Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 5

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Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 5 Page 16

by Fujino Omori


  The group was just about to go their separate ways when she made the suggestion. First she looked toward Aiz and Tione, but also extended the invitation to Hestia and Mikoto’s group.

  “Again—? How many times will it take until you’re satisfied?”

  “What’s the problem? There’s plenty of time. And the water feels amazing.”

  “Besides, wouldn’t the sight of Lady Hestia’s boobs make you go insane?”

  “F-fat chance! W-why would it?!”

  The twins’ comical argument showed no signs of slowing down. Not too far away, Lilly looked up at Hestia.

  “What should we do, Lady Hestia?”

  “Wellll…Of course, I would like to wash up a bit…”

  Hestia looked down at her dirty clothes and less-than-clean skin.

  Of course, her journey to the eighteenth floor made her sweat more than she’d like to admit, and she’d fallen to the ground so much since she’d arrived here that her normally white clothes were now a few shades darker. Even if washing them was a lost cause, she at least wanted her body to feel clean.

  “How about you Mikoto, Chigusa? Want to come bathe with us?”

  “If I am welcome, I would like to…Chigusa?”

  “M-me too…Y-yes.”

  “What about Miss Asfi?”

  “…Lord Hermes.”

  “Ahhh, sure, sure. I’m well-protected here, so you can relax for a while.”

  Lilly looked up at Asfi when she asked. Hermes didn’t even look around when his follower asked him for permission, instead just waving his hand as though he didn’t care one way or the other. “Well then, I shall join you,” said Asfi as she pushed the bridge of her silver glasses higher up her nose.

  “Aiz, too. Let’s go!”

  “Sure…”

  “Invite Leene and the others, too. We’ll take turns as lookouts.”

  Tiona embraced Aiz from behind, smiling brightly. The blond girl nodded and the rest of the women started to move out of the camp.

  Tione went around the camp to invite a few more female members of their battle party to come with them. Being naked and defenseless in a forest where monsters lurked was a very scary idea.

  Tiona led the group out of camp and into the forest, all of the men staying behind.

  “Ta-da, here we are!”

  ““““Whoa…””””

  Hestia, Lilly, Mikoto, and Chigusa responded in unison.

  The first thing they saw when they came into a clearing was a waterfall standing ten meders tall.

  The water came down with enough force to release a fine mist, cooling the air around them. Their skin was covered in small beads of moisture in no time flat.

  Tiona had taken them to an isolated lagoon at the base of the waterfall. It was completely encased by a wall of trees and crystals. The canopy of a large tree covered the lagoon from above. The azure color of the water’s surface sparkled in the afternoon light, reflections dancing on the trees surrounding them. They had found a hidden jewel within the forest.

  “Isn’t this great? Found it myself the other day!”

  “Agreed, this is a very beautiful spot…”

  “Lilly has a question, if you don’t mind, Miss Tione. Where is this water coming from?”

  “It’s different from glacier runoff or melted snow. There’s a special crystal even deeper in the forest that constantly produces pure water. It’s much cleaner than the water outside. You can drink it, no problem.”

  Conversations between Tiona and Mikoto as well as Tione and Lilly filled their companions’ ears as the group made their way toward the water.

  There was no shyness or hesitation among them at this point. They shed armor and clothing while talking as if around the dinner table. Tione’s full, luscious breasts and Tiona’s sleek, slender body emerged. Mikoto and Asfi pulled off their clothing and set it neatly on the ground beside them. Chigusa, blushing from head to toe, was the last to start disrobing.

  As for Aiz…After a series of clicks to detach her armor, she gently grabbed her underclothing. There was a certain pair of eyes on her—Hestia watched closely as Aiz exposed her curvy, yet well-defined feminine form.

  A moment later, the goddess practically threw her garments to the ground.

  “Heh-heh……Looks like I win!”

  “Are we competing, Lady Hestia…?”

  The short goddess puffed out her chest, looking around triumphantly.

  Aiz’s undergarments hung loosely in her grip as she looked down at the extremely confident deity with confusion. Lilly was about to remove her panties when she, too, turned to look at the young goddess with tired eyes.

  “Guess what? These hair bands were a gift from Bell! A present to show his affection!”

  “Lady Hestia, would you mind sharing more of that story…!”

  Lilly drifted closer as Hestia removed the hair bands and held them out for everyone to see. Even Aiz perked up a bit to get a better view.

  All of the girls gathered around, talking excitedly as they took their first steps into the lagoon. Their lookouts stood at the edge of the clearing, ready to protect their friends from anything that came too close.

  “…Now should be good.”

  Lord Hermes nods to himself as he whispers those words.

  “Huh?”

  “Bell, would you join me for a moment?”

  We were just kind of hanging out around the camp, but Lord Hermes came up to me with a serious look on his face.

  He keeps his voice low, as if he’s trying not to be overheard.

  “I’ve been waiting for this chance. No, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that this chance is the reason I’m here…A chance to be alone with you.”

  He’s been waiting for a chance to talk to…me…?

  He must have something very important to talk about. At least that’s what I’m getting from how he’s acting. He’s turned off all of his charms, his orange eyes looking straight ahead without blinking.

  I’ve never seen Lord Hermes like this. I gulp down the air in my throat. I can see Welf and Ouka off on their own in different areas of the camp. They haven’t noticed us.

  Feeling a little uneasy, I slowly nod.

  “Join me,” Lord Hermes says as he starts to move. No one moves to stop us as we leave the camp and enter the forest.

  “…Um, Lord Hermes? Where are we going?”

  I had followed him quietly for a while, but he’s not slowing down. All I can do is direct a question at the back of his head.

  We’re pretty deep into the forest now. There’s no one anywhere near here, so it should be safe for us to talk about anything.

  “…This already looks good,” says Lord Hermes as he stops in front of a tree.

  Its trunk and branches look very strong and sturdy. Lord Hermes suddenly starts climbing it. It looks like he’s done this a few times, to say the least. He uses his long arms and legs to work his way up the trunk.

  “Now, Bell, get up here.” I zoned out there for a second but quickly respond to his call and follow him. Two people climbing a tree in the middle of nowhere—I’m sure this is a very bizarre scene.

  “E-excuse me, Lord Hermes?”

  “Just as I thought. Have a look, Bell. These branches are strong enough to walk on.”

  Just when I thought he was going to tell me what we’re doing here, he grins at me with twinkling eyes.

  I take a look from this high spot in the tree canopy, and sure enough there is a small network of sturdy tree branches that form a hidden path. I’m completely clueless as to why he pointed that out to me, but suddenly he laughs with a “Ho-ho!” and steps out onto the first branch.

  “L-Lord Hermes, didn’t you…want to talk to me about something?!”

  “Talk? I never said anything about talking, my boy.”

  “Wha…?” I start to say, but Lord Hermes pushes aside some leaves and steps onto the branch of another tree. We move through the canopy, the light shifting above us, fi
ltering through the leaves as the branches shift under our weight. This is worse than the tree bridge to Rivira; keeping my balance takes every ounce of concentration.

  “Why are we up here?!” My frustration gets the better of me as I try to keep up with him—he comes to a sudden stop and looks back at me.

  Hermes gives me a very manly grin, then jerks his chin in a certain direction to draw my attention.

  Dossshhhh. I can hear a waterfall.

  “We’ve come this far. You should’ve figured it out by now—We’re peeping.”

  “?!”

  I freeze as my eyes fly open. Lord Hermes takes on an air of providence with his next words.

  “All those girls down there are taking a bath, you know? It’s practically our duty to have a look, don’t you think?”

  “No, I don’t!”

  “No need to shy away, Bell. Seriously, I bet Hestia scrubs your back in the shower every night already.”

  “That has never happened!”

  What is this god saying?!

  “Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!” He’s laughing at me. I don’t think he believes me, either. My face pulses with heat as Lord Hermes turns his back to me and quietly sneaks forward, almost floating down the path of branches. He must know exactly where he’s going because he’s not hesitating at all. I’ve heard of people being desperate, but this is insane!

  The sound of rushing water is on the other side of the wall of leaves by the time I catch up to him.

  “This is wrong—let’s turn back, Lord Hermes! We shouldn’t be here…!”

  “Bell, top-class adventurers will hear us if we make too much noise.”

  He cups his hand over my mouth and points down. My eyes follow straight to—a group of heavily armed female adventurers. They must be keeping an eye on the forest.

  I back away from his hand and look up at him. His smile is absolutely radiant. I’ve never seen a perverted smile look so appealing.

  It could be because of the sound of the waterfall or how wide these leaves are, but it seems that Aiz and the others, including the lookouts, haven’t noticed us yet.

  “Lord Hermes, Lord Hermes, this is bad, they’ll tear us to pieces…!”

  “This is pitiful, Bell. Peeping is a man’s due! Just think of it as you and I are sharing a particularly delicious bottle of wine…Didn’t your grandfather teach you anything?”

  The two of us advance slowly down the branch, whispering to each other, when suddenly a shiver goes down my spine.

  Peeping is…a man’s due?

  I feel like something is waking up inside me. Something from a long time ago, something from when I was a kid. What was it Gramps was trying to teach me back then? My surroundings suddenly don’t matter as my memory kicks into high gear.

  Everything comes out at once, like mist from a black jar—especially when I hear Aiz’s innocent voice coming from below—but I use every fiber of my being to seal that black jar shut.

  “Let me out—!” The words seem to come from behind the seal in my head. If I’d hesitated for a moment, I’m sure I would’ve been overpowered by the wicked urge held within. But my reasoning in the now wins the day. I reach out and put my hand on the shoulder next to me.

  “L-let’s go back, Lord Hermes!”

  I lean forward as if to stand up and start to pull him away from the waterfall.

  “Ah, if you move too much…”

  Just then.

  Crack. The branch beneath us screams out in pain. It starts moving up and down.

  The large branch that has been supporting our weight breaks at its base next to the tree.

  Lord Hermes manages to shift his weight to an adjoining branch, but I’m off balance and on two feet. Whoop—

  I fall straight into the open air.

  “—Daaaaaahhhh!!”

  With nothing to stop me, I fall face-first into the body of water below.

  Splash! The water explodes around me as I make impact.

  “Blugh, glub, glublubb?!”

  Luckily I fell into a relatively deep part. I frantically kick my arms and legs to get back to the surface. My face erupts out of the water and I take many deep breaths.

  Water’s in my lungs, making me panic. I pick a direction and flail my arms and legs in a desperate attempt to reach land. Finally my feet touch the bottom, then my hands.

  Khaa, khaa! After a fit of rough coughing, I finally catch my breath.

  “…Argonaut?”

  My body shivers at the sound of the voice coming from just above my head.

  I stare at my reflection in the light-blue water for a moment before slowly, very slowly lifting my eyes.

  “What, did you want to take a bath, too?”

  “Such a calm face…You’re quite good, aren’t you?”

  U—waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

  The Amazonian twins are right there. Tiona is leaning in toward me with curious eyes while Tione is behind her, running her fingers through her long hair.

  They’re completely naked and not trying to hide anything, their wheat-colored skin completely exposed.

  —Have Amazons no shame?!

  “Wha-wa-wa-wa…?!”

  “Eh? Ehhh…?!”

  “Don’t tell me…Lord Hermes?”

  To my right, a very pink Mikoto stands completely still as Chigusa swiftly hides her body underwater.

  Asfi is next to them. She doesn’t have her glasses on but that doesn’t stop her from looking up into the tree, beams of rage blasting out of her eyes.

  Rustle. The branches around the area I fell from start twitching.

  “Bell, it’s children like you…!”

  “W-what do you think you’re doing, Mr. Bell?!”

  To my left, the goddess has her hair down and her feet on the bottom of the lagoon. Half of her bulging chest is hidden under the waterline as she yells at me with a red face.

  Lilly’s the same way, screaming in a high-pitched voice.

  “…ah.”

  And directly in front of me…

  Aiz is standing with her back to the waterfall, hugging her body to hide her chest. Her cheeks are a light shade of red.

  Water is dripping from her wet golden hair, tracing its way all the way down to her legs.

  I turn a deep red as the image of Aiz’s naked body is burned into my eyes.

  The next moment, my head explodes.

  “S-SOOOOOORRRYYYYYYY!!”

  I launch myself out of the water and race past the lookouts in the blink of an eye, taking off into the forest as fast as I can.

  I charge into the forest with reckless abandon.

  More distance, faster, forward! A big tree stands in the middle of my path so I take a hard right. I cut over to the forest floor, running like a scared rabbit.

  But then I notice something important.

  “I—I’m lost…”

  At long last, the flames burning within me cool enough for me to think straight. I take a look around and see that I don’t recognize anything. The trees and crystals in this area don’t look like the ones close to the campsite; the canopy is thinner and brighter, too.

  Am I in the southern part of the forest? The east? Maybe the southeast?

  I try as hard as I can to remember how the forest looked from the town of Rivira this morning, but I can’t remember any details. I don’t think anyone could remember the layout of an area after only one day.

  I have no clue where I am.

  “Guaaa…”

  “B-bugbear…?!”

  I quickly jump out of sight after catching a glimpse of a bearlike monster sitting at the base of a tree.

  If I remember right…their Strength and Defense are on par with a Minotaur. But what really makes them dangerous is deceptively high Agility that doesn’t match their large body size. First appearing on the nineteenth floor, they corner their prey before tearing it apart. The thought of an agile Minotaur is absolutely terrifying. This particular bugbear must be hungry, or it�
��s found its favorite thing in the world, because it’s completely distracted by the fruit on the lower branches of the tree. It’s got one honey cloud in its massive paw and another in its mouth.

  I clasp my hands over my nose and mouth while trying to get my beating heart under control. Turning my back toward the tree, I slowly shimmy around the trunk and wait for the bear to leave.

  T-this is bad, really bad…!

  An impending sense of danger, being lost in a forest filled with monsters, takes over me.

  Aiz said something earlier today about the adventurers in Rivira regularly culling the monsters on the eighteenth floor to keep their numbers down. Unfortunately, I don’t think they come this far out in the woods—why would they? That means there are more of them out here than closer to town.

  I’m lost and more than likely surrounded by monsters. This is a very, very dangerous situation.

  If I don’t get back to the campsite by “night”…!

  I press forward, my eyes playing tricks on me, making the forest look like an ominous swamp, my ears on high alert.

  Wait…What’s that?

  A different kind of sound sends my mind into a whirlwind.

  This isn’t the quiet murmuring of a stream, but like water being poured out of a glass…Very unnatural.

  I can’t deny that there’s a chance that a monster is making the sound at a nearby pond. In fact, that’s probably it. But I’m hungry and my throat is dry enough to rival a desert. I decide it’s worth the risk and walk toward the sound of the water.

  A pile of logs greets my eyes as I turn a corner. They’re blocking the area between two trees on the ground, but I can climb up and over them. Keeping an eye on my footing to avoid the clumps of moss, I work my way to the top and through the opening, toward the source of the noise. Kaw, kaw! Two bird monsters fly off in the distance.

  The foliage around me becomes thicker, the path darker. But before long, everything around me starts taking on a light-blue hue.

  The trees stand like vertical columns, crystals shining beneath my feet as if guiding me forward…

  “—”

  The forest opens to reveal a small pond.

 

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