Nathenek grinned. “That’s Savenek for you.”
Her heart squeezed. A joker with a sense of humor. Another part of him.
“What’s the matter?” Nathenek asked.
She climbed onto the saddle. “Nothing.”
“We can’t pull this off unless you’re all in,” he said. “You must be sharp. No distractions.”
Leaning forward, she stroked the side of Horse’s neck. “I’m not usually this emotional,” she said. “Sorry, it won’t happen again.” She would push all thoughts of her brother aside. Her focus had to be Jana and the task ahead. Once they eliminated the evil woman, Allyssa could return home to be with her parents and meet her brother. She would wear the crown and take her rightful place as the future ruler of Emperion.
***
Allyssa and Nathenek rode hard and fast over the next week, heading for Jontis. Nathenek proved to be an easy traveling companion. They woke before the sun rose, trained, ate, and then rode all day. Allyssa enjoyed working with him. He taught her tricks for getting out of a scrape in a sword fight, and how to attack when her opponent least expected it. In short, he taught her to fight dirty. In return, she showed him what Kerdan had taught her in Clovek. Since they were going into Russek, she thought it best Nathenek know the army’s unique fighting techniques.
On the seventh night, they stopped earlier than usual, not wanting to cross over into Russek in the evening. They found a quaint spot nestled under the towering trees far enough away from the trail not to be seen. Nathenek rubbed down the horses while Allyssa refilled their water containers at the nearby creek. When she returned to the campsite, she plopped onto her bedroll.
“Why do you keep doing that?” Nathenek asked. She scrunched her forehead in confusion, having no idea what he meant. “Your shoulder. You’re always rubbing or touching it. Why?”
Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. She hadn’t even realized she was doing that. When she touched her shoulder, memories slammed into her—the explosion, the wood shard impaling into it, Eliza beating her, the escape, her infection, almost losing her arm, and the break-up. It was all tied together.
She abruptly stood and left the campsite, needing space. It was hard to breathe, hard to get enough air. The leaves crunched behind her as Nathenek neared.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to pry.”
Gazing at the tall pines surrounding them, she watched the needles flutter in the wind. “It’s an injury. It’s still healing.”
“Is it bothering you?”
No. Yes. “It’s fine.”
“Are you certain?”
She nodded. The skin was tender, but it didn’t hurt. “A healer in Fren stitched my skin together, and I took medicine for it.” Thankfully, the healer managed to ward off the infection and save her arm. However, Allyssa would always have a noticeable and hideous scar.
“If it becomes painful or changes in appearance, let me know.”
“I will.” His concern was touching.
“I need to get back to the horses.” His sleeves were rolled up, and he held a horse brush in his hand.
“I’ll be right there.” As soon as he was out of sight, she pulled the collar of her shirt away from her shoulder and examined her recently healed injury. The area that had been stitched was puffy and deformed. Lightly touching it with her finger, she realized her nails were completely healed. No one would be able to tell they’d been ripped out. Curling her fingers in, she made a fist, trying to keep the painful memory at bay, not wanting to relive what happened in the dungeon. Her stomach rolled with nausea. She needed to stay busy to keep her mind focused on something else. Dwelling in the past would do her no good.
Back at camp, she questioned Nathenek about the Russek attack that occurred several weeks ago. Since she had been traveling to Fren at the time, fighting for her life, she didn’t know a lot of the details. “I know Emperion sustained several hundred deaths while Fren sat idly by doing nothing to help. What else do you know?”
“Not much,” he replied as he checked each horse’s hooves.
“I was told Kerdan ordered the retreat on Russek’s end.”
“I did not know that. Savenek wanted to enlist. To keep him from doing so, I took him on a hunting trip. As a result, my own knowledge of the attack is vague. However, it is my understanding that most of the fighting took place in Fia and Landania.” He came over and leaned against the tree next to her. “I also know the Russek army is vicious. They show no mercy.”
“They’re monsters.”
“And yet you speak so highly of Prince Kerdan. Isn’t he a captain in the army?” He pulled out a dagger and began cleaning his nails with the tip of it.
The company of the army Kerdan controlled seemed different from the rest of the Russek army. However, she had no proof—it was just the impression she got from watching a handful of them sparring that one afternoon.
“I want to ask you a question, and I want you to fully consider it before answering.”
“Okay.”
He kept his focus on his dagger, not looking at her as he spoke. “Do you trust Kerdan?”
She was about to say yes when she realized he wanted her to think on the matter first. Knowing Nathenek, he wouldn’t ask the question without having a specific reason. “Why do you ask?” Did he know something she didn’t? Had something happened?
He put the dagger away. “I’ve been thinking over everything you’ve told me. Are you certain Kerdan hates Jana? That the two of them aren’t in league, working with one another? It seems rather convenient that his father is out of the way. The Russek line is entailed through Kerdan, not Jana, and yet, she still sits on the throne. War is expensive and time consuming.”
“I’m not following you.” What was he trying to say?
“If you marry Kerdan, he could kill you in your sleep or slip poison into your food. Then he’d rule over Emperion and Russek. And isn’t that what Jana is after? I can’t help but wonder if this is some elaborate plot to gain control over Emperion.”
Her body felt numb. Instinctively, she wanted to tell Nathenek it wasn’t possible. Kerdan had never given her a reason to doubt him.
“I’m going to do a perimeter run. Stay here and consider what I’ve said. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes.”
While she wanted to dismiss Nathenek’s theory, she couldn’t. It deserved careful consideration. One thing she’d learned from her parents was that the opinion of others mattered. She couldn’t let her own feelings and emotions blind her. Stretching out on her bedroll, Allyssa thought over her time in Russek with Kerdan. Could he be secretly working with Jana? Or did Kerdan truly hate his stepmother as he claimed? After she found the letter from his deceased mother expressing her concern over Jana, Allyssa began trusting and understanding him. But she’d also witnessed the king chop off a boy’s arm, and Kerdan did nothing to stop the boy’s death.
Allyssa rubbed her tired eyes. Kerdan was a brute in public. Feared, lethal, aggressive. In private, he was quiet, kind, and thoughtful. He’d brought her a book to read, clothes to wear, and food to eat. He snuck her out of the castle, took her to the garrison, and came up with a way they could help each other. He made sure food was secretly taken to the local village, he was fair to the men under his command, and those around him seemed to truly respect him. The one thing that stood out in his favor more than all the others—the maps he’d hidden so Odar and Allyssa could find their way out of Russek. That simple gesture, going a step above what was necessary, proved Kerdan’s friendship.
But could that have been one elaborate plot to entrap her? He didn’t have to save her from certain death in the first place. He could have killed her when the king commanded it. Jana had been salivating at the mouth she’d wanted Allyssa dead so badly. Yet, Kerdan stepped in and challenged Jana. He’d managed to get his father to side with him, not the queen. And when Kerdan proposed to Allyssa, his face had revealed a hint of uncertainty along with sheer loneliness. There
hadn’t been an ounce of greed there.
The horses whinnied as Nathenek returned to the campsite.
“I have my answer for you.”
“Already?” he asked, taking a seat on his bedroll and removing his boots.
“I trust Kerdan with my life.”
Chapter Seven
Racing through the dark forest as fast as her legs could go, Allyssa tripped over a tree root and landed on her hands and knees. Someone chuckled, the sound echoing around her. Scrambling to her feet, she started running again. Footsteps pounded not far behind. Up ahead, she saw a sword protruding from a pine tree. She yanked it free and turned to face her pursuer. Soma stood there, blood dripping from his hands and mouth. He smiled.
Allyssa screamed and woke up. Sweat covered her body and her hands shook.
“You all right?” Nathenek asked.
She rolled onto her side. It was still dark out, the stars visible through the pine trees towering above them. “I’m fine.” Her voice sounded weak.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Crickets chirped—the only sound besides her rapid breathing. “No.”
“Every night, you toss and turn in your sleep. Sometimes, you yell. It might help if you talk about it.”
“It’s the middle of the night,” she snapped. Couldn’t he leave her alone? “I already told you I don’t want to talk about it.” Hounding her wasn’t going to help. “Besides, I don’t even know you.” She rolled onto her back. Her dreams would eventually go away. They had to.
“True. However, I feel like I know you because you are Savenek’s twin. Like it or not, I care for you by default.”
What would Allyssa’s brother think of her once he knew what she’d done? What about Rema and Darmik? Would they be revolted and not want anything to do with her?
“Sometimes talking to someone you aren’t close to is easier.” He rolled over, his voice clearer. “But if you’d rather wait to talk to your mother, I understand. Please know that because you are Savenek’s sister, I want to help in any way I can.”
Taking a deep breath, she considered her options. Lay there, unable to sleep, with Soma invading her every thought. Or, try talking about it with a man who would probably keep her darkest secrets safe. It couldn’t get any worse. At this point, she had nothing to lose and everything to gain. “He haunts me. Every time I close my eyes.”
“Who?” he asked carefully.
“Soma, Jana’s son, the assassin I killed.” She’d wanted to hurt him for all he’d done, needed to cause him as much pain as possible. And she’d reveled in his screams. Desired more. How far would she have gone if Odar hadn’t stopped her? The memories made her want to vomit. How could she have lost it like that? Hacking off his fingers?
“Why do you think that is?” he asked.
“You’re the assassin. You tell me.”
“I think you already know.”
“Guilt.” She’d taken another life; now she was paying for it.
“Are you sorry you killed him?” he asked.
“No, I’m not.” If Soma lived, he would have murdered more people. She’d saved lives by taking his. “If it’s not guilt, then what is it?” Did Nathenek experience these feelings every time he killed someone? Was this normal? She didn’t know if she could handle living with it.
“It’s called a conscience.”
“How’s that different from guilt?” she asked, turning to face him. She could only see the outline of his body in the darkness. It helped not being able to see his face while she talked about this.
“If you killed someone and felt nothing, no remorse for taking a life, then that would mean you are heartless.”
Tears filled her eyes. “He was a monster. I hated him. I wanted to kill him.” That was the part that scared her—the desire to take his life.
“To feel, to hurt, is to be human,” he said. “Cherish those feelings.”
Tears slid down her cheeks. The pain, the terror, the memories choking her. “Do you feel?” she whispered.
“There was a point in my life where I stopped feeling. It was the only way to survive. When your mother gave Savenek to me to raise, I began to feel again. I’ve had no greater job in the world than raising him as my son.”
“You really love him? Even though he is not your blood?” Even though he had to have known that one day, Savenek would be taken from him?
“I love him as if he were my own child.” He spoke with a firm conviction, and it warmed her heart.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” he asked.
“For taking care of my brother. For loving him like your own. I can’t imagine what he’s thinking or feeling right now. But for me, I’m thankful he wasn’t raised by an uncaring person. Someone not worthy of him.” Savenek had to consider Nathenek his father. Now that he knew the truth, how did he feel? If the roles were reversed and Allyssa was told Rema and Darmik weren’t her parents, she would be devastated. She’d be hurt, betrayed, furious. At least Nathenek had known the truth. He knew this day would come and he wasn’t blindsided like her brother.
“Savenek was upset when your parents came and told him the truth. Unfortunately, we didn’t have any time alone to discuss the matter. He was whisked away that night. I don’t know if he’s furious with me or not.”
Her brother probably understood Nathenek was only following Rema and Darmik’s orders—the empress and emperor. He couldn’t be mad at Nathenek. But with her parents, he did have a right to be hurt and angry. And what about Allyssa? Would Savenek resent her growing up with their parents? It felt strange to realize she was no longer her parents’ only child. She would have to share them.
“Get some sleep,” Nathenek said. “It will get better. All you can do right now is focus on the positive. Choose how to lead your life. The memories will never be gone completely; they will always be there inside of you. But they will fade, and it will be manageable.”
***
Lying on their stomachs, Allyssa and Nathenek observed the small border town of Jontis below. Even though they were hidden beneath a bush, she still felt oddly exposed. Men dressed in commoner clothing stood on every corner and outside of every establishment. Their wide shoulders and predatory gazes revealed their ruthlessness, marking them for what they were—Russek soldiers.
“Let’s get out of here,” she whispered in Nathenek’s ear. Being this close to the Russek beasts made her skin tingle.
He shook his head and pointed at his eyes, then back at the town. Not knowing what he was looking for, she put her head on her hands, taking deep breaths while trying to control her fear. She couldn’t let the mere sight of Russek soldiers send her cowering like a child. Allyssa had survived Russek, escaped, and now it was time to make them pay. She breathed in the smell of the moist dirt below her body, strength and determination filling her.
Thick clouds overhead concealed the sun, casting a gray hue to the dreary town. She started watching the soldiers, trying to determine who was in charge and what they were looking for. Probably a young woman matching her description. After a while, a pattern emerged. The men were divided into groups of ten, each patrolling a block. One man checked in with each group every thirty minutes or so. After he spoke to one person from each group, he headed to the northern part of the town and entered a small inn. Whoever oversaw this operation had to be leading it from there.
Nathenek tapped her shoulder and pointed behind them. She nodded and slowly scooted back, taking care not to rustle the bush. Crouching low, they returned to their horses a short distance away.
Once mounted, Nathenek said, “My suspicion is confirmed. Jana set a trap to lure you here.”
Allyssa rubbed her temple, wondering if Jana had set a similar trap for Odar. If so, had he fallen for it? “Do you think Jana is down there?”
“No. She is probably still in Clovek.”
“Where to?” As soon as she asked the question, she knew. “You want to go to the Womek estate in sou
thern Russek, don’t you?”
A sly smile spread across his face. “I was actually going to suggest we send word to Prince Kerdan. But since you’ve mentioned it, I think that’s a superb idea.”
“Do you know the Womek family?” The name was unfamiliar to her. However, when Kerdan had told her how to get in touch with him, she’d been with Neco. He’d recognized the name.
“Yes. Don’t you?” Nathenek asked, steering his horse northward.
She racked her brain, trying to remember everything she’d learned. “The name isn’t one I recognize.”
“Duke Womek’s daughter married someone from Emperion. I thought you knew this?” He glanced over his shoulder at her, his eyebrows pulling together. “Maybe you’re too young to remember.” He slowed his horse so they were now riding side by side. “After your mother became the empress, she sent an envoy to Russek. They met with Duke Womek—the late queen’s brother. He had a daughter of marriageable age. She met and fell in love with a man named Traco. Traco is one of your father’s most trusted and loyal friends who served in his elite squad. Rema approved the marriage; King Drenton did not. The king and duke had a falling out over it.”
Interesting. Allyssa didn’t recall her mother or father ever mentioning it. Obviously Kerdan knew of the situation; otherwise, he wouldn’t have recommended they send messages for him to the duke—who was his uncle. “I find the situation more complicated by the second,” she mused.
“I find Prince Kerdan intriguing.”
Allyssa reached back, pulling up the hood of her cloak. Nathenek’s suspicions whispered in her head, planting seeds of doubt. While she wanted to dismiss his concerns about Kerdan, she couldn’t. There were still too many sides to Kerdan she hadn’t seen. “What’s your opinion on the prince?”
“I don’t have one. Which is strange. Usually I have a feeling one way or the other, but based on what you’ve told me, I can’t get a read on him.”
“How do we plan to lure Jana into a trap? Are we going to the duke’s and sending word to Kerdan?”
“Yes. We’ll figure out the rest of our plan once we’re there. For now, we have to pray we’re not going to be ambushed at the duke’s.” He nudged his horse to a canter, pulling ahead of her. She followed, wondering exactly what Nathenek had in mind. Because one thing was certain, he didn’t do anything without having multiple backup plans in place. So, while he acted like the idea of going to the duke’s had just occurred to him, she knew full well that it had been his intention all along. Now she just needed to figure out why.
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