by S.A. Bodeen
Maybe she dreamed of freedom.
Maybe she dreamed of me.
Dr. Emerson’s voice was gentle. “Short of taking her back to TroDyn, no, there’s nothing we can do.”
“Then we have no choice.” I turned. “We take her back.”
She slammed her hand down on the night table. “Absolutely not. I won’t allow it.”
I pointed at her. “I don’t think it’s up to you.”
She laughed. “Are you serious? Who put you in charge?”
“I’m the one who got her out of there. I’m the one who’s taking care of her, and I’m going to keep taking care of her.” I touched Laila’s arm, then took hold and shook it a bit. “Hey. Wake up.”
“She’s had a shock.” Dr. Emerson grabbed my arm, not unkindly. “Let her rest.”
“She’s better off alive than dead.”
“Not always.” Her eyes moved down my scar and back up.
“You’ve got to be kidding me. You think I’d be better off dead than look like this?”
“No, not for a second. But trust me: Her existence was not what you or I would call living.”
“Still.” My hand drifted to Laila’s hair and I let it rest there a bit. She was so beautiful and peaceful. Whatever it meant for her, I couldn’t live with myself if I let her go. I turned back to Dr. Emerson. “Will you tell me how to get her in?”
Her shoulders slumped. “Oh, they’ll open the doors wide when you show up with her. I can only imagine the search they’ve put on.”
I scratched my chin as it dawned on me that someone else would be freaking. Mom would be worried. But then, why hadn’t she called? I pulled my phone out of my pants. I’d forgotten I had turned it off. There were eleven missed calls, all from my mom. I locked myself in the bathroom. She answered on the first ring. “Mason?”
“Yeah.”
Her words were quick and quiet. “Where are you? Are you all right?”
“We’re in Portland.”
“You and Jack? Why aren’t you at the cabin?”
I grimaced. She had no idea about anything that had happened in the less than twenty-four hours since we’d left the Haven. Unless she’d jumped to some conclusions. We did disappear at the same time as one of her charges. “We … had some stuff to do.”
“Oh.” She sounded weary.
“Mom? You okay?”
“I haven’t been drinking, if that’s what you mean.”
“No, it’s not that. You sound tired.”
“I’ve been up all night. There’s trouble at work.”
“Mom … I need to tell you something.” And I told her, everything that had happened up until Powell’s. After that, I just couldn’t go there. “Did you suspect? That Jack and I…”
“I wondered,” she said. “They took the others. After they found out the girl was gone.”
“Back to TroDyn?”
She inhaled sharply, and then said, “Yes.”
“I know what they are. The kids.”
She sighed.
“What’s going on?”
“You need to come home. I’ll tell you everything.”
Everything? “Mom, are you taking money from TroDyn?”
Her answer was quiet. “Yes.”
“Because of me.”
“And I’ve put it all away for you.” She was silent for a moment. “Mason, we can deal with this.”
“The girl, she might be dying. How do we deal with that?”
She was silent. “I’m not sure there’s anything you can do about that.”
“There has to be. Someone at TroDyn will help her.”
She whispered, “I don’t want you there. Promise me.”
“Then tell me where to go, Mom. Tell me where else to go to save her.”
Her answer was immediate. “There is nowhere.”
“Besides TroDyn, you mean.”
“Do not go there.”
“You can’t stop me.” I slapped my phone closed and unlocked the bathroom door.
“How long does she have?” I asked Dr. Emerson.
She laid a hand on Laila’s cheek. “About as long as anyone would have without food or water. Probably less, since she’d been relying on symbiosis rather than direct feeding from the sun.”
“Would sun help?”
She nodded, and then tilted her head toward the window, where the sky was still completely overcast. “Got any?”
“Could we take her to a tanning booth or something?”
“No. The lighting at TroDyn was a true replication of sunlight. Tanning beds have some rays filtered out. It would be like you drinking a glass of milk that had Vitamin D and calcium stripped from it. Nothing you can use. And the sun would be only a temporary fix anyway. Until she’s an adult, she still requires the symbiosis.”
A glimmer of hope planted itself in my gut. “What happens when she’s an adult?”
She scratched her head. “Again, I’m just working off of theory, but the scientists thought that once the kids stopped growing, they might retain their abilities to photosynthesize without needing anyone else. They might be able to live independently. Possibly. Again, it was just theory, not tested.”
“Why didn’t TroDyn just do it all in a sunny climate?”
“They needed to be in complete control, regulate the sunlight perfectly. To turn it on and off as they needed. Even Hawaii has cloudy days. And to be honest, TroDyn has a bottom line just like every other company. They got some tax breaks that wouldn’t happen in Hawaii or California.”
“So how long do we have?”
“Maybe twenty-four hours. All we can do is make sure she’s comfortable.”
To hell with that. I grabbed Laila’s jeans off the couch and pulled back the covers.
Dr. Emerson frowned. “What are you doing?”
“Getting her dressed.”
She asked, “Why?”
“I’m getting her some help.” I picked up Laila’s ankle and started dressing her.
“You can’t!” Dr. Emerson grabbed my arm, and I shoved her off.
“I’m not going to sit here and watch her die when there is someone who can help her.”
Dr. Emerson tried to hold on to my arm again, and I shook her off, hard enough that she landed on her butt. “Sorry. But you’re not stopping me.”
She didn’t even try to get up. “Do you realize what you’re doing?”
I didn’t answer. I knew I was probably making a big mistake. But I felt like I had no choice.
I scooped Laila up in my arms and turned around to face Dr. Emerson. She was standing now, and not making any move to stop me. The Prius keys were on the lamp table by the door, and I picked them up. “I’m borrowing your car.” Not looking back, I walked out, taking the stairs down, managing to get into the Prius without meeting anyone.
Laila lay scrunched across the backseat. Every ounce of my reserve was needed to not just grab her, cradle her, and tell her to hang on until I could fix everything. I’d known her less than a day. What was I thinking?
I called Jack’s cell. He didn’t answer, so I texted. He replied immediately. He was on the way home from the hospital with a cast on his leg, his dislocated shoulder in an official sling. His mother had banned any phone calls. Luckily, Jack was a covert texter.
I texted him an update, ending with telling him I was heading to TroDyn with the girl.
His reply: Have 2 b the hero?
Yup
Gonna end badly
I hit the reply with copy button: Yup
But u dont care
Nope
Hope shes worth it dude
My thumbs were poised over the keys. Then I typed: Me too
Be smart. Cant save everyone. Maybe u cant save her
I can try. Have to!!!!!
I snapped my phone shut and slipped it back into my pocket. Maybe she couldn’t be saved by me. By anyone. But I had to try. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least try.
I started the
car and backed out. Shifting into drive, I was just about to press the pedal when Dr. Emerson appeared in front of the car, blocking my way. When she saw I wasn’t going to move, she walked around to the driver’s side and opened the door. “I’ll drive,” she said.
She saw my hesitation, that I didn’t trust her. She rested a hand on my shoulder. “I don’t agree with this. But I don’t want to see her die either.”
I climbed in the back, my legs stretched out between the bucket seats, and put Laila’s head in my lap as we headed toward Melby Falls.
I couldn’t help but wonder about my mom, her connection to Laila. What was it? There was so much she had known all along and hadn’t told me. She’d known about Laila and the others, what they were. Is that why she couldn’t live with herself? Why she drank herself into a stupor whenever possible? Was she one of the scientists who worked on the project? Was she going to have me, and that’s why she left? She didn’t want me in the project?
My whole life I thought it was me. My scar. Her guilt over not being able to protect me from Packer that day.
Laila’s eyes opened and she locked onto my gaze. “What’s going on?”
I couldn’t bring myself to tell her we were going to TroDyn, so I simply said, “We’re getting you some help.”
The corners of her mouth turned upward and she reached a hand to my face. Her touch was warm, and goose bumps rose on my arms. Her voice was low. “Thank you.” Then her eyes shut, but her hand stayed on my face for another moment before dropping back to her side.
There was no way out until I saw it through. Saw Laila through to whatever end there might be. And the end seemed to be pointing toward TroDyn. Laila rolled over, her arm reaching back, exposing the tattoo on her arm. I lifted it up. “What do you know about this tattoo?”
Dr. Emerson looked in the rearview mirror. “Just an identifier. The Karner Blue butterfly. Do you know about them?”
“Yeah, a little.” I didn’t mention I’d first heard of them only a couple of hours ago.
“You know they’re completely dependent on one plant, the wild lupine?”
I nodded. “They’re losing their habitat.”
She said, “Yes. The tattoo of the Karner Blue is kind of a metaphor. For humans? We depend on food, that’s it. This earth is our lupine. And we’re killing it. One day soon, our habitat will disappear, and our food with it, just like the lupine is disappearing for the Karner Blue.”
“So the tattoos are a reminder?”
She nodded. “That what we were working on, the autotroph project, was in essence making sure we knew how to live without our lupine before it’s all gone.”
“You all have them?”
She shook her head. “No, just the … autotrophs themselves.”
Then why did my dad have a blue butterfly tattoo? Coincidence? A different species—not a Karner Blue? I thought about seeing Laila’s tattoo the first time, right after I’d woken her at the Haven. “Hey.”
Dr. Emerson raised her eyebrows. “Yes?”
“Well, when Laila first spoke to me, at the Haven of Peace, she was scared. She was convinced someone was going to find her.”
A corner of her mouth raised. “She wasn’t wrong.”
“No, I mean a specific person. She said, ‘The Gardener will find me.’”
The corner of Dr. Emerson’s mouth flinched just a little at the name.
“What?” I demanded.
“The Gardener is head of the autotroph project.”
So it hadn’t just been from the book. The Gardener was real. I wanted to know something else. “She was so afraid when she said it. Should Laila be afraid of the Gardener?”
Dr. Emerson looked out the front window, her eyes distant. “We should all be afraid of the Gardener.”
THIRTEEN
WE TRAVELED THE REST OF THE WAY IN SILENCE, AND I WONDERED if the food situation was all that dire. There was so much technology, so much we could create from nothing. Could food really run out? I knew there was hunger, starvation even, in other parts of the world, but Melby Falls seemed so far away from all that. I mean, wasn’t there astronaut food we could all eat or something? By the time food ran out, wouldn’t they have invented a pill to replace food?
When we neared Melby Falls, I sat up taller, feeling my stomach clench. What was going to happen when we got there? The entrance to TroDyn was a half-mile stretch of blacktop lined with large pine trees the entire way. I felt like I was driving up to a private school, or an insane asylum. But just as we rounded the last corner and headed toward a huge gate, a familiar vehicle pulled forward and blocked our way.
Dr. Emerson slammed on the brakes and I held on to Laila.
I leaned over to look out the window, just in time to see my mother striding toward the Prius, arms swinging. Mom grabbed the handle, but the door was locked. She pounded on the window with a fist. “Open the door!”
Dr. Emerson hit the lock switch. I heard a click, and Mom wrenched the door open.
She looked at Laila and me, then her eyes flitted to Dr. Emerson, widening. “You!”
My mouth dropped open as Dr. Emerson stared at my mom. She covered her mouth with a hand and looked at me in the rearview mirror. “That’s your mom?”
I nodded.
She started to get out, but before she could, my mom reached in and slapped her, hard. Then slapped her again before spitting out the words, “How dare you show your face around here?”
The words took a few seconds to form. “You know each other?”
Mom stepped back and motioned for me to get out, while Dr. Emerson seemed content to stay seated. My mom helped me pull Laila out, then I lifted her up and stood, cradling her in my arms. “Somebody want to tell me what’s going on?”
Mom was still glaring at Dr. Emerson, but she said, “It’s complicated.”
“How do you know her?”
Mom’s eyes narrowed. “We worked here, together.”
The air was so tense, I wanted to say something but didn’t know what.
Dr. Emerson looked at my mom. “You kept him in the dark all these years.”
Mom shook her head as she looked at me. “He knows there are things I need to tell him.”
Dr. Emerson stepped out of the car. “We have a bit of a problem, wouldn’t you say?”
My heart pounded. “Mom? What’s she talking about?”
“Don’t.” My mom’s voice shook as she pointed at Dr. Emerson.
Dr. Emerson gestured at the gate. “We’re here and he’s determined to go in. Do you seriously think this is going to happen without his finding out?”
My arms began to tremble under Laila. “Finding out what?”
Just then, an alarm sounded and the gate opened slowly, both sides swinging outward.
Dr. Emerson set a hand on my arm. “You don’t have to do this.”
No matter what I was about to discover, there was no way I was just going to let Laila die. Maybe I would find out her life was worse than death, but I wanted to know for sure before I made a decision like that. And part of me hoped she would perk up, be able to decide for herself. Until then, I was going to do everything to keep her alive. Even if it included seeking help from TroDyn. So I shook my head at Dr. Emerson. “We’re going in.”
She backed toward the Prius as her eyes went toward the gate and the buildings beyond. “I won’t go in there. I can’t.” Getting back in the vehicle, she said, “I’ll wait, though. You won’t like what you find.”
Her words sounded way too certain for me.
Mom stood between me and the gate. “I can call someone to take her in.”
My arms tightened, bringing Laila closer to me. If she were conscious, would she go along with this? Or would she feel I was betraying her by taking her to the one place she wanted to get away from? I asked, “Will they help her? Really?”
“If you’re asking if they’ll keep her from dying, yes.” Mom’s gaze hit the ground and stayed there.
I said, “Th
ere’s a but, isn’t there?”
“But it’s not a great situation.” Her eyes met mine. “Mason, if you go in there, you won’t want her to stay. Even though she has to. Which is why you should just let me get someone to take her. And then we can go.”
Maybe getting out of there was the best option. I could just leave. I already found out I couldn’t help her. I did what I could, but someone else needed to save her. Or maybe there was more to it. Maybe the answers I was seeking lay beyond the gates.
Hitching up Laila in my arms, I headed toward the first building inside the gates. Mom ran up beside me, her hand on my wrist. “Mason, just give her to them. You can’t do any more for her!”
“And why should I listen to you, after everything you’ve kept from me?”
She let go of me and stopped. “Maybe you shouldn’t. But if you go in there, you’ll find out.…” She sighed. “Believe me, your life will become much harder to live.”
I stopped and turned around. “Is that a threat?”
“No.” Her voice was soft and she looked small and sad. “It’s a promise.”
Dr. Emerson called out, “Your mother is right.”
I ignored Dr. Emerson as I said, “Mom, I just need someanswers.” Walking backward, I watched her for a moment, before resuming my approach toward the entrance of TroDyn.
“Wait!” Mom ran up beside me. “I won’t let you do this alone.”
My head nodded back toward where Dr. Emerson waited. “She was afraid to come in. Why aren’t you?”
Mom looked toward the entrance. “I haven’t been here since … for a long time.” She raised her chin. “But I hope Istill have an ally or two.”
The double doors opened, and two people in green hazmat suits stepped out, their faces obscured by hoods with dark glass masks.
Mom grabbed my arm.
I nodded at them. “Hey there.”
They strode toward me, and as I tightened my grip on Laila, I stepped in front of Mom. “I just want to get help forher.”
One of the people reached out for Laila, but I hesitated. What would happen if I handed her over? Would they let me go in, find the answers I was seeking? Or would they kick me out, leaving me even more in the dark than ever, unless my mom decided to tell me everything. But I still wouldn’t know what happened to Laila. Plus, I had the feeling there was more going on than even Mom knew.