Your secret language is actually a common language shared between you and your ideal client. Over time the medium may have changed but the message remains the same. Jeffrey Shaw says the best way to find this common language you share is by asking self-identifying questions. “Finish the question in your client’s head.”
My years as an executive assistant prepared me for this. I worked in education for a long time and was a member of hiring boards. Every time I began a new position, I first had to assess the situation because it was usually at crunch time—no time to ease into my new role. After that, I found where to assist others in making the greatest impact. I couldn’t do everything. I found out how to do what mattered and enlist the help of the others for the rest. I’ll share a secret with you—I’m super low-tech. With no interest in becoming tech savvy, I found the person who enjoyed tech and swapped tasks. The reason I was on the hiring boards is because I had the knack for knowing when someone was a good fit and when I didn’t think they would last the year.
When I finally discovered this, suddenly I realized my potential clients were everywhere. A light bulb went off in my head, and I thought, “Would someone pay me to match them with the right virtual assistant?” I had been matching people for more than a year, and it never occurred to me that someone would pay me for this service!
If you find this is happening to you, it’s a sign and you should take notes:
Who are you attracting? Write down the fields of those whom you “just happen” to keep running into.
What work are you continuously turning down because you don’t have the skill set? You might not have it now, but you could easily learn it. Or like me, you might not have the skills, but you can incorporate one of your current services and now get paid for it.
What are you providing that is drawing people to you? There is a reason. While you are simply being you, it’s exactly the quality that in fact sets you apart from your competitors. You can monetize the quality if you know what it is.
Taking all of these things into consideration, begin looking for the connections—the unasked question and the already presumed answer. What is the quality the world sees in you that you have taken for granted? Look for themes.
This is the part of working with clients that is not linear. Like a scientist conducting experiments, sometimes it’s the “accident” that finds the cure. You have to start with the foundation, the problem to solve, and the preliminary actions steps. But after that, be open to experimenting.
In some cases, you might want to consider an internship. Internships are a great way to begin working with clients, especially if your ideal client is in a field that’s foreign to your own experiences. Internships present amazing learning opportunities if done right.
I’m very particular about the type of internships I endorse. In fact, I have VAs contact me on a regular basis to be my intern. I have yet to have an intern because I believe in getting paid, and I believe in paying people. No one has asked to learn from me. They offered services—services I could not mentor them on. That would not have been the right type of internship, and I declined. I’ll share with you how to do an internship properly in the bonus chapter.
Summary
Now you know about the importance of networking and the different types of networking available to you. Most importantly, networking is only effective when it’s done at the right places and with a specific plan. Don’t forget to take networking offline whenever possible. Look for a networking partner and create a game plan.
Carefully determine which groups—both online and in person—you are going to invest your time and money networking in. Knowing the purpose for the group you’re joining is essential to get the most out of it.
You know how to create an elevator pitch that is concise and repeatable. Practice it often to refine it and get feedback from your ideal clients.
We’ve discussed how to follow up after networking and how to ask for referrals the right way.
You know how to get people excited to be your ideal client and how to use empathy when speaking your client’s secret language. You also know how to get on the radar of your clients and support them before they become your clients. Plus, you know what not to do.
I’ve shared what it looks like when your ideal client finds you first and how this is a great business opportunity.
We’ve covered a lot in this chapter because it all goes hand in hand. You shouldn’t be networking without knowing who you are networking with and why. Additionally, your words should always speak to your ideal client. Ideally, you are always in the right place, whether you’re networking for support or to gain clients.
In the next chapter, we’ll discuss one of the most sensitive topics, managing yourself and the client relationship. Without knowing how to successfully navigate this process, you cannot grow or sustain your business. It’s also how you avoid burnout.
CHAPTER 6
Step 6: Managing Yourself and the Client Relationship
This is one of the most important chapters in the book. This is where elite VAs separate themselves from the rest. I’m going to be giving you a lot of straight talk information here. It won’t be easy to do it, but the payoff will be worth it.
This is the point in many VA businesses where VAs didn’t plan for success, growth, and having difficult conversations. They never learn how to get to the other side and subsequently decide it’s too difficult, leaving them short of accomplishing their goals and dreams. Worse, some quit after working so hard in the beginning. Burnout, frustration, and being shackled to the business in the worst way possible, they believe it would be better to become an employee again.
Managing your business is different than managing your workload. Working for yourself comes with having to set entirely new boundaries. Boundaries that couldn’t have been legally crossed when you were an employee. One of the most common reasons I see virtual assistants burn themselves out is because no boundaries were set from the beginning, and suddenly their work and personal lives become so chaotic they have to shut down business to save their personal lives.
I don’t believe in the term “work-life balance.” Balancing gives equal attention to different things in your life. Not everything in your life requires the same amount of attention at exactly the same time. When something unexpected occurs—and it will—your balance is thrown off. I do believe in “work-life integration.” Folding all the areas of your life into everyday life and providing attention to the things and people who need and deserve it at the right time will keep you sane. You’ll know that whatever you’re giving your attention to is the right thing.
Set Boundaries
Boundaries. Boundaries. Boundaries.
If the three most important things in real estate are location, location, and location, then the three most important things in your business are boundaries, boundaries, and boundaries. Both in life and in business, people will only treat you the way you allow them to. How long does it take for a client to cross a boundary? It can happen almost immediately. The problem comes when you don’t let them know they’ve crossed a boundary. From then on, things will never be the same.
So often we think when a client wants to cross our boundaries, it is cause for conflict, confrontation, or concern. It is none of those things. If someone is crossing a boundary, it’s because they don’t know it’s there. We all do it. It’s our natural tendency to want and ask for more. If someone takes more and then gets it, they’ll keep going back until they’re told not to. If a client asks for more and you give it, the client will keep expecting it. They didn’t cross a boundary since they asked. You didn’t have a boundary to begin with, and now changing things will be extremely difficult.
Nothing is better than taking care of the situation the first time it occurs. You’ll never get this opportunity back. Here’s how a typical scenario goes:
The client asks you to do something you don’t normally do. Out of the kindness of
your heart, you agree to complete the task. The client continues to ask you for this work, and you continue to do it. A few weeks or months down the road, you go to the client and make your case. You either let them know you can’t do this task anymore because it wasn’t what you originally agreed upon, or you offer to continue doing the task but you’ll have to charge XYZ. Either way, the client is not happy and you are ultimately at fault.
Another common scenario is the client keeps adding to your workload, giving you last-minute projects with quick deadlines, including emails and text messages at all hours of the day and night. You don’t schedule a meeting to discuss setting priorities and instead try to juggle all of the projects. You work to complete the last-minute tasks, but inevitably you make errors because that’s what happens when things are done in a rush. You answer every email and text the moment it comes in. Then one day, you realize how miserable you are. And because you don’t like confrontation, you decide it’s easier to quit. You’ve just created a non-believer in the world of VAs. You have nothing to show for your time in the form of a referral, and you might even be a little bitter. This is when the client “cleansing” starts to happen.
Both of these scenarios play out daily for VAs around the world. And these situations are the most common amongst new VAs. You are so used to having to do everything for your employer that you forget you no longer have one. You don’t get to go home from the office anymore to escape—you’re already home.
In both of these scenarios, being the owner of your business, you could have redirected these conversations using your boundaries. Boundaries with your clients aren’t meant to be a fortress to keep them out. These are not castle walls with a moat and alligators. When you think of your boundaries, think of how they might be viewed to your clients—a white picket fence, a front door that’s never locked, a gate with a special code. How does your client get to you?
When you think of it like this, your perspective will change. I have an open door policy. My clients don’t keep regular business hours, nor do I. Their clients pay them a premium price, and my clients pay me a premium price. We also respect one another. When they contact me at odd times, I know it’s urgent. We’re both too busy to waste anyone’s time.
When you’re tasked with something you don’t do or didn’t include in your original contract, it’s as easy as telling the client. Ask the client if he or she would like a proposal that outlines the cost to add the task to your current agreement. Or offer to find a VA who does perform this service.
So many VAs say nothing in this scenario because they are afraid of saying no. So don’t say no. Instead, offer other options. Don’t tell clients what they can’t have; give options so they can decide what is right for them.
Imagine you’re at a restaurant. The server seems nice and pleasant. As she takes your order, you ask to make a substitution. Her response is “No.” Then she walks away. This would not go over well. What normally happens is what plays out in business too. She tells you, “Sure, but it will cost extra.” And she tells you exactly how much. Either you happily agree, change your order, or decline the substitution. If she’s a good server, she’ll help you get to your decision faster by finding a way to get you what you want, even if it’s done creatively. If one of your dining companions doesn’t want the salad that comes with the meal, the server offers it to you, and it won’t cost you a dime.
In the second scenario, you are the person who is feeding the squirrels and then wondering how to get rid of them. In the beginning, the workload is likely to increase before it gets to a maintenance level. Last minute tasks will frequently come up because the client will continuously think of new things to give you. They’re excited! What they need from you is help managing it all. Where VAs go wrong is trying to do it all. It can’t be done without a plan. You can manage a plan. You can’t manage a task, only perform it.
Your client doesn’t have to be a part of your management system. They do need to be a part of your thought process. First things first, when you get the communication coming in (we’ve already established this is the preferred method for both of you), they should know what you’re doing with it. Do you check emails once a day or at certain times during the day, or do you promise to respond within 24 hours? Personally, I find it easiest to read and respond to emails while the client is online. Otherwise, I respond with “Received.” This lets the client know that I got the message, and it puts the client at ease. They don’t have to wonder if the message got lost in cyberspace or if it went to your spam folder.
The second part of the conversation is to let the client know your workflow. Does one thing play off the other? Is what they sent you time sensitive? Are the projects conflicting? Don’t ever assume and don’t ever make the decision for them. Recap a previous conversation about workflow, explain in detail what the new workflow and timeline will look like, and ask if they are in agreement. If not, call the client. Don’t go back and forth over email. A two-minute phone call will end in smiles. Six back and forth e-mails will leave them wondering why they hired you when they could’ve done the work already.
Pick your battles and always do the right thing. Don’t argue and don’t make the point of being right. Be the friendly voice and the friendly email on the other side. You know—the person you were during the consultation.
Clients aren’t the only offenders of boundaries. You will likely break your own rules. They don’t seem as hard on you, but you will still take them out on your client if you’re not careful. Your business or projects can’t tell you when you’ve crossed your own boundaries. Just stay aware.
Here are several ways to set boundaries for yourself that are easy to keep:
Create natural breaks. Take a break for meals—real meals that you eat off plates at a table, not eating a quick bite at your computer. Step away from your desk or workspace. Even better, share a meal with someone.
Have a dedicated time to start and stop your day. Don’t work just because you can. Additionally, if you know that you have to stop at a certain time, you will finish what you need to accomplish faster. It’s Parkinson’s law: “Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.”
Schedule events to look forward to. When you look forward to a specific event, it will excite you throughout the week. You can work off of that great energy, and it helps you stick to your stop times. (Another reason I plan so many days off!)
Pick two days of the week that you don’t work. It doesn’t have to be a traditional weekend schedule, but choose two days that fit your schedule best. If you don’t do this now, when your business explodes you won’t know how to take time off to enjoy your own success. Family and friend commitments will soon become obsolete because you’ll always be too busy. If you want to take a vacation or a long weekend, you won’t know how. If you lose a day or two to being sick, you’ll be completely behind.
Get help before you need it. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, right? Having an urgent need can confuse your judgment or cause you to act fast without weighing all the options. Having the help you need before you need it is priceless.
Many virtual assistants know how to get others organized yet allow our own businesses to become disorganized. We’re like the cobbler’s kids who have no shoes. It’s not our clients’ job to be productive. It’s ours. So are you? What does your inbox look like? Who is waiting on you? Which projects need your attention?
I’ve found the very thing you assist clients with is also the task that holds you back. My clients struggle with working all the time. I struggle with working all the time too. Remember when I said our avatars mirror ourselves? It’s true in the not so good habits as well. While it’s great to be able to understand our clients and their needs, it’s also something you should be looking out for.
One of the most common reasons we don’t realize it’s happening is because it means business is booming. Our efforts are paying off, and we’re more than willing to work
longer hours, including nights and weekends. The adrenaline has kicked in, and we want to capitalize on everything coming our way to keep the momentum going. The problem is we don’t work in a bubble with no outside commitments. We have lives outside of work too.
Whatever type of VA you are, you must have a system for working with your clients. You might even set up systems for their work, but never overlook setting up systems for your own business—a system that runs efficiently and ensures nothing falls through the cracks in the process. As a virtual assistant I know you know this. Yet, when your business grows, your systems don’t seem to grow fast enough. You won’t learn about the cracks until it’s too late.
There are some instances where a crack in the system is an opportunity for you to rethink your business. If one client keeps you up at night versus the others whom you work with seamlessly, is this client your ideal? What type of services are you offering to this client that you aren’t offering the others? Do you need to rethink your clients, your prices, or your processes?
Is Doing What You Love Killing You?
I’m almost an adrenaline junkie. I don’t get my adrenaline high by jumping out of airplanes or off cliffs. The closest I came was jumping on the back of a scooter with a complete stranger in Hanoi after randomly yelling out, “Motorbike!” I was rewarded with a tour around the city. Riding a scooter, even as a passenger, in Hanoi is quite an experience. Oncoming traffic, more traffic than you’ve ever seen in your life, driving so close to everyone that you’re swapping skin and paint, no rules, and add in the fact that I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing. It all made for quite an adrenaline rush.
Become A Successful Virtual Assistant Page 11