by Caldon Mull
“Why you weren’t scared of me.” Shane belted out a belly laugh again. “See, at first... I wanted to drive over and beat the fag who topped my bro as soon as he told me why he was so fuckin’ happy all the time... But he made me swear I wouldn’t.” Shane reached out a paw and gently massaged my shoulder. “Then I saw him and how good you made him feel an’ what you did for him when he got that promotion an’ I thought, well... fuck it!” Shane grinned and patted my shoulder before dropping his hand into his pockets.
“Oh.” I stayed quiet and let him continue.
“This ain’t no fag boyfriend and girlfriend thing, it’s kinda real an’ I ain’t never seen him so calm and sure of hisself a’fore. He was always the runt of the pack and he gets picked on at home somethin’ awful, if I’m not around. After awhile with you he was standing his ground and surprising the heck outa the older boys. I guess, in a way... you made him a man. His own man. After spending some time with you I could figure out what he saw in you, an’ after the rains I guess I know fer sure it’s OK with you.”
“Yeah, I guess... I love him an’ I always will. He did somethin’ for me as well, somethin’ I’ll always be grateful to him for.” I hung my head and couldn’t look him in the eyes, still blushing. “He... showed me... things in me that I didn’t even know were there. Things I didn’t even know to look for.”
“Hey.” Shane lifted my chin with a gentle hand “Me too. He does that.”
“You...?” I whispered.
“Yeah.” Shane whispered back, his eyes gentle “Kinda sick, ain’t it? My baby bro?”
“No...” I thought some on what he said, looking into his eyes “No... not really. A very big man once told me on a very cold morning that some things are just the way they are.”
“Heh. I remember.” Shane grinned and pulled his hand away “Thing is, that time I got to see some of who you really are. I kinda got what Kyle saw, fer the first time, then. An’ now I guess I know fer sure.”
“Oh?” Shane draped an arm over my shoulder, and I stretched to do the same. He turned his head slightly to talk directly, softly into my ear... someone standing three feet away couldn’t have heard a word.
“Yeah, I reckon.” he grinned, “I jes’ tol’ you my biggest, dirtiest secret and I feel good about that. To finally tell someone I c’n trust with… stuff like that. You never judge, an’ you so... so centered. I even thought about bein’ jealous of you an’ Kyle, but after I got to know you some, I figured I was wastin’ my time bein’ like that. You bring out the best in people around you, and I c’n feel it happening to me. You in the market fer one more friend? I’d like to be one... if... if it’s all right with you.”
“Uhhh... “ I grinned up at him “We could’ve been in-laws if Kyle had a mind to it. Sure.”
“Hah!” Shane grinned hugely. I was shocked to see how alike him and Kyle were when he smiled like that, and wondered how I could have been so oblivious all along.
Perhaps because Shane was always so serious, and seldom smiled. “I don’t think there’s anyone alive who could tame his ass.”
“I agree, my friend, I agree.” I chuckled “Though I think the part you couldn’t tame was always got me going... I miss him Tank, I really do miss him. When he was around, the whole room jus’ kinda... y’know...”
“Yeah, I do. An’ I know he misses us... but that never stopped him doing what he was going to do anyway. In the hills with us, he was always like a Hawk that’d been put in a cage. But you shown him how to fly, an’ he’s never been happier. I’m glad he’s happy... but I’m sad I’m not there to see it. Mostly... I’m glad.”
“Yeah.” I sighed and draped my arm over Shane’s shoulder. “What’s that crap about setting something free?”
“Heh, you keep b’lieving that and mebbe one day... Oh look, here’s our ride.” Shane pointed with his jaw over my shoulder. “Where the heck is Cappy getting’ this one? Looks more like a Hotel than a bus.”
“Dunno.” I lied “But there’s gonna be beer. You gonna get slammed?”
“Reckon so. You gonna carry me?”
“I reckon I will, Tank. Every time.” I grinned at him, unhitching my shoulder and hefting my kit. The Boys inside must have been picked up in Town, raucously greeting us from the windows. Everyone was in one place this time. Cappy had thought of everything, bless him. He leaned out from the Driver’s seat and grinned “You’s the last there Tank, Big Guy? Everything sorted at the clubhouse?”
“Yup. Locked that up before I chased Andy out the locker-room. Ralfie’ll close that up fer tonight.” Shane grinned up at Cappy.
On the way up the steps, with Shane blocking the view from the boys, Cappy pressed his hand quickly against my crotch and smiled quickly when he felt me harden. I looked down at him and winked, then it was following Shane’s lead to the back of the bus where Dean and Mark beckoned. After all the high-fives and stowing the kit, Mark tossed Shane a tallboy which he cracked and drained. Belching, he reached for another, slapped my ass and said “C’mon Big Guy, park that ass, you’re interfering with my rhythm here.”
“If’n you keep bobbin’ around down there before I park my ass, I may as well get some use outa you… Did I ever tell ya, you got a miiiighty purty mouth on yer…” I sassed him.
“Oooooo….” The bus fair echoed as the boys grinned while I slumped down into my seat and grabbed a beer from the grinning Mark.
“Heh.” Shane winked “Let’s keep that sass fer the scorin’, Big Guy, I know you ol’ timers need a lotta rest.”
“Ooooo…” a Chorus started, wondering where this was going.
“I’ll be getting me some rest, Tank.” I cracked the beer and grinned at him. “Between touchdowns while I wait for you youngsters to catch up.”
“Oooooo…” The guys sensed a bet happening.
“My lily-white heinie!” Shane laughed, “Tha’ll be the day, we’ll be with ya every step o’ the way.”
“Suuuure you will…” I grinned, enjoying Shane’s attempts to motivate the troops. It looked like it was working too.
“You wanna bet on that, sport?” I played my part, Shane’s eyes twinkled amusement.
“Hell, yes.” I grinned and sipped the brew.
“Oooooo…” The guys chorused again.
“Okay guys, what kinda bet it be…?” I laughed “Any ideas?”
“Me…me… me” The hands waved furiously.
“Meat, ya wanna run this through?” I laughed and handed the floor over to him.
An hour and a half later, all the chips were down. Mark stood up and announced the terms of the bet to us. “OK, this what we got. Every time Andy, Dean, Alex and Cappy touchdown more’n twenty yards away from the nearest defender, Tank gets a hickey from one them on his lily-white butt… the scorer.”
“Ooooo…” The guys roared with laughter.
“We mark that beeee-yaicht good!” Dean heckled.
“Every time we backs make ten yards of a touchdown, Tank gets to give Andy a hickey- heinie.”
“I reckon I be using my ‘purty mouth’ on ya lots this weekend, Big Guy.” Shane roared with mirth.
“Heh, don’t reckon so, roomie. Now you there… an awful lotta butt for an awful lotta touchdowns…” I laughed. “Might as well get used to hickies, Tank, leastwise you got space fer them… “
“The bet is ON!” Alex grinned, clapping his hands “A hickey a touchdown!” Alex stood up
“We gonna see how many touchdowns every time Tank gets a shower.”
“Go Tank go!” The boys roared. “Go Tank go…”
“This is your Captain speaking…” Bobby’s voice called from the front. “We gotta piss-stop an’ a change of Driver in 10 minutes, so try not to leak on the carpets… empty cans in the garbage bag to the front.”
We drove until we got to the nearest cleared area on the roadside and Bobby gentled the bus into it. The doors slammed open and a squad of piss-hungry teamsters jostled to get to the door.
“A
h… Um…” Paul grinned by way of greeting, helping me unfurl the bags as we scrabbled for empties.
“Yeah.” I smiled back and helped him hunt empties. The cans were collected into a bag and I helped Paul round up some stray cans and bundled them near the door as we sauntered to join the pissing-line. Paul and I only started spraying the gravel with our pee, while the rest of the boys bundled back into the bus, finished with theirs. Jase swapped places up front with Bobby, and Alex sidled into the next chair.
“Is he, um…” Paul glanced sideways as I shook my dick and buttoned up my front. Shane’s loud laugh bellowed as he slipped on the steps. A dozen hands propped up his ass and heaved him forward.
“Ah… yeah.” I grinned in the dark, Shane was definitely well past half-drunk. Paul finished his piss with some lazy spirals and tucked himself away. Jase closed the doors behind me and I followed Paul as he picked his way down the aisle of the bus. I noticed that everyone had paired up into their gangs, shrugged and pushed Paul ahead of me to the back seat. Dean and Mark were curled up in a familiar pose and Shane had planted himself in the middle of the seat, legs splayed, yawning hugely.
He patted his rock-solid midriff and belched spectacularly. “S’pose I should get some shut- eye. Don’ wanna get too wasted.” He grinned.
Paul stepped over the tree-trunk legs and grinned “Thas’ a first.” He scooted over the seat and curled up into the far corner of the back of the bus. I sat down next to him, careful not to crowd him. Shane’s body heat radiated next to me, against my skin. He grinned at me and winked “Gonna be a long weekend. Gotta save me some strength.” He run his thumbs under his belt, crossed his ankles in the middle of the aisle and stretched out. Within minutes his eyes closed and his breathing deepened.
I settled into a comfortable position against Shane and wedged my knees against the back of the seats and tried to doze off. The bus lights dimmed and soon it was mostly quiet, save for some piped music that hummed off in the background. Johnny Cash, it sounded like. I squeezed my butt around, but couldn’t get comfortable, no matter how I tried.
“Ummm… Andy?”
“Hmmm…?” I cracked open an eye and saw Paul in the dim light, nibbling a nail.
“Y’think we gonna win this weekend?” He glanced over, dropped his eyes when he saw me watching him.
“Sure, kid. Why not?” I cleared my throat softly “I think we got a better than good team, an’ we certainly fired up enough fer it.”
“Oh, uhhhh…” Paul stared out the window “Thing is… I jes’ wondering if takin’ the time out fer the games is worth it.”
“Oh?” I snuggled against Shane, felt his body mould to mine and swiveled to face Paul. “How’s that?”
“Well, I’m getting’ married in a few weeks and I thought there be a lotta other things ter be doin’. I mean, well… I ain’t never been married a’fore.”
“Yeah?” I grinned at him “Me neither.”
“Heh. Y’know what I mean…” Paul grinned suddenly. “Jessie wanted me ter set this up an’ set that up… But I’d rather play Ball. Does that make me bad?”
“Nah, don’ think so.” I sniffed, wondering where he was goin’ with this.
“Me neither.” Paul’s breath misted against the window. “See, I said… If’n I do win, I get married as one of the ‘Jukebox Hero’s’… That’s what they callin’ this team, y’know.”
“Oh?” I grinned “Nah, I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah.” He smiled “I told Jessie that I gotta go for this. Fer myself. ‘Cause I wanna do a last …big thing.. afore I… settle.”Wha’ she say ‘bout that, sport?” I watched him trace a stripe in the condensate with a square fingertip.
“She said, ‘Ok’.” he smiled fondly, turned and looked at me “I didn’t want her to think I was goin’ jes’ to test her… or anythin’”
“I reckon she wouldn’t stop you, Flash.” I grinned sleepily “Thing is when you get married… isn’t like you both die and get into mothballs. You gotta grow… together. It’s like… you never ‘settle down’ like it’s a sentence, or anythin’. You move, you grow… you fight, you change… but you change together. You don’t wanna find yerself thirty years down the line with someone you know so well, you don’t gotta speak to them no more.”
“Oh.” Paul looked surprised “I didn’t think of that.”
“All couples need secrets from each other, and together… from the rest of the world.” I smiled quickly to hide the rush of sadness welling up in me. “My Mom used to say that to me. Somethin’ I try to remember mostly.”
“Heh.” Paul grinned “Smart lady.”
“Yeah, she was.” I sighed trying to manage the ripping feeling inside of me “I miss her very much. She taught me a lot, an’ I’m only learning how to use some of that now.”
“I reckon if I didn’t try, then I wasn’t… me.” Paul whispered, choking up. “Man, I’m so scared I don’t deserve her… or anything.”
“Hmmm…” I opened my eyes wider and looked at him directly. “Tell me, Flash, what would your Dad do?”
“He would’ve gone.” Paul frowned.
“An’ your grand-pap?”
“Yep, he went through to State in the sixties, same…” Paul started to grin.
“See, the way I figure it, we all got the same stuff they got. You like them a lot? You wanna be the same sorta Men they are?”
“Yeah.” Paul grinned widely “I reckon I’m proud to be like them.” He was quiet for awhile, then “You reckon they were also nervous as Hell?”
“Yep, surely I do.” I smiled as I started to doze, “I don’t think it would’ve stopped them, though… I reckon you gotta be scared shitless ‘fore you can appreciate courage… or as dead inside as a rock… afore you c’n appreciate real feelings…” My eyelids felt heavy, Shane’s hot skin warmed my back and I yawned hugely, lost my train of thought. Before I drifted off, I’m sure he said quietly “Nah, it wouldn’t…”
The Bus lurched to a halt and I yawned, coming out of my doze. Shane was a warm expanse behind me, and Paul’s head had slumped onto my shoulder, his silky hair tickled my nose. I gently disentangled myself and stepped through the dim aisle to where the driver’s voices were muttering softly to each other.
“Hey guys.” I whispered. “Almost there?”
“Yeah, Big Guy.” Alex whispered back. “Another hour. Last piss stop and change-over.”
“Gimme some a’ that.” I grinned and lightly stepped down into the brisk night air. It must have been about eleven o’clock or so. We had made good time. Jase passed me hiking his jeans and grinned at me.
“Man, this bus handles like a saloon car.”
“Yeah, Cappy was telling me.” I grinned and clicked my belt, unclipping my buttons. “He’s just checking the luggage, there’s more coffee in there for Alex.” Jase stretched, popped his neck. “We’ll see you back inside.”
“Guess so.” I looked over the back where Bobby was hiking the luggage compartment in the tail- lights, and moved up, pulling my dick through my shorts.
“Good time, stud.” Bobby grinned at me while I pissed into the bushes. “The bus was worth it.”
“Guess so.” I muttered back over my shoulder. “You sure got this one planned to a ‘t’.”
“Someone once told me I was a lot better at things, than I thought. Guess they were right.”
“Yup.” I squeezed the last drops from my tube, hiked back and tucked up. “Some people are always right about some things. ‘Specially with guys they know really well.” I moved over to where he was rummaging in the compartment and kissed him in the hollow of his neck, quickly. He smiled shyly and planted a kiss on my lips.
“They’ll be rested, and feel all special… and this one big bus is heaps lot more reliable than the two old ones.” I reminded him.
“Yup.” Bobby grinned as he hauled the thermos out of Alex’s bag. I patted his tush before we stepped out of the cover of the compartment lid and I swung it down for
him while he sorted through the keys to lock it again. “I remember selling the idea to you.”
“All you needed was for me to confirm what you already decided.” I shrugged and took the thermos from him. “You did good. The Boys are suitably impressed.”
“Heh.” He slid the key from the lock, tested the handle. “It’s still a big step. I didn’t think a bank loan would have so much paperwork.”
“Well, buddy… you don’t wanna pay cash for something like this. You might have the shells, but you don’t gotta fork it all out at once. ‘Sides, the insurance is much cheaper this way… and you gotta have it.”
“I would still rather have just paid cash for it, and be done with it.” Bobby smiled, falling in step as we sauntered back to the steps.
“Well… now it’s a comprehensive asset.” I draped an arm over his shoulder. “C’mon, in you go.” I pushed on his butt as he got on the steps.
“Guess Andy is never far from the coffee.” Alex yawned from the driver seat. “Is that like a sixth sense, or some ‘sykick ability?”
“Yup.” I patted his arm on the way past. “But you need it more’n me fer the next hour. Spare some drops, whydoncha?”
“Roger Wilco.” Alex’s arm flexed and the doors hissed shut behind me. Bobby poured some of the hot, milky joe into a metal cup and passed it over to Alex, who sipped while he waited for me to get seated. I plumped down between Paul and Shane and wiggled my butt to clear some space. Paul awoke, startled and sat bolt upright.
“Shhh, it’s OK, we nearly there.” I whispered and tugged him back against my chest. He blinked and then snuggled against my collar bone and dozed off again, sighing deeply. I slipped off into a doze again as Alex eased the coach back onto the road.
It was my turn to startle awake next. The bus had pulled in to our motel and Shane was shaking me awake. Paul was sitting up blinking owlishly.
“Hey, Big Guy, we there.” Shane yawned and ruffled my crew-cut. “Jeez, I gotta pee.” He mauled the hard-on in his jeans flat and stood up. Dean and Mark filed out before us, and we inched down the aisle in single file to where Bobby was unloading the luggage. Shortly after collecting our kit we were trooping to our room, Shane and I in front, Paul behind.