Dear Annie,
I think you’re really neat and nice and fun and funny and soooo pretty. Your hair smells like flowers and I really love it when you smile. I love kissing you and holding hands with you. I love being with you…a lot, so much that I only want to be with you. Will you be my girlfriend?
Yes___ No___ Maybe___ Never___
Please say yes,
Ryan
I smiled, almost laughing, adoring the way he’d asked me. It was perfect. “Yes,” I answered, gazing into his eager eyes. “I would really love to be your girlfriend,” I confirmed blissfully. “Thank you for this.” I motioned toward the note.
“You’re welcome,” he smiled, and gently kissed me again. Then he chuckled. “So what do we do now? Go get matching t-shirts or something?”
My eyes widened. “No, we don’t.” I shook my head affirming my answer. “Darn it.” He snapped his fingers and scrunched up his face with fake disappointment. “I was really hoping to have our initials airbrushed on a grossly overpriced, low quality t-shirt to show the world that you’re officially mine.”
“Sorry.”
“How about I take you to dinner instead?”
“Dinner sounds good.” I smiled at him. He looked so mischievous, like the boy inside of him who’d written me the note.
“C’mon, girlfriend, let’s go,” he said, grabbing my hand.
I laughed. “Are you going to be like this all night?”
“Probably,” he grinned, a wily look in his eye. I laughed again, absolutely hoping so.
22
When I drove up, Ryan was standing outside with John and Valerie. He couldn’t pick me up because we’d cut ourselves short on time earlier. We’d gone to a baseball game at Harmon and he had to pick up his suit after he dropped me at home.
I smiled when I saw him. I couldn’t believe how good he looked, or that he was mine. My boyfriend. Officially.
As soon as I stepped out of my car, Valerie yanked my attention away from Ryan by making a snide comment about my shoes being from last season and asking if my car was going to leak something on her driveway. And then the usual happened, Ryan scolded her, I bit my tongue, John smiled at me, said something nice, and began nudging Valerie away from us.
As they turned to leave, Valerie hesitated a moment, glaring at me before walking away with John. I knew she’d glimpsed my exposed earring, which made having to tolerate her nasty comments worth it. I had put one side of my hair up with a barrette for the sole purpose of allowing that bitch to get an eyeful of my gift from her son. I knew it would infuriate her that he’d given me something so expensive. I also knew it would put the ball back in her court, but it was her turn to be nauseated for a while.
Ryan and I drove to the signing ceremony in his new ninety-thousand dollar Mercedes that his parents had given him as a gift for his achievement—receiving a full athletic scholarship to Harmon University, his school of choice.
Ryan was dragged away by Harmon’s athletic director the minute we arrived, which left me awkwardly standing by myself, until I spotted Pam and Larry. She kissed my cheek and I complimented them on how nice they looked. Pam had fantastic taste and Larry had the good sense to wear what she’d chosen for him.
Because Ryan had to wear a suit, I dressed up too. I wore a simple dress. Black, knee length, sleeveless, with a scoop neck and a sapphire blue sash around the waist tied in a bow. Pam called it a “must have.” She was right about that, and the shoes, which she let me borrow. I knew if I relayed Valerie’s comment about them that Pam would have gotten a kick out of it, but decided to keep it to myself.
I hugged Justin when he appeared and congratulated him on his choice of school. More than anything, I was really just happy to have a moment alone with him before Eve sniffed us out. He’d passed up Harmon to go to Martin, which was four hours away. It was also where Eve was going. It confirmed that their relationship was getting serious, which made me a little sad.
“I told you, you could take her,” Justin laughed. I rolled my eyes. He was talking about my fight with Kristy Prince.
“What the hell did she do to you?”
“You know Kristy. She was just running her lip gloss caked mouth.”
“So, I guess I should be careful what I say to you from now on, huh?”
“Only if you want to keep all your hair,” I threatened.
Justin laughed. “Where’d you get the boulders? He moved the side of my hair that wasn’t up to see them both. “Superman give them to you?”
I smirked. “Very funny.” He already knew Ryan had given them to me. He just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to joke about the super couple article.
“Do they have some sort of secret protective abilities to keep you safe from mind control or radiation or something?”
“Something like that,” I said playfully.
“What are you doing after this?” he asked, still slightly laughing at his own jokes.
“We’re going to Cade’s party.”
“Really?” he frowned, looking concerned.
“What,” I gasped.
“I just thought you’d be busy wielding your powers for good—fighting a band of evil doers who’ve assembled in our great city with the sole intention of wreaking havoc amongst us,” he stated, his tone dramatic, his face serious.
“Hilarious,” I whined. But it was sort of funny.
“I haven’t seen Mullins yet. Is he wearing a cape or does he not want the media to get wind of his secret identity?” He laughed again, completely entertaining himself.
“I’m so done with you,” It was meant to sound threatening, but I started laughing. The lights flashed. They were ready to start. “I’ll see you at the party?” I asked.
“No,” he whined. “I can’t. We have plans with our parents. They’re meeting tonight over dinner.”
“Sounds serious,” I offered.
“I guess. It wasn’t my idea.” He looked like he was dreading it, which made me want to laugh.
“Sorry.”
“Yeah, you look like it,” he groaned.
“Good luck with that,” I told him as I saw Eve approaching. “I need to find a seat.” I didn’t want to talk to her and sensed that she felt the same way about me.
I walked a few rows down and John was waving to me. He’d saved me a seat next to him. I couldn’t see her, but I knew Valerie hated me with a bright red passion and wasn’t thrilled I was here in the first place, but having to sit that close to me had to be killing her. I didn’t like it much either, but I did my best to only concentrate on what was happening in front of me.
The signing ceremony was mostly just a publicity event, a chance for the media to get photos and interviews from the players and colleges who were signing them. There were so many athletes that the signings were done on a continual rotation. They seated five athletes at the table at a time. The player was introduced, and then he stated the name of the school he had chosen.
The interviews took place in an adjoining room. They had what looked like a handful of stations set up, and the players rotated until they had made the circle.
Justin was in the third group. Pam was so proud of him. She was trying not to cry, but Larry had a handkerchief in hand, just in case. Eve looked as if she could power the sun if it failed to shine as she applauded for him. I was rolling my eyes, until I realized that I might feel the same way when it was Ryan’s turn.
And I did.
Ryan was in the fifth group and it took about an hour for him to make the loop. I stayed very far away from Valerie once Ryan left the room, mostly waiting in the hall. I didn’t want to take a chance that I might get stuck having to speak to her again.
Ryan was so happy when he came out. He shoved the auditorium doors open and sighed, with relief. He hugged me, sweeping me off the floor, spinning me around.
“Congratulations.” I smiled.
“Thank you.” He looked at me for a split second before kissing me. “Let’s go celebrate.�
�� He took my hand and we hurried to the car.
We drove downtown to The Metro Hotel with the top down. The party was in the penthouse suite that Cade Mitchell’s parents had reserved for him. He’d gotten a full scholarship to play football at Notre Dame. The hotel rules were being bent a little, but no one expected anything to come of it because his father is a Senator.
The penthouse felt a little familiar to me. It reminded me of being at Ryan’s. It was like one big open living room. The place was packed and the air was thick with pride and accomplishment—pure joy. I didn’t think anything could have killed the mood in there. Everyone smiling and laughing, in the highest spirits. I imagined the dancing, drinking, high fiving and hugging would go on all night.
Ryan and I talked and mingled, well he mostly talked. I just stood next to him, looking uncomfortable until Lindsay and Shawn showed up. She quickly looked me over before grabbing my arm and yanking me to the bar.
“You need to get one of these in you,” she said, offering me a shot of something. “Drink this—fast.” I did it, and she handed me another and then she was somehow able to talk me into dancing on the coffee table with her. For a second I wondered if she’d drugged me because that was so out of character for me, but I knew better.
Later on Ryan found me, pulled me to his side, and quietly asked if I was ready to go. “I don’t want to go home,” I whined. I felt too good. I didn’t want the night to end.
He laughed at the pout forming on my mouth. “Come on party monster.” He draped his arm around my neck and led us out into the hallway. I waved to Lindsay, who had her bottom lip stuck out, sad that I was leaving.
“Table dancing, huh?” Ryan said, with a crooked smile once we were on the elevator.
I grimaced. “Sorry. I hope I didn’t embarrass you.” I looked down at my shoes, which unfortunately made me think of his mother. “No way, I liked seeing that side of you.” The look he gave me made me woozy.
We’d only gone down one floor when the elevator stopped. He put his arm across the opening to keep the doors from closing and nodded toward the hallway. I knew what was happening and was instantly nervous. My insides were fluttering so wildly that I feared I might get sick. Then Ryan took my hand, easing me just as quickly. We were both quiet until we reached the end of the hallway.
“When I knew we were going to be here tonight I reserved a room for us. If you’re not comfortable...”
“Which one is it?”
“The one behind you. It has a balcony overlooking the city.”
“Let's see it, then,” I requested, my voice low. He removed the key card from his pocket and unlocked the door. He swung it open, motioning for me to enter first.
The room was gorgeous. It was lit by candles and the moon, which was shining in from the open balcony doors. The creamy fabric hanging from them mingled with the breeze, floating delicately into the room. We were so high up that the only thing I could see was the stars in the clear night sky.
The carpet was cream colored, the linens feathery white and there were more pillows on the mahogany bed than I could have counted. Cream-colored fabric draped freely, hanging from the canopy, billowing around the bed. There were two bouquets of red roses sitting on the nightstands. A bottle of champagne was chilling on the matching mahogany console table, sitting alongside two crystal flutes and a box of dark chocolates.
“How did you do all of this?” I gasped. I shouldn’t have been this surprised. I knew how he’d done it—the concierge.
He smiled at me, pleased that I seemed happy, and moved closer to me. “If someone calls me John while we’re here, just go with it. It’s the only way I could have the champagne delivered to the room.” I laughed.
“Do you like it?”
“It’s beautiful—perfect.”
“It’s how it was meant to be,” he whispered. His eyes scanned my face, until finally resting on my eyes.
“I love you, Annie.” A euphoric smile quickly spread across my face. I was glowing, happy to hear him finally say those words to me. I put my hand against his cheek and melted into his green eyes, his perfect mouth formed a sweet smile in response.
“I assumed that you were ready for this because of what happened last week.”
His uncertainty made me want to laugh. “I am.” And I was. All of me was ready to be with him.
I moved to put my arms around him, but he stopped me. “Um…do you want anything first? Do you need anything?” He nervously stumbled over the words. I looked at the champagne. “I’ll pour us a glass,” he offered.
I think we both finished in two swallows, trying to drown the nerves. He sat our glasses down and took my hand, moving nearer to kiss me. I felt the nervous fluttering in my stomach again as thoughts of my inexperience flooded my brain. “I don’t want to disappoint you,” I admitted quietly.
“Annie,” Ryan’s voice trembled. “I know how important this is to you and you’re trusting me with it. You’ll only have one first time and I want it to be everything you were waiting for and honestly,” he paused, taking a deep breath. “I’m worried about disappointing you.”
I hadn’t considered how he might feel, but was still surprised by his worry. “You couldn’t. You are what I was waiting for.” I held out my arms as I looked at him. “All of this is beautiful, but it wouldn’t mean anything without you. I feel so much for you that I don’t know how to put it into words. It doesn’t seem like saying that I love you would be enough.” I was a little embarrassed by my revelation, but it was the truth.
He looked away from my eyes, still sounding worried. “I’ve never done this when it meant something before and that’s pretty scary, too. I’ve never loved a girl like this—the way I love you.” He stroked my cheek. “I’ve never loved another girl. I feel complete when we’re together and I miss you like mad when we’re not. You’re always with me, Annie, and I know how lucky I am to have you in my life.”
“I feel the same way about you.” His hands glided into my hair and held there as he kissed me. He paused to look at me again and I was overwhelmed by what we felt for each other—exactly how he’d described what being in love was supposed to feel like.
Ryan was careful with me, sweet and patient. It was a little uncomfortable at first and I realized how naïve I was to the point of embarrassment. But then it seemed everything disappeared except for the two of us; the awkwardness and jitters melted away.
I loved being that close to him. All of the emotions and physical sensations made me feel as if I was being turned inside out. It was a lot to process. There was so much happening. I tried to pay attention to everything because I wanted to remember it all, keep as much of it locked up tight in my memory as I could.
I hadn’t expected it to feel the way it did, because of what Lindsay had told me about her first time, which she had plenty of complaints about, but I didn’t have any. Everything was right.
I looked at Ryan, and it seemed hard to believe, but I felt I loved him even more now than I did before. I didn’t know where I would put it all. I felt it was overflowing before, but now...
“I’m so glad I waited for you,” I whispered. “Thank you for being so good to me.”
Ryan stroked my hair as he spoke. “I promised you I would be.” The look in his eyes made my heart beat faster. “I love you,” I told him. His hand slid from my hair, over my cheek, down my neck, then back up to my mouth. He traced my lips with the tips of his fingers, creating a dizzying sensation in them. I closed my eyes and he kissed me, sweetly, lovingly.
We spent the rest of that night tangled up in each other’s arms, absolutely, blissfully in love.
23
Graduation didn’t start until eight, which forced anyone with a social life to go to dinner beforehand and get the family thing out of the way before the parties started.
I drove myself to the auditorium because I didn’t want to be anywhere near Ryan’s mother, and Justin’s family was having dinner with Eve’s family. Justin said I co
uld come, but I didn’t want to based on the slight chance that Eve might try to stab me with something.
I was waiting outside the auditorium where the impending graduates were being alphabetically placed in line by a few teachers, hoping to see Ryan before he went in.
The past couple weeks for us, since the signing ceremony, had been amazing. I loved him so much that I thought I would burst, and at times, felt I was in actual pain because of it.
Lindsay appeared beside me and I almost didn’t recognize her. She’d been spending so much time with Shawn that I hadn’t seen her in weeks. Her hair was brown, her natural color and she was wearing very little makeup.
“You look great!” I was almost laughing, wide eyed.
“Thanks,” she mumbled, while manipulating a death grip around my wrist. We’re going to the ladies room,” she told Shawn.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” I asked her. She looked scared to death, which frightened me. As long as I’d known Lindsay, she’d never been afraid of anything.
“There’s nothing wrong with me,” she said.
“Then what’s going on?”
“Hold on,” she instructed. There was a line out the door for the bathroom so she dragged me past, still squeezing my wrist, until we were away from everyone else.
“I don’t want to upset you, especially after what’s happened with you and Ryan recently, but I have to tell you something.”
I’d called her, as promised, to tell her about Ryan and me, but she already knew. She answered the phone, “you and Ryan did it. I know. Ryan told Shawn about the room while we were dancing on the table.”
I was a little disappointed, but we had a nice conversation. I’d expected her to ask me a million dirty minded questions, but she only asked me two, very sweet questions. Was he good to you, and, how did you feel after? Which surprised me.
“Okay, so what do you have to tell me?” I asked.
She continued, although visibly flustered. “There were a couple guys at Shawn’s last night...”
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