Journey to Honor (Knights of Honor Book 4)

by Alexa Aston

  She kicked the dirt at her feet. “So I told a few little lies about you. I didn’t think anyone would believe them, but a few of the women did—and passed them on. And then I took a hand mirror from that tyrant, Agnes, who always orders everyone about as if she were the queen and not Philippa. You know what? I enjoyed the feeling it gave me every time I pulled out that mirror and saw myself in it.”

  “But you took more than a simple mirror,” Avelyn accused. “And you blamed me for it.”

  Sela’s eyes blazed in anger. “So what if I did? Each time I felt powerful when I did so. I took a prayer book. A pair of stockings. A few ribbons. Then some letters. When I slipped something into my pockets and no one discovered it, it was exhilarating. Then I saw an opportunity and seized a comb of the queen’s.”

  “And her silk handkerchief,” Avelyn said. “The one I found in your trunk not long ago. The one you told me your father gave to you.”

  Sela laughed. “You mean the one I blamed you for taking?” Then tears welled in her eyes. She shuddered and crossed her arms protectively in front of her. “But . . . I went too far. I . . . I stole a necklace from the queen. The very day you were leaving for Sandbourne. I was so afraid someone would find it in my trunk. So I hurried to your chamber and begged to go to Sandbourne with you.”

  “Where is the queen’s necklace now?” Avelyn demanded.

  Sela smirked. “I left it in your room. While you and Alys hurried after the page that was leading you to your escort party in the courtyard, I slipped it inside your mattress. I couldn’t dare be caught with it.”

  “So if someone finds it, I will be blamed?”

  “Aye!” Sela hissed. “You came to court with nothing, but you have everything. I hated you for it.” She paused. “I still hate you.”

  A calm descended upon Avelyn. “I pity you, Sela. You’ve been given every opportunity and have squandered it. I gave you my friendship freely and loved you as a sister, but you’ve betrayed me in the worst way.”

  Avelyn turned to Michael. His face grim, he nodded. Michael glared at Sela and said, “Return to your chamber in the keep, my lady, and remain inside it. A guard will be posted at your door until you leave Sandbourne tomorrow, never to return.”

  Lord Sewell spoke up. “If it pleases you, Lady Avelyn, I can see this woman to where the royal court now resides and place her into her father’s hands, apprising him of the situation. Lord Runford is an ambitious yet decent man. He will see that the queen’s necklace is returned and no blame placed upon your shoulders.”

  The nobleman looked at Sela with a withering glance. She cringed, dropping her head in shame.

  “Knowing her father as I do,” Sewell continued, “his punishment will be to banish her to his country estate far in the north. Or, mayhap, marry her to a man old enough to be her grandfather since it’s obvious she requires a strong hand and constant supervision. Lady Sela will no longer grace the court with her presence. You will never have to see her there again.”

  “Thank you, my lord.” Avelyn trembled, the anger having rushed from her in a swoop, leaving her physically weak.

  Lord Sewell said, “I would only ask that I first conduct my business with Lord Michael, which may take a day or two. But I’m sure Lady Sela can remain out of sight until I prepare to leave with my men.”

  “We would be most grateful to you for your help in this atrocious matter, Lord Sewell,” Michael interjected. He motioned to the two knights nearest Sela. “Take this woman back to the keep. Remain at her chamber door until I send men to relieve you.”

  “Yes, my lord,” Ralf said. He reached for Sela, but she glared at him. Without a backward glance, she marched from the stable, Ralf and Martin on her heels.

  Elysande and Merryn rushed to comfort Avelyn. Each hugged her tightly, asking if she was all right. She assured them that she was.

  Her eyes met her uncle’s as he came to stand next to her. Geoffrey said, “You may not have ridden into battle with your enemy carrying a sword in hand, but you bested that enemy all the same, with courage and dignity. I’m so very proud of you, Avelyn.”

  She went into Geoffrey’s arms. He locked her in a powerful hug, bringing her comfort.

  Avelyn looked out at those gathered around, seeing their concern for her. Only Kenric Fairfax stood apart, a grim look upon his face.

  He looked as if he could kill at that moment.

  Chapter 23

  Kenric stood guard in front of Lady Sela Runford’s bedchamber, anger still boiling within him at what he’d learned yesterday. The noblewoman was pure evil, worse than any enemy met in battle. She’d befriended an inexperienced Avelyn Le Cler and betrayed her by weaving vicious lies about her. He wished he could mete out the justice due and strangle the Runford girl with his bare hands—and no one would ever find the body.

  He shook off the violent thought. It was unlike him to become emotional. Among the men he knew, he remained cool and rational at all times. But everything about Avelyn stirred his blood. He hurt—because she did.

  He wondered what her return to court at summer’s end would be like. Whether true or not, Kenric knew Sela’s rumors would follow Avelyn. Not all would believe them, considering the source, but enough might to make her a lonely outcast. More than anything, he wished she wouldn’t go back to London.

  Then he asked himself where she could go. Her mother’s marriage today would have Lady Mary and Sir Charles making their home at the manor house on Sandbourne land. Her only sister resided on the estate, as well. If not in London, Avelyn would be here—where he couldn’t speak to her because she wished it so.

  Kenric realized he had wounded her as much as Sela had—if not more. Mayhap, his penance would be to see her on a daily basis, so close, yet a woman he could never have.

  It would be best for her if her family married her off quickly before the untrue rumors spread. With Geoffrey de Montfort’s connections, not to mention Avelyn’s angelic beauty, it wouldn’t be difficult to find a suitor. Yet the thought of another man touching Avelyn’s satiny smooth skin, his hand on her bare breast, thrusting his manhood inside her, pleasuring her until she cried out—those thoughts would drive Kenric into madness.

  What did he have to look forward to? A miserable existence while the woman he loved married another. He could picture her future visits to Sandbourne, where she would proudly show off her children to her sister and mother. Kenric would see the happiness written across her face.

  And it would destroy him.

  His gut told him he should go elsewhere, move on and find a new liege lord to serve. If he left this area behind and headed far north, Avelyn Le Cler—and even his remaining family at Shadowfaire—would be buried as the past.

  Kenric decided to ask Lord Michael’s permission to accompany Lord Sewell and his men when they took Lady Sela to her father. Once the woman had been handed to her father and no longer posed a danger to his beloved, he’d return to Sandbourne and give his notice to Lord Michael. He could start over in a new life. It would be empty of love, but he couldn’t stay here and punish himself over and over by seeing Avelyn now or in the future.

  A servant arrived with a tray. Kenric unlocked the door and allowed her into the bedchamber, where he saw Lady Sela pacing as a caged animal. She stopped long enough to give him an unpleasant smile. It infuriated him that this woman had used him, kissing him to make Avelyn suffer.

  In that moment, an overwhelming urge to protect Avelyn swept over him. Kenric believed that he could protect her like no other—especially from the likes of vipers such as Lady Sela Runford. The strong feeling made him want to throw caution to the wind and do whatever it took to always watch out for Avelyn. But would he ever have a chance to do so? Not if he left Sandbourne behind. He found himself torn as never before, unsure where his future lay, much less with whom.

  The servant set the tray down and scurried out. Kenric locked the door again and placed the key in his pocket. His arms returned to his side as he pushed aside all th
oughts and left his mind a void.

  Eventually, music drifted up the stairs, accompanied by the smell of food that made his mouth water. He supposed, by now, the wedding between Lady Mary and Sir Charles must be over and all gathered in the great hall for the celebration. Kenric was glad he’d offered to stand guard duty today instead of attending the nuptial mass. He didn’t want to hear words of love and promises the older couple would make to one another with Avelyn in the same place.

  He noticed Martin coming down the corridor and assumed the soldier came to relieve him.

  “You’ve been on your feet for hours,” his brother knight said. “Come, go join the celebration.”

  “I’d just as soon stay here. I’m in no mood for—”

  “Go.” Martin placed a hand on Kenric’s shoulder. “It’s obvious you have feelings for the lady and she could certainly use some comfort after yesterday’s events.”

  Kenric frowned. “If you think—”

  Martin squeezed his shoulder hard. “It’s not what I think. It’s important what you think. What you know.” The knight gave him an encouraging look. “Look inside your heart, Kenric Fairfax.” Martin dropped his hand.

  Wordlessly, he handed over the key to Lady Sela’s chamber and started down the hall, Martin’s words ringing in his ears.

  Could he truly have a future with this woman?

  It was time to find out.

  Kenric went to the great hall. Trestle tables laden with every imaginable food provided a feast for his eyes. His belly growled at the sight. He hadn’t eaten all day and decided he should before seeking Avelyn out. It wouldn’t do to try and romance the beauty only to be interrupted by a gurgling stomach. Joining a table of fellow knights, he ate only enough to satisfy him. His eyes searched the great hall as he chewed, but he didn’t spy her anywhere.

  Excusing himself, he wandered aimlessly and then followed the sound of the music. The nuptial celebration had spilled outside into the cool, early July night, with dozens dancing in the moonlight. Kenric saw Lord Geoffrey and Lady Merryn with their two youngest and Lady Elysande and Lord Michael with their infant son. Both couples radiated happiness.

  He wanted that for himself and Avelyn.

  Like a lightning bolt that struck him from the blue, it came to him that love was what mattered. He might not be able to provide a wealth of material goods for Avelyn Le Cler, but she had told him she loved him. In his heart, he knew she wasn’t a woman impressed by money or power. She had bared her deepest feelings to him and he had callously turned her away.

  Kenric hoped it wasn’t too late for them.

  He passed young Alys de Montfort dancing with a fleet-footed Lord Sewell, while Ancel de Montfort partnered a laughing Lady Orella. Sir Charles twirled his new wife about. Even in the older knight’s eyes, Kenric saw the love the man showered upon Lady Mary.

  But where was Avelyn? His curiosity turned to concern as he actively searched for her. He wondered if she could have returned to her bedchamber since he couldn’t locate her.

  In a flash, he realized where she would be.

  Kenric made his way to the Sandbourne stables, remembering her comment about the faithfulness and affection of dogs and horses. Something told him Avelyn would be with Starlight tonight, seeking comfort in the midst of the happy occasion.

  The bright moon made it easy for him to make his way to the stables. He opened the door and glimpsed inside. As he expected, he saw a faint light about halfway down the long row of stalls. As he drew closer, he heard her humming before he reached Starlight’s stall. Kenric paused and listened to it, and the melancholy in the tune tugged at his heart.

  No longer hesitating, he strode to the stall and looked inside.

  Avelyn had her back to him, a brush in her hand as she curried Starlight’s side. She hummed softly as she stroked the horse. Desire flooded Kenric at the sight of her. He stepped into the stall and slipped his arms around her waist.

  “Oh!” She dropped the brush she held and whipped her head around. Her lips parted as if she wished to speak, but no words came forth.

  He yanked her to him, wanting the feel of her body against his. His lips found her throat and nibbled on it. A contented sigh escaped from her and she reached a hand up to stroke his face. He reveled in the touch of her fingers.

  Kenric spun her around and caught her waist, spanning it with his hands. Her sky blue eyes went wide as she licked her lips nervously. He needed to taste her, now and always. He crushed her to him as his mouth came down on hers. Plundering, demanding, wanting everything she had to give. Her hands plunged into his hair, kneading his scalp, pulling him nearer as her tongue mated with his.

  His hands rode up her ribcage and came to rest just under her full breasts. His thumbs reached out, brushing across her nipples, teasing them through her layers of clothing. She began to moan, her fingers bunching his gypon tightly. He allowed his hands to encircle her breasts and then squeezed them lightly. The perfect globes were meant to fit in them. His mouth touched the top of one breast and he lightly ran his tongue along it as his hand slipped under her skirts.

  His fingers found her core dripping, ready for him. Slipping two fingers inside, he stroked her as his other hand pulled away her cotehardie. He pushed down her kirtle and chemise until he had freed her breast. His mouth closed on it and suckled her as his fingers moved in and out. Avelyn writhed against him, her breathing fast and shallow. Her head fell back as he increased the speed of his fingers. He sensed the coiled tension building within her.

  Suddenly, her body trembled. She gasped, then whimpered, small cries of sweet pleasure sounding as she clutched his gypon, pulling and pushing on it repeatedly as she rode the wave of ecstasy. He grazed his teeth against her erect nipple, causing more shudders. She held on to him as her body began to still.

  Then she wept, her breath coming in hitches. Kenric brought his mouth to her cheeks and kissed at the tears.

  “Did I hurt you, my love?” he asked, afraid to hear her answer.

  “Nay,” she whispered. She bit her lip as her eyes searched his. Finally, she said, “that was . . . so beautiful. As if two halves of a whole had been united after many years apart.”

  Kenric smiled at her words, brushing away more tears with his callused thumbs. “If you think this was meant to be, wait till we join our bodies together, Avelyn, when God Almighty has blessed our union. When we will lie naked, our limbs entwined, and two truly do become one.”

  “But I thought—”

  He placed a finger against her lips. “You always knew. You always believed in the two of us together. I was the fool that thought you needed another man.” He kissed her forehead. “I realized that the love between us is rare and that I shouldn’t cast it aside.”

  Sweeping her up into his arms, he told her, “I may not have riches on this earth, but everything I have is yours.”

  Avelyn rewarded him with a slow smile. “So, you’re not merely wedded to being a knight? If I understand your words, you wish us to marry?”

  “Aye.” He gave her a lingering kiss so that she wouldn’t doubt him.

  “I do want to marry you, my love. I want you to bear our sons and daughters. I wish to partake in the joy that I see when I look at your sister and Lord Michael together. I want the same happiness that is obvious when your uncle and his wife exchange a tender look. And I would grow old and gray with you. Many years from now, we’ll look back on when we were young and our love was new and fragile. We’ll laugh, knowing we’ve weathered many storms in our years together and be fulfilled in a love that has grown stronger over our lifetime.”

  She cupped his face and gave him a slow, sweet kiss, one full of hope and promise.

  Then she drew back, a mischievous grin on her face. “And I’ll remind you of how stubborn you once were, pushing aside the love of your life out of pride or whatever manly reason you thought must keep us apart. Not often, mind you, but I’ll bring it up just enough to keep you in line.”

  Kenri
c laughed. “I will let you—only because I do love you so. It will make our children groan and run and hide when they see their parents turn affectionate with one another.”

  “We’ll laugh when they do so. And we’ll hope they’ll find the same lasting love for themselves one day.”

  “I love you, Avelyn Le Cler. I eagerly will do your bidding, now and forever.”

  He kissed her again, knowing he’d made the right decision by letting his guard down as pride and arrogance flew out the window. They would start afresh this night and love long and strong forevermore.

  “Oh!” Avelyn exclaimed.

  Kenric looked up to see Starlight butting her head against Avelyn. He put her back on the ground and gave the horse an affectionate pat.

  “You need to behave,” he chided the horse. “If you do, your mistress and I will brush you till your coat gleams.”

  He picked up a brush to lavish attention upon the horse and Avelyn did the same. True to his word, when they had finished, Starlight gleamed just as tonight’s moon. Kenric replaced the brushes and they left the stall. He wrapped his arms around the woman he loved, resting his chin against the top of her head. They stood that way in contentment for a long time.

  Finally, she asked, “So when will you ask Uncle Geoffrey for my hand?”

  He gazed down at her, seeing the glow of happiness on her face. “Tonight.”

  “I love you, Kenric Fairfax.”

  “I love you more, Avelyn Le Cler.” He paused. “But I must share something with you. If you change your mind regarding our plans, I’ll understand.”

  “What could possibly change my mind? I love you, Kenric, with all my heart.”

  “Have you ever wondered why I don’t wear my spurs?”

  She nodded. “I noticed. But I would never ask.”