by Hart, Rebel
“Who is Cleopatra?”
“What is mitosis?”
“What is sycophant?”
I rolled my eyes. “Dad. Can you turn that off, please?”
He held up his finger. “Just one more… oh! Who is Lot? Yeah!”
I furrowed my brow at the odd scene of my father pumping his fist into the air. He winced at the pain and quickly dropped his arm, to which John rushed to his side. I kept myself in my place, though. I didn’t want to be anywhere near that man. And as John limped over to aid our father like he always had, Dad’s eyes found my own.
“Come to gloat, I guess?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No. Just to look at you one last time and say goodbye. For good.”
He snickered. “Just like that, huh?”
I nodded. “Just like that.”
“So no empathy? Even for your own father?”
John checked our father over. “He looks fine.”
Dad grumbled. “I’m certainly not fine.”
John pressed a button until it turned red. “Well, I’m sure you will be with time. And this morphine.”
“That stuff makes me itch.”
I sighed. “John, you don’t have to dote on him anymore. He holds no power over you.”
John looked over at me. “You say goodbye the way you want to and let me say goodbye the way I want to.”
Dad grinned. “Yeah, Max. Let your brother have his ways.”
Watching John dance around our father made me sick. But if that was what he needed for closure, then so be it. I wouldn’t stop him. I sure as hell wasn't joining him, though.
“You want empathy?” I asked.
Dad shrugged. “Couldn't hurt.”
“You tried to kill me three times so your drug-running business could expand. You tried to drown the woman I love. You’re a greedy bastard, in general. And you want empathy?”
“I knew it was a longshot anyway.”
“You’re no father of mine in the first place. And even if I wanted to give you empathy, I sure as hell wouldn't disrespect Dani that way.”
He scoffed. “Dani. What a weak little thing.”
I opened my mouth to fire back at him, but John beat me to it.
“That weak little thing is the reason Max is still standing and you’re going to prison, Dad. She has more balls on her than any of us. She was your undoing, not us. So you can think on that while you’re rotting away in solitary confinement.”
Dad growled as John hobbled back to my side. Then Dad looked me straight in my eyes.
“I should have eliminated you a long time ago, Max.”
I shrugged. “You can rehash your regrets in prison. John? You ready to go? Because he isn’t worth our time anymore.”
Dad called out. “Wait!”
The desperation in his voice filled me with a satisfaction I’d never felt before. The only thing that came close was feeling Dani wrapped around me for the first time. Listening to my father’s voice crack. Seeing him handcuffed to that bed. Knowing damn good and well he was scared shitless of where he’d end up. Oh, it felt like victory. It tasted like success. And it sounded like the closing of a very, very dark chapter.
I looked at my brother. “Ready?”
He nodded. “Ready?”
Dad called out for us. “Wait, boys! Come on. I’m your fucking father, for crying out--don’t you step out that door. Don’t you--don’t you leave me like this. Max! John! Sons!”
We turned our backs to him and not once did we look back. I was proud of John, too. Because I just knew he’d give in to Dad’s pleas. We walked down the hallway as Dad’s voice followed us, echoing off the corners of the deserted place. With our heads held high and our shoulders rolled back, I finally felt free from that man’s shackles. I felt no remorse. No guilt. No sadness, and no grief. Our father had dug this hole for himself. He could climb out of it himself.
“I hope he likes the surprise I left behind for him,” John said.
I jammed my hand into the elevator button. “What?”
Dad’s voice echoed down the hallway. “Why the fuck is there piss everywhere!?”
John snickered. “Let’s go. Come on, come on, come on.”
My eyes widened. “You didn’t.”
John giggled like a little girl. “I know it’s petty, but damn if it isn’t hilarious.”
As the two of us stumbled into the elevator, we roared with laughter at the thought of our father helplessly peeing on the floor. Getting it all over his stuff.
“Do I even want to know what else you did?” I asked.
John grinned. “Let’s just say Dad has a colostomy bag, too.”
My jaw dropped open. “You didn’t.”
“What the fuck!?”
Dad’s voice filled the hallway just as the elevator doors closed, and I bent over with laughter. John slapped me on the back as I wheezed, imagining my father covered in his own piss and shit. Served him fucking right after the hell he put us through.
I finally rose up. “God, you’re fucking brilliant, you know that?”
John forced his laughter to stop. “I just--I had to, you know? It might be childish, but I can literally remember pissing myself as a kid whenever that man yelled at me.”
“About time he got a taste of his own medicine?”
“Fuck yeah. But did you say everything you wanted to? You didn't speak much in there.”
I nodded. “When I walked in, I realized that there wasn’t much I wanted to say, just things I wanted to show him.”
“Like?”
The elevator doors opened on the main floor. “Like the fact that I really don’t care what happens to him now.”
“Well, you certainly got that point across.”
“Good.”
John started out of the elevator. “So how are you feeling about this dinner with Dani’s parents?”
I walked alongside him. “Eh, it’ll go how it’ll go. But I want to be there to support her, because I know how hard it is to go against an overbearing father.”
“Understatement of the year.”
I opened the front door for John. “Yeah, but it doesn't diminish the pain this is putting her in.”
“Let her know I’ll be supporting her in spirit. And you.”
“Thanks. I’ll definitely let her know.”
And as Rupert wrapped around to pick us up, I turned back toward the hospital. I gazed up to the top floor, where my father was surely still yelling up a storm. I gave him one last thought. One last silent prayer. Then I hopped into the truck.
“So! How did things go?” Rupert asked.
John looked at me. “Let’s just say Max said what he needed to say, and I did what I needed to do.”
I snorted. “You can say that again.”
Rupert pulled away from the curb. “Got time for a beer and stories? Because now you’ve got me curious.”
John shrugged. “I’m down if Max is down.”
Rupert looked at me in the rearview mirror. “Max?”
I looked at the clock. “Sure, why not? I’ve got an hour or so before we need to really head back.”
34
Dani
I knocked on my dorm room door, wary of what to expect. The last thing I wanted to do was fight with yet another person. I mean, I got it. People didn’t understand the lifestyle I had chosen for myself. But I was growing very tired of people simply asserting themselves over my personal will. As if I were incapable of making decisions for myself.
But it didn’t stop me from knocking on the door.
I didn’t feel like I had the right to barge in. Especially since this was about to be ‘just Hannah’s’ room. I knew Max wanted what was best for me. I knew he was simply looking out for me. But school wasn’t what I wanted with my life. Not right now, anyway. Maybe in a few years, when I’d lived a little bit and really explored all of my options, I would. But I was a year and some change into college, and I still had no idea what I wanted to do with the r
est of my life.
And nothing changed that fact.
I heard Hannah’s groggy voice on the other side of the door. “Hello?”
I sighed. “It’s me, Hannah. Can I come in?”
The door ripped open and she moved so quickly she was only a blur of blond. I felt arms gripping my neck as she slammed into me, almost knocking me off my feet. I grunted as she kissed my cheek over and over. As if I had been gone on some sort of sabbatical for years and years.
“You have no idea how glad I am to see you, Dani.”
I pressed her out in front of me. “Is it okay if I come in?”
“Does this mean we finally get to talk? Will you finally tell me what in the world is going on? Because the last time I talked to your parents--”
I held up my finger. “First rule if we’re going to go forward from this.”
She nodded. “I’m listening.”
“Lose my parents’ numbers.”
“When you don’t pick up the phone--”
“Lose them. I’m serious.”
She nodded. “Okay. I will.”
I squeezed her shoulders before we walked back into the dorm room. This place felt foreign to me now. It felt like years had passed since I had been here. Or on campus. My eyes flitted around Hannah’s side of the bedroom. All of her brightly-colored posters and her pristine bed. Her organized desk and her books all lined up in a row on a small shelf above her head. Even her closet was color-coordinated. Something I had envied for the longest time.
Not anymore, though.
I didn’t envy a single thing Hannah had in her life now.
“Want some coffee?” she asked.
I grinned. “Got any of that hot honey left?”
“You know I do. You’ve hooked me on to this stuff for good.”
I smiled. “Sounds like my work here is done, then.”
She paused. “That doesn’t sound good.”
I sighed. “You might not like what I have to say. But I hope you’ll let me say it, at least.”
She poured me some coffee. “Of course.”
We eventually sat on her bed with our hot honey coffees and sipped them quietly. It gave me time to organize my thoughts into the most succinct story possible. Because I knew she wouldn't handle the details well, nor would she let me talk for long before she started asking asinine questions. So I did the best I could and drew in a deep breath.
“I want to start off by saying that I’m sorry for the position I put you in.”
Hannah looked over at me. “Hearing that means a lot to me. Thank you, Dani.”
“But you also need to know that I don’t regret my choices.”
“I figured as much.”
“I still would’ve made the same choices, even though I’m sorry that they hurt you as much as they did. Because lives were at stake with my actions. And I couldn't let that slide.”
She turned to face me. “What happened, Dani? Tell me, please.”
I nibbled on my lower lip. “I need you to know before I start that nothing has changed between Max and me. I’m still with him, and I still love him.”
She took my hand. “What. Happened?”
“I need you to know that you hear me.”
“I hear you, Dani. And just know that I should have listened to you. I understand that. I shouldn’t have gotten your parents involved, especially since you seemed so confident in your actions. I was scared for you. I was scared for my friend. And maybe a bit jealous in the process.”
I paused. “Jealous?”
“Yeah! I mean, look at you. Living this exciting life. Going with your gut. Tossing everything aside for something that feels good. I mean, look around you. Do I look like the kind of person that lives their life like that?”
I giggled. “No. Not at all.”
“So, yeah. Maybe I was a bit jealous. And very worried. But I mainly didn’t want you getting hurt.”
I squeezed her hand. “I know, Hannah.”
“Whenever you’re ready with this story, I’m ready to listen.”
“Well, don’t be offended, but I’m just going to give you the short version. Because it’s complicated. And involved.”
“Whatever you’re willing to tell me, I’m here for you.”
I smiled. “Thank you. I appreciate that. The story kind of starts with me drowning.”
She blinked. “Drowning? You’re kidding, right?”
I launched into everything. How I got kidnapped. How Max’s father tied me to a chair. I recounted the drowning and how Max saved my life. I told her about my parents in the hospital and that’s when the tears started. She was just as angry at my parents as I had been with them, and she rooted me on as I told her about the plan we came up with to get rid of all this nonsense.
“I knew there was something weird about that Benji guy,” she said with narrowed eyes.
I laughed. “Yeah. A lot was weird about him. But the plan worked.”
“The police showed up at the right time?”
“Yep. S.W.A.T. and everything.”
“And Randy’s out of jail?”
“Rupert. But, yes.”
“And his father’s out of the picture?”
I nodded. “Very much so.”
She sighed with relief. “Holy fuck, Dani. You really do love this man, don’t you?”
I smiled. “I do. And I’ll protect him at all costs. Whatever it takes. He’s not bad, Hannah. None of them are. They were just being controlled by a bad man. But not any longer. They’re free.”
“You’re all free.”
I paused. “Yeah, we are. All of us are.”
She licked her lips. “Can you forgive me for all this? For what I’ve done and how hard I fought against you?”
I sipped my coffee. “With time, I think so.”
“Why do I get the feeling that’s not all you want to say to me?”
“Because it’s not. And I don’t know how you’re going to take this news.”
“You’re not pregnant, are you?”
My eyes bulged. “What? Hell, no! Are you kidding me? Come on, I’m not that stupid.”
She threw her head back with laughter. “Well, I just thought I’d make sure!”
I snorted. “I mean, I’m dropping out of school, but I sure as hell am not pregnant.”
Her laughter ceased. “What?”
I paused. “I’m dropping out of school. At least for now.”
I fell silent and braced myself for Hannah’s judgment. But to my surprise, she didn’t say anything. So I continued.
“I’m just not happy here. And no, it has nothing to do with you. I’ve felt this way ever since I enrolled, you know? I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so Dad had me declare his major. I was so unhappy my freshman year that I cried myself to sleep almost every night.”
“I remember those nights.”
I settled my hand on her knee. “I know you do. So I changed my major. It caused issues with Dad, but I figured it was worth it. But then I started classes and didn’t give a shit about the subject matter and realized I didn’t want to do that either. I don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I don’t know what kind of career I want right now. In fact, everything I do know about my life right now--everything I am confident about--has nothing to do with college for the moment.”
“I can understand that.”
“I want to find something that makes my soul light up. That makes me thankful to get up every morning. And HR isn’t it. This school isn’t it. Yes, Max makes me happy whenever I wake up, but it’s more than that. If I’m going to dedicate my entire life to the practice of one thing as a career, I want to be sure about it. Like I’m sure with Max.”
She nodded. “Then you have to do what you have to do.”
“Which leads me to my last thing.”
She sighed. “Oh, boy.”
I looked her square in the eyes. “Because of everything that’s happened with Max’s father, the S.W.A.T. captain h
as suggested that we get away for a little while. At least until all of the heat dies down.”
Her eyes watered. “Where will you go? Will you be safe?”
“With Max, I’m always safe, Hannah. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“Do you at least know where you’re going?”
“Not yet. It’ll be some place far enough away where Max and I can wait until his father’s trial, though.”
“So you’re going to be gone for a very long time, then.”
I nodded but didn’t say anything. And I watched as a tear dripped down Hannah’s cheek.
“When will you come back?” she asked with a sniffle.
I shook my head slowly. “I don’t know. I mean, we might come back. But at this point, everything is all up in the air right now.”
She paused. “Might?”
I nodded. “Yes. Might. I know it might be hard to understand right now, but I need to set out on my own. You know, really experience things. I need to be bold. I need to do things I’ve always wanted to do without worrying about what everyone else might think.”
“Do your parents know?”
“Max and I have dinner plans with them tonight. If all goes well, I’ll tell them then.”
“What if things don’t go well?”
I shrugged. “Then I won’t tell them. I don’t owe them this information if all my father is going to do is berate me.”
She wiped at her tears. “I’m so sorry for putting you in this situation.”
I set my coffee down. “Hannah, look at me.”
Her eyes met mine. “Yeah?”
“Right now? At this juncture in my life? I’ve never felt so alive. I’ve never felt so happy. But these last few weeks with Max have changed everything for me. I’m not the same person. I don’t have the same goals and passions and wants any longer. It’s not possible to go back to how things used to be. To the pushover I used to be. And I need someone to understand that. Please, understand that. Understand me.”