by Melissa Blue
"It’s safe, but it’s not as romantic."
She shouldn’t have come to talk to Jane. Megan realized it a few words too late. She reached for the work-worn hand of this person who was so dear to her. "I’ve got to go. Mom’s waiting."
Jane sighed. "I should have told you to not hurt yourself."
Megan glanced down before speaking. "I love you, but you can be—"
"You’re not too old for me to throw you over my knee."
"Scary thing is, I believe you." Megan tried to smile and failed.
"Don’t stay away so long this time."
Lips pressed together for a moment, Megan replied, "I won’t."
Jane rounded the island and enveloped her in a hug. The smell of brown sugar and butter laced the air and Megan took in another breath, just for prosperity.
"You lie," her surrogate mother murmured against Megan’s hair.
Megan closed her eyes. "Maybe."
"I love you, too," Jane whispered.
*****
"I guess that’s it." Megan closed the trunk to her car a little extra hard. The noise bounced back and sounded like a gunshot in the empty circular drive of her home.
"I wanted to see you off." Nicole said, still glowing from the day’s events. Damn her and her glow, Megan thought. Okay, she liked her mother, a whole lot more than when she’d first come back, but this wasn’t the last face she wanted to see.
Aiden.
She ground her teeth. To think she fancied herself in love with him. Okay. Okay, honesty. Head-over-heels, I-can’t-breathe-without-you, I-need-you-until-the-end-of-time in love with him, and had he not avoided her the whole day? Was he here to see her off and beg her to stay?
No.
"Thanks, Mom, but I think you have a groom waiting somewhere."
Nicole waved her hand. "We have the rest of our lives, and our flight doesn’t leave until ten o’clock tonight." Nicole hesitated.
And, Megan thought of asking, how do you know it’s the rest of your life? Instead she kept her mouth shut, and Nicole finally said, "We’ll only be gone five days. Shep can’t take too much time off. Do you know when you’ll be back?"
Her mother’s sentences ran together, and still Nicole couldn’t hit the right subtlety. "Well..." Megan looked up at the house. The white paint shone in the dusky light. The pillars cast shadows over the wide porch.
It was hers.
It was huge.
It was empty.
"I don’t know," Megan finished the sentence. "I’ve taken off a lot of time from my business." I need time to forget how Aiden smelled, walked, talked, smiled, made love to me. "I need to get back into the groove of things." Megan frowned. A lifetime ought to do it. "I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep."
"But..."
"I promise to be here for Christmas."
Nicole’s face went blank. "That’s in six months." Nicole waved her hand as if to say ‘never mind.’ "Call, at least."
"I will."
"I’m going to miss you." Nicole clasped her hands, looking unsure what to do or say.
Megan took a deep breath and a step forward and hugged Nicole. For some reason this goodbye felt right. Like it wasn’t a goodbye, but a see-you-later. Megan laughed to herself. Well, I’ll be. "I’m going to miss you, too, Lady." Megan grinned at the long sigh.
"I asked for that one." Nicole snuck in a kiss before Megan backed up.
Megan’s eyes betrayed her and strayed down the road. No Green Demon in sight. The bastard. "I better hit the road."
"Okay."
"I promise I’ll call."
"Okay."
I’m stalling, she thought, and Nicole’s eyes seemed to say it was okay, and because they did, Megan got into her car and pulled out of the drive. Checking her rearview mirror every two seconds, Megan was at the end of the road when she could have sworn, hoping for any sign, that she saw a man standing under the oak tree. She trained her eyes on the road and said, "Goodbye, Aiden."
Chapter 20
"I quit, and I mean it." Lynne slapped her purse on Megan’s desk.
It had been seven days since she’d come back. Seven very long, endless, without-Aiden days. Get over it. Get it out of your mind. You’re over him. It wasn’t going to last forever anyway. She had a business to run. She didn’t have time to stew. There were numbers to crunch. The last thing she needed was one of Lynne’s temper tantrums. Megan sighed, keeping her own temper in check. "Why are you quitting?"
"I refuse to work in this funeral parlor any more."
"It’s a clothing store." Megan bit off each word. Her own conscience was bad enough. Hell, so was the phantom pain keeping her up late at night when work no longer kept her busy. She did not need the change in the atmosphere voiced. "I see no dead bodies, and I also don’t smell any formaldehyde."
"Could have fooled me, with all the black you’re wearing and the moping like somebody’s died. I. Quit."
Megan watched Lynne turn, about to leave. She sighed again, wondering if it was time to go to the doctor for something to deal effectively with the incessant Riverdancers in her head double-tapping on her temples. No, it was not like that commercial at all. Depression did not hurt everywhere.
"See," Lynne said. "This is what I’m talking about." She marched back to the front of the desk. "You don’t even care I’m about to walk out on you."
"All you do is sigh. All. Damn. Day. I can’t take it anymore. Either you get over Aiden, or you go get him back."
Megan flinched. "We’re in the red."
"Because the funeral parlor ambiance has scared away the customers." Lynne slammed her hands on the desk. "And for goodness’ sakes, that’s this week’s totals. You’ve been pulling in a profit for the past month, might I add, under my supervision."
Lynne was waving her hands now. This was going to take forever. Whenever Lynne waved her hands, it meant she was on a roll. It meant at least another thirty minutes of her jabbering before she shut up. Megan sighed and waited it out.
"Matter of fact, we need to get more inventory, because stuff is flying off the shelves." Lynne huffed, catching her breath. "You sighed again, and don’t change the subject. This is about Aiden."
Megan placed a hand over her eye. Was she developing a twitch now? No, it was not like the damn commercial. Megan took in a deep breath to calm her nerves.
"You’re an employee." Megan began. "I don’t want to talk about my personal business with an employee."
"I. Quit. Did you forget that one part? So technically I’m not an employee anymore. Now about Aiden."
Megan looked at the ceiling. "This isn’t about Aiden."
"Well, a broken heart, then, because it’s bleeding all over the cashmere sweaters."
A definite twitch. She rubbed her eye in a circular motion to make it stop. Not a good sign. "Do you want your severance pay now, or in a few days?"
"I want you to be happy again." Megan looked up abruptly. "Well, that got your attention." It was Lynne’s turn to take a deep breath. "I can’t keep working with you when you are like this. It’s depressing. You’re depressing. It’s depressing the hell out of me watching you come and go like a ghost. For some obscure reason, I love you." Lynne huffed again. "And the depression thing is screwing up my libido, because I’m worried about you 24/7."
Megan could take the lecture, but this heart-to-heart stuff was going to push her over the edge. Okay, it wasn’t an eye twitch. Megan blinked rapidly. She’d been holding tears back. If she cried again, it would mean she did care he didn’t call, hadn’t written, and wasn’t playing Sarah Rose on a beatbox outside her bedroom window. If she talked about it, she’d cave and go back and ruin her life. "So you want to wait a few days for your severance. I’ll call you when I have it."
Lynne sighed, but still had the look of determination. "Take a walk with me."
"A walk?"
"Yes, you put one foot in front of the other. It’s kind of like moving."
A walk she could d
o, because although she hated to admit it, The Boutique had started to feel like a funeral parlor. "Okay."
She saved the QuickBooks document and grabbed her purse. As she locked up the store, she finally thought to ask, "Where are we going?"
"For a walk, around the corner."
Megan let her shoulders relax and followed Lynne’s step, forcing herself not to think. If she thought too hard, or let her thoughts float around, they always went back to him. Instead she blanked her mind and didn’t tune back in until Lynne stopped. Megan looked through the store window. She should have known better. Lynne had the "look." The one that said, I’m more stubborn and underhanded than you. "This is unfair."
She read the sign over the door. Happily Ever After. She looked back through the store window. There were rows and rows of wedding dresses.
"All is fair in love and war."
Megan flinched. "Don’t ever say that to me again." She heard the catch in her voice. Oh, boy, she was close. There was going to be a flood if she didn’t get out of here. Lynne must have read her thoughts, because she grabbed Megan’s arm and dragged her into the store.
"Here’s the deal. Try on one dress. It can be the ugliest dress you can find, and I’ll leave you alone. I won’t quit. I won’t say Aiden’s name ever again, and when Christmas time rolls around I won’t remind you of the promise you made to your mother." Lynne put her hands up.
"That’s it?" Megan could...not do it. "No."
"We can do this the easy way or the hard way." The way Lynne’s eyes narrowed, the hard way didn’t deter her friend at all.
"I don’t know why I’m letting you talk me into this."
"It’s your id."
"Stop taking those psych classes."
"You’re going to thank me, in a few minutes."
"Doubt it."
"Pick a dress." Lynne said, with the hard way still in her eyes. Megan pulled the closest dress off the rack. "That one’s ugly. Put it back."
"But you said..."
"I lied." Lynne crossed her arms.
Megan began going through the racks. "No wonder this store is empty. Where’s the person to greet us?"
"I paid them a hundred bucks to get scarce."
"What?"
"I knew you’d put up a fight."
"You planned all this?"
"Yes. Dress." Lynne was back to the hard way.
Megan found one in her size. It was strapless and smothered with beads and weighed a ton. "I’ll get dressed and be back. You don’t have to hover."
Lynne nodded silently, then said, "Don’t make me come back there."
"Yes, Lieutenant," Megan replied before closing the dressing room door. Five minutes later, minutes full of muttering curses at herself and the yards of material, she had the dress up to her armpits. The door opened.
"Figured you’d need help with the buttons," Lynne said.
"What if I was still naked?"
"I’ve got the same goods." Megan felt the dress tightening as Lynne tugged and pulled behind her. "Okay, close your eyes. I’ll lead you to the mirrors."
Megan obeyed but had to say, "I don’t believe I’m doing this."
"I told you, it’s your id."
"I can’t remember, but what’s the id part of your brain?"
"Ego is what denies you all the good things. Id is the part of you that wants the good things. Now open your eyes."
Megan did and had to bite her lip to keep it from trembling. She breathed out of her nose until it passed. She was just in a dress. A very beautiful dress. Lynne placed her hands on Megan’s shoulders. She met her friend’s gaze in the mirror and the "hard way" softened to something else.
"Now tell me why you don’t want to go back to Aiden?"
"This isn’t what we agreed on."
"I thought I already pointed out that I lie."
"It wasn’t on your résumé."
"Everyone lies on their résumé. Tell me about the promises he made to you when you guys were younger. You never told me."
There was that phantom ache again. Megan tried to breathe around it. He’d promised they would get married once they graduated from high school. She ran her hand down the dress. It was really beautiful workmanship, something she would never have been able to afford if they had gotten married then. She could afford a dress like this now. The more she thought about it, the more she realized the superficial excuses weren’t holding up. She glanced at Lynne, who was waiting for her to answer.
"He promised he’d love me forever." Megan closed her eyes, not able to look at herself. "We were sitting under the oak tree. The one by the house. I asked him to carve our names in the tree. He said he didn’t have to. He put his hand over his heart and said as long as his heart was beating it was mine to keep." There was that damn catch in her voice again. She steeled her resolve and added, "Forever doesn’t exist, so he lied to me." The only thing her head and heart agreed on. Forever could be twenty years, a day, an hour. Tomorrow wasn’t promised to anyone.
Megan couldn’t stop it. She thought of her father. Her father had promised he’d be there forever, and he lied. The men in her life had a habit of doing that. "The only thing that’s forever is the hole he’ll leave. And I’ve already been walking around with one hole inside me. I don’t need another one with Aiden’s name written all over it."
The tears came with a vengeance. She tried to suck in a breath to keep them in, but they were falling fast, in big fat drops. Megan looked at her friend and realized she’d picked the hard way without knowing it. "I’m going to ruin the dress."
"No jokes, Megan."
She loved Aiden, and not being able to see him was already breaking something inside her. The feeling brought the memory of her mother walking around the house, a shadow having more light.
Megan felt herself on the brink of the same road. She wasn’t going to let that happen to her. "So, I cannot love him anymore, and I will stop it now, before it gets ugly."
"You have now. You have right this second. And really, how comforting will the future be, knowing you could have had those moments to keep you warm instead of nothing at all." Lynne shook her head. "And I always thought your elevator went to the top floor. You really are an idiot."
Megan laughed. "Aren’t you supposed to say something comforting and make me see the error of my ways? Not call me an idiot."
"The first part was as philosophical and as mushy as I’ll get." Lynne shrugged. "But you are an idiot if you don’t go back and get him. That ‘his heart will always be yours’ is stuff greeting card manufacturers make money off of. Corny as hell, but he means it."
Megan wiped her face. "For future reference, never do another intervention."
Lynne smirked. "I don’t think I’ll have to."
*****
Aiden kept his eyes closed and feet propped on his desk even after he heard the door to the precinct open and close. Then light shone behind his eyelids when something hard as a rock made contact with his head.
"Ow!" He had to blink a few times for his vision to clear. "Shep, what was that for?"
"Megan."
Aiden’s shoulders slumped. He had hoped to avoid this conversation with his uncle. "She was leaving. I didn’t see—Ow." Aiden stood from his desk and met his uncle’s glare with his own. "Don’t hit me again."
Shep nodded. "Finally. Now tell me. What were you thinking?"
"She was leaving, and I..." He let the comment hang between them.
"Not that. Mr. Samuel practically had a play-by-play of how your car was parked and what went on. I’m talking about when you let her go."
He didn’t have a real answer for that, so he went for the cliché. "If you love something, you let it go."
Shep was silent for a moment. "Son, that’s complete crap. Did you read that in a fortune cookie?" Shep shook his head and shoved the keys at him. "Here. It’s your turn for Dead Man’s Curve. I hear your Uncle Butch is finally leaving town. You can at least hit him with a ticket."
&
nbsp; "Why?"
"I’ve only been back two days, and I’m tired of seeing you mope. It’s not fitting. Go on." Aiden smiled at him. "Git," Shep said louder.
Aiden grinned, knowing that was the closest to words of wisdom he’d ever get from his uncle. "Thanks," he said before he let the door shut behind him.
He pulled his sunglasses from his shirt. He needed to leave town anyway. Everywhere he went reminded him of her. The old and the new memories segued together. At this rate, he’d be bitter by next year.
He folded himself into the car, and before his thoughts could stray too far he’d parked under the tree on Dead Man’s Curve. He pulled the radar gun from under the seat and waited for no one to break the speed limit.
This was worse. Now he was left with his thoughts. The same ones that had made him stay away from her the day she left. Aiden figured it was better for all parties if they didn’t say goodbye. He was sure to make a fool of himself. He’d been close to begging. Pathetic. He’d been very close to making the same promises to her as before. Worse than pathetic.
He’d been holding onto her for twelve years. It was time for him to let her go. He planned to, as soon as he could forget her. Maybe if Shep knocked him up side the head hard enough he’d get amnesia. Not a bad idea. No. He’d eat Nicole’s stew at Thanksgiving. That should do it. If he was honest with himself, nothing could wipe her from his memory.
He glanced down at the car keys and squinted. He wondered if Shep would get mad if he made a day trip in the cruiser. It wouldn’t hurt to see if Megan made it home safely. Also to see if he could talk Megan into letting him buy her lunch. From there he could find a jewelry store and propose. This if-you-love-something-let-it-go thing wasn’t working for him. Did it work the first time, twelve years ago?
His thoughts were interrupted by the radar beeping wildly in his hand. He frowned, but sat up in his seat.
His heart literally stopped when a silver Camaro whipped into view. Before his reflexes could kick in, the car skidded to a stop. He held his breath. The door opened and one high heel stepped out, then another, and there Megan stood.
His uncle must have knocked something sideways in his brain this time, because otherwise Megan was crossing the road in a dress too tight to be legal, her hips swaying left and right.