“What made you think that?”
“You did. When I asked you what was keeping you from me, you didn’t mention him. You didn’t mention him when I asked you out, and you didn’t stop him from leaving just now. You know he would have stayed if you’d asked.” He was right, but didn’t want to think about it.
“Did you…plan this?” My voice trembled, not knowing how that would have been possible.
“I had no idea David would be here. I’d just gotten out of my car when he pulled up, and then you came out. As for the rest of it, I figured I’d take a shot at getting rid of him myself.”
I looked down at my hands, still in his. “Why are you here?”
“I think that if you spend a little time with me, you’ll see me differently. I’m not all stunts and schemes. I really am a nice guy and I would be good to you, Annie.” I smiled a tiny smile at the ground.
“Just try. Get to know me. It’s all I’m asking.” Ryan tilted my chin so our eyes could meet. “Come out with me tonight.” His eyes seemed to penetrate my soul, wholly convincing me to accept.
“Okay,” I whispered. A striking smile spread across his face for me, warming my insides.
“Can I come back for you in an hour?” Ryan asked.
I agreed and ran inside after he’d driven away. I frantically dialed Lindsay’s number. “I’m doing it,” I declared. “I’m going out with Ryan tonight.”
“Ohhh, lucky girl. You get to be alone with Ryan Mullins…in the dark,” she giggled mischievously. “Believe me when I say that I’ve never wanted to be anyone else before, but I so wish I were you right now,” Lindsay groaned.
I hadn’t thought of that, Ryan, and me and the darkness. I couldn’t be alone with him tonight. Not yet. My thoughts ran wild; I started to panic.
“Annie. Hello? Did you faint or whatever?”
“I’m here,” I said, and then it hit me as she blabbed about how lucky I was again. I knew exactly what I had to do.
11
I was already nervous, so when the doorbell rang I nearly jumped out of my skin. I yanked Lindsey’s arm, dragging her with me.
“Chill, Annie. Damn. You’re so freaked out,” she complained. I ignored her, pulling the door open.
“Ryan, hi.” I forced my composure. He smiled excitedly at me, and then looked to Lindsey, whom I had plastered myself against. Ryan’s smile slowly disappeared, along with his excitement.
“This is Lindsey,” I gulped. Ryan returned his eyes to me. “Is it okay if she comes with us?” I asked sweetly. He looked at her again. She struck a quick pose, jutting out her hip and planting her hand on it. She flipped the other hand behind her head while flashing an absurd smile as if advertising what a fun time we’d have if she were allowed to tag along.
“Uh…um…okay…if you want.”
I was sure he thought I was nuts and didn’t like the idea of Lindsay coming with us. I think he may have been a little staggered by her appearance. She was wearing a blue and black plaid skirt, black tights, black knee high lace up boots, and a blue-ruffed short-sleeved shirt under a black leather jacket. Her hair was in Princess Lea style buns on the sides of her head with blue streaks hanging down in front, framing her face. She had an Opal stud in one of her nostrils. A new addition since I’d last seen her.
“Good,” I smiled, and then glanced at Lindsey who was wildly gawking at Ryan, as if he was Jerry and she was Tom. I elbowed her in the side, warning her to knock it off.
The three of us awkwardly walked to Ryan’s car. He opened the back door. “Lindsay.” He gestured toward the back seat. “Thank you,” she breathed and slid by him almost inappropriately. The wild look entered her eyes again as she settled herself in the center of the ivory leather bench.
Ryan opened my door as well. I took a few deep breaths, all containing the scent of his cologne that lingered in the interior of the car.
“Dammit! He smells good,” Lindsay whispered.
“I know,” I agreed. “I see that you didn’t melt,” I teased.
“Not visibly,” she said out of the side of her mouth. We giggled and quickly composed ourselves before Ryan got in the car. I knew what she meant. Sometimes when Ryan was near me, I felt like my insides were slippery.
I was relieved to have Lindsey with me, but I wasn’t entirely sure she wasn’t planning to knock me out and make a move of her own.
“I hope you don’t mind being with a few of my friends tonight,” Ryan said coolly, keeping his eyes on the road.
“I don’t mind.”
“I have a friend who goes to Harmon, his girlfriend left him. She moved out and took almost everything last night so he’s a little down. A few of us thought he shouldn’t be alone tonight.”
“Sure. Right,” I agreed. How fun. Entertaining some guy who’d just been dumped on our first date.
Ryan’s friend Shawn lived in a townhouse off campus. Ryan doubled over with laughter when Shawn let us in and he took in the vandalized room. She’d cleaned him out. There were deep impressions in the carpeting confirming the missing furniture had once been there.
“Don’t do that to me, man,” Shawn pleaded. “It’s bad enough without you rubbing it in.” They slapped hands, still laughing.
Lindsay pushed her way past Ryan and me and made herself at home, plopping down on the only remaining item in the room, a ragged bean bag chair.
“I’m Lindsay,” she announced, forcefully staring at Shawn as she smacked leisurely on a piece of grape bubble gum.
“Uh, hey…I’m Shawn.”
Ryan quickly introduced me. Shawn said hi, but was concentrating on Lindsay and didn’t even look in my direction. As if hypnotized, Shawn sat down next to Lindsay. They began talking as if they were the only two people in the world.
Ryan guided me through the kitchen and out to the back deck. I recognized a few guys from school sitting in plastic patio chairs playing cards. They were using a beer cooler as a table.
One of them shouted, “go fish.” They yelled and howled like idiots, and then the silver cans on their makeshift table were turned up and adhered to their lips. I laughed at the absurd game. It wouldn’t last long at the pace they were playing—killing a beer every time one of them had to go fish.
After a while, I went to check on Lindsay. I was creeping through the kitchen unsure of what I might be in for when Shawn’s outburst of wild laughter startled me so that I jumped and unintentionally made myself known.
I almost broke out laughing when I saw them. Lindsay and Shawn were on their bellies, their elbows resting on opposite ends of a yellow pages book, with their hands cupped together.
“Arm wrestling?” I snorted.
“It’s pretty funny to watch,” Shawn confided. “She’s deceiving. This harmless looking girl morphs into the Incredible Hulk on contact.” I thought it was odd that Shawn thought of Lindsay as harmless looking, but I could tell that she loved the compliment.
I felt Ryan’s hand on the small of my back, then his breath in my ear. “Are you ready to go?”
I nodded.
“We’re going to get something to eat. You wanna come, Lindsey?” he asked. I hoped she would say no.
“Can you come back for me?” she asked sheepishly.
Shawn offered to get her home safely if she preferred, and of course, she did. I made her promise to check in with me later even though Ryan assured me that Lindsay would be safe with Shawn.
Ryan and I decided on an Italian place and sat in a booth with a red and white checked tablecloth and candlelight. We shared an Italian sausage pizza and talked. I was surprised by easy it was to keep a conversation going with him.
I learned that Ryan was also an only child. His parents were still married, although he was sure they didn’t like each other anymore. His mother mostly socialized and his father was an attorney. He started playing baseball when he was five. He lit up when he talked about it, which made me smile.
After dinner, Ryan drove me home and as he walked me to my
front door, awkwardness and nerves set in. I convinced my brain to quiet down and not freak out over whether or not he was going to kiss me. I didn’t think I was ready for that yet, although I hadn’t expected him to be so sweet.
“Thank you,” I muttered. “Tonight was nice. I had fun.” I smiled, nervously cutting my eyes away from his.
“Can I see you again?” I wasn’t expecting that and found myself speechless, so I nodded yes.
“Is tomorrow too soon?” I smiled too big and shook my head no.
“Looks like you’re all talked out,” Ryan teased. “I’ll be here around eleven.” I smiled at him, keeping the ruse going. It made him smile, too.
Once he was in the yard, I heard my name and turned around. “Put that hair up and bring your bat.” He pointed at me as if calling me out for a competition. I laughed to myself. “You got it.”
12
I was sitting on the porch when Ryan drove up. My bat across my lap, my hair in a ponytail as requested.
He held his arms out, smiling. “No reinforcements today?”
“Guess not, since my reinforcement is still with your broken hearted friend Shawn,” I playfully narrowed my eyes. Lindsay had called me about one o’clock that morning to inform me that she was in love and would be otherwise occupied until further notice.
“That did work out well for me, didn’t it?” Ryan smiled again, standing in front of me now. He pushed his sunglasses up on his head and leaned in very close to me, his eyes catching mine, holding them as I felt my insides begin to slide again, and then he smiled a little seeming amused by something.
“Are you sure you can handle being alone with me?” he asked in a velvety tone, absolutely aware of the power encompassed in his gaze. I quickly yanked my eyes out of his possession and straightened my caving self-control. “Or is there someone else you want to pick up on the way?”
Do not look into his eyes, I told myself. I took in a quick breath and tilted my head, giving him a crooked smile. “I do have a bat, so I think I’m good.” I pushed myself from the steps and breezed past Ryan toward his car. He followed me, chuckling.
Ryan drove us to the outdoor batting cages at Lehman Park. The weather was perfect. The sun was out, but it wasn’t hot. There was a slight breeze blowing, forcing the new spring life to move around us, disbursing the sweet scent of the cherry blossoms scattered throughout the park.
Ryan set up the pitching machine for me. I set my feet and pulled my bat back, ready for the pitch to come down. It lobbed out of the machine with so little momentum that it fell about six feet short. He laughed hysterically. I didn’t want that Ryan around. I frowned at him as he passed me to correct the machine’s speed.
I whacked a few to the back of the cage, into the net.
“You’re good,” Ryan complimented.
“It’s not fast enough,” I informed him without breaking my concentration, or looking at him.
“You’re not at all competitive are you, love?” he asked as he readjusted the machine.
The word threw me, even though it was just a saying. The sound of that word coming from his mouth intended for me caused excitement to scream through me.
“That should do it.” He winked at me and smiled that devious little smile of his as he crossed back in front of me, and then it dawned on me. He’d said that word on purpose to scramble my concentration. He was intentionally trying to distract me.
“You’re not either, are you, love?” I said smugly. Ryan stopped in his tracks, laughing gruffly. “You’re a quick study, Reynolds.” He smiled again displaying his perfect teeth. Yeah, but what he didn’t know was that he actually had me for a second.
When it was Ryan’s turn to hit, I watched him in awe. He was physically perfect, and had a charming sense of humor, which I liked, even when it annoyed me. He was fun and had been so easy to talk to. He was interesting and smart. He wasn’t some dumb jock with a shiny candy wrapper outside and disgusting nougat inside. He was more than that and I enjoyed being with him more than I thought I would. At that moment, as I sat appreciating Ryan, he seemed more like a fantastic dream I was having than my reality.
For lunch, we went to a Mexican place Ryan liked. We sat outside. It was too nice for either of us to want to be indoors. He kept looking at me strangely, like he wanted to say something, but didn’t quite know how. What made it worse for me was the giant smile on his face.
“What? Do I have salsa on my mouth or something?”
“No.”
“Are you going to share what you find so amusing?”
“I was just thinking about something.”
“Okay….”
Still, he said nothing.
“Are you trying to torture me?” I finally asked.
“No.”
“Please tell me what it is. I’m becoming unbelievably self conscious.”
Ryan leaned toward me. “Okay,” his green eyes danced with enthusiasm. “It was driving me crazy watching you that day in the gym.”
“I was driving you crazy?” I questioned, doubtful.
“The shorts.” He raised an eyebrow.
“My shorts?” I gasped.
“And the socks,” he gestured toward them. “I love the socks.” A guilty smile budded on his face.
“Are you making fun of me?” Embarrassment ignited a rush of blood to paint my cheeks deep red.
“No.” His panicked eyes plead with mine.
I loved to wear colorful cotton shorts, the seventies reproduction with wide, white piping around them. Kristy once commented that they were skimpy and I looked like a hooker, although I’d never heard of a hooker wearing casual athletic shorts before.
They were a little short, I guess, but they weren’t skimpy. They were comfortable to practice in. I also wore socks pulled almost to my knees with stripes circling the top and low top Chuck Taylor’s when I wasn’t in cleats.
I huffed at Ryan, shaking my head, a hard edge to my voice. “So, is that why I’m here? Because you like my shorts?”
I suddenly felt stupid, like I’d fallen into his trap. The one Justin warned me about. I had just been thinking all of these wonderful things about Ryan and now the jerk was resurfacing.
“No, I—” he began. I cut him off. “I’m not like those girls,” I uttered the words, feeling sadness swiping at my joy, attempting to snatch it all away. I had hoped that wasn’t all Ryan was after.
“I know you’re not like that and your shorts aren’t the reason I asked you out. I didn’t mean for it to sound that way,” he paused. “That was a really stupid thing to say,” he mumbled, scolding himself.
Ryan leaned down, encouraging me to look at him. “I hope that’s not what you really think.” He shook his head, taking a deep breath and releasing it, and then he told me something, as if his conscious was nagging him to.
“It’s not why I asked you out. I’ll admit it’s what first grabbed my attention, but it’s not what kept it.”
“So, what kept it, then?”
“You’re really good. Once I got past the shorts and how you look in them I started to watch you—the rest of you. You were so focused, like no one else was around.”
That’s what he thought. I had been fully aware he was watching.
“I can relate to having to be focused, which made me curious, so I began finding out more about you, mostly by observing.” He grinned at me. I wanted to laugh. Stalking would have better described his observing me.
Ryan silently gazed at me. I finally allowed myself to push aside my aggravation and look back at him. I could have drowned in his green eyes peeking at me from beneath his dark lashes. Once he had me, his lips curved into a sweet smile.
“You’re not upset with me, are you?” he whispered.
“That’s not fair,” I mumbled.
“What?” he asked, leaning toward me, eyes smoldering.
“That—the way you’re looking at me. It’s not fair.”
Ryan’s smile widened, turning into laughter.
“Is it working?” It was working and he knew it. I rolled my eyes. He laughed again. “You believe me, don’t you?” he asked seriously.
“It’s sort of hard when you’re cracking yourself up over there.”
“Okay then, let me ask you a question. What was the first thing you thought when you saw me that day?”
My mind flashed back to when I’d bumped into Ryan, and my first impression of him. I remembered thinking I’d never seen anyone so attractive. Then I realized he had me, because I had also thought about how good he looked in his uniform. I smashed my lips together, but couldn’t keep it in. I had to laugh. “I’m not telling you that.”
“Why not?”
“Because.”
“Because you thought I was hot. I thought the same thing about you. And you know why?” He didn’t let me answer. “Because physical appearance was all we had to go on. Our first impression of each other was based on looks because it had to be.”
“Okay, yeah I thought you were hot, but then you opened your mouth,” I sang, cutting my eyes away.
“Fair enough. But what do you think now?”
“You’re different than I thought you would be.”
“I told you,” he shined proudly. I smirked, trying to disguise a smile. “What was with the act then?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ryan grinned mischievously.
“The theatrics.” I waved jazz hands in the air.
“Believe it or not, most girls go crazy for that kind of thing.”
“No they don’t.” My comment sounded more like a question. I think it may have been a question.
“Yeah they do, too. They expect it from a guy like me because of the baseball fame and the money thing. I’d have a better chance of getting a girl by being an egotistical ass than by being like this. For some reason they eat that stuff up.”
“No way,” I protested, shaking my head.
“Most girls don’t want a nice guy, Annie. If they did, there wouldn’t be one single guy in the math club right now.” He paused, giving me time to process. I didn’t know what to say. Judging his track record in comparison with the math clubs’, he was right. I shrugged.
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