We’d remained friendly enough after we ended things, especially before she left for college. I’d left a full year ahead of her and had come back for visits. We didn’t always catch up—sometimes she’d be away with her family or friends while I was in town and I wouldn’t see her. I hated those vacations. I started coming home less and less because of them. Home and Tessa were a package deal for me and on the occasions that she was absent, home seemed dull and uninviting. We called each other on birthdays, texted during holidays. Then, out of the blue, all of it stopped. I would’ve said it was just the way of life, people grow apart, but it wasn’t a coincidence that she started pretending we were complete strangers after my parents bought her family’s fabric company.
The handful of times I’d seen her after, she’d ignored me when I looked at her. If I walked into the same room, she’d pretend I wasn’t there. When I had managed to get her to talk to me, she hadn’t even looked me in the eyes. The only time she actually managed to meet my gaze was when she was glaring at me, which was ninety-nine percent of the time. None of that mattered. She was sitting with her back ramrod straight, her face tilted up slightly as she looked straight ahead. She had always been so beautiful. Beautiful, caring, and hardworking. With a heart of gold and a body that made a man think sinful, dirty thoughts. I swallowed those thoughts and started driving.
“When did you get back in town?” I’d been jogging by her house ever since I overheard my brother talking to her on the phone. I hadn’t asked about it. I just pretended I wasn’t listening as I followed him to the break room just to catch any information about her that I could. Unfortunately for me, I’d only managed to catch one laugh and one statement from him. And then I started jogging. As if I’d ever made jogging part of my workout in the past.
She glanced over briefly. “A couple of weeks ago.”
“How long will you be here this time?”
She gnawed on her bottom lip, looking at the road ahead. “A few weeks.”
“Hm. Leaving for good this time?” I was only half-joking. It was the one thing I’d clearly overheard my brother say on the phone.
“Actually, yes. For good this time.”
I smiled. Tessa was one of those girls who wanted to get out of her town in a blink but would come back and visit so often you’d never know she’d been gone at all. She loved her parents and siblings too much to just ghost.
“Do you still want to design dresses?”
“Maybe.” She shrugged.
“Where will you go?” I asked. “Did you get a job offer?”
Her face whipped in my direction. She had this wild look in those almond-shaped eyes of hers, as if she was unsure of what to do with everything I was asking. My chest squeezed as I waited.
“Why are you driving so slow? We should be there by now.”
She was right. I was driving slower than I’d ever driven before, trying to savor the little time I had her in my presence.
“You didn’t answer my questions.”
“Yeah, on purpose.”
Her words cut, but I didn’t let it show. I don’t bleed. It was something Dad drilled into us from a young age. Yes, people were all the same, we were all born and we would all die. The only thing really setting us apart was the way we chose to spend the short time we were alive. The difference between the Hawthorne’s and everyone else was that in times of trouble, we were to remain stoic. It was what was expected of us, after all. I hadn’t yet mastered my dad’s uncaring characteristics or the way mom upturned her nose to everything she didn’t approve of. Not sure if I ever would. As far as I knew, neither had my brother. I cleared my throat and turned my attention to Tessa. Kind, sweet, drop-dead-gorgeous-and-doesn’t-know-it Tessa.
“I just want to know how you’re doing.”
“I’m doing well. I’ll be better once I don’t have to see you running down my block every morning.”
A smile crept onto my lips. “I didn’t think you noticed. You never look.”
“You don’t need one more woman looking at you.”
“You’re right. I only need one woman looking at me.”
“Oh.” She stayed quiet for a beat, and I thought I finally had her, but then she lifted her fiery gaze to mine and added, “Did Camryn finally move here?”
Fucking Camryn. The jab bothered me more than it should have. Tessa had every right to throw that in my face, and with the rumblings that were happening in regard to Hawthorne Industries, I wouldn’t be surprised if Camryn took her claws out of the hedge fund manager she’d been fucking in New York and came back around to try to stake her claim on my last name again. It was what I would do if I were her. That was the thing about Camryn. Underneath everything, I saw pieces of myself in her loneliness. She wasn’t like Tessa. Not the Tessa I knew, anyway.
I didn’t feel like I knew this version of her. This mean, snappy woman who looked at me as if I were mud beneath her feet. Though, I had to admit, I did like the idea that she was a little jealous. Maybe I had a chance to right this after all.
She’s leaving soon.
The thought crashed through me like a ten-foot wave. It was the same wave that crashed through me when I was set to leave for college and had broken things off with her because I didn’t want her to think this had any chance of turning into a long-distance relationship. Later, I’d changed my mind about it and she’d waved the idea away. That was when the possibility that she’d never actually be mine hit me, and I selfishly started to hate myself for breaking things off to begin with.
After pulling into the parking lot much sooner than I would have liked, I threw the car into park and went to climb out, but she put her hand on my arm.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to help.”
I willed my heart not to pound the way it was. I do not bleed. Damn it. “Sam’s waiting for me. He’ll help me get this stuff inside and take me home when I’m done. I’m sure you’re dying to shower.”
Her cheeks flamed when she said that, and she looked away to open the door. I would’ve reveled in it, but my jaw clenched at the mention of my brother’s name. Before I had time to say anything smart, he was jogging outside, smiling at her as if she were the only person in the universe. My hands gripped the steering wheel. My brother was a good guy, the kind of guy you want your daughter taking home—hardworking and caring.
I considered myself a good guy, but I was selfish where he wasn’t. I was driven where he was just okay with the position he’d been working in for years. He didn’t even take Dad up on the offer of moving up in the company. I watched as Tessa got out of the car and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. Was it a friendly hug? Was it more than that? In spite of everything I’d once shared with my brother, in that moment, I hated him.
I knew I held no claim on her, but I hated Samson for having any part of her. Even when we were all just friends, they had understood each other on a level I hadn’t quite been able to reach. It still bothered me. I would have killed to have just one tiny sliver of her affection still. Tessa did that to people. She was a light in this dark, ugly world, and with the power to turn your bad days around with a simple smile. I let that slip away. I agreed with that. I just didn’t know why. I wanted to curse the day my parents bought her family’s factory, but my self-importance wouldn’t even let me do that. Regardless of that, I missed her.
“Hey, Ro. You coming inside?” Sam asked as he dipped into my back seat and gathered the fabrics.
“I’ll be back in an hour.”
Tessa opened the passenger door again and grabbed her bag. “Thanks for the ride,” she said in a low, sweet voice I hadn’t heard directed at me in ages. My eyes snapped to hers.
“I can go by and figure out what to do with the truck,” I offered.
“No need. I’ll have a tow truck go by there or have Sam go get it for me.”
Sam. Fucking Sam. My own brother. “You getting cozy with my brother now?”
She shrugged as if to say they were together but not
serious and then glanced away. I didn’t like the way the burn of that shrug curled inside me, so I took a deep breath and let it out. I did not bleed. I shouldn’t have even cared who she was with. Surely, she’d probably dated other guys in the last five years, but still, something about seeing it made it different. Maybe it was because it was my brother and dating each other’s exes was supposed to be off the table.
“Well, thanks again.” She pushed back and closed the door.
I lowered the window. “Tessa! Maybe we can have dinner sometime.”
She pursed her lips. My heart raced. At least she was thinking about it. I felt a slow smile creep on my face and watched as she flushed.
“I’m not sure your girlfriend would appreciate that.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I’m single then.”
She looked at me for a moment longer, chewing her bottom lip as she mulled over whatever it was she wanted to say. “I’ll think about it.”
I let out a breath and smiled. Thinking about it was better than flat out no.
Chapter Three
Tessa
“Does he think we’re together?” Sam asked as he drove me home.
“Who?”
He shot me an impatient look. I bit my lip and looked out the window to keep from answering. Maybe if he truly thought I didn’t know whom he was talking about he’d leave me alone. It was highly unlikely, but a girl could hope. Sam rarely let questions go unanswered, and one look at my face would tell him I was full of it.
“My brother,” he said. “He looked at me like he wanted to kill me.”
“Who cares?” I shrugged.
“He’s my brother.”
“Doesn’t he always look at you like that? I mean, you said yourself that you’ve barely spoken a word since he left for college.” I raised an eyebrow. I didn’t know the details, but I assumed they had a falling out. One of those absolutely absurd reasons that made no sense but made people lose touch completely. I guess I could have understood it if they weren’t the only sibling the other had.
“I’ve been trying to fix things between us. Besides, even if I could dodge him at family functions, I’m going to have to put up with him at Hawthorne Fabrics for the rest of my life.”
“It isn’t like he’s the boss there.”
“Yet.”
Yet. The word angrily made its way around my gut and festered. Rowan would fit into his father’s shoes once he took over Hawthorne for good. He would also hate it if he knew I was comparing him to his father, not that it was an outlandish comparison when I considered the way he’d turned out. I turned my attention back to Sam.
“You never know, you may end up being the boss instead.”
“I don’t want to be the boss,” he said. “I’m perfectly content with my brother having that role. He’s business savvy, I’m not. He has the same drive that Dad has, I don’t. I like the creative work, not the number crunching. I hate dealing with people, he loves it.”
“I like that about you.”
“I know.” He smiled. “So? Does he think we’re together?”
“I may have let him believe we might be together.” I closed my eyes and cringed as I said the words. Sam chuckled.
“Why? You wanted to up the ante in our sibling rivalry?”
“I just didn’t like the way he asked me if we were together, as if he deserves to be privy to any of that information, so I let him believe we were.”
He stayed silent for a long moment before speaking. “You know, I’ve always thought mind games were dumb. Especially between two people who are clearly longing for each other.”
“I don’t long for him.” I scoffed. “He’s moved on. I’ve moved on. End of story.”
He scoffed back. “You’ve moved on? With who? Me? Under false pretenses?”
“I dated guys in college,” I said. “Besides, I don’t need a man in order to say I’ve moved on. I’ve moved on with my life, period.”
“Yet, you involve me in the mix because you know he’d have a problem with it. You knew he was jealous of our friendship even when you and he were together.”
I rolled my eyes. “Well, that’s bullshit because we’re just friends. Besides, he has a girlfriend. I don’t know why he cares about who I’m with.”
“You know damn well Camryn isn’t his girlfriend.”
“Yet, we can’t seem to place her in an alternative category.”
“This isn’t jeopardy, Tess,” he said with an exhale. “Maybe it’s force of habit. Or maybe he isn’t over you.”
“Let’s go with the brother thing or even the force of habit. He and I weren’t even together. Not really anyway.”
“You were friends for a long time, though,” he said.
“Yeah, and we should’ve stayed friends.”
“Probably. Still, I find it hard to believe that two people as close as you two were can’t salvage at least the friendship you had. It’s sad, don’t you think?”
“It is,” I admitted.
It was the reason I regretted ever taking my relationship with Rowan to the next level. Even after we broke up, I didn’t have it in me to hate him. I loved him too much for that. It hadn’t been until the Hawthorne takeover happened that I started to hate him. He had known it was going to happen and hadn’t thought to tell me. His father consulted everything with him. Everything. So there was no chance that he didn’t know about it and he just didn’t tell me anything. Not that my parents had said a word to me about it until it was done, but that was different. In their eyes, I’d forever be the baby of the family. They didn’t need my approval to sell the company. Rowan used to call me for mindless things, but when something that important, that life changing, happened, I didn’t get so much as a text. What was worse, when I sent him one, he left it unopened and unanswered.
The kicker was that my family’s fabrics company wasn’t the only one his parents bought. There had been four within a one-hundred-mile radius. Surely, they didn’t need one more. They didn’t need ours. If Rowan had told me, I would have come home and prevented it from happening. I could have convinced my dad not to sell. I would’ve done anything to keep Monte Industries out of it, including dropping out of the fancy ivy league school I was in and opting for a smaller college. It’s not like Monte Industries was anywhere near as big as Hawthorne Industries, but the upholstery we made was beautiful and sought-out by all the local furniture companies. When I was little, I’d go to work with my parents and marvel that all of those people worked for us, making things my father had designed. Now, they all worked for the Hawthornes.
“You can’t blame him for something he didn’t have a say in,” Sam said. “Trust me, I didn’t even know about it.”
“I can assure you he did, and I only blame him for not confiding in me. That sale ruined my family.”
He shot me a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry.”
“It isn’t your fault.”
“If you don’t blame me, you shouldn’t blame him either.”
“Why are you so hell-bent on defending him today?”
He pulled into my driveway and then turned to face me. “Look, I have a lot of issues with my brother, but I can’t fault him for what happened to your family. And you shouldn’t either. Maybe if you try being friends with him again, you would be able to see that.”
I shook my head. “Some things are better left alone.”
“And some things are worth chasing. Friendship is one of them.”
“Not with people you feel this strongly about.”
His stared at me for a moment, looking like he wanted to say something more, but he just shook his head and looked out the windshield.
I sighed and reached for my door handle. “Thanks for the ride.”
“I’ll drive by the area where you said the truck died and call a tow truck to come get it.”
“I can do that.”
“Today was the last day of you bringing fabrics for me to lug in. Consider it a parting gift.”
“Feel free to print that in the newspaper.” He winked as he drove off, and I laughed as I headed inside.
Chapter Four
Rowan
Tessa had crawled into my head and made a little nest there long ago. In college, during those early morning bus rides with my teammates, I’d shut my eyes and pretend I was back in her truck. That led to thinking about her more than I should have. Normally, I could swat it away and ignore its existence, but this time, she seemed to be the only thing I could think about. Maybe it was because today was the first time in forever that I’d gotten to actually talk to her, but the only thing I seemed to be able to think about was the next time I could see her. If she didn’t accept my dinner invitation, I wasn’t even sure how I would see her again, short of me showing up at her house, but if that was what it took, I’d do it. That was the thing about Tessa. Once I caught a whiff of her, I seemed to crave her beyond comprehension. To this day, I couldn’t explain it.
I sighed as I walked into the little restaurant I was set to have lunch with my mother in, which was not something I was looking forward to. Ever since my parents announced their split to us back in the spring, it had felt as if the world had turned upside down and I was left clinging on to anything that could withstand the storm brewing. Sam didn’t know how good he had it, sitting back on the sidelines and getting to follow his creative passions. The whole giving-no-fucks vibe definitely had him at an even steeper advantage.
I spotted her dark brown hair almost immediately. Mom always had the same hairstyle—a sophisticated bun that kept the hair from her face. I cursed when I noticed the blonde sitting beside her and then wished I had been paying closer attention. Had I noticed sooner, I would have turned around and walked right out. I took a breath and kept my anger in check.
Then There Was You: New York Times Best Selling Author Page 2