by Nicole Casey
The old man paused and smiled at me before speaking his wise mind.
“The day is not over yet, Mr. Bryant. I’m sure you can think of a way to make it even better.”
I didn’t need to be told twice.
I had to find my wife.
It was a four-hour flight to Indianapolis and another hour to Cedarside by rented car. I arrived in front of Kennedy’s rundown building just before dawn. My eyes were burning from lack of sleep but the adrenaline pumping through my veins was sustaining me.
I still had no real idea of what Eloise had told Kennedy to make her cut me off. I had a hard time believing that it was merely the money which had kept her away but the entire ride with Kennedy had been so confusing, so up and down, I couldn’t be sure anything was what it seemed anymore.
All I knew was that I needed to see her, to read her expression and gauge what she felt in the depth of her eyes.
I couldn’t be expected to just sign the papers and forget we’d ever met. She was asking too much if that’s what she wanted but at the same time, if that was she demanded, I would give her what she desired. I couldn’t force her to stay with me.
I opened the glass entryway and began to mount the stairs toward her apartment, painfully aware of how early it was in the morning.
I paused on the second landing, debating whether to wait until a more decent hour but as I stood considering my options, the door to Kennedy’s apartment opened. I looked up, stunned to see a twenty-something kid with long hair making his way down the steps.
He glanced at me as he passed and I couldn’t stop myself from calling out to him.
“Are you friends with Kennedy?”
It was none of my business. We weren’t together, even if we were married. She had a right to a life but it still didn’t burn any less. Could this punk be the real reason she had cut me out so easily? Again I was consumed by how little I knew about the woman I’d married.
He eyed me curiously.
“What?”
“Are you-were you just visiting with the girl in that apartment?”
Again, I was met with a blank stare and the smell of marijuana met my nose. The kid was stoned. For the first time, I saw a tool belt around his slender hips and I realized he was likely the maintenance man. I wondered why he would be there at such an early hour but I didn’t press the issue.
“What girl?”
Okay, so Kennedy wasn’t home. More consternation filled me while I considered where she had gone overnight.
She could have stayed at a girlfriend’s place.
“I’m looking for the girl who lives there, Kennedy. She’s not home?”
Bloodshot eyes continued to examine me like I was a bug under a microscope and I regretted asking this grass-induced boy anything.
“Buddy, no girl lives there. It’s an empty apartment.”
“What?”
“She moved out a couple days ago.”
“Where? Did she say where she’s going?” Desperation tinged my words but I could see the guy knew nothing but where to buy the cheapest weed.
“Sorry, man. No idea. She was always late on her rent anyway. Good riddance if you ask my dad. He owns this place.”
I felt a spark of indignation ignite in my bones.
“You should tell your dad if he wants his tenants to pay on time, he should try regular maintenance on the property,” I shot back. I couldn’t imagine what I would do if any of my buildings looked the way this one did.
Again, I was met with a flat stare. I stifled a grunt of annoyance and bolted down the stairs, leaving the kid to stare after me.
I didn’t have time to argue with high kid. I had to figure out where Kennedy had gone before I lost her forever.
13
Kennedy
It was probably a stupid move but it was necessary. The baby was going to need a safer place to grow up, whether or not I could afford it.
The check Eloise had left behind had sat in a drawer untouched for a couple days but after I had sent off the papers, I found myself staring wistfully at it, my mind in turmoil. I didn’t want to touch it, not morally but I hadn’t signed the papers because of the money.
My instinct had been to tear it up but I just couldn’t bring to do it, not with the baby growing in my womb calling out to me, warning me that our lives were about to get a lot more complicated soon.
And without my prince to save me, my pride has no place in this decision.
Guilt drowned me but I took it to the bank and when I was told it was good, I made another painful decision. I used the money to put a deposit down on a newer building closer to the outskirts of Cedarside. The rent was slightly more than I was paying and if I maintained both my jobs, I could afford it but I would probably need to let go of my car. With diapers and formula, I doubted I would have enough to eat if I kept the Fusion.
Luckily, the apartment building was central enough to a grocery store and bus route for me to manage it.
Truthfully, I think I was in a big rush to leave my apartment because I felt like Julian was still inside it. I kept getting whiffs of him in the living room. It was likely my imagination but it didn’t make it any less so.
Belle and I had made up, kind of. I didn’t trust her not to pull some stupid stunt again like pretending I was fired but she really was the closest thing to a friend that I had. Unexpectedly, she showed up at my apartment to help me move with Christine.
“You’re finally getting out of this shithole, huh?” my manager asked. “Thank God. You’re just waiting to get robbed or inhale asbestos.”
“What are you doing here?” I asked, surprised. I didn’t realize she knew where I lived.
“I have a truck and a minivan,” Christine explained. “We can haul a few carloads and be done with the move in a couple hours.”
I was warmed by her offer to help. I had always thought she hated me.
Just goes to show you know nothing about anyone. You thought Julian was your soulmate. Turns out you’re just another page in his book of conquests.
I was really trying not to think about him but it wasn’t easy. I would see a man on the street and fully expect it to be him but of course, it wasn’t. I was letting him off the hook with this divorce.
After it was final and I was closer to the due date, I’d send him an email and let him know about the baby. I didn’t care about Eloise’s threats so much anymore. Once the papers were signed, she really didn’t have a legal hold on me anyway so there was nothing she could do or say at that point.
I wondered if he would be hurt that I didn’t tell him sooner or if he even bothered responding once he realized I didn’t need him.
I don’t need him, I told myself firmly. I don’t need him.
Belle left to start her shift at the store and Christine helped me finish the last of the boxes when she cornered me in my new kitchen.
“How far along are you?” she asked and I gasped at her forwardness. My instinct was to deny but she was going to find out eventually.
“Couple months,” I guessed. I still hadn’t seen a doctor.
“How did you know?”
Christine laughed.
“Honey, I’ve got five kids—five of them. I can smell a pregnant woman from six blocks away. I don’t know why you didn’t tell me before. I’ll get stuff together for you. We’re not having anymore. I got my tubes tied after Riley because I don’t trust Ronnie to get a snip even though he promised. You can have all the baby’s stuff. I got a ton.”
Her unexpected kindness brought tears to my eyes and she exhaled.
“I guess the son-of-a-bitch who knocked you up isn’t in the picture anymore, huh?”
I shook my head and swallowed the stone in my throat. Christine snickered.
“Doesn’t matter, Kenny. Even when they are around, they aren’t. Ronnie’s barely been home three full weeks in the last year. You’ll be fine. I will help you.”
Before I could suppress it, a sob escaped my mouth and I
was engulfed in tears. I didn’t want to do it alone. I wanted Julian there with me, catering to my whims with pizza and pasta. I wanted to nuzzle myself in the crook of his arm and forget that we’d ever been apart or unsure of each other.
I wanted to go back and tell Eloise to stick her money and call Julian to tell him what had happened.
There are no do-overs in life. You can only surge forward.
But Christine let me weep in her arms and she stroked my hair gently, murmuring in a soothing way that only a mother would know.
When I was done, I felt better, somehow but the loneliness, the longing for Julian, it still remained.
By the time I was settled in my new place, I could see the definitive bump of the baby swelling against my once-flat stomach.
I talked to him (or her but somehow I already had it in my head that it was a boy) constantly. He was my only companion day-to-day now although Christine did make a conscious effort to stop by with baby clothes and furniture that Riley had outgrown. It had all seen better days after being put through the ringer with five kids but I was so grateful that I didn’t have to buy new stuff, I hugged her every time I saw her.
One Saturday, I got off the bus and started toward my sweetly manicured building after finishing work. I was still in the glorious honeymoon phase of being in a new home, marveling at the pretty flowers neatly planted along the rocks on the exterior.
I was so caught up in the landscaping that I didn’t see him standing there until I was on the stone walkway in front of the lobby.
“Julian!” I choked. “What are you doing here?”
He blinked and looked at me as if he thought he was looking at an apparition.
“Kennedy.”
He said the word simply, without surprise or expression and it turned my heart to stone.
“Wh-what are you doing here? How did you know where I’d moved?”
Slowly, a disbelieving smile touched his lips.
“I didn’t.”
I waited, not entirely sure if he was speaking the truth or not but the look on his face told me that he was stunned. It had just taken me a minute to figure it out.
“Why are you here?”
“I…I just bought this building.”
My mouth twisted into a wry smile.
“By accident?” I asked sarcastically and he shook his head, stepping closer. I tilted my head back to stare into the teal of his eyes and a familiar shiver coursed through me.
“Yes and no. I’ve been buying properties in Indiana.”
“You don’t have business in Indiana,” I recalled. “You told me that.”
“I do now.”
He didn’t need to elaborate. I knew he’d purchased them as an excuse to be closer to me. Why else would he be in Cedarside of all places? The population had held at forty thousand people for ten years. Hardly a hopping market for real estate.
“Should I show you around?” I joked and he nodded.
“Sure. I should see what I bought, I guess.”
Nervousness and comfort tickled me together and I stared at his outstretched hand. He wanted me to take it.
I inhaled and accepted it, relishing the heat of his smooth palm.
He still had the same effect on me. It hadn’t diminished an iota.
“I’ve been looking for you since you moved. I missed you by two days,” he told me. “I know Eloise paid you a visit. What did she say to you?”
There would be no preamble, no warm up to allow me to get my thoughts in order. He went right in for the jugular.
“It doesn’t really matter,” I said quickly. “She was right—we had no reason to stay married. Your sister seems like a smart woman.”
I didn’t add that I thought she was also a heartless bitch.
“She’s my step-sister and I beg to differ. She told me she gave you money to stay away. Is that true?”
I paused at the elevator banks and hit the button for up before turning to him.
“That wasn’t exactly how it happened but when you say it that way, I guess she did. I…I needed the money.”
I hated how lame that sounded, like I had been willing to give up on a viable relationship because I needed a few bucks.
“I don’t blame you,” Julian said surprising me. “I just want to know what happened.”
The elevator arrived and I stepped on, wondering if he was going to follow me. Our still-held hands dangled over the open door until he did, of course. The fission between us was growing more attractive by the minute.
“Eloise simply explained that it wouldn’t be beneficial to anyone if we stayed married. You and I have to agree that we wouldn’t have done it if we were in the right frame of mind.”
“Well I would have liked to have known how it was going to go without my step-sister interfering but that’s a moot point now, isn’t it?”
“I guess so.”
We stopped on the eighth floor and I padded to the left, my fingers still entwined in his.
In front of my apartment, I gazed at him, my heart thudding. It was the moment of truth. When I opened the door to my unit, he would see the mound of baby clothes and toys which Christine had bought for me, the disassembled crib and furniture she’d lugged with her two oldest in tow.
I couldn’t go back now. He needed to know the truth. Fate had dropped him in my lap again and it was clear that we were going to find our way back to one another, no matter what stood in our way.
“Are we divorced now?” I asked and I braced myself for the answer. I wasn’t sure which one would be more disappointing at that point.
“Would you like us to be?”
“You shouldn’t answer a question with a question,” I chided.
“You shouldn’t disappear and serve me with divorce papers,” he countered.
“Touché.”
A faint but identical grin appeared on our lips. I didn’t know why I was smiling. Maybe because I knew that even after a month, he hadn’t bothered to sign those papers like he’d known all along we’d be in that exact spot, trying to read one another.
“I have something to tell you,” I confessed, turning away to unlock my door. I stepped inside the roomy entranceway and flicked on a light so he could see the chaos. Studying his face, I watched as his expression changed several times, settling on confusion.
“What is all this?”
“Preparations,” I replied, trying to keep my voice light but my heart was pounding loudly in my ears. “For our baby.”
His body straightened and again, I was sure I had lost him. All hope for us drained out of my body as I read his face.
“Our baby?”
I bit on my lower lip and shifted my eyes down to the ground.
“I was going to tell you when the divorce was finalized,” I rushed on. “I didn’t want you to feel obligated to stay with me.”
“You’ve been pregnant and alone this entire time?”
“No. I’ve had…friends.”
My eyes found him and the combination of awe and hurt overwhelmed me.
“This is because of Eloise, isn’t it? That’s why you didn’t tell me?”
“Partly. But I also wasn’t sure you’d be happy about it. Remember, before you found me, I had no idea who you were. I was going to raise the baby alone anyway.”
“You will never be alone.”
There was so much warmth, so much conviction in his tone, a shiver ran through me. His blue-green eyes searched my face and his lips parted, quivering slightly.
“I’m so sorry you were alone, that I wasn’t with you but from now on, it’s you and me, Kennedy.”
“I can still do this,” I protested weakly but he didn’t let me finish.
“Now that I have you back in my arms, I will never let you go. There is nothing in this world which can make me change my mind.”
He was saying everything I needed to hear, everything I’d wanted to hear. Every shadow of every doubt I’d experienced evaporated when he pressed his lips to m
ine.
I believed him. I trusted him. I loved him.
I was his and he was mine.
Finally.
Epilogue
JULIAN
Twilight spilled inside the windows of the forty-sixth floor and cast prism-like shadows over the carpet.
Jessamyn fell forward, trying to capture the triangles on the floor as her brother moved to sit on them.
“MAMA!” the toddler howled. “Justin no let me play!”
“Justin, play nicely with your sister,” Kennedy intoned without looking up from her desk.
“MAMA! I’m hungry!”
“Why don’t they ever ask you for anything?” My wife asked pleasantly, rising from her spot and digging around in the knapsack for some snacks. “Do I somehow look any less busy than you, darling?”
“Daddy don’t know how to cook,” Justin explained matter-of-factly and I snorted by the three-year-old’s answer. It didn’t take much to “cook” open a package of Bear Claws.
“That is true,” Kennedy agreed, setting the twins up with a cookie each.
“We’re leaving soon,” I protested, glancing at the Rolex on my wrist. “That’s going to ruin their dinner.”
Kennedy scoffed at me, raising a dark eyebrow.
“Doubtful. They’re growing like weeds. This is the tenth time today they’ve asked for a snack. And that’s after eating two full meals.”
“Still…”
We had been working late. It was time to wrap it up but since we had merged with Olive Branch, the workload had been insurmountable it seemed.
Kennedy and I had uprooted the twins from Miami shortly after they were born to deal with the expanding empire on the east coast.
I had employed an entirely new team to handle the Midwest and a third for the west coast. Business was good but we just didn’t have enough hours in the day. Kennedy had picked up the twins from the office daycare an hour earlier and we were both tying up loose ends before heading to our house in the Hamptons for the weekend. I was so grateful that I’d made Kennedy my COO. She had attended college classes online and of course she’d proven to be a quick a study as I expected in both real estate and administration. By the time she graduated, she was running circles around everyone in the offices while wrangling in a set of unruly kids.