I turned and walked straight out. I heard my ex coworkers talking about me. Some of them gasped in outrage, some of them outright laughed. I don't think one of them stood on my side. Sometimes, that's what doing the right thing for yourself is. Sometimes you won't have a single person on your side. As I walked down the hall of the office complex someone followed me. The office administrator stood behind me. "You know you're fired right?"
"Yeah" I laughed a little bit. "I got that before I said a word. He's going to get you sued one of these days." Her face dropped. She probably hoped I wouldn't be that one. I turned and walked away. I had no idea what I would do, but I didn't think this was a mistake yet.
7
I sat at my computer typing a message to him. I couldn't quite get the words right. I understood if he was angry with me and I couldn't blame him for that. Several weeks and quite a few emails had gone since I spoke to him.
He stopped emailing me a while ago. I hoped he was just angry with me. It would be much worse if he moved on. Even if he did, I couldn't blame him for that. He deserved better than how I treated him. I decided the truth was the only shot at getting his attention back.
Hey Stranger,
I'm sorry about being a ghost. I would have started off with a picture of my titties to soften you up, but I worried you might find it patronizing. In all seriousness, things have not been easy for me. I lost my job through some elaborate ridiculousness. I'm unemployed, and too pitiful for you to further deject.
-Very sorry
He didn't answer me at all that first day. Part of me feared he never would. Another part sensed that he couldn't stay far away. Even in the weeks I didn't speak to him I was still attuned to him. It might have been the fact that he wrote me emails, but that wasn't enough to explain it. When I drifted to sleep that night, my mind entered a freer state. Somewhere between awake and a dream I realized how attached I was to the idea of him. I couldn't to let this go.
The following day I didn't do anything but wait for him to respond and eat. I wallowed in my incompetence. I should be looking for a job. If only looking for a job were a job. I would be excellent at that. He didn't email me back. I kept moving around my apartment in dejected uselessness. The day passed with nothing to show for it.
That night I laid in my bed. I couldn't fall into a satisfying sleep. I kept getting almost there, not quite able to seal the deal. I existed halfway between awake and dreaming. My mind constructed nonsensical things that I forgot as soon as they passed. I heard my email ping. I got rather tired of having nervous reactions every time they went off. This one had my heart in my throat before I even opened it.
My eyes were half open. I slept deeper than I realized. My fingers didn't work right. I kept tapping at my phone wondering why it didn't respond. I reached my email after about a year of effort. The subject line read "I thought about it". My heart dropped out of my throat and through my body. I paused a moment before opening it. I was certain it contained a rejection. Devastation threatened to crush me. Could I bear it?
Titties aren't patronizing.
I laughed out loud, the relief of it making me jubilant. I hopped off the couch to oblige him. I felt so bad about myself the idea of someone wanting me thrilled me. I liked the idea of doing something bad. I took off my shirt and looked at myself in my bathroom mirror. I was kind of dirty. That didn't surprise me. I didn't tend to clean much when I got in a "mood" as my mom used to call it.
I wore a crappy old bra I never wanted him to see. I dropped it to the floor. I didn't need the coverage. My nipples were hard from the excitement. I touched them a little covering my tan skin in goosebumps. They were a soft pinkish brown, small, and perfectly shaped. I turned my phone on selfie mode and started snapping pictures.
They included just my mouth and breasts. I tried to make my expression soft, pouty, inviting. I got a few good ones. I sent him the one I considered the nicest, quite pleased with my work. I put my shirt back on but left the bra where it hung. I didn't need it.
I laid back on the couch, open and rebellious. I touched my nipples for the tingling of it. For the moment, I didn't worry about anything but what he thought of me. All I cared about was if he liked them or not. It took about ten minutes for his response.
Before I become too enthralled by the most perfect boobs I've ever seen I need some answers. First, why were you fired. I'm sorry that happened. Unless, you burned the place down or something in which case you deserved it. Second, what does being fired have to do with the last near month? Third, you are too tempting, and I have forgotten my last point.
I experienced so many emotions at once it was hard to process. I was beyond thrilled that he loved my tits. I also couldn't help being angry that he would insinuate getting fired was my fault. I mean a lot of the time people are fired it is their fault. Still, this stranger should understand me better than that.
My nerves were wracked at the thought of answering his last question. That was the hardest of all. Even if I had a good reason it wouldn't be easy to explain why I ignored him for a month.
Okay, I went on a date with a guy at work. I didn't even like him a little. I faked being sick to get him to take me home without trying to sleep with me. That's how little I liked him. The gentleman that he is, he lied and told everyone I slept with him. All the women at work were being nasty to me and ostracizing me. It was an unpleasant working environment to say the least. I quit today. I flipped out, yelled at everyone and walked out. I miss you, and I'm sorry for not answering you.
I sent it, a little rueful. Why did he choose now to answer me when I had been waiting for him all day? It kept with what I knew of him to disturb my patterns and cost me sleep. He didn't keep me waiting long this time. The alert went off and I opened it in under a second.
That is, terrible, to say the least. I am sorry that happened to you. As for not answering me, forget about it. I have. I have missed you to. You haven't been boring a single moment since I met you. The scene you described seems true to form. I would have paid good money to see you flip out and yell at everyone for treating you poorly. You really are something different, aren't you?
I'm half ready to demand we end this now. I could do things to you that would drive you crazy. Part of me wants to be satisfied. The other part craves the mystery of it all. Thinking of your face and body is a constant tease and I don't want it to end yet. You tell me.
The thought of that gorgeous cock hard for me made my insides clench. My blood warmed, turned on in an instant. That was usual. I liked it all the time, and I got it never. I rolled over and checked out my ass. It looked cute and round in light blue cheekies. I smacked it a little bit appreciating the jiggle. I draped my white duvet over my legs making my ass look newly uncovered. I took a picture and sent it to him with a message attached.
I'm not sure I'm ready to end this myself. I'm feeling incredible because of all this mutual desire. There is another problem though. If I did want to meet soon, it wouldn't be for what I originally asked for. I would like to date you. I hope you understand your wit and other appendages have won me over and left me in knots. Tell me now if that doesn't work for you and I'll understand.
I hoped he wouldn't mind, maybe he even liked me too. I didn't want casual sex with a stranger. I thought I did, but the experience with Tyler taught me one thing. It mattered who I let close to me. Only certain people deserve your unguarded self.
I didn't need commitment or anything like that. I needed to trust the person I screwed to a certain extent. I let the intrigue get to my head. I was too horny to be making any good life choices, but something deep inside me said that this could be right. It took too long for him to respond. I worried he was writing a clever let down that wouldn't hurt my feelings too much. I slammed my cards on the table ready to do whatever I needed to.
By the way, my name is Claire.
A moment later I heard the notification.
Claire,
The thought of you in knots is beyond sexy. I
would be happy to tie you in some or bend you in them whichever you prefer. As for not wanting casual sex anymore, I'm not sure what to say. I don't know what I want. I don't know you enough to say. From your emails and what I have seen in person I would give a date a shot.
It's always your choice if you want to sleep with someone or not. I would never force you, but I would love to force you to behave while I fucked you. Give me a chance and I'll prove it. Let me take you out. I'm not ruling anything out and neither should you.
-Mason
My body responded to his words against my will. My toes clenched with the tightening in my stomach. I didn't have that much to do this week, only find a job and figure out my life's purpose. Maybe I could borrow some cash from my mom. That is if she wanted to take my calls this week.
I'm free tomorrow, meet me for dinner at 7?
-Claire (555-964-8989)
I got a text a few minutes later.
7 pm at Alessandro's on 3rd, I can't wait.
It didn't make much sense how went from holding off on meeting to making dinner plans. He probably would have rejected me as I feared. He didn't expect me to confess my name. It bought me more of his time. I read his words over and over.
I found it equal parts arousing and infuriating when he got bossy with me. I soared at the thought of going on a date with him. Things were still a disaster, but they were looking up. I texted him back with a stupid smile on my face.
I can't wait either. I hope you sleep well and think of me.
I attached a picture of my hand inside my panties. I smiled as I sent it.
Good Night, Tease.
I rolled over and went to sleep, dreaming of him.
8
I woke up early that morning. I went to bed late and even though I was still tired my body wouldn't sleep any longer. I didn't have any texts or emails from him. That was a disappointment. I had no motivation. I didn't feel ready to update my resume let alone search for a job. That was the only thing I needed to be doing.
I was spiraling, and I needed to do something to get a handle on myself. I went to my computer to update my resume. I needed to force myself to do something productive. The process was straightforward. I only had one job since last updating. I still didn't buy ink for my printer.
The library became the obvious choice once again. I made a lot excuses to go there. I had been that way since I was kid. My motivations changed a little. A crazy part of me hoped that I would see him there. It was silly and unlikely, but I couldn't shake my hope for that possibility. I thought of our first meeting. I laughed at the thought of how things changed since then. I wished for my job at city hall. Things were in such tumult I craved that safety and stability.
The air was hot and muggy that morning. I made the walk trying to spend as little time in the wet air as I could. My hair expanded and frizzed with the electricity pulsing around me. It didn't rain yet, but it could turn into a thunder storm any moment. I reached the library as a few black clouds rolled over head. The first drops of water hit the cement, the smell mixed with the books as I walked in.
I headed for the basement stairs as I always did. The building had large windows in the ceiling that allowed natural light in. It night time with the sky black and raining. The fluorescent lights cast an odd glow. I noticed with surprise a commotion going on at the circulation desk. It had been a consistently quiet place until now. I knew it was rude, but I stood off to the corner watching. A man and a woman I recognized as one of the librarians were having a heated discussion.
He was in his mid-fifties with dark graying hair and small dark eyes. She was older than him but not by too much. She had large blonde hair. She threw up her hands saying something I couldn't quite hear. Her hair matched her mannerisms. I found it odd I never noticed her before this moment.
She finished ranting for a moment listening to what he said. Apparently, it didn't satisfy her. She laughed one sharp laugh. "I quit." The words were the first I heard with any clarity. She turned and stormed out. The man she'd been arguing with raised a hand like he might try to stop her. He changed his mind and put it back down.
I opened up in a lot of ways. I didn't know myself or what I wanted. For a moment I thought of the comfort of city hall. Something deep inside me spoke up. I didn't need comfort. I decided then that I couldn't be the type of person that let opportunity pass her by. There might be a job opening, and I needed a job.
I took a deep breath and walked up to the circulation desk. The man pressed his hand to his forehead and looked down. I didn't want to scare him, but he obviously didn't pay any attention. I cleared my throat gently. He jumped. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there. How can I help you this morning?" He shook a bit, but he did his best to sound professional.
I pushed my hair back from my face and squared my shoulders. "I hate to intrude, but I noticed you're short staffed. I hoped to apply for any open positions." I looked him in the eye.
He blinked at me, surprised. He had a heavy brow. It crumpled in thought above his small brown eyes. He thought for a moment before answering. Clearly, he had not even considered hiring a replacement. In this situation I decided it best to strike while the iron was hot. "Do you have any experience in a library or with management?" He managed.
I smiled at him with practiced professionalism. "Not in a library, but I have extensive office experience including next door at city hall." I overstated that, but I didn't care. "I'm familiar with your facility. I have a bachelor's degree. I'm an exceptionally hard worker. I can multitask, and I'm always on time."
He looked at me appraising what I told him. I hoped he didn't find me lacking. "Do you have a resume?" His to little away. I nearly laughed out loud, elated I bothered to finish that resume.
"I can print one for you."
He gestured toward the row of computers. "Print it out for me. If I like what I see, we can talk more about it."
"Thank you so much." I went quickly hoping to capitalize on my second bit of good fortune. I went to the line of computers feeling like I was in my high school library. I printed it out in record time. I read it over to make sure it didn't contain some glaring error that would make me seem like a complete idiot. I went back to the desk and handed him the still warm paper. He walked away with it, not even glancing at it in front of me.
I went to sit at a nearby bench to wait for him. I'm not sure where he went. He left for almost forty-five minutes. I started wondering if he sat in the back to wait me out. He wouldn't get off that easy today. I got up and started looking around the room for a book to read.
I spent a few minutes checking out titles and reading the back of a couple. He cleared his throat a bit louder than me, my turn to jump.
I turned to face him. He looked me over with a serious face. "I looked over your resume Ms. Green." His face turned in a way that told me he didn't find it thrilling. "I'm not sure you're qualified for the position." He wrung his hands together. "We are hiring a head librarian. It is administrative, its creative, it's interpersonal. This position is tantamount to our success."
His voice filled with emotion as he spoke of their success. "The community projects are handled by the board. That wouldn't be your concern, but it is still an incredible amount of responsibility. Is this something you think you can do? Is this too much responsibility for you? Answer me honestly."
I took a moment to think of how to answer. If I answered too fast he would discount me. I needed to take him as serious as he wanted. I didn't know if I could do the job, but if I didn't try I would regret it for a long time. I looked him in the eyes as I spoke only looking away often enough to keep it from being awkward.
"I'm smart. I'm a fast learner. I'm organized and good with people. I am able to juggle and handle multiple issues at once." I picked up my hands to emphasize my point. "I can't tell you I know I'm ready for the responsibility. You're right that it's more than I have ever had. I do believe that I can do it. I do think that if you give me a shot I will exceed both
of our expectations. You will see how hardworking, capable, and dedicated I am." I breathed a tiny bit heavy. I tried to hide it as I didn't want him to see how worked up I got defending myself.
He smiled a little. "Well Claire, I'll give you two weeks." He pulled a pair of glasses out of his pocket and put them on. They made his eyes look bigger and his face more handsome. "If the first two weeks work out. I'll give you a month. If that goes well it will be on a six-month contract basis after that." He wrote a number on a piece of paper. "This is the salary for the position. It's decided by the board and starting is non-negotiable. I have some forms for you to fill out. Do you have time to get started with that?" I nodded.
I couldn't help my smile. I realized smiling at a time like this was hardly appropriate. He did lose an employee who had been there a long time less than an hour earlier. I was too happy to hold it in. He walked away and into his office for another twenty minutes. I returned to scanning the shelves, now trying to get familiar with where everything lived.
He came out with what seemed like a mountain of books and paperwork "These ones I need filled out today." He handed me a thick pile. "This is your tax info, this is your acknowledgement of your trial basis, this is the code of conduct. I need the last page signed and returned to me acknowledging your acceptance. The rest of these you should read on your own time. It's important that you hit the ground running. Can you start tomorrow morning?"
I grew a bit nauseous. I ignored it as best I could. "What time would you like me here, sir?"
"Nine AM. You can call me Gavin, or Mr. Wolfe in front of the board. Now go get those filled out so I can get the ball rolling." He gave me the first full smile of the whole interaction and went on about his business. I wondered what he thought of me. Would he regret hiring me once he had a moment to think it through?
Maybe Hiring Page 4