by Fuyumi Ono
Seishin thought and thought, and when he'd found an opening in his time he called Ishida of the Health Department.
"....Aa, Junior Monk."
"Uhm---It's about the case before but, how is it going?"
At Seishin's question, Ishida momentarily gave a pause as if he didn't know what he meant. "...How, is it going?"
"I mean how is it progressing with the data that you are compiling. That was to be to send to Mizobe, right? Has there been any response?"
Ishida seemed panicked as he muddled his words. "Uhhm.... Yes,... No."
"There has not been word that they will investigate, or any instructions?"
"Uhm.... there hasn't."
Seishin sighed. With this many people dead, what was the administration thinking, he wondered, his mood growing dark.
"This may be too forward of me but should we not push things a little or---should we not bring the topic up to Kanemasa, would it not be better to have things moving, I wonder? At this rate, I have the feeling that waiting until the city feels like doing something will not get us anywhere."
That may be, Ishida said agreeably, sounding as if worried about something about him.
"Ah, I'm sorry. Is there somebody else present?"
"Ah, no.... That's."
"Anyhow, I think it would be best to see to it that Kanemasa at least hears of it. It would be best if the situation were explained, so that he can push the matter forward."
"Haa.... Yes, it would be."
"Do you know the name of the official responsible? At any rate first, if you could talk with them personally," Seishin started to say when Ishida interrupted.
"That's..."
"---Is there something wrong?"
"No... Well."
Seishin frowned. Ishida's responses were indeed poorly formed, and he was clearly in dismay.
"Ishida-san, what has happened?"
"Ah, no."
"The data was turned in to your superiors, wasn't it?"
"Ha... Well."
A faint premonition fluttered through his chest.
"You did not?"
Ishida didn't answer. With a groan Ishida didn't put words to, Seishin knew he had hit the mark.
Why, he started to ask when realizing there could only be one reason.
"....Was it Toshio?"
Once again Ishida groaned. That was enough tor Seishin. He knew Toshio's disposition well. He didn't know concretely what Toshio was thinking, how he explained it away to Ishida, what instructions he gave---but even without knowing that, he knew the nature of the beast behind it.
"....I understand. I am sorry for bothering you during work. I will consult with Toshio, so please do not bother yourself with it any further, Ishida-san."
At Seishin's words, Ishida offered a small-voiced "I'm sorry" as his apology.
5
When Natsuno came home from school there was a single memo waiting for him atop the dining room table. It was a note his mother had wrote.
Welcome home.
Mutou-kun's place's
Tohru-kun has died.
We have gone out to help.
When you read this, please come as well.
For a short while, Natsuno just stared fixedly at that short memo.
Mutou-kun's place's
Tohru-kun has died.
No matter how he tried, he couldn't grasp the meaning between those two specific lines. What was his mother in a fuss about, he thought. If she wrote it like that it was almost like she was saying Tohru died, wasn't it?
For a short while, Natsuno looked at the letter that at a glance looked like it was notifying him of Tohru's death, thinking what she actually intended to convey, trying to imagine what it could be. What word did she omit, what kind of grammatical error was at work here?
Ashe stood there in the dining-kitchen gazing at the memo, there was nobody calling out to him. There were no sounds of anybody within the house. Unable to hear any sounds of anybody in the workshop, it seemed both of his parents really had gone out.
We have gone out to help.
Natsuno stared fixedly at that. Next, he returned to the two lines whose meaning he just still couldn't discern.
Mutou-kun's place's
Tohru-kun has died.
While gazing for a long while at the writing, Natsuno thought. At any rate, he'd go to the Mutous. If he tried going there, someone at the Mutou house might have known who his parents actually went to help. And while he was there he could tell Tohru and the others about this. That his mom made a careless mistake and invited such misunderstanding, a black joke.
(....It can't be real.)
Tohru was different from Megumi. From Natsuno too. After all, Tohru didn't have any wish to leave the village.
Murasako Masao also heard news of his death when he came home from school. Urged by his family, he rushed off in haste to the Mutou household where the house he had become used to seeing was draped with black and white striped curtains, furnished with all the signs of mourning.
Pushing his way through the crowd of people towards the veranda he'd always sat on, people in frightfully dark crowds were pouring into the home. He could see Aoi and Tamotsu shoulder to shoulder in a corner of the living room. When he spoke to them, both lifted their faces. Masao entered into the house.
"Tamotsu---Uhm."
Staring up at Masao, seated on the floor, Tamotsu's eyes were completely red. Aoi's eyelashes glistened with tears. He had to say something to them, Masao thought. In times like these, there was something people had to say. It wouldn't come forth.
"I... I'm surprised."
Tamotsu nodded. There were no words just in nodding, so as expected Masao's next line became choked up. While he was unable to handle himself, Aoi's eyes flickered behind Masao. When he turned, Natsuno was approaching wearing the same school uniform as Masao.
Natsuno was coming up into the living room. With eyes that looked angry as he approached, he stood next to Masao. He didn't so much as glance to Masao, standing before the seated Aoi and Tamotsu.
What is this punk going to say, Masao thought. He watched him expectantly but Natsuno said nothing. He stared down at the two of them, and at last let out a voice with no intonation.
"...Tohru-chan is?"
Tamotsu pointed towards the tatami room. Natsuno nodded and leaving Masao behind where he stood as he went down the corridor.
"What's with him?" Masao said, but Tamotsu and Aoi didn't respond.
Natsuno went towards the tatami room, and seeing the coffin in place there, he confirmed for who knew how many times now that his mother's note was neither a mistake nor a joke. When walking the night road and coming to the Mutou household, when he saw the black and white curtains and the mourning lanterns, it felt like something was squeezing at his innards, and that feeling was coming back.
It was a feeling extremely close to being betrayed mercilessly by something. He was the one who had wanted the announcement of his death to be some kind of mistake, the one becoming depressed like some child confirming again that the world didn't give a damn about his expectations. No matter how many times he experienced it, he couldn't get used to it, a nauseous feeling.
While glaring at the coffin spaced out, Mutou's face turned to him, his eyes red and blinking.
"Hey...."
".....May I see his face?" Natsuno asked, and Mutou nodded. Opening the cover of the coffin, the body in the white clothing also had a white cloth over the face. Mutou handled it as if it were a delicate, fragile object as he rolled the cloth up.
Without a doubt that was Tohru. Instantly he felt sick. He knew then that even this late into things, he still hadn't thrown off the expectation somewhere inside of himself that everything was some misunderstanding.
Looking seriously into Tohru's dead face, when he looked up again, Mutou, with the white cloth in hand, was looking at Tohru's face with an expression as if seeking something.
"....Tohru-chan's empty husk." Natsuno sai
d, to which Mutou blinked, then turned back to face Natsuno with a nod. "I wonder where the fundamental Tohru-chan's gone to, now."
"Who knows..."
"It'd be nice if there were a way to look for him, but."
"You said it."
Mutou hung his head low in shame. Natsuno bowed his head to Mutou."My condolences. I don't know what cliches to say at times like these, but."
Mutou nodded.
"It is a shame, a terrible one. I'm sure for you and the family it's even more so, but."
"That's right... That's right. It's a damn shame. I'm just pathetic, mortified."
"....As am I."
Passing by Masao who was heading into the tatami room, Natsuno came out. As usual Natsuno's expression looked angry, with no particular signs of having cried. Masao was a mess. Seeing the state of things around drove the reality that Tohru was dead into his chest, and seeing Tohru in the coffin on top of that, he couldn't bear it.
He thought of him like an older brother. Tohru was nicer to him than his real older brother. None the less, Tohru was snatched away from him. Just like his mother Ryouko. Masao was left behind when they died. Looking at Tohru's face, that he was gone whether he wanted to accept it or not drove itself into him. Tohru's manner of speaking, small memories coming and going, Masao couldn't help but sob.
He was soothed by Mutou, comforted by Shizuko. He cried with the two of them. Sharing in the same sadness, he thought, his tears came on all the more. He cried until his voice cracked, and when he atlast returned to the living room, Natsuno was, as usual, seated sullenly. Looking at his composed face, Masao couldn't help but get angry.
"....You, you're not even gonna cry, huh."
When Masao said this, it was drawing into the late hours of the night. There weren't many left behind but he somehow felt reluctant, not wanting to leave the Mutou household. So with Tamotsu and the others for a total of four people, he remained sullenly quiet in the corner of the living room. Unable to bear the silence, Masao would open his mouth from time to time. What spilled out were always stories of memories with Tohru. This kind of thing happened, that time that happened, and with a small voice trailing off the tears flowed, each time crying with Tamotsu and Aoi all over again. While doing this, the condolence callers tapered out. Left in the living room were only the four of them. For his part Natsuno never showed signs of tears even once, and didn't take part in talks of memories.
"It's like you're not sad at all. Just sitting there all quiet with that sour look."
Natsuno only fleetingly glanced to Masao, remaining silent.
"You're always cold anyway. Do you even have feelings?"
"....Can you just leave it at that?"
"What the hell, what kind of response is that!"
"Don't pick a fight," Natsuno dismissed with a swatting motion. "You probably know this isn't a situation for us to be fighting in."
"When did I pick a fight! You're the one picking out faults."
Natsuno sighed as if annoyed. "If you want to fight, I'll do it with you next chance we get. Don't make Tamocchan and her mediate a fight in the living room here. You're not a kid, at least hold out while you're here."
"You... Which of us is the elder here?!"
"It's you, isn't it? In that case, you can at least refrain as much as I can."
"What the hell, talking to me like that!"
"Just stop it!"
It was Aoi who interrupted. Aoi glared at Masao.
"It's just like Natsu says! If you want to fight, do it outside!"
"What do you mean?! Aoi-chan, aren't you man? Tohru-chan died, you know? He's completely cold! Isn't he?"
"You're the one who's more cold! Don't make me referee a fight now!"
"I'm cold? That's not even funny, how am I cold! I'm totally sad that Tohru-chan's dead! Haven't I been saying that?! How much of a shock do you think it was?"
"That's even worse for us! He's our older brother, don't you get it? What is all this, acting like it's your own misfortune! Don't make a face like you're the only one who's sad! You, did you come here to comfort us? Or did you come to be comforted by us?"
Masao could feel the color drain out of him. Looking towards Tamotsu, Tamotsu's brows were furrowed looking directly before his knees at the tatami mat. At the very least, he didn't seem like he was going to come to Masao's defense.
"....I get it." Masao turned back. With audible footsteps he left the living room. He left the Mutou house behind him as if fleeing. Irritation boiled up and spiraled about in his chest. Any minute now it was like the stress was going to break out.
See if I talk to either of them again, Masao thought as he ran quietly along the night road back home.
Masao lost Tohru. Make no mistake, Tamotsu and Aoi lost Tohru too but he thought their sadness was the same. How sad someone could be over Tohru's death wasn't a matter of being family or not. It was a matter of how they felt towards Tohru in their heart. Just because they were his family it didn't give them the right to call his sadness fake, and it shouldn't give them the right to ignore Masao's feelings and spit out such cruel words towards him.
From now on, he wouldn't have anything to do with them. He didn't want to see their faces again.
Like something was clinging to his back, feeling like he was trying to run away from something his feet moved faster, a vigorous flight back to his house. Seeing his house, at last his feet stopped, breathing wildly.
(Every last one of them....)
Nobody at all understood how Masao felt. The resentment at not having his feelings cared for, at being treated unreasonably, swelled up chokingly in his chest.
"Damn it....!" He spit out, slamming his hand on the store's shutter. He was now annoyed at the fact that they knew Masao had went out and closed the shutters, too. And when he tried to pull at it, they'd locked it from the inside. Without thinking, Masao kicked the shutter and went around to the back of the house.
To get to the back of the house one had to go about a block down for all of the houses lined up in a row. Even if it was only that far, they knew Masao was out, he thought, annoyed. Someone close to him had died, he went mourning. They didn't have any intent to wait for and comfort a depressed person; the indignation burned in his chest.
Walking the night road, he turned the corner at the clothing store. At that shop a narrow dark alleyway stretched out. It was called an alleyway but there was only enough width for one way traffic, and a car would struggle to make it through. Regardless of the fact that there was a street light at the open roads, the road squeezed between sleeping houses was dark. That angered him all the more.
On either side of the road were fences or back yards, or otherwise a line of small fields. Masao walked down the barely conrete paved road. He turned one corner, and it was there that in his path Masao saw a white shadow.
Startled his feet stopped. Unconciously, he stopped his breath. Maybe that could have been because it overlapped with the image of Tohru in white clothing.
A whiteback---the back of a male figure. Seeing someone coming and going along the road was, of course, nothing unusual. The hour being what it was, it was probably somebody else going home just like Masao. That's all it is, Masao corrected himself, trying to begin walking again. And that was when he saw the figure enter into Masao's back door.
(Munetaka Nii-san?)
But he looked a little old for that. That said, he wasn't old enough to mistake for Munehide. The broadness of his back, his posture and manner, and more than anything the way he walked suggested his age.
Bit by bit Masao neared the house. Even if it was the back yard, it was a wide one at Masao's house. There was enough of a yard for Hiromi and his sister to play in, and small as it was it was also wide enough for a kitchen garden they harvested from. The figure came into the garden from the back door. Indeed that's what it looked like but looking up at the house no lights could be seen inside. One could only think they were all silently asleep.
(That's we
ird.)
Masao tilted his head. If Munetaka was going out, Chizuko would stay awake waiting for him. In the first place, he didn't think Munetaka would go out. The household had its hands full with Hiromi right now. They were even hard at work switching shifts at his bedside.