Cool. Calm. Controlled.
“What about you?” she asked to change the subject.
“What about me?”
“You said it yourself. This is your thinking spot, so what did you come here to think about?”
His gaze moved to the rippling water in front of them. “Nothing important, really. Work stuff. We’ve been taking on a lot of new customers lately, and I’ve been trying to figure out if it’s the right time to expand a bit. Add a few more guys, another truck. It’s a big monetary risk but with a potentially massive reward.”
She shook her head, the subtle hint of insecurity in his voice washing away any lingering traces of anger. The insecurity he worked so hard not to let anyone see. “You know, I don’t think I’ve told you how proud I am of you.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“No, I’m serious. You have worked so hard and come so far with this company, even just in the last few years. I knew you would do amazing things.”
“You really mean that?” He said it quietly, as if he wasn’t used to hearing that kind of praise. That hurt Harper’s heart even more than his sad smile.
His arm was still wrapped around her, and despite her better instincts, she rested her head on his shoulder. “I do,” she said nervously. “I know we weren’t together that long—”
“One hundred and seven days.”
Her head snapped up. He was gazing out at the water almost dreamily. “What?”
“We were together one hundred and seven days. At least, if you count it from that day I found you on the side of the road with that flat tire. Which I do.”
“You—you counted?”
He looked at her, his grin wavering. “Of course I did.”
He’d counted. He’d actually counted the number of days they were together. It was enough to make her dizzy. He gazed at her through eyes filled with so much warmth and feeling she hadn’t seen since he showed up on her doorstep with the gardenia bush. She felt like she’d been transported back to three summers ago. Like he still cared about her the way he’d never cared about anyone else before. She could almost convince herself it was how he’d look at someone he loved.
Her lungs deflated. No matter how badly some part of her still wished he could love her like that, it just wasn’t possible. This was the same Cowboy she knew years ago, the same Cowboy she knew was incapable of falling in love. He’d more or less proven that to her.
His hand found her heated cheek. His gaze drifted over her eyes, her nose. Finally, they settled on her lips. She knew him well enough to know what he was thinking. He wanted to kiss her. Heck, she wanted to kiss him, too, even knowing nothing good could ever come of it. Knowing he could never love her the way she wanted him to.
Eyes still focused on her lips, Cowboy’s thumb caressed her cheek. He started to lean closer but stopped mere inches from her mouth.
“I should go,” he blurted out.
Harper’s eyes darted to his lips and back up to his eyes, her heart pounding so hard and so fast she struggled to breathe.
“What?”
He blinked, pulling away and removing his arm from her shoulders as he looked out over the water. When he looked back at her, his usual smile was there. She tried to match it with her own, but behind it her mind ran a mile a minute.
“I’m supposed to stop by the market on my way home.” He sighed. “You ever hear of a pregnant woman eating sauerkraut and avocado on a pepperoni pizza?”
Harper cringed. “God, no.”
“I swear this kid of theirs is going to come out even crazier than her parents.” He gave her another small, sad smile. “I better get going. I’ll see you around.”
Harper watched as Cowboy stood. He turned away and slowly started making his way up the beach. “Hey, Cowboy,” she called when he’d made it about ten feet. He turned to face her with the same smile he had before.
“Thanks.” She didn’t know what else to say. Only a week ago, she’d thought he was going to kiss her, but she’d stopped him. Just now, she’d been positive he would, and she didn’t. She didn’t know what she’d been thinking or why she hadn’t pulled away. All she knew was that her body had wanted nothing more than to let him kiss her in that moment.
He nodded, turned away again, and continued the walk back to his landscaping truck, leaving Harper still sitting on the beach and feeling even more confused and alone than before.
Chapter Fifteen
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
Harper snatched a hand towel from the kitchen island and raced to the stove. Small flames danced in the burning pan, and she waved a towel over it to try to put the fire out. Each time she did, the flames grew larger.
“Dadgummit!”
Harper winced as the cry of the smoke detector continued to blare through the kitchen and attack her eardrums. She tried fanning the flames again, only making it worse. The smoke grew thicker in the air, stinging her eyes and causing them to water.
“What the hell!”
Harper spun around just as a blur of yellow darted into the room. Sadie reached the stove and shoved Harper out of the way. She snatched the pot lid resting by the stove and slammed it over the pan, dousing the flames instantly. Then she cut the heat off and removed the pan from the burner.
Harper marveled at her little sister’s quick actions. Why hadn’t she thought to do any of that? “You’re home,” she cried out over the wail of constant beeping.
“Yeah. Margot and I were researching for a project at the library. I just got back.” Sadie knelt and pulled a sheet pan out of one of the bottom cupboards. She darted through the smoky room and stopped just beneath the smoke detector where she began fanning the air over her head. “And it’s a good thing, too.”
Sadie waved the sheet pan over her head several more seconds before the beeping stopped, leaving the room in blissful silence.
Harper continued to stare at Sadie. “That was amazing.”
She waved the pan a few more times for good measure. Then she tossed it onto the kitchen table and turned to her sister. “What the hell were you doing?”
“I was trying to apologize to you.”
“By burning the house down?”
Harper shrugged. “Obviously, that wasn’t my intention. I was going to cook a nice dinner for us and then tell you how sorry I am.”
Sadie’s hands planted on her hips, her eyes narrowed. “I’m listening.”
“I realize I was a bit too tough on you. I had no idea how hard it was for you here, taking care of Grams, having to be the adult for three years.”
“Go on.”
Harper relaxed minutely. The fact that Sadie wasn’t yelling or storming out was as good a sign as any. “So, how about we agree you call me when you’re going out somewhere or running late and call it a draw?”
Sadie seemed to consider it. “What about a midnight curfew?”
“Don’t push it.”
“Fine,” Sadie grumbled. “I’ll agree on one condition.”
“Yeah?”
“You let me do all the cooking from now on.”
Harper frowned as she glanced around the smoky room, taking in the mess of dirty dishes, the random ingredients strewn all over the kitchen counters, and lastly, the charred remains left in the lidded pan on the stove.
Her shoulders fell. “Deal.”
*
An hour later, Harper was setting the table while Sadie put the finishing touches on their meal. After cleaning up her own failed attempt at making dinner, Harper had sat at the kitchen island and watched in amazement as Sadie flitted around the room with such confidence and authority she almost didn’t recognize her. She’d gone to the fridge, pulling out random meats and vegetables without so much as a moment’s thought or hesitation. She peeled potatoes and chopped vegetables like a pro. She created a mixture of flour and spices, handling the meat with precision and care like she’d done it a thousand times.
And all without a recipe, which was wha
t astounded Harper more than anything else.
“So what did you make us?” Harper asked as Sadie put together two plates of food for them. In truth, Harper didn’t care what it was. It all smelled incredible, and her stomach was aching to get a taste of it.
“Country fried steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, and green beans.” She grabbed the plates from the counter and carried them over to the table. Harper’s mouth watered when her plate settled in front of her.
“Since when do you cook?”
Sadie set her plate down in the spot across from Harper and took her seat. “About two years ago. Grams wasn’t very good at keeping track of our food and meals or the shopping, so I kind of took over.”
Harper nodded, trying to ignore the sting in her stomach that was becoming all too familiar since she got back. “So now you’re all Julia Child, throwing meals together without even looking at the recipes? That’s pretty cool, Sadie.”
Sadie shrugged. “You haven’t even tried it yet. For all you know, it could be disgusting.”
“As good as it smells, I highly doubt it.” Still, Harper made her first bite of the steak a small one.
“Holy crap! Sadie, this is amazing,” she said before shoveling another, much larger bite into her mouth. “Seriously, this is even better than Grams’s cooking.”
“It’s her recipe. I just played around with the spices a bit.” Sadie’s words came out casually enough, but Harper recognized the small look of pride in her eyes.
“I can’t believe you made this all from scratch. What else can you make?”
“Anything really. Steak, chicken, fish. I made pretty much our entire Thanksgiving dinner last year.” Her voice was filled with this enthusiasm Harper hadn’t heard from Sadie since she moved back home. It reminded her of Lo’s passion when she talked about the art gallery.
“Oh, and you should try my barbecue ribs. Cowboy says they’re the best thing he’s ever eaten.”
Harper’s forkful of green beans froze halfway to her lips. “Cowboy?”
Sadie’s eyes met hers, and her face fell. “Yeah. He, uh, ate dinner with us a few times.”
“How many is a few, exactly?”
Shoulders tensed, Sadie pushed her mashed potatoes around with her fork and avoided her sister’s gaze. “About once a week,” she muttered.
Harper’s breaths became short. “Oh,” was all she could say. Sitting beside her on the beach, he’d mentioned coming by a few times to check on Grams, but she had no idea it was a weekly occurrence.
Sadie set her fork down. “I’m sorry. He liked to come by to take care of the yard and check on me and Grams, even though he’d never admit to the last part. And every time he did, Grams would insist on feeding him a home-cooked meal.”
That sounded like something Grams would do. She’d taken an instant liking to Cowboy that first night she met him. And Harper didn’t think she’d met anyone more appreciative of Grams’s cooking than he was. Still, to know that he’d stayed so close to them for so long, after everything that happened between them. After what he’d done.
It made no sense.
“I’m really, really sorry. I thought Grams told you.”
Harper shook her head. “It’s okay, really. I shouldn’t be surprised. He really liked Grams, not to mention her cooking. I bet they had a lot to talk about.”
“Sure. Town gossip, mostly. Grams used to call him her eyes and ears. And they’d talk about you sometimes. How you were getting on in Boston, whether you liked your classes or not, if you’d made any new friends.”
“He asked about me?”
Sadie shrugged. “He never came right out and asked, but he practically chomped at the bit until Grams finally turned the conversation to you. I’m pretty sure she used it as a ploy to try to get him to tell her what happened before you left. She was always so nosy. But don’t worry,” she added quickly. “He never told us anything. Just that it was all his fault, and…”
“And what?”
“That…that it was the biggest mistake of his life.”
Harper’s gaze fell to her plate still half full with food that, moments ago, had seemed so appetizing to her.
“Do you think there will ever be another chance for you two?”
Harper forced herself to look at Sadie and shook her head. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
Because you can’t be with someone you don’t trust. And while a part of Harper did trust Cowboy, trusted him with her own life even, she would never be able to trust him with her heart. Not again.
“It’s complicated.”
Sadie frowned. “I hate when people say that.” She took a bite of her potatoes. “So you can’t be with him, but you can be his friend. How does that work exactly?”
Harper considered the question. “Honestly, it’s just easier.”
“Easier than what?”
“Not caring at all.” She’d tried not to care, tried the entire time she was in Boston. And she thought she’d done a pretty decent job of it, too, right up until the moment she saw him coming up that walkway with a baby gardenia bush in hand.
Harper cleared her throat. “Could we talk about something else, please?”
Sadie nodded, letting the subject go. At least for now. “Any news with the B&B?”
“Actually, yeah.” Harper perked up instantly. “I got the official plans from Keith this morning. I was thinking we could take a look at them after dinner. Maybe you could give me a few design ideas.”
“Really?” Sadie asked, a surprised smile on her face.
“Sure. You’ve got a better eye for that kind of stuff than I do. Plus, it’s your place, too. You should get a say in it all.”
Sadie’s grin doubled. “Okay, yeah. That sounds like it could be fun.”
“Great.”
Once they finished their meals, Sadie cleared the table while Harper grabbed the plans she’d gotten from Keith. They spent the next several hours poring over them. It turned out Sadie had a lot of ideas for how she wanted each room to look and feel, and most of them even Harper could get on board with. They made lists of things they’d need and even made plans to check out a design warehouse over in Dublin for more inspiration.
And for the first time since Harper got home, she and Sadie were able to make it through the evening without a screaming match or her little sister running off to avoid being in the same room with her.
Progress.
DAY 81
Orange and yellow flames flickered within the stone walls of the firepit, and Cowboy might have appreciated the dazzling spectacle they created if he weren’t so distracted by the woman standing in front of them.
The sun had set several minutes ago, leaving the sky a dark blue in its wake. Harper stood by the firepit next to Logan Kase, her slender curves lit by the warm glow of the flames while she appeared to listen intently to Lo’s story. Harper giggled, and the sound filled his chest with a warmth he’d grown too familiar with over the last month.
He took a sip of his beer, his eyes never leaving her, the ice-cold liquid like a fresh breeze in the stiflingly humid summer night air.
There was a deep chuckle beside him, and his attention turned to the man standing next to him at the outdoor grill.
“What?”
Smoke billowed up from the hot coals as Cole Tucker proceeded to flip multiple hamburgers and hot dogs with one hand while the other ran through his short, dark hair. Cole shook his head. “I just can’t get used to you being the guy in the serious relationship.”
“Kiss my ass.”
“I’m serious. If you’d told me back in high school you’d end up dating any girl, let alone Harper Maddox, I’m not sure I would have believed you.”
“Pretty sure I wouldn’t have believed me either.”
Cole nodded. “Still, it makes sense that she’d be the one to finally get your attention.”
“How do you figure?”
“I don’t know. She challenges you, I g
uess, in a way no other woman has. With most of them, you’re only interested in sex, and then you get bored. But I see the way you smile every time she so much as moves or talks, or even breathes. It’s clearly not just about sex with you two, at least not all the time,” he said with a suggestive eyebrow raise before moving on. “You actually like spending time with her. You can talk to her.”
“I talk to Lo,” he felt the need to point out.
“True, but not about everything. And you and I both know she’s never been more than a sister to you. Harper’s the only woman you’ve been with that you actually care enough about to get to know. That means something.”
That much he already knew, but what exactly it meant he still wasn’t sure.
“You and Lo seem really happy.” He nudged Cole with his elbow while the latter continued to work the grill.
Cole eyed Lo across their backyard and sighed, a goofy grin creeping up onto his face. “We are. It’s weird. I thought I knew what it would be like if I ever finally got her, how happy she’d make me, but I look at her now and realize I’d barely even scratched the surface.” He let out a small, contented sigh. “I had no idea just how good it would be.”
Cowboy knew what Cole meant. The last few weeks with Harper were some of the happiest of his life. He couldn’t remember how he’d gotten out of bed without her silly morning texts, how he made it through the day without her making him laugh so hard he nearly cried, whether any other woman had ever caused that heat of desire so strong it burned in his chest whenever she so much as looked at him.
The same desire he felt now as he watched her over the raised hood of the grill. She caught his stare and smiled back shyly, unable to hide her own longing look, which he’d seen grow exponentially since that night at the lake almost a month ago. The way her breath picked up as he’d caressed her bare skin…
“You two going to gab like old ladies all night, or are we going to get to eat sometime soon?” Logan yelled from the firepit. She glared at Cowboy and Cole, but her tone was playful. “I’m starving over here.”
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