They walked in silence while Allyssa mulled over what he’d said. “When do you plan to change your behavior?” She worried that if he acted like his father, he would never stop.
“After some time has passed, then I can begin to rule the way I want. What do you think?” He glanced at the sun and adjusted their path to the left.
“Do you want my honest opinion?”
“That’s why I asked you.”
She loved that he wanted to know her thoughts on the matter. That he considered her opinion valuable. Especially since she was not only opinionated, but also had an extensive education. Darmik had insisted she learn military strategy in addition to her regular lessons. She’d studied and read about all the battles on the mainland. Her father allowed her to accompany him on trips to visit different branches of the military stationed throughout Emperion. Thinking over everything she had learned, what she had seen, and what she encountered in Russek, she tried to organize her thoughts.
“You’re taking an awfully long time to answer,” Kerdan mused. “Do you not agree with me?”
“I do to an extent. However, this is also a two-tiered explanation.”
He laughed. “Two-tiered?”
“Yes, depending on whether we marry or not.” They still hadn’t decided what would happen if they married. Would she live in Russek, allowing Savenek to rule Emperion? Would Kerdan come to live in Emperion with her? How would they rule Russek? Via a regent? Or would they merge their kingdoms? There were a great many things to consider.
“Assume we marry. How would you advise me to handle the situation?” He continued walking at her side.
“My father has always taught me that an army should be ruled by a strong leader. Being vicious, brutal, or unyielding does not make you strong.” She eyed Kerdan to see if he’d object. When he didn’t attempt to contradict her, she continued, “Men will follow you if you lead by example and if you are fair. Now, that is not to say you should be a pansy and allow your men to wallop your arse.”
Kerdan chuckled.
“What I’m trying to say is that you can be a strong leader without being a brute like your father.”
They walked in silence for several minutes.
“I only saw you with your company of the army once,” Allyssa said. “I remember your men respecting you. You did not treat them as men beneath you. They were your comrades in arms, and I felt their loyalty to you.”
“I had not considered that. I’d assumed that the rest of the army wouldn’t follow unless I ruled with an iron fist.”
“You may need to be firm in the beginning. However, you do not need to be your father. Don’t set the precedence.” Not once did he say she didn’t know what she was talking about, that she’d never led an army before, or that she was only a woman. Rather, he seemed to ponder what she’d said. Something inside of her shifted, as if a door opened and revealed possibilities. A future that she hadn’t dared imagine—one filled with hope.
“You should talk with my father,” she added. “After Emperor Hamen was executed, he took control of Emperion’s brutal army and molded it into what it is today. It took him years, but he did it, and I’m sure he has valuable advice on the matter.”
“I had not thought of seeking your father’s counsel. I’m not sure he’d give it to me.”
“He would. Whether we marry or not, he will be more than willing to help you.” She trudged on, thinking of the roles Kerdan would have to play once he became king. She had a tough time picturing him in Emperion. Court life would stifle him. However, she couldn’t consider living in Clovek. Not where there were so many memories. Not when Russek was so harsh and unwelcoming. But how to have that conversation?
As if he knew what she was thinking, Kerdan asked, “Odar planned to live with you in Lakeside?”
“He did.” She quickly explained that his parents would have continued to rule Fren until their deaths. At that time, a regent would have been appointed to rule while Odar remained in Emperion with Allyssa.
“I assume you would like to stay there with your parents?” he asked.
“I don’t ascend to the throne until I’m thirty, so there is some flexibility.” Granted, she was a princess and had duties, needed to be involved in the politics of the land, and to continue to learn how to be an empress.
“I wouldn’t mind living with a loving family. It might be a pleasant change.” His voice was gruff as he admitted that.
“I… I don’t want to rule Emperion alone. I’d like a partner. But that means you’d have to learn the politics of our land as well.”
“That doesn’t scare me,” he replied. “I know there will be a lot to learn. Especially about your ridiculous, backward customs.” He grinned at her, and she punched his arm. “As long as there is time for the two of us to take a hunting trip now and then—so you can show me your killer aim—then I am sure we can make it work.”
***
They walked all day. Not once had Odar bothered to say a word to her. After she’d spoken with Kerdan, she dropped back to see how Odar was doing. He ignored her, not even answering her questions. His silence was maddening. A simple How are you? would have been nice. Something. Anything to prove he was a man with feelings. A little nagging voice in her head asked why she cared. Perhaps it was simply hard to admit that she had loved someone who could behave so callously. His actions proved how little she knew him.
“What’s wrong?” Nathenek asked, startling her.
“Oh, nothing. I’m just thinking. Not much else to do.” She tried to smile.
“Maybe that will cheer you up.” He pointed ahead of them.
Allyssa looked up and saw her father and Neco not far away. She took off running.
Darmik smiled. When she reached him, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. “About time,” he said. “I was beginning to wonder what was taking so long.”
“Are you okay?” Neco asked when her father released her.
“Fine.”
Kerdan, Nathenek, and Odar joined them.
“Where are your men?” Darmik asked Kerdan. When Kerdan whistled, Hurit and Larek emerged from the forest, joining them. “Where are the rest of them?”
“These are the only men I had on the mission,” Kerdan replied.
Darmik stilled. “Only two? I thought there were a dozen.”
Kerdan took a deep breath, standing tall—even taller than her father. “Originally, I planned to have twelve men. Upon further examination, I decided it was better to have only a couple of men embedded in a squad loyal to Jana. I thought the chance of success would be higher.”
Darmik’s eyes narrowed, and Allyssa could feel her father’s fury rising. Biting her bottom lip, she wasn’t sure if she should warn Kerdan or laugh at the lecture that was sure to come. She’d been on the receiving end of her father’s lectures far too many times. “I, too, had assumed I would be with a squad of your men. Not only two.”
“Does it matter?” Kerdan asked. “It’s all said and done now.” He cocked his head to the side, observing her.
“My daughter’s life was in the hands of Russeks loyal to Jana. I only agreed to this plan with the intention she would be safe at all times.” Darmik took a menacing step toward Kerdan, his face contorting with rage.
Allyssa glanced at Odar, who leaned against a tree, his ankles crossed, a smile on his lips as he watched the spectacle play out before him. He was enjoying this far too much.
“She was safe,” Kerdan insisted. “I had two of my best men with her.”
Neco reached toward her father, withdrawing the sword strapped around Darmik’s waist and the dagger in his boot. Neco tossed the weapons to Nathenek, who caught them with ease. Surely such precautions weren’t necessary. Her father wouldn’t attack Kerdan, would he?
“Two men,” Darmik repeated, his voice almost a growl. “Two.”
“The number doesn’t matter so long as they are competent,” Kerdan replied. “And Allyssa is here, safe and sound
.”
“The issue is that you lied to me.”
“No, I didn’t. I said I would have my men protecting her, and I did.”
“You told me there would be a dozen men with her!”
“There were twelve men with her. At no time did I specifically say how many of the twelve would be my men. You made assumptions.”
Darmik swung and punched Kerdan in the stomach. Allyssa was certain Kerdan could have blocked the strike but chose not to. Darmik grabbed Kerdan’s shoulders, bringing their faces close together. Darmik whispered something so softly that no one else could hear.
Kerdan’s face turned white. “I understand,” he replied. “But I would like to say something.”
Darmik released him and motioned for Nathenek, who stepped forward, returning her father’s weapons. Darmik sheathed his sword and dagger. “What do you feel you need to say to me?” he said, his voice clipped with anger.
Allyssa wasn’t sure the two of them should be standing so close together. Her father had punched Kerdan. She’d never seen him do that before outside the training room. And now he was armed.
“While I understand you’re upset,” Kerdan said, not even fazed by her father’s barely controlled fury, “I think you do not give your daughter enough credit.”
Shock rolled through Allyssa. Darmik froze, his hand on the hilt of his dagger. “What did you say?” he whispered.
Neco chuckled but quickly masked it with a pathetic cough.
“Allyssa is a strong, competent woman,” Kerdan replied. “I saw what she went through and endured in Clovek. I had no doubt she could take care of herself. It didn’t matter whether I had one, two, or twenty men. She is clever, resourceful, and an excellent fighter.”
Darmik pinched the bridge of his nose. “Don’t you understand? She is my only daughter. I love her more than life itself. And you put her in danger. It doesn’t matter how competent she is if she’s dead.”
“Did you really have no reservations about my safety?” she asked Kerdan. She’d spent so much of her life protected, shielded, not allowed to do anything. That was one of the reasons she snuck out of the castle at night—for a sense of freedom.
Kerdan quickly glanced at Darmik before answering. “The moment I saw you fight my men in front of my father, the way you wielded that sword that was almost as big as you, I knew nothing could stop you.”
No one spoke as Kerdan’s words registered with each of them.
Darmik blinked.
Odar abruptly turned away, his back to them.
“Thank you,” Allyssa replied. So often she only heard what she couldn’t do, that it was nice to hear what she could do. And a compliment from Kerdan, a ruthless military man used to battle, was something to cherish.
“We don’t have time to stand around here arguing,” Kerdan said. “For this plan to work, I need Hurit and Larek to join seven of my soldiers who are waiting for us with a man and woman matching Odar and Allyssa’s descriptions. They will go to the duke’s house where Jana is expecting them. When they get there, Hurit and Larek will take the decoys into the house. Then we attack. I have two hundred and fifty men getting into position as we speak.”
Allyssa realized no one had said a word since Kerdan’s declaration. Well then. She rubbed her lower back. “Are we walking or are there horses nearby?” She looked around hopefully, not seeing any.
“My men have horses for us. We only need to travel about five miles due west.”
She groaned. Five more miles. But at least there would be horses. And Kerdan thought she was an excellent fighter.
***
Allyssa pulled her horse to a halt, observing the lush valley before her. A river ran between two hills covered with wildflowers. She breathed in the sweet, fragrant scent. “It’s beautiful.” Until now, she hadn’t thought Russek capable of being beautiful.
Kerdan came alongside her, leaning forward on his horse and gazing at the scenery below. “You know, not everything in Russek is bleak, dirty, or smelly.” He turned to face her. “I’ve told you before, we used to be a prosperous kingdom. I will see it returned to its former glory.” He spoke with such conviction that Allyssa knew he would make it happen.
She patted her horse’s neck. Her father and the rest of their group had dismounted thirty feet behind them under the cover of some colossal oak trees. “Why is your army so vicious?”
“What exactly do you mean by vicious?” Kerdan asked.
She tried to block the images of her mutilated soldiers in the cave, the heads on spikes at the Russek border, the fires burning entire villages. “It seems that killing is the first option, not negotiation or imprisonment.” And not a clean kill either, but killing in the most brutal, inhumane way imaginable.
“I can see how you would think that.” His horse nickered, probably wanting to join the others and drink from the nearby stream. “In Russek, we do try to negotiate. Our talks are usually short and to the point, though. We have found that if we strike hard and fast, not only is there a higher success rate, but we also lose less men.”
She shook her head. “It’s the individual soldier’s viciousness that I’m referring to. I’ve heard Russek soldiers take things too far by raping women and killing children. I saw what they did to my own men. Instead of killing them, they tortured and dismembered them. There is no need for that.”
“I agree.” It felt as if his eyes were scanning every inch of her face, assessing her. “You met my father; he was not a kind man. I think that the army reflects him.” He shifted on the saddle, no longer watching her.
“What is it?” she asked.
“I used to think my father was a good man. Since his death, I’ve been thinking a lot about him and my childhood. I wonder, perhaps, if my memories are somewhat tainted by my childhood eyes.”
She mulled over that idea, feeling as if Kerdan had opened a small part of himself for her to see. The thought both scared and thrilled her. This man, who wore so many masks, was becoming clearer to her.
“Any time my father paid attention to me, taught me a new trick with the sword, I thought he must really love me. He would shower me with gifts, make sure I had the best instructors, and when I turned thirteen, he allowed me to enlist in the army. Now, as a man looking back, I realize he wasn’t around that often. My mother was always there, but not my father. For some reason, I had this notion that my parents were these perfect people who loved one another and could do no wrong. I understand that is what they wanted people to perceive, but that was not the case.” His eyes turned glassy.
“Regardless of how they felt about one another, they loved you.” Allyssa had spent a limited amount of time with the king and even she had seen he loved his son.
Kerdan nodded, not responding.
“I love my parents dearly,” she whispered, not wanting her voice to carry to the campsite. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t ever get mad at them.” She swallowed. “Like… like with my twin brother Savenek. They kept that secret from me. Didn’t tell me my brother was alive. I can’t decide how I feel about it. I’m devastated they lied about something so important. Yet, I’m thrilled I have a brother. It’s complicated. No one is perfect. But I know my parents love me.”
Kerdan glanced over his shoulder at Darmik standing with his arms crossed, watching the two of them talk to one another. “I can see your father loves you,” Kerdan said. “As do a number of people.”
She didn’t want to turn around again because she knew, even without looking, that Neco and Nathenek were watching her every move. Ready to pounce and protect her if necessary. She smiled.
“Even Odar,” Kerdan commented, glancing pointedly at her hands.
The wooden ring Odar had given her was still on her finger. Twisting it around, she didn’t know what to do with it. She’d forgotten it was even on.
“After we kill Jana tomorrow, things will move very quickly. I need to be crowned king, weed out those loyal to Jana, and begin withdrawing troops from Melenia.”<
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Kerdan dismounted, going to the front of his horse and petting its nose. He peered up at Allyssa. “If we’re going to enter marriage negotiations, I’d like to know what to expect.”
“If you have any demands—”
“No.” He cut her off. “What I mean is whether this will be a marriage in name only.”
Oh. Was this Kerdan’s way of telling her he didn’t really want to marry her? When he’d proposed, he said he needed Emperion. But he never said he needed her. They were friends, nothing more. “What would you prefer?” she countered.
He focused on the horse in front of him, half hiding behind it. She dismounted, wanting to see his face. “Kerdan?” He wouldn’t look at her. She hesitated, and then reached out, touching his forearm. He froze. “What sort of marriage do you want?”
Without looking at her, he replied, “I thought I wanted a marriage like my parents. Only, now, I realize I’m not even sure what their relationship was.” He leaned his head against his horse. “I have little to offer you other than my kingdom and army.”
She laughed. “That sounds like an awful lot to me. What else is there?” At least between royalty. His shoulders rose and fell. “Kerdan, you have plenty to offer anyone. You’re kind, loyal, and an excellent fighter.”
“Yes, but you’re not anyone. You’re the princess of Emperion. You will one day be the empress of the largest kingdom on the mainland.”
“What are you saying?” she asked.
“I’m trying to say that if you want to marry me in name only, I understand.” He stood up straight, finally looking her in the eyes. “Tell me your official answer.”
“No.” She started walking away, leading her horse to where everyone else had set up camp for the night. The plan was to go to the duke’s house, about a mile away, first thing in the morning.
“No? No what? No, you won’t answer? Or no, you don’t want a marriage in name only? Or no, you don’t want a real marriage with me?” He hurried after her.
Aware that everyone was watching, she glanced over her shoulder, smiling sweetly at him. “No, as in no, I won’t tell you my official answer because you didn’t ask nicely.” She spoke softly enough so that no one could overhear.
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