomach and wondered what was going to happen with him, with us. Was Julian going to be a part of our lives?
At that moment, I knew I wanted nothing more than for that to be a reality. Something had brought us together, after all and I didn’t believe for a second that it was the intoxicants. His presence the previous night had proven that our attraction, our connection, went deeper than two inebriated adults having a good time. And I didn’t think that my feelings were one-sided.
Why had I let him go? My baby deserved better and so did I.
“Whatever happens,” I promised my child. “You will grow up happy and healthy. I’ll make sure you never see suffering like I did. No one will find you wandering around a flophouse.”
I cringed at my words. Surely I shouldn’t be saying things like that aloud, even to a fetus. I had a lot to learn about mothering. I’d never had one, after all. I didn’t really know where to start.
I saw my phone on the floor and I considered calling Julian. He’d programmed his number into my phone to call when I was ready. I didn’t know what that meant. Ready to give him his annulment? Ready to beg him to come back for me? Ready to tell him about our baby?
I might never be ready for any of those things. I decided not to touch the cell, lest I make the call and say something I’d regret later—even though resisting the urge took every fiber of my being.
I needed to get my head in order and I couldn’t do that sitting in the pigsty that was my apartment.
I rose from the futon and began to clean up the mess which had accumulated over the past few days. I wasn’t really a messy housekeeper but things had gotten away from me since I’d been sick.
I needed to put in a load of laundry and get the apartment disinfected although the latter made me feel a little sad. I could still catch whiffs of Julian’s aftershave in the tiny space and I wanted to hold onto it as much as I could.
I shook my head firmly. I wouldn’t get out of the funk I was falling into by sitting around.
My cell chimed and I saw it was a text message from Christine. My neck stiffened.
There was a long pause and finally she responded with three question marks.
A twist in my gut told me that my co-worker had lied about me being fired in a fit of jealousy.
Women are so petty, I thought grimly.
Not if you tell the baby’s father, the little voice in my head reminded me. He wouldn’t want the mother of his child working until she dropped…would he?
I couldn’t imagine that Julian would expect me to work at all but that reignited the doubts I had from the get go. I didn’t want to force him to stay married to me for the sake of our baby. Did I think he should help out financially, yes but to remain in a union with a stranger was not something I could entertain—for either of us.
Is he a stranger? Was he ever?
I couldn’t do that right then. I couldn’t talk myself in circles or I’d end up laying on my worn mattress staring at the ceiling. I had to keep going, keep facing the life I knew.
Sooner or later, I was going to have to tell Christine I was pregnant too. I doubted she would fire me, being a professional mother herself but I didn’t anticipate that she would rejoice at the news either.
So, things were back to normal then…
I gathered the laundry which was overflowing and packed it into a hamper which had lost one handle. There was a laundromat two blocks down. I could toss in a couple loads and come back to finish cleaning while they washed. Time was something I was going to have to learn to manage better also. I forced myself not to get overwhelmed. There would be plenty of time for that when the baby came.
Digging around my change jar for some laundry money, I grabbed my keys and wallet to usher everything onto the landing outside the door. As I closed the door behind me, the front door at the bottom of th
e stairs opened and a stunningly coiffed woman appeared against the glass.
I didn’t pay her much mind as I struggled with the basket and soap. Why did they need to make such big bottles for laundry soap? As if the weight of the laundry wasn’t bad enough.
“Excuse me,” the woman drawled, meeting me halfway up the stairs. Her cold grey eyes raked over me and her nose rose slightly into the air as if she smelled something on me which offended her—not that would have been surprising.
I stared at her impatiently, waiting for her to ask whatever was on her mind.
“I’m looking for Kennedy Christensen.”
I froze, realizing instantly that this over-dressed woman had something to do with Julian.
He sent his lawyer after me already? I thought with a twinge of bitterness and betrayal. There I was considering that we might have future together, a shot as a married couple, despite the circumstances and he’d unleashed the dogs the second he’d walked out the door.
I swallowed my disappointment and addressed her.
“That’s me,” I sighed, pausing to lean up against the wall, bracing the laundry basket with my hip. A phony smile touched her lips and on closer inspection, I could see that she wasn’t nearly as attractive as I’d initially thought her to be but immaculately placed make-up and an expensive pantsuit did wonders for her beauty. Her blonde hair was pinned stylishly up into a loose crown over her head.
“I’m Eloise Sinclair, Julian’s sister. Is there somewhere we can talk privately?”
I blinked, momentarily taken off guard by the introduction. I hadn’t expected a family visit. Moreover, I could not see a hair of resemblance between this woman and Julian. My sixth sense warned me that something wasn’t right but I also didn’t take her for a serial killer. Then again, did serial killers ever really look like serial killers? I shoved the ridiculous thought aside and nodded.
“Uh…yeah,” I mumbled, turning back toward my apartment. “My place is right here.”
I was suddenly mortified to have her inside the unit when I hadn’t done much to make sense of the mess inside but I couldn’t very well turn her away, could I?
I opened the door and instantly breathed out an apology.
“I’m just cleaning up,” I told her quickly. “Don’t mind the mess.”
I didn’t want this woman to think her brother had married a slob. When I turned back to look at her, the smirk on her face was anything but friendly.
“What mess would that be, Kennedy? The one where you trapped my brother into marriage as a way to get out of living in squalor?”
At first, her words didn’t compute and I stood, staring at her, my keys still dangling in one hand. The laundry hamper had fallen over without anything to support it and a thick silence grew denser with each second. I couldn’t take my eyes off the mound of laundry. I knew my anxiety had nothing to do with the fallen clothes.
“Oh good, you don’t deny it,” Eloise said, exhaling. “I was worried you were going to claim to love him or some bull.”
“I didn’t trap him!” I protested. I was furious to feel tears spring to my eyes because I certainly didn’t want this icy bitch to see me cry. Her smile broadened but somehow still lacked warmth or mirth. The more I stared at her, the less I could see any resemblance to Julian. Maybe she was lying. Maybe she wasn’t related to him at all.
“I’m sure you have your version of what happened, dear but I really don’t care what they are. I’m here for one reason and one reason only—to get that sham of a marriage annulled. You have no rights to Bryant Land Holdings or any of my brother’s properties, I hope you understand that. We have the best lawyers in the country and we will bury you in litigation until you’re a hundred years old with one foot in the grave.”
“I-I don’t want any of Julian’s money,” I choked, my head swimming. “That- it didn’t happen like that!”
“It doesn’t matter, sweetie. You need to file for an annulment or a divorce. I imagine you probably consummated the marriage, knowing my brother. He can’t keep it in his pants, you know?”
I knew she was saying it to hurt me but I couldn’t reconcile the Julian I knew with the man she was trying to depict him as.
“Oh, stop with the deer in headlights look, Kennedy. You’re acting as if I killed your dog. I know you only did this for money and to show that I’m not completely heartless, I’m leaving you with this check for $5000. There is a hold on it, however. It will be released when you file those papers and send them to Julian.”
Five grand. That could pay for a lot of baby stuff, more than I could hope to get on my own but I didn’t agree to it eagerly like Eloise clearly expected. It felt tawdry, cheap like I was being bought off even though that’s what I knew she meant by offering it in the first place.
But God, it was five grand.
I shook my head and watched as her face registered shock.
“I don’t want the money,” I told her. The words burned the insides of my mouth to say because I did want it—but not like that.
“What? You think you’re going to get more? I knew I had you all figured out.” She leered at me. “Fine, ten grand but not a penny more.”
The mere thought of what ten thousand dollars could do for us…
I shoved it as far out of my mind as I could.
“I don’t want it.” I tried not to let my eyes shift toward the piece of paper in her hand. Her face contorted into a look of hideous rage but before she could counter with anything, I spoke again.
“I will file the papers,” I told her. “But Julian could just as easily file them and I would sign them.”
I didn’t understand why Julian didn’t just send them along. I had already told him that I would. There was no need for this degrading encounter, this ultimate test of my pride and dignity. Unless Julian didn’t know she was there…
“My brother is an idiot, Kennedy. I don’t imagine you two did a lot of talking but if you had, you’d realize he only thinks with his lower head. That said, he’s taken pity on you. I mean, look around you. He’s dumb but he’s not a monster.”
I wondered if Eloise held that title.
Her sooty eyes narrowed as if seeing my surroundings for the first time and her lips curled into an unbecoming sneer.
My stomach flipped at her assessment and I wondered how much truth was in her statement.
Is that what Julian is—an oversexed billionaire with a charitable heart?
It made sense when I thought about it. It was true—we hadn’t done too much deep talking. I didn’t even know he had a sister. Our connection had seemed more fluid than sex but how could I say that when I knew nothing about the man? There was no reason for someone like Julian to remain married to me. I couldn’t offer him anything he didn’t already have a thousand times over no matter how much I wanted to believe he and I had something I’d never known. I was nothing special, had nothing he wanted…
Except maybe a baby but that was certainly no cause to keep him on the hook. He could have his choice of baby mamas.
Idly, I considered telling Eloise about the baby but I instantly dismissed the idea. If I hadn’t told Julian, I certainly wasn’t about to tell his judging, cold sister. Who knew what she might ask of me if she learned about the baby? Who knew what she would do? It was clear she wasn’t scrupulous but was she dangerous?
I remembered my earlier thoughts about serial killers and wondered if my instinct had been trying to warn me about the danger she posed.
No, I needed more time to process more surprises. I hoped that I was at capacity now. I couldn’t deal with another rich person showing up on my doorstep that week.
“I’ll send him the paperwork,” I told her. I paused because I knew how the next part was going to sound. There was just no way to avoid saying it.
“But I don’t have money to do it.”
“I had a feeling you’d say something like that,” Eloise snickered, reaching into her oversized purse and withdrawing a manila envel
ope. “So I took the liberty of having them drawn up on your behalf. You can thank me later.”
She tossed it on the coffee table and was already moving toward the door. I got the impression that she was overwhelmed by the lack of designer products in my apartment.
“Like I said, Kennedy, the minute my brother receives those papers, I will release the money.”
She had tossed the check on the scarred coffee table and I opened my mouth to protest it again.
“I don’t want the money, Eloise. Take it with you.”
Why was she making me say it over and over? Maybe because she was a sadist. It was the only explanation I could think of.
She paused and turned back to me from the still-open doorway.
“Then burn it but there is one final thing I need from you before I go.”
I stared at her, not really wanting to hear another word out of her mouth but something told me I didn’t have much of a choice in the matter.
“Before I tell you, I want you to think about how many lives you’ll be ruining if you don’t agree. I have no idea if you’re a moral person, Kennedy but I think I see a glimmer of intelligence in those eyes of yours so consider my words carefully.”
I held my breath, sensing that she had waited for the biggest bombshell to secure her departure.
“You cannot contact my brother again. Not by text or Facebook or tweet. Send off that paperwork and forget he existed. If you think you’ll be able to squeeze more money out of him, you’d be wrong because I will not hesitate to unleash my lawyers on you.”
There was such a finality to her words that I had no doubt she was telling the truth. Now was the time to tell her about the baby, to tell her that I couldn’t cut him out, that my baby deserved to know his father but my lips remained glued together.
You’re excess baggage, you and your baby. She doesn’t care about Julian’s child any more than she cares about you. She may not even care about Julian.
I stood in stony silence.
“I’m waiting on an answer, Kennedy,” she sighed. “Yes or no?”