by Megan Bryce
Olivia frowned. “Of course not. But you are simply feeling guilty for taking my...”
“...maidenhead?”
“My innocence.”
“As you said before, Olivia, you were not an innocent. Inexperienced, and I rectified that, but you were definitely not an innocent.”
True. But she couldn’t help feeling that this was a mistake and blamed it on his honor. He had ruined her for marriage, she was sure he thought so, and proposed to her out of guilt.
“Nathaniel. I can’t marry you.”
“Why not? We are eminently suited for each other.”
“I would make you a terrible wife. I have been alone for too long.”
Nathaniel shook his head.
“Yes, I have. Not even you would let me sneak outside every clear night.”
“Well-”
“And what about children? I’m not sure I’m mother material. I don’t like being constantly distracted.”
“Olivia-”
“I do like being an aunt, it’s true. But I get to go home at the end of the day. When they stub their little toes, it’s not me they go running to.”
“Olivia, I hate to mention this but we have been intimate. You may already be pregnant.”
Olivia stared at him indignantly. “I thought you had taken care of that!”
Nathaniel shrugged. “There is always the possibility.”
She sat down in silence, considering. Finally, she shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
“And you’re right, I wouldn’t let you sneak outside every clear night. It’s too dangerous, and I can’t believe your father allows it.”
“I told you.”
“But I would build you a tower. An observatory that you could escape to but would be safe.”
She stared at him, torn between laughter at the idea and amazement. Had he considered this already?
“An observatory?”
“With your easels out there already—a chair, blankets. You could simply slip up there and I wouldn’t worry.” He laughed. “I was just congratulating myself on choosing an inexpensive wife.”
Olivia shook her head. “It wouldn’t be the same.”
“It would be better.”
“I like helping my father with the estate. Truthfully, he hasn’t cared for the books in nearly five years.”
“I don’t see why you would have to stop doing that. Indeed, I would enjoy input from you about my estates.”
She shook her head. “I am as free as any woman could ever be. My life is exactly as I want it.”
He took her hand. “When I am with you, my future does not seem so dark. When I am with you, life is colorful and wonderful. Can you not say the same?”
She whispered sadly, “Nathaniel...”
He let go of her hand. “Think on it, Olivia. We are perfect for each other.”
She shook her head. “It’s impossible. Perhaps we could go on like this.”
Nathaniel rose, taking a step back. “Perhaps not. One day we will both tire of sneaking around.” He pointed at the hard deck. “We will tire of bruised backsides. We will tire of having to separate at the end of the day.”
Olivia said nothing, merely watched him with sad eyes.
He turned to leave and she took a rose from her chair quickly. “Will you not stay tonight?”
He shook his head. “I came offering you the stars and all you want is the moon. I will not settle for less, Olivia.”
Eight
Nathaniel found his mother at home the next morning. He threw himself into a chair, flopping into a boneless heap.
“Good afternoon, Nathaniel.”
“Mother. Prepare yourself; I’m getting married.”
“Hallelujah. I assume to Miss Blakesley?”
“You assume correctly. However, there is a small problem.”
“And you’ve come to me to fix it? How odd. Are you feeling quite well, dear?”
“No. I have a recalcitrant bride-to-be who will not listen to me at all.”
“Hmm. You’ve picked well for yourself. I’d hate for you to be saddled with a woman who ran to do your bidding.”
“Thank you. Now will you help me?”
“Of course. A woman always needs more grandchildren.”
Nathaniel muttered under his breath. Where the idea came from that the female was the weaker sex, he had no idea. They always did exactly what they wished.
“First, I must make sure that the lady in question does want to marry you. I would hate to coerce Miss Blakesley into marrying an ogre if she didn’t love you.”
“Thank you again, Mother. Why don’t I ask Barters to stab me in the back as well.”
“Your valet would never do such a thing, even if you begged. Blood is quite awful to get out of cloth.” Anne skewered her son with the look. “Why does Miss Blakesley refuse your hand?”
“I don’t know. Yes, I do. Because she has had too much freedom in the past. Too much time to think. She should have been married ages ago. She says she would make me a terrible wife.”
“Hmm. Have you considered that she may not love you, Nathaniel? I do not mean to be cruel, but perhaps she was being tactful.”
“Olivia? Tactful? She’s never heard the word. If she didn’t want to marry me she would have come right out and told me I was an under-educated toad.” He sighed. “She came damned close to tears when she refused me. She is simply being stubborn.”
“I shall call on a few ladies. How do they say it in the militia? I will gather my forces. It is a mother’s duty to see her children married.”
Anne held her hand out to Nathaniel and he rose to his feet swiftly.
“Shall we plan on an autumn wedding?”
“I would prefer summer, Mother. Perhaps I’ll apply for a special license. Or carry her off to Gretna Green. I’ll need some rope and a gag.”
“No, Nathaniel. I only have two children and I will have full weddings for the both of you. Leave Olivia to me.”
“Thank you, Mother. I knew I could count on you.”
“Of course, my dear. That’s what mothers are for.”
“Mrs. Anne Jenkins is here to see you, Ma’am.”
“Anne Jenkins? Send her in, send her in. Oh, dear!”
Mrs. Blakesley nervously ran her fingers over her cap and fingered her fichu. What in the world was Mrs. Jenkins doing over here at this hour?
The housekeeper escorted Mrs. Jenkins in and Mrs. Blakesley rose. “Mrs. Jenkins.”
“Mrs. Blakesley. I do apologize for intruding at this hour, but I fear it is an emergency.”
“Of course, of course. Sit down, please.”
“Thank you.” She sat demurely, barely glancing at the arrangement of the room and offering no courtesies. “Mrs. Blakesley, you must be aware of the attachment between our children.”
Mrs. Blakesley nodded. Then her eyes widened and her hand flew to her chest. “Tell me they have not run off to Gretna Green, Mrs. Jenkins! Oh, the scandal!”
“They have not run off to Gretna Green.”
“Oh. Then, pray tell, what is the emergency?”
“Perhaps I spoke in haste. However, there is a matter that must needs be drawn to our attention. It is our duty to see our children married fortuitously, happily, and if at all possible, before our deaths. You must agree with me, Mrs. Blakesley.”
Mrs. Blakesley held her breath, trying to dampen her growing anger. “I do quite agree with you, Mrs. Jenkins. And I find the match to be fortuitous and happy for both sides.”
“As do I. Which is why we must act together to marry them off.”
Mrs. Blakesley blinked. “Pardon me, Mrs. Jenkins. For a moment there I thought you had come to run my daughter off.”
“Oh, dear. Of course not. I find the match perfectly acceptable. Miss Blakesley is not as young as some girls these days, but I find that suits my son better. He would never be happy with a silly girl. The matter I wish to bring to your attention is the fact that my son has already pro
posed to Miss Blakesley.”
Mrs. Blakesley fluttered her handkerchief and bit back a squeal. “All six of my daughters married! Oh, Mrs. Jenkins, this is not an emergency!”
“She refused him.”
“Pardon?”
“Miss Blakesley turned him down.”
Mrs. Blakesley’s eyebrows drew together and she leaned back heavily in her chair. “My daughter has refused the only marriage proposal she will ever receive?”
Mrs. Jenkins nodded.
Mrs. Blakesley folded her hands carefully in her lap. “I understand the emergency now, Mrs. Jenkins.”
“Thank you. We both have children who remain unmarried far longer than one would wish. I intend to rectify that.”
“Indeed. I shall help.”
“Olivia.”
“Mama? What is the matter?”
“I was visited by Mrs. Jenkins today.”
Olivia looked down at her painting, mentally cursing herself. She should have expected this. Nathaniel was not the sort to give up easily.
“I was not aware you knew Mrs. Jenkins.”
“Of course we’ve met, Olivia. Our children were spending quite a bit of time together. In fact, some people would have been expecting an announcement soon.”
Olivia sighed. Whatever Mrs. Jenkins had told her mother, and Olivia was more than a little worried about that, it wasn’t good. She could tell by the calm, monotone voice.
“An announcement seems a bit premature to me. But perhaps tongues start to wag as soon as a man asks for a dance.”
Her mother bent down until her nose nearly touched Olivia’s cheek. “It wouldn’t have been premature if you had accepted his proposal.”
“Ah. That was a bit quick. I hadn’t expected you to hear of that quite yet.” Or Mrs. Jenkins. Had Nathaniel told her? Everything?
Mrs. Blakesley walked to an empty stool and dragged it across the room, positioning it beside Olivia. She smiled stiffly and sat.
“I had thought Mr. Jenkins to have the approval of your brothers. Have you discovered some serious flaw in his character?”
Olivia muttered, “Brothers-in-law, Mother. You of all people should know I have no blood brothers.” Her mother’s forced bonhomie was more frightening than her anger.
Mrs. Blakesley ignored her. “Perhaps he has a gambling addiction?”
“I doubt it.”
“He lost his temper and frightened you?”
“Mr. Jenkins? Please, Mother. He’s certainly lost his patience with me, but never his temper.”
Her mother watched her for a moment, then turned to stare out the window.
“He’s kissed you, hasn’t he?”
Olivia couldn’t stop the blush from blossoming across her cheeks. She ducked her head, hoping her hair blocked her mother’s view.
“Oh, Olivia. He has!” She cleared her throat. “A man’s passions are not to be feared, Livvy.”
Olivia’s mouth dropped open and she stared at her mother in horror. “Moth-”
“No, it was not proper for him to kiss you, but not entirely unexpected. He has scared you.”
Olivia placed her paintbrush gently on the easel. Perhaps she could tiptoe out of the room and drown herself?
Her mother continued. “A man’s urges are sometimes wild and uncontrollable, Livvy. But a wife’s duty is not always a duty. It is possible to...to enjoy a husband’s embrace.”
Oh, dear God. “Mother, please! There is no need, really. Mr. Jenkins did not scare me!”
Her mother breathed a sigh of relief. “Good, good. Because there really is nothing to fear.”
Olivia turned to her mother and grabbed her hands, hoping to forestall any more embarrassing reassurances. “He did not scare me, Mother. And if I were to marry, I would be quite lucky to have him as a husband. But I am not wifely material. I would be awful! I do as I please and neither you nor Papa has ever been able to make me do otherwise. That is not a good quality for a wife. You must admit that.”
Her mother looked torn between a stubborn refusal to admit the truth and the dashed hopes of seeing all her daughters happily married.
Olivia squeezed her hands. “I respect Mr. Jenkins far too much to saddle him with me for a wife.”
“Perhaps you do not respect him enough to let him decide what he wants in a wife.”
Olivia stood, stowing her paints and brushes quickly. “He shouldn’t want me. I should never have accosted him. He is a good man, a decent man, an honorable man! And I, dear mother, am an idiot. I should have seen this.”
“Seen what? That a good, decent man would want to marry you? Of course he would! You have many good qualities to offer a husband.”
“Oh, yes? Do you think he would want me to take over the books for him? I shall certainly offer my services, but that does not mean he should marry me. I am what I am, Mother. A spinster extraordinaire.”
“Olivia Blakesley! Do not use that foul word in this household!”
“It is not a foul word. And just because you attack anyone who utters it doesn’t change the fact. Can you not see what I am, who I am? Nothing! Nobody! Five daughters married is enough! I am happy! I want nothing more! I do not want Mr. Nathaniel Jenkins!”
Nine
Nathaniel was unsurprised when his sister burst into his library. He’d expected her much earlier.
“Nathaniel.”
“Diana. How are you?”
“Good. Hold him, won’t you?” She thrust Nathaniel’s latest nephew into his arms. “He will not be put down and insists on crying in my ear.”
Nathaniel held his nephew expertly, jiggling the boy and making faces until he stopped his wailing. “What a mean mama you have, Jacob. Doesn’t she know that crying is simply your way of saying you want a biscuit?”
“Oh, Mama knows it. His fondness for biscuits is why my arms are about ready to fall off.” She eyed him. “It looks like children are in your future after all, hmm?”
“If Mother has anything to say about it.”
“She always does. She approves of the girl, at least. Not the usual shrinking violet and not a gold-digger.”
“No. Olivia is quite unique.”
“And older? I always thought an older girl would do better for you.”
“Yes, amazing how everyone comes to that conclusion after I’ve already found her, isn’t it?”
“Oh, shush. When am I to meet her?”
Nathaniel gratefully accepted a biscuit from his butler, offering it to a suddenly alert Jacob.
“That’s better, hmm little one?”
“Only if you’re not the one who has to carry him all day.”
“Where’s the nanny?”
“Left. He’s gone through four already. I’ve started offering three days off with pay to keep them a little longer. You didn’t answer my question.”
He grinned at her. “No? Well, I expect Mother has already told you.”
“That she won’t marry you? Have you mentioned your sizable fortune?”
“Thank you, Diana. I’m sure that will solve everything.”
She shrugged. “If the girl is over twenty-five, I don’t see what she is waiting for. Perhaps she is simply worried about the business end of marriage.”
“I’m not sure what she’s worried about.”
“Mother says she cried when she refused you.”
“Nearly cried. Was there anything Mother didn’t tell you?”
“She didn’t tell me when I could meet her.”
“I believe she is going to the Mayes affair tonight.”
“Oh, really? What extraordinary good luck.”
“Don’t scare her off, Diana.”
She gave a ladylike snort. “I assume you have not met her sisters. She has five, did you know? They can all hold their own quite well. The eldest came out the same year as I. I had thought her quite the original but each sister seems to surpass the others one way or another. I doubt Miss Olivia Blakesley would even blink at anything I said.”
“Nevertheless, I want her to join the family, not run screaming from it.”
Diana smiled. “She’s not met Mother, then? Perhaps Miss Blakesley is refusing because she is unsure of your sincerity. She’s not met any of your relations, after all.”
Nathaniel wiped biscuit crumbs from his knee and offered another to Jacob. “I fear she will find all too soon that I was showing her my fondest respect by keeping my relations from her.”
“I’ll endeavor not to overwhelm her, but I really don’t think you need to worry. I fully expect Miss Blakesley to be able to hold her own against me or Mother.” She picked Jacob up, preparing to depart, and raised an eyebrow at her brother. “She is, after all, holding her own against you.”
He grimaced, rising and kissing her cheek. “It is my greatest character fault- finding sweet, biddable women utterly boring.”
She laughed. “Then you should be grateful you have none in your life. Till tonight brother, dear.”
Mary burst into Olivia’s room, the bedchamber key dangling from her finger. “A little trick I learned from you.”
Olivia glared at her. “Go away. That door was locked for a reason.”
“Yes, I know. So you could mope about. Oh, poor me. I have been proposed to; the horror of it all. However will I survive!”
“Rot you, Mary. You don’t have Mother harassing you into an unsuitable marriage.”
Mary sat on the bed. “Oh. So you don’t love him then? Forgive us. We all thought you had formed quite the attachment. I suspect he thought it as well.” She watched Olivia intently. “Tell me you don’t love him.”
“I don’t love him. I should have cut it off but he is remarkably persistent.”
“And you are quite the accomplished liar. You should be treading the boards.”
“Must I fall in love with the first gentleman who comes calling?”
“I have never seen you happier. I have never seen a connection between two people as I see with you. It is as if you’ve known each other for years, grew up with each other.” She stood, taking Olivia’s hand. “Olivia. He is who you have been waiting for. Why do you say no?”
She whispered, “I tricked him. He is infatuated only. One day he will wake up and realize his mistake.”