by Caldon Mull
“P-please feel free to stay for awhile afterwards in the garden with the the statues. I am sure this is what he would have wanted… there is a reception in the Main Lodge where there will be refreshments, after this. Thank you all for being here… I will miss him… terribly.”
The reception area was open to the gardens, canvas hunters-green canopies fluttered lazily on mahogany – stained umbrella stands, couples and small groups eating finger-snacks and sipping coffee ebbed and flowed over the slate porch expanse. Glass display cases lined the side of the room opposite the patio doors, each filled with football jerseys, plaques and memorabilia. Five men stood in front of one of the cases, containing several pictures of a man, both with long hair as well as with cropped hair and a noticeable scar kissing a Peach Bowl trophy. The number ‘82’ stared at the men, lost in their own thoughts. A leather-bound journal rested in the case under the medals and bronzed football, along with a leather necklace, woven in beads and wire.
“I’m gonna miss him.” sighed the blond giant. “I can’t believe he’s gone.”
“Me too, Tank.” The stocky man in the Armani sighed “Me too.”
“Yeah, Kid.” Shane sighed “I guess I c’n always go an’ talk to him in that garden outside.”
“I think that was the idea, all along.” Dean flicked a piece of lint off his suit “I’ll always be able to look in his eyes and tell him anythin’.”
“Mano, you were there,” Shane turned to Michel, newly healed cuts glowing pink in his tanned skin “What happened?”
“Ahhh…” Michel sighed and took a deep breath “We were on our way home after a reception from the Technical Institute because Fabian had a presentation that morning and he didn’t want to miss it. We turned a corner and there it was, in the middle of the road heading towards us.” The breath caught in his throat, he stopped and gulped.
“Hey.” The tall man with the goatee touched Michel’s arm “It’s us. We know he wouldn’t have touched a drop, nor drive like an idiot. This was Andy, Mano. We know him better than that.”
“Bobby speaks for all of us, Mano.” The handsome man put an arm over Michel’s shoulder
“I just want to know what happened.”
“Thanks, Will, Bobby.” Michel sipped some water, his voice breaking “I need to run through it in my head, I still…”
“Take your time, Mano.” Shane rumbled, eyes moist “I’d really like to know, but not if it’s gonna break ‘ya.”
“I’m fine, guys.” Michel sighed “It’s… it’s just that it’s been running through my head the last three weeks…’an… ‘an… I’ll get over it somehow.”
“It’s OK, Mano.” Dean smiled sadly “I think Andy had the devil’s own luck when it came to car smashes. Bobby here’ll attest to that.”
“Yeah.” Bobby sighed deeply “I’ve ‘bin wishing he was that luckier this time.”
“Don’t.” Will growled suddenly “Don’t wish for things like that. Andy would’ve smacked you one, buddy. Remember his favourite sayin’ ‘the past is…’”
“…’the past, ain’t nothing you can do ‘bout it.’ Yeah, he would’ve been mad at ‘cha, don’ go diggin’ where you can’t help none.” Dean finished for Will.
“Well, I guess.” Michel continued, “So, Andy yells at me “You got your seatbelt on?” and… well, ‘course I have, you ever know me to travel without it?”
“Heh!” Shane grinned “Nope. Never, you safer than a granny.”
“And I say, ‘Yeah’ and he says ‘Good, ‘cause I’m not sure this is gonna be one we both walk away from’ and then the van hits us, and it’s all confused for awhile.” Mano went pale and took another sip of his OJ before continuing “So I come to and then there’s the airbag and the glass and the hissing sound from the radiator, and I look left ‘an… there’s nothin’ on his side of the car. So I check myself and crawl over the metal and go and look for him…”
The men stayed silent while Michel trailed off, staring at their shoes and keenly aware of their friends distress “…So then I find the van and he’s not in the metal that’s left on his side of the Jeep that’s stuck to the front of it… and the driver inside the van is… is… is paste… ‘an… oh god!”
“…sssshhhhh…” Dean grabbed Michel and hugged and rocked him while the other men stared around, tears welling in their eyes, trying to stay composed.
“I dunno what made me look down the bank, but I scrabbled down to where I saw him lying, all stretched out, like he was making a snow angel, or something. He looks up at me when I get there and smiles to me and says ‘I guess I can count on you and Petey always finding me’ and I say… I say ‘Hold still, I’ll get some help.’ and he says… he says… ‘No, buddy. You okay?’ and I say ‘Yeah.’ And he… he… he says ‘Then just sit here and hold my hand for awhile.’”
“Oh, no… oh Mano.” Will gasped “Oh no.”
“Yeah.” Michel leaned against Shane’s shoulder, his suit damp from Michel’s tears. “He says… he says… ‘I can feel it’s all busted up inside, buddy ‘an I’d rather you stay with me.’ And then… he asks about the other driver and I say ‘No, he’s gone.’ And then… and then he says…‘Mano, I love you. Thank you.’ And I say… ‘Thank you for what?’ … ‘an… ‘an… he says… he… says ‘Tell them, tell them all that. I wanna thank them for my life, for this life’.’
“Ah, man.” Dean sniffed, dabbing his face with the sleeve of his Armani.
“Then, he squeezes my hand and smiles at me ‘an a few minutes later he coughs up blood, and takes a deep breath… and then, he’s gone.” Michel sobbed openly, while the other people in the room bow their heads and look away respectfully “He’s just not there no more… just… not.”
“Hey, buddy.” Bobby folded Michel into his arms “There was nothing you could do. Doctors are amazed he hung on so long. I guess he wanted to tell you that.”
“You know how he was when he really wanted to tell you something.” Dean smiled through his tears “I’m surprised he didn’t find you in the car and shake you awake.”
“Heh!” Shane took a tissue and wiped his eyes “Usin’ that tone of voice ‘a his, you know the ones…’this is a fine time to sleep’ or worse, that one ‘WHAT are you doing, Tank?!?’ … that would’ve ‘bin like him.”
“And I got a chance to tell you.” Michel sighed, deep lines in his face making him look much older suddenly. “All of you, like he wanted.”
“Thanks, man.” Will hugged Michel “It means a lot to me.”
“He meant a lot to me, too.” Michel smiled weakly, “I guess… I guess we owe it to him to go on and make the best of things. He saved my life with that stunt… you understand?”
“Yeah.” Shane nodded “Yeah, we do.”
The men stood in silence for a few moments, lost in their thoughts before Will pointed at the display case “Is that his journal? Y’know, the one he sent to me a few years ago?”
“Yeah.” Shane grinned hugely, blushing “I got to read it, also.”
“I… put it in there in case anyone else wanted to see who he was.” Bobby swallowed thickly “I… think he would have liked his friends to be able to go and read it in the Memorial Garden… if… if they wanted to.”
“He sent it to all of you.” Michel grinned suddenly “I don’t think it would be such a thing, now that we all spent the best part of ten years on those Hiking Trails a’ his, every year.”
“Damn, we still gonna do those?” Bobby grinned suddenly “I don’t think there’s any reason to stop.”
“I think so.” Will sipped his coffee “I think we’re familiar enough now with each other to worry about how long we gonna be friends without Andy.”
“Sides, Marcie really insists I go away with you guys every year.” Michel grinned “She says it gives me perspective.”
“Yeah, Cat says the same.” Bobby pondered, stroking his goatee thoughtfully “I guess he really did change our lives… all for the better. Instead of mis
sing him, and guys… you all know how much I’m missing him, you read the journal…”
“Yeah, Cappy… we know.” Dean nodded “Me too…”
“So, next year is next year, and we each say something ‘bout him then. Something special to us that was with him, and only with him.” Bobby sighed.
“Yeah, sounds good, Cappy.” Shane reached over and mauled them all in a hug “In the mean time, let me go and see on Fabian and the kids.”
“Yeah, and Moon Shadow also.” Dean nodded and put his glass down “Family must stick together.”
“Y’know guys.” Michel looked up at them as they turned to leave “That’s somethin’ Andy did for all of us.”
“What’s that?” Will looked puzzled.
“We’re family… we’re all Andy’s family.” Michel pointed to the display case “Kid and Tank and Cappy all by marriage and adoption, ‘an me ‘an Will by business and by choice. He’s not just here, or in this book or in bronze out in the garden… he’s here, always in our hearts.”
“And we’re in each other’s’.” Will nodded. “Every minute of every day. I don’t feel like he’s gone, guys. I really don’t. I feel like he’s here, inside me all the time. While he’s in here, I’m not missing him. I can’t.”
“He said something like that to me, a long time ago.” Dean nodded “I think it was at Black Bear’s funeral. Will’s right, y’know. Mano, call me if you wanna talk but I think you just worked out how to get over this. You need any of us… for anything… just call. I’ll be there for you no matter what, my brother.”
“I will, White Eagle, my brother.” Michel bowed his head to hide his feelings “You will always be my brother, and you have always been there for me.”
“And me too, Painted Horse.” Bobby reached over and massaged the steel-cord muscles in Michel’s neck “I make the same offer, and I hope you will never find me lacking.”
“Thank you, Mourning Song. I have this empty space in my life, suddenly, and without you both I don’t think I would be able to stare it down. No matter how I’m feeling now, only losing a child could be worse.” Michel smiled sadly and turned to go and console Parsons.
Bobby watched the people meet up in huddles, speak for awhile then break apart and reform, like waves on the beach. He watched his wife and his three boys, somber for a change. Now that their Uncle Andy was gone, there would be no long jogs and cycle rides with Cat and Moon Shadow. Bobby resolved to keep up that habit. Nothing was more pleasing to Cat than having her three power houses all tuckered out after their afternoon session with Andy, leaving her more energy to pay attention to his well-being.
Parsons was looking increasingly frail, considering he was close to seventy and some of the technology things Andy had begun were well into the realms of voodoo. Man! He really was a Genius, he thought ruefully. As executor of his Estate, Bobby was only beginning to realize what his quiet, intense friend was really capable of.
Moon Shadow and Dean were having a huddled conversation, Fabian was there with them holding onto the little Twins, Carl and Luke. He was tall, the boy… taking after Shane in physique rather than Kyle. He was twelve, and already over 6’2”, he was bound to be as big, possibly even bigger, than Shane when full-grown. His gentle and studious nature though, was all Andy’s work. After they found Connie dead in a crack-house in ‘97, Andy had formally adopted Fabian, with Shane as guardian. Moon Shadow had loved the boy from the moment they had met. Andy’s eight-year old ‘little’ twins would probably match Andy’s height when grown, they looked a lot like him already.
Bobby felt a pang remembering Kyle for a moment, a feeling that started when the busts were first unveiled this morning. No matter what, and with all of his heart, he would see Michel get through this. Inside Bobby was torn between guilt at not being the one at Andy’s side when he died, and being spared the horror of watching his friend die. Bobby couldn’t think what he would be like if he had been in Michel’s shoes that night.
He found his feet moving on their own until he was standing in the small, hedged garden with its’ bronzed heroes. His hand moved of its own accord until it touched the sun-warmed metal, running over the sharp cheeckbones and square jaw, more familiar in some instances, than his own.
“I know you’re watching, big guy.” He whispered “I’ve named my lake ‘Junco lake’ and they’re going to update all the maps with it. The ‘Junco’ is a Finch. I thought you’d appreciate that, you always liked subtle.” Bobby rested his forehead against the statue’s forehead. “I didn’t think you’d ever leave me, but you always said ‘live each day like it’s your last’ … and, well…” Bobby’s tears slowly welled over his lids and ran down the statues cheeks, if he noticed, he didn’t seem to care
“It was your birthday yesterday… so ‘happy birthday’, Andy. I got you that Fob Watch you always wanted, guess I’ll give it to Fabby for his 16th birthday instead. Alex is here with his what, fourth wife? This year was one of his best, even though he say’s he’s going to retire after this season. Dean’s contract has been renewed, his team looks like superbowl material for 2009. He’s looking good and Meat lost another 5 pounds so he’s not looking so bad either, and Petey is nearly bald.
“He’s been doing weights though, and the Doctors say his heart attack isn’t going to affect his health, like it was a ‘warning’.” Bobby drew a deep, trembling breath “Cain divorced Patricia last week, everyone saw it coming except Patricia. Y’know, after he became Headman when Black Bear died, he’s been trying to keep up what you started with the Tribe, an’ he’s been doing that well. She just never saw why he worked so hard.”
“I’m gonna thank you for my life back. I’m… glad things worked out this way, my friend. I’ll miss you… and I will until I die, but I won’t swap a minute of my life for anything. I guess you didn’t know this, but I bless every day since I met you, since you came to Storyville. An’ I know I’m not the only one. Now that you’re gone, it’s going to be hard, you taught me how to be myself, but you fought tooth and nail to become who you were, and I will never, ever forget that.
“Before I go back to my wife and my family, I want to say something back to you… where- ever you are… I love you.”
Bobby stood from his whispered conversation, straightened his tie and wiped at his cheeks until they felt dry. He touched the statues’ face and smeared his tears against the metal cheek with his thumb, tenderly. Bobby turned and stopped before Kyle’s statue. He smiled at the beautiful, young face in the firefighter’s kit.
“All the things we talked about while we were kids, all the dreams we had, eh?” Bobby sighed “I know why he loved you, dude… same reason I did. I think that somehow, all of us knew you’d wink out bright and fast and that every minute with you was like a thousand years in real time. You were very similar, you two… all the dreams that ever came true for us three, I’m the only one still living in mine.” Bobby sighed and ran his long fingers over the statues lips “Take care of Andy in heaven Kyle, until it’s my turn.”
He squared his shoulders and walked past the statue in the tribal gear, and back towards the Lodge, lights winking on brightly against the cold sunset and icy breeze off the Lake, the patio doors closing against the chill.
In the deserted garden, fallen leaves whipped around the statues. In the growing gloom on the shore close by, an eight-point stag and his doe took water while the bronze eyes watched lake, stars and mountain with metallic indifference.
The End
About the Author
Caldon Mull has had a long publishing career in Technology, and various Game publications under different nom de plumes, and in his own name. He has travelled extensively throughout Africa and Central Asia, and has even worked in Antarctica. “Storyville” is his first foray into the Erotica Genre. When he is not currently working in a Technology field, he is writing Science Fiction and Fantasy. He is an unrepentant petrolhead with a weakness for Classic Italian Cars.
Other books by Caldo
n Mull
Please visit your favorite eBook retailer to discover other books by Caldon Mull:
Stand Alone Novels (Various Genres)
Storyville (Gay Erotica/Literary Fiction)
Eternity (Paranormal/Literary Fiction) (Coming 3rd Quarter 2016)
The Sol Senate Future History (Science Fiction/Utopia-Dystopia)
The Estuary Tales
The Sphinx
The Agency Tales (Urban Fantasy)
The Memoirs of a Faun
Omnipresent Occultation
The Smithereens (Science Fantasy/Short Story Anthologies)
Shards
Fragments (Coming 2nd Quarter 2016)
Collaborations (Young Adult, Science Fantasy Anthologies)
The Flight of the Phoenix - Edited by Natalie Rivener
Connect with Caldon Mull
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