After a moment Jay shrugged. “Okay. I guess we’ll find out in time.”
***
“You seem troubled,” Nimla observed when she found me out by the Lord of the Garden after dinner. It was dark out in the yard. But strategically placed sunflowers were enscrolled to light up when the sun fell. In the oak’s branches were hundreds of fairy lights. But under the oak’s branches, it was still quite dark. I sat on a comfortable root and stared into nothing. I was lost in thought. “Kel?” Nimla tried again. I heard her voice both times, but the first time I hadn’t really cared to answer.
Ignoring her a second time would just be rude. “You could say that,” I replied softly.
“What has happened?” She asked.
I felt her presence nearby. I turned my head, not bothering to lift it from its rest on my hand. I could just barely make her out. I turned away again. “I can apparently see dead people. I have been for five years at least. And I never knew. Never connected the dots. Never thought to.”
“And this bothers you?” Nimla asked. No judgment or any real emotion in her tone. Just curiosity.
“Yes!” I whispered emphatically. I stood up and started to pace. “Why am I always the strange one? I dream of things no one should ever see, I talk to living shadows” I said gesturing in her direction, “and now I discover that I’ve been talking to ghosts! I didn’t even believe in ghosts!” I muttered in disgust.
“Disbelief in something does not mean it doesn’t exist,” Nimla replied sagely. I bit my tongue to keep from snapping at her. I paced a few times in silence. “I am sorry, Kel. I did not mean to upset you further.”
“Why is this happening to me?” I asked softly. “Why does all the strange stuff happen to me? All I ever wanted was to prove I was worthy of my gift, train as was required, and then leave. See the places I’ve read about. But I apparently can’t be normal in any way.” The last I said so softly that I’m not even sure if Nimla could hear me.
“Being different doesn’t mean you are strange. Maybe you’re gifted in a way your people are not used to. Maybe – Kel! Someone is coming.” She warned me before her presence fractured away. I turned in time to see my father step into the shadow of the great tree.
I paused my pacing, half hoping that maybe in my stillness I would become one with the night shadows. I was half tempted to dive for cover and hide in a more conventional sense… but I didn’t think I’d be lucky enough to get away with it. My father didn’t often come to the great oak. Not at this time of day. I would know since I was the one out here almost all the time after dinner. Which meant my father had a purpose. And that purpose for coming out here probably had something to do with me.
“Why are you standing in the dark, Kel?” My father asked pulling out a sunflower crystal to better see where he was walking on his way over to me.
I shrugged “It was peaceful.” I replied truthfully.
“Hmmm.” He grunted, raising a brow at me. When I didn’t say anything more, my father made his way over to where I had been sitting. He sat down and gestured for me to find a spot. “We need to have a talk, Kel.”
“We do? About what?” I asked though I dreaded the answer.
“Several things. Come sit down.” He gestured again for me to find a place to sit.
I shook my head. “I’m okay standing for a bit yet,” I replied.
My father gave me a long look, but eventually shrugged. Have it your way. That shrug said. “I am proud of you.” He said.
“What was that?” I asked feeling like I’d been punched.
My father straightened before repeating himself. “I am proud of you. You have become quite a talent with the mundane uses of herbs. You show far more promise than I have seen for a decade.”
I really wasn’t sure what to say to that. So I said nothing. In the light of his sunflower crystal I could see my father’s expression. He waited for me to say something. But when I didn’t, he looked… confused? Unsure? Nah! Not my father. He was always put together. Knew what he wanted to say. Was the calm eye in the storm. Always had been. Always will be. I was imagining things.
“I… uh… wanted to talk to you about what happened today.” He eventually said.
“About what?” I asked. I was fairly sure I could guess. But I wanted to hear him say it.
“Tell me about this Rosa you mentioned.”
I chewed my lip for a moment of thought. I’ve tried to tell him things in the past, but he had never wanted to hear. Did I try again now? He did ask. Let’s see how deep his curiosity actually runs. “She told me that she is a researcher from the King’s Academy in Eldin City. She and some companions of hers have been conducting research for the last five years for a book they aspire to write.” I replied as succinctly as I could.
“For five years you have seen these people?” he asked incredulously. “Where are they staying? How many are there? I don’t recall anyone telling me about researchers from the King’s Academy.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know where they are staying. And there are three of them. Apparently… I’m the only one who sees them. Jay and I were talking and he didn’t see any of the three even though they would talk over him or be in plain sight.” I explained.
“Are you saying that you see ghosts?” He asked, his voice stiff like the rest of him.
“No,” I said. When he just looked at me, waiting, I added: “I just said that Jay didn’t see or hear them.”
My father frowned at this. I was tempted to ask if this was a rite of passage for other plant mages coming into their power, but I had a feeling that wasn’t the case. It was how disturbed he was by my words. The disbelieving way in which he scolded Mol and the others for talking about ghosts… Either it was a well-kept secret, which I doubted, or he had never heard of it. Which meant… I’m a freak.
I waited in silence while my father mulled over what I had said. I wasn’t about to say anything more unless he asked. After a while he changed the subject slightly. “What happened last night, Kel? What had frightened you so?”
His question sent a chill racing through every vein in my body. No. I’m not reliving that. Not right now. Not when it is dark. Definitely not now. But it was obvious he expected me to answer. Maybe he really wanted to listen, but I wasn’t holding out much hope for that. But in what I feel was a gracious amount of fairness I answered with a question of my own. “I have tried to tell you before, but you never listened. Are you going to listen now?”
“I will.” He promised.
We held each other’s gaze for a long moment. Mine searching, his earnest. Eventually, I was the one to look away first. I glanced about biting my lip. I wanted to give him a chance to prove himself, but I really didn’t want to feel the terror again whenever my own personal nightmare chose to visit. More importantly, I didn’t want to call that Nightmare to me now.
My father frowned in concern. “Kel, are you alright?”
“I don’t like talking about this,” I admitted. I wanted to go somewhere with more light… but with light came people. And that’s all I needed, an audience. I got enough of an audience after each visit as it was.
“You said something last night that made me think that I have not been there for you as a good father should have been. Please, Kel, give me a second chance.”
Tears, annoyingly, itched at my eyes. They wanted to flow down my cheeks. But I didn’t want them to. How many times had I wished for this? For him to actually listen and help me? How many times had I wanted my father to not look at me as a disappointment? An embarrassment? He wanted me to give him a second chance. What alternant world had I fallen into?
“He – it – came last night.” I finally gathered the courage to say. A chill whispered over my skin. “Said I was alone. That I was weak and not worth the air I breathed…” I broke off. The mere memory of that softly malicious voice talking to me made my heart rate pick up.
“Are you depressed?” My father asked.
I shook my head rapidl
y. “No. I am hunted. Ever since I was little… haunted every step. Night or day…” Memory pulled me back to the small child I had been. I could still see the evil shadow that lurked in the corner of my room. Kept pace with me as I walked about the gardens. Waving at me from a shop window… interrupting an accidental nap as I was studying. Those black eyes always watching. Hungry and soulless….
“Kel…” the way it breathed my name, spoke my name made my blood freeze. Made me want to run and run or hide in a ball so small it could never find me.
“Kel!” My father calling my name yanked me out of the memories. I blinked at him. In the light, I must have looked as pale as a sheet. I felt faint, the blood rushing from my face for safer places within my body. I hugged myself, my hands rubbing my arms in an attempt to warm myself. My father watched me with definite concern on his face. “I think you need to talk to Shellna dae Bren. She’s an ear removed from the family gossip, and she might be able to help you.”
I stared at him aghast. He wants me to go to one of the Clan Councilors… Anger began to heat me up like nothing else could “But she has heard what the family says about me. Everyone has if they want a laugh.”
“Now Kel, you are not the laughing stock of the town. You need someone from a distance to talk to about your… experiences. She could help you. At the very least she could assure others that you are sound enough of mind to have your gift awakened. If it is questioned, as your father, I cannot answer. Whatever I said would be considered biased.”
He had a point, but I hated it. I hated all of it. “If you really think I need to talk to a counselor than I will.”
“I do believe that it would be prudent. I’ll ask her when she is open.”
“Wonderful,” I muttered before bowing slightly to him before starting to walk away.
“Where are you going Kel?” My father asked getting to his feet.
Without stopping, I replied, “To bed.”
“We were in the middle of a conversation.”
We were? I thought we were done. I didn’t say that out loud, but it was on the tip of my tongue. “I’m sorry, but I have some studying I need to do for a test tomorrow. And I’m tired. Good night.” I said before hurrying away.
Chapter 10
Fybrairy 9th, 518 AC
“You look tired, Kel Plavea.” Shellna dae Bren observed after welcoming me into her office. My father, being the High Zien of the Plavean family, had some pull. Though he claimed she had an opening the next day. I didn’t believe it for one moment. She must have rearranged her schedule for the High Zien.
I didn’t like it either. I had to tell Jay we couldn’t study today. I had to explain why too. “What? Jeeze that is the stupidest thing I’ve heard. There is nothing wrong with you. I would know.” Jay had said. His words bolstered my spirits enough that I didn’t just skip this terrible meeting and claim I hadn’t remembered, being a creature of habit. I had had the whole story worked out in my head too… all well. I’ll use it next time.
“It was a long night,” I replied.
“Oh?” She asked with an arched brow. Like many of her family, she had long flowing locks of black hair. Her eyes were a glittering blue. They caught the light like water often does. And similar to water reflecting its surroundings, I could see her eyes shift color. It was pretty … but it reminded me of. Nope. Not right now.
I shrugged. “Lots of studying,” I replied. Not entirely a lie. But not everything either, obviously.
“Ah. Let’s sit down, shall we?” She said indicating some comfortable chairs. A fountain bubbled next to them. Fish swam about in the clear basin. “Would you like something to drink?” She asked me.
“No thank you,” I replied watching the fish.
Even though I said ‘no’ she brought over a clear, decorative pitcher with a beautiful red tea within and two glasses of ice. She caught my look and shrugged. “I always feel it is rude to drink while the other person is left out to dry, even if they hadn’t wanted anything. I always bring two glasses. This way, my guest is free to change their mind at any time.”
“Wise.”
Shellna grinned as she sat back with her glass. “Tell me Kel, what has been bothering you? Your father mentioned some troubling dreams?”
My gaze dropped to the waiting glass. I was tempted to grab it so I could have something to do with my hands. Instead I shrugged. As calmly as I could, I said “Just nightmares, ma’am.”
“Just nightmares?”
“Yep. Many, but just nightmares.”
Shellna watched me for a long moment. I didn’t say anything more. Eventually, she sighed. She set her glass down on the table with a soft clink. “I cannot help you, Kel, if you do not talk to me.”
Though I was tempted to mirror her, I stayed as I was. “Ma’am, I’m sorry that my father bothered you with this,” I said with a slight gesture at the room. “And I’m thankful that you would agree to talk to me, but I’m afraid there isn’t much to tell. I’m prone to nightmares. Unfortunately, they tend to be rather bad, and I end up waking a good number of my family members. But they’ve always assured me that the terrors were nothing more than nightmares.”
Maybe I would have told her more about what was going on with me… Maybe. But talking about it with my father called him to me last night. So he had said. I had studied hard to try to ignore him, though he leaned against my closed door the entire time. I’m not sure why he eventually left, granting me a few hours of rest. I just know that when I could no longer make out the words on the page, I had started to pray.
As I had told her, it had been a long night.
Shellna picked up her glass and took a sip. “What are the nightmares about?”
“Who remembers dreams?” I asked back.
“I remember some of mine. Sadly, nightmares better than good dreams.” Shellna said.
“Must be nice to remember good dreams.”
“You really do not remember any of yours?”
I shook my head. “I can’t.” not if I want to remain sane.
Shellna looked at me considering. “’can’t’ or ‘won’t’?”
I raised an eyebrow at her. “The memory is gone in either case.”
Shellna leaned back in her chair. Her hands resting on the armrests in a way that made me think of a queen sitting upon her throne. “You do not want to talk to me, do you?”
I really wanted to be flip, but felt that would be unnecessarily rude. Instead, I settled for the simple truth. “Honestly? I really don’t. I’ve survived fifteen years. I’m sure I’ll survive another fifteen at least. I only agreed to come because my father had a good point in that it would be good to have a non-relative stating that I was of ‘sound mind’ if it was ever called into question. Do you think I’m of ‘sound mind?” I asked her.
“I think you have that rebelliousness that all young men your age have, that is for certain. I think it is funny that you think I’ll answer that question of yours when you won’t really answer any of mine. “
I snorted. “You have a strange sense of humor, if you don’t mind the honesty.”
“Don’t you ever wish you just had someone unconnected with your daily life who would just listen to you?” She asked, changing the subject slightly.
My brows rose. She had no idea… “I already do. I apologize, but I find it hard to talk to people I don’t know. And as I said, I can’t remember the dreams. Just immense fear...” A memory of the chill that always accompanied my personal nightmare settled upon my skin. I shook my head to dislodge the sensation and taking a slightly shaky breath continued, “but they are just nightmares, to vanish in the first rays of dawn.”
“Poetic. Did you just make that up?”
“No. I read it somewhere, though I may have changed it a bit.” I admitted.
Shellna sighed. “I know its hard to initially talk to someone you are not all that familiar with. However, it can become easy. That person becomes like a sounding board for you.” She paused and held my ga
ze “I want to help you, Kel.” She looked as earnest as my father had the night before.
I stood up. Her eyes widened in surprise. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you can’t keep me from having nightmares. Thank you again, but I really think I shouldn’t take up any more of your time.” I started to head for the door.
“But I could help you with what’s behind them.” She persisted.
I paused with my hand on the doorknob. I looked back over my shoulder at her. Feeling older than my fifteen years I said “Perhaps. Perhaps not. Sometimes though, it just doesn’t matter. Thank you again, have a good evening.” I said turning the knob and leaving.
“I’ll see you on the eleventh!” she called after me.
***
Shellna stared at her slightly open door. She couldn’t remember the last time a patient of hers had just left like that. Sure, some had been severely tempted to do so… but she was the most respected councilor the clan had. Time with her had often been treated like gold, to her annoyance sometimes, but she had done what she could to help her people. The same when High Zien dae Plavea had come to her for aid. His son needed someone with empathy and training to listen and do what they could to help him.
Over the years she had heard stories about the Heir of Plavea. But she hadn’t been sure how much of it was true and how much was just fiction created through gossip. But she had always been curious about Kel Plavea.
Having his father come to her earlier today had been her chance to actually talk to the youth.
He was not what she had expected.
Lore Rune (Rune Trilogy Book 1) Page 7