“I’ll go as slow as you want,” Ryan whispered as he tucked me into the car. I sighed when he closed my door and then a drunken smile warped my mouth into a peculiar shape. I sighed again as I realized it was now cemented. I was falling for Ryan Mullins. I think, truthfully, I had been since the first time I saw him, but now I felt my once tense fingers relaxing. I was losing my grip, beginning my descent. I just hoped that I didn’t get buried in the process.
I went straight to Lindsay’s after Ryan dropped me off, my head still floating in the clouds. “He kissed me.” I whirled past her when she opened the door. She got a wily look in her eyes. “Finally,” she complained. “How was it?”
I smiled dreamily. “Perfect. Better than I think even you could have imagined, and I know you have a very vivid imagination when it comes to this sort of thing.”
“Did he give you too much tongue, because I’ve always wondered if he kissed like an ox?” An ox! Was she serious? “Because sometimes when a guy is blistering hot and you think he’s perfect, he tries to choke you with his tongue, or he doesn’t know what to do with his hands when you’re making out, or is oblivious in the bedr—” “You know I don’t know about that one and there was no tongue,” I interrupted.
Lindsay looked at me as if someone had dragged a needle across a record, making that horrible scratching sound, bringing everything to a complete stop, and then I think I actually heard crickets chirping.
“No tongue!” she shrieked. “What are you? Still in kindergarten?”
“No,” I snapped. I hoped she wasn’t kissing with tongue in kindergarten, but knowing her, it was possible.
“I have to go meet Shawn, but please let me know when you two have your first grown up kiss.”
My joy plummeted, but only for a second. Once I was outside I began floating again, forgetting Lindsay’s dismal view of my sweet encounter.
14
Even though I had practice, and he had a game, Ryan wanted to pick me up for school. I didn’t argue. He held my hand as we walked into the building, setting the frenzy into motion.
I wasn’t looking forward to the coming days and the rumors that would be spread about me out of jealousy. For the moment, it was easy to ignore the flurry of attention because I was with Ryan. He was proving to be particularly distracting for me.
He walked me to my locker and kissed me before telling me to have a good day. I wished him luck in his game and once he was gone, I noticed a few girls glaring as if they wanted to pull my hair out. I just smiled. I was too happy to worry about them just yet.
The day crawled by. I was dying to get outside, away from the gossip echoing throughout the junior hallways, hoping it hadn’t made its way to Justin in the senior pod. I knew I needed to tell him I was seeing Ryan before someone else did. I just wasn’t looking forward to it.
After I’d changed for softball practice, I learned that Coach Pratt had gone home sick. I was excited that I’d get to see Ryan play, hurriedly crammed my school clothes into my bag, shoved it back into my locker, and exited the gym.
A few of the boys were already warming up as I crossed the street to the baseball field. Ryan was one of them. He was just as amazing looking in his uniform as I’d remembered. He motioned for me to come to the fence. I checked for Justin. Luckily, he wasn’t around.
“Nice shorts,” Ryan moaned.
“I didn’t wear them on purpose. I’d already changed when I heard practice was cancelled.”
“There’s a scout here to see me today. If I don’t perform well, it’ll be on you. And your shorts.”
I laughed. “I have a feeling you’ll be fine.”
“I’m really glad you’re here,” Ryan said. I bit my bottom lip to keep from smiling too big. “I’ll see you after.”
I turned to find a good seat in the bleachers before they were all gone and noticed Ryan’s dad standing near the announcer’s box. I forced my smile back down to normal size and went to say hello.
“Annie. It’s nice to see you again,” John said.
“You too,” I smiled. “I’ve never seen him play before.”
“Ryan said you have conflicting schedules, but that he was able to see you play once. Said you were really good—threw a shutout.” I had almost forgotten about that.
“You and Ryan must be close,” I presumed.
“We are. I’m proud of him and lately he seems to have calmed down quite a bit. I guess I have you to thank for that.”
“Me?”
“Yes you.” He smiled at the surprise on my face.
“I didn’t realize…” I trailed off, a little embarrassed.
“Relax, Annie. This is a good thing.” I looked back at Ryan on the field and had to agree with him.
I was abruptly yanked from my daydream when Eve came into focus. She was headed toward the bleachers. I didn’t want her to see me with Ryan’s father so I excused myself and caught up with her. I hadn’t ever talked to Eve without Justin before so I wasn’t sure how it would go. “Do you know if Pam and Larry are coming?” I figured it would be easier if one of them were around.
“Larry had a meeting and Pam’s shorthanded at the store. She’s been really busy, you know—prom season.”
I took that as a hint to ask about her dress, which she described in great detail. It seemed Eve didn’t need a buffer at all. She blabbed all about her and Justin. At first, I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear about her happiness since I felt it had come at my expense. There was little room for me in Justin’s life now that she was in the picture.
But listening to her talk about him made me smile. I understood her excitement because I felt the same way when I’d seen Ryan standing there today. It was like I couldn’t get to him fast enough.
Prom was being held in March this year due to a scheduling conflict at the Millennium Hotel. The prom committee decided to have it a month early rather than choose another location. That one was supposed to be perfect. And since Kristy Prince was head of the prom committee, she was absolutely going to have her way.
For the first time, I wondered if Ryan might ask me to prom. Because it was in four days, I knew the possibility was slim.
“Do you have your dress yet?” Eve asked.
“Me?” I questioned.
“Yeah, aren’t you and David going to prom?” I forgot I hadn’t told Justin that David and I were over, but I also hadn’t gotten to talk to him for more than a few minutes since it happened.
“Um…no we’re not going.” I didn’t want to tell her any more than that, but…. “Why not?” she gasped, like she couldn’t believe I would choose to skip out on prom.
“Because David and I broke up.” I hoped that news wouldn’t change her feelings about me being around Justin, not that I got much of an opportunity anymore.
“Oh—well I’m sorry.” She seemed to get a little uncomfortable. I imagined she was worried about how my breakup would affect her.
“It’s okay. It was time,” I said simply, ending that portion of our conversation. I hoped she didn’t think I would be trying to force myself on Justin now that I was single. What I couldn’t tell her was that I would be working harder than ever to avoid Justin, until I found a way to tell him I was dating Ryan.
I turned my attention to the field where the game’s announcer had begun player introductions. Our boys took the field first. They appeared and ran to their positions as their names were called. The outfield was first. Then it dawned on me that I had no idea what position Ryan played. I rewound our conversations in my head. There was nothing about baseball, except the stuff about the scholarships, and how old he was when he started playing.
“So, Justin told me Ryan Mullins is some kind of superstar. What position does he play?” I asked Eve.
“He’s a pitcher.”
“Pitcher?” I asked, stunned.
“Yeah, he’s really good, too. He has a ninety mile an hour fastball.” My mouth fell open. “Ninety.”
“Well, it’s actually like nin
ety-eight, but that’s what they call it.”
“Wow.”
“He’s been known to throw as fast as one-o-three, but he doesn’t do it often.”
“Have you seen him do it?”
“Once, when they played in Florence. It was all over the papers. I’m surprised you didn’t see it.” I frowned. I didn’t read the newspaper. “I think channel 5 even interviewed him for the ten o’clock news after that game,” she added. I didn’t exactly watch the ten o’clock news, either. I was usually asleep by then.
When the first batter stepped to the plate, I noticed three men standing along the fence behind him, each of them held a radar gun. Then I noticed a fourth man with a clipboard waiting to record the results. I realized Ryan’s pitching was serious business. Anticipating seeing him throw was maddening.
The first pitch Ryan threw was a fastball. A low gasp and murmuring rose from the visitor’s stands. A chill flew up my spine. The speed on that ball was amazing. I’d never seen a live person throw that fast before. The batter seemed a little stunned, too. He hadn’t swung. Maybe because he didn’t have time.
Ryan followed up with a slider and the final pitch was a fastball on the inside corner, striking the batter out. He finished off the second batter in the same manner, and the third with two fastballs and a screwball, because the batter was left handed. It’s thrown to lefties in place of a curve ball.
It was all so neat and quick, stunning actually. He’d only thrown nine pitches—nine strikes. I knew now what he’d meant when he told me he understood having to be focused.
The men behind the fence shook their heads and adjusted their hats, nodding to one another while comparing their numbers. One of the men had broken into a full sweat and was dabbing at his forehead with a handkerchief.
The voice in the press box declared that Ryan’s top speed was one hundred miles per hour. Hurst fans erupted with cheers. No wonder he was being handed scholarship offers one after the next.
I peeked over at John hoping to make quick eye contact, but he was talking with a man wearing a Blackman University cap. He must have been the scout Ryan said would be here.
Ryan pitched through the third inning and again had only thrown nine pitches in each. Someone else came in after that, I imagined so the others would have a chance to play—maybe field a hit.
Ryan was so focused while he played. He kept his eyes committed only to what was happening on the field, until he left it for the final time. He glanced over to smile at me. I thought my heart would stop.
I couldn’t get too excited and make Eve suspicious. I didn’t want her to figure out that I had a thing for Ryan and then narc on me to Justin. That would really make me look bad, if his girlfriend revealed that I, his best friend, had purposely kept something from him.
I hadn’t missed all the girls hanging around. Like Justin told me, there were a lot of them, giggling, and whispering about Ryan. I concentrated on him instead, doing my best to ignore them, reminding myself that I was the girl he was leaving with.
After the game, Eve and I went straight to Justin while Ryan went to speak to his dad and the four men who surrounded him. Blackman, Harmon, Wexford, and Martin Universities were represented. I figured Ryan would be busy with them long enough for me to see Justin off, so he wouldn’t know I was leaving with Ryan.
Procrastination seemed to be my plan when it came to telling Justin about Ryan and me, which was no plan at all, really.
I smiled when Eve wound herself around Justin like a snake.
“We’re going to my house for dinner. You should come. Pam misses you,” he encouraged.
I was glad somebody in that house missed me.
I missed her, too. Pam was like a mother to me and I hadn’t ever gone this long without seeing her, but Justin hadn’t ever spent so much time with a girlfriend before, either. I didn’t like hanging around Eve and Justin when they were together. I felt like I couldn’t be myself with him in front of her. That she might mistake our normal behaviors for flirting or see it as inappropriate.
I told Justin I already had plans, which instantly put a smile on Eve’s face. I did have plans. I just left out the details.
He and Eve were about to go when Ryan came up behind me and reached out to slap hands with Justin. Then he kissed the top of my head and rested an arm around my shoulders. “I’m really glad you were here today,” he whispered to me.
My eyes instantly fell to the ground. I had a horrible feeling wash over me, like I had just been caught in a lie, although technically I hadn’t lied. I had just omitted the part that would get me in trouble. I knew Justin would be upset and I didn’t want to look him in the eye.
“See ya Reynolds,” he said sharply. “Ryan, later man.” I decided not to tell Ryan that Justin didn’t want me dating him.
I forced Justin’s anger out of my mind and put a smile on for Ryan. He slid his arms around my waist, smiling blissfully at me. It seemed to make everything okay.
“You are…” I was looking for the right words, gazing at him. “Amazing. I can’t believe I didn’t know you’re a pitcher.”
“Don’t you read the papers, Reynolds? I’m kind of a big deal,” he laughed.
“I think you’re right.” I nodded toward the group of men still standing with John.
“Did I tell you that I’m really glad you were here?”
“You did.” I smiled. That made the third time. “I’m glad I was here, too. You’ve seriously been holding out on me.”
“It was for your own good, Reynolds,” he scolded, and then smiled like a little kid who’d just broken a window, but was too cute for anyone to want to punish.
“I had an interesting talk with John before the game.”
“You did?” Ryan asked, a knowing edge to his tone.
“Yeah, and I think he likes me.”
“I know he likes you,” he moaned, “Now let’s get outta here.”
Ryan took me to eat and I stared at him the whole time. He was still in his uniform and looking at him made me euphoric. I couldn’t help it. Even watching him do the most mundane things was engrossing for me, especially when he was dressed like that.
When we got to my house, he got out of the car with me. “I want to talk to you about something. About prom, actually.” He sounded anxious, which didn’t seem too promising. “Please listen to everything I say before you react, okay?” Now I was petrified. “Okay.”
Ryan released these words entangled in an apprehensive breath, “I’m going with someone else.” He scrunched up his face awaiting my wrath, I imagined. I guess he figured I wouldn’t be able to keep my word. I was confused and disappointed, but remained silent, so he continued. “It was decided before you and me…I wish I could take you. I hope you know that I’d rather go with you. My mom arranged for me to go with one of the girls from Brighton.”
Brighton is a private school.
“When I agreed, I didn’t have any idea that you and I would be…” he trailed off, smiling at the thought of whatever we were. So did I.
“I don’t want you to be upset,” his tone pleading, his eyes anxious. It was too late for that. I didn’t want him going anywhere with another girl. “If you want, you could go with someone else, Justin, maybe?” he offered. Then I wondered if he’d been under a rock—socially speaking.
“Justin has a girlfriend, who is also his date.”
“I know. I guess I thought you might want to go with them.” I laughed out loud. “I’m not crashing her night.” I wouldn’t dare.
“I guess it was a desperate idea.” Ryan shrugged.
“I wouldn’t want to go with anyone other than you,” I murmured. He groaned. “I don’t want to go with anyone else either, but I can’t cancel on this poor girl four days before.” I understood. I wouldn’t have wanted that done to me, either.
“It won’t be any fun at all. More like torture. I’ll be missing you all night.” Ryan reached for me. I snuggled into his chest and he closed his arms around
me. “I’ll make it up to you,” he promised. “We’ll do anything you want on Sunday.” I decided the day after was better than nothing at all and agreed.
He quickly kissed me bye and I went inside. Still bummed, I threw myself across my bed and sighed. Then I heard a buzzing noise. My whole body tensed. I had been so excited about getting to see Ryan that morning that I had forgotten my phone, which was vibrating in circles, rattling against my nightstand. I knew who it was before I saw the number on the call screen.
I quietly answered.
“What the hell are you doing!” He sounded so angry. Justin never yelled at me before, which only made me feel worse. “I told you I didn’t want you getting mixed up with him.”
“I know.”
“Is that it? I know.”
“I don’t want to fight with you about this. I feel bad enough already.”
“You should! You dumped David, who was good to you, for a guy who just wants to get in your pants.”
“You don’t know that. I’ve been out with him three times and he hasn’t really kissed me yet.”
Justin was silent for a moment. I wondered if he was deciding he could be wrong about Ryan. I doubted it.
“I’m not looking for a fight either, Annie. I just wish you’d listened to me. I don’t want you to get screwed over.” Justin took in a deep breath and released it. “It’s what he does.”
“It doesn’t feel like that’s what’s happening,” I whispered.
“It’s not supposed to,” he countered, insistent.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you won’t see him anymore,” he demanded.
“I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s too late,” I murmured, starting to cry, something he must have realized.
“Just be careful,” he finally said.
“I’m sorry.” I was sobbing before he hung up.
Justin had done his job warning me about what he thought I should expect next. I desperately hoped he was wrong. I certainly didn’t want Justin to be angry with me, but I needed to make my own choices. To do what I thought was best for me.
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