“So?” he asked eagerly.
“So, what?”
“What do you think of Denise?”
My expression instantly soured. I hated having to say this to him, but I had to. “I don’t like Denise.” My lip automatically curled up as her name came out of my mouth.
Justin froze, pausing for a long moment before he responded. “Why not?”
“Because she’s not…you,” I said gently.
He unwrapped my arms from his waist and studied my face, holding my wrists in his hands; his expression a mixture of anger and confusion.
“You spent all of thirty minutes with her. How do you know she’s not me?”
“Because I know you, Justin. You don’t belong with a girl like that.” I jerked my wrists free from his grasp. “And it only took me two seconds to make that determination,” I added.
“What do you expect me to do? Drop her because you don’t think she’s me—whatever that means.” His voice was louder now.
“Of course not!” I pointed at him. “You asked my opinion! And that’s all it is—my opinion. You can do whatever you want with her,” I snapped. “Although I’m sure you already have.”
“Oh,” he moaned. “So, that’s what it is, then,” he barked. “You think badly of her because she’s a girl doing what she wants when your boyfriend did the same thing before he met you—” He abruptly stopped. “No, wait. I’m sorry, meeting you didn’t stop him. He screwed his prom date, remember?”
I blew out a hard breath. “I’m not going to argue with you about Katie.”
“You’ve never punished him for his behavior. Not even when he deserved it.”
I threw my hands up. “You are not seriously comparing that to Ryan, are you?” I pointed toward the house, glaring at him.
“That!—That!” Justin’s eyes widened, his face flushed. He was so angry. “I can’t believe you, Reynolds. You are seriously pissing me off right now.” He paced back and forth in front of me furiously. “You’re judging her based on how she looks.”
“Didn’t you? When you met her, I know you didn’t think, wow that looks like a girl who can carry on one hell of an interesting conversation. You thought, that girl looks like a porn star, maybe she acts like one, too,” I broadcast frigidly.
“You’re right.” He glared cruelly at me. “And she does.”
“Ughhhhh,” I groaned, exasperated.
“Well you asked for it. It’s what you wanted to hear, isn’t it?” I guess I had provoked him into saying that, whether it was true or not. Either way it still repulsed me.
“What the hell are you trying to do to me? I don’t want to think of you with her like that!” I screeched, smashing my eyes closed, trying to keep the thought out of my head.
“Why not?” He threw his hands up. “I have to think of you with him like that!”
My head automatically jerked back. What the hell did that mean? We glared at each other for a minute. Then he shook his head and let his arms fall back to his sides. He turned to walk away from me.
Pam came out in time to hear his final words. He swung his body back around, facing mine, angry again. He pointed at me as he spoke, his tone riddled with disgust.
“You, Annie, are such a tremendous judge of character that Denise has to be perfect for me if you don’t like her. I should probably propose to her right now.”
I was in tears again before he finished speaking. He ignored them and disappeared around the corner. He was so riled up I was afraid he might actually propose to Denise just to punish me.
Pam’s mouth was hanging wide open.
“Go stop him, before he does something stupid,” I demanded, flinging my arms in the direction he’d gone. She started toward me and then changed course, practically running after Justin. I called a cab and went home. I couldn’t stomach being anywhere near the two of them.
30
Ryan and I spent four days together before he had to leave for Colorado with his family. We stayed in Harmon, which was nice. He had a live Christmas tree delivered for us to decorate. We shopped for lights, ornaments, and stockings. We finished up last minute gift shopping and even had our picture taken with Santa and his reindeer on a downtown sidewalk.
On our pretend Christmas night, we sipped homemade cocoa, ate sausage and cheese pizza, and watched “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
Ryan pulled me close when I began to tear up toward the end. “I don’t want to leave you,” he murmured in my hair. I didn’t want him to leave me either, but I wasn’t going to say it out loud. “I want to stay here and be like this. After break, I start practice with the team and it’s going to be harder to have time—” I put my fingers over his mouth. “Let’s not think about that tonight.”
We exchanged gifts after the movie. I laughed like hell when I opened the garment box with an airbrushed t-shirt inside.
“I had it done in neon,” Ryan snickered. The gaudy shirt unfolded as I lifted it out.
“I see that. Green and orange, my favorite,” I mumbled.
He laughed. “I couldn’t resist, Reynolds. I think every couple needs a cheesy reminder of their love.”
I put on the shirt and we both laughed at how ridiculous I looked.
“That is truly hideous,” he said.
“I tried to tell you.”
“Your real gift is in your stocking,” he said with a smile.
I removed the stocking with my name stitched across the front and reached inside. The box was long, wrapped in velvet and held a bracelet with our initials repeating, a round diamond was settled as a divider between them. It was beautiful.
“Thank you. It’s perfect.”
“Better than the shirt?” he asked playfully.
“So much better than the shirt.”
Ryan helped me put the bracelet on my wrist and after I kissed him in appreciation about fifty times, he opened my gift. It was in a box like the one mine had been in. It contained a gold rope chain with the Harmon University letters melded together inside a circle.
“I’d seen some other college players wearing similar pendants on televised games, so when I found out Harmon didn’t sell them, I had one made,” I explained.
“I love it, thank you,” he said, putting it on.
I hadn’t mentioned my argument with Justin. I didn’t want to tell Ryan that I couldn’t spend Christmas at Pam’s because of Justin’s disgusting new girlfriend, which meant I would be stuck at home all day while he was skiing with his family. I knew he would stay if I asked him, which was why I didn’t.
Ryan drove me home early the following morning and I slummed around my house all day watching the worst crap on television. It was riddled with DNA test specials, celebrity news, court programs, and shows about housewives who weren’t even housewives.
I finally shut it off and dragged myself upstairs to my room to find something to wash or re-organize or whatever. I was so bored and felt like I was going to burst over the situation with Justin and Double D Denise. Ick.
I didn’t call Lindsay to talk. I knew she would have zero sympathy for me because she hated Justin. She’d probably laugh and say something inappropriate, which would only make it worse.
I wanted to call Justin directly and I even started to dial his number a few times, but didn’t go through with it. I knew Pam would intervene before too long to fill me in anyway, and she did—sort of. She called to ask if I wanted my car back, which had been at her house for almost a week. She asked this, of course, on her way over to pick me up.
I knew she was plotting something when she insisted that I come inside the house. Justin’s truck wasn’t there so I did. Pam led me straight to the kitchen and hurriedly poured two glasses of wine. She held one of them out for me.
I smirked. “You’re not fooling anybody, I know what you’re doing,” I told her.
“What?” she asked, attempting to appear innocent.
“Don’t play dumb, Pam. It doesn’t suit you.”
She winked at m
e. “I can’t pretend to be something I’m not capable of, sweetie. Drink up, now,” she chirped.
I rolled my eyes at her slick smile, but took her advice. I figured I might need a drink before seeing Justin.
“Where is he?” I finally asked.
“I asked him to pick up dinner for me.”
“And?”
“And.” She flashed a peculiar grin. “I ordered crab rangoon.”
“I knew you were up to something,” I complained.
“The argument you and Justin had is ridiculous and you’ll be glad to know that he took Ms. December home, so it’s time to make up.”
“So he’s going to figure out that I’m here when he picks up my food.” I was the only one of us who liked crab rangoon and Pam always ordered it for me.
“I know. I’m a genius,” she praised herself.
“I hope for your sake that he doesn’t decide to skip town once he figures it out.”
“He’ll be here,” she assured me. “Drink up,” she chanted again, knowing I would stay put if I drank.
When I heard Justin’s truck pull up I went out to the back porch to hide. Pam called me a chicken. I didn’t argue with her.
I stood against the porch railing and quickly finished my wine. I heard the door creak open behind me. I was afraid to turn around, afraid he wouldn’t want to see me, and that he was still angry.
I felt his arms slide around my waist. I closed my eyes and smiled when he kissed the top of my head.
“I’m really sorry,” I managed to get out.
“Me too,” he murmured in my hair.
I spun around and wrapped my arms around him, too. It made me want to cry, thinking about how important he was to me, how necessary he is. We’d never had a fight like that before. We’d never gone without talking like that before.
I wanted to say so much to Justin, but it was all a jumbled mess in my brain. I was too busy holding on to him to sort it out, so I kept quiet. He went to let go and I squeezed him tighter.
“Not yet,” I mumbled. I wasn’t ready for him to let go. He snickered, and held me a little while longer.
“I wanted to call you. I wasn’t sure if I should. All I could think about was you standing there crying because of me.”
“I was scared to death you were going to run off and marry Denise because of me.”
He laughed. “Not likely.”
I leaned back and let my hands fall to his hips so I could look at his face. He moved his arms to my waist and interlocked his fingers at the small of my back, and smiled at me. He looked good.
“I should have called you anyway. I know you can’t stay mad at me for long.” I rolled my eyes at his shiny smile.
“I don’t ever want to fight with you again.”
“We won’t,” he promised.
“Did you spit on my crab rangoon?” I asked as he led me back inside for dinner.
He laughed hard. “If I tell you it’ll take the excitement out of getting to watch you inspect it for lougies before you eat it.”
“So gross.”
After dinner, Justin and I laid on opposite ends of the couch, watching a movie, a sappy one, but I was totally into it.
“Hey!” I complained, when he muted the television.
“It’s so warm,” Justin blurted.
“What?” That was random.
He rose up and looked at me. “Outside—it’s so warm,” he clarified, and then he looked around the room as if searching for something. I had no idea it was a bad idea or I would have tried to stop him.
It was unseasonably warm for December. It was eleven o’clock and almost seventy degrees, when it should have been thirty.
“Let’s get the tent and camp on the dock tonight.” He said it as if making an announcement, instead of a suggestion, and then hopped off the couch and went to the kitchen. I heard him rattling things and then he emerged a few minutes later with one of Pam’s green bags. It was sagging; nearly touching the floor from being so full.
He carried it with him when he went to his room, returning with a flashlight.
“You’re serious about this?” I asked, hoping he would laugh and yell, “gotcha.”
He looked at me as if he couldn’t believe I was asking. “Yeah,” he said, eyes wide.
“Okay, then,” I grumbled. “I guess we’re camping.” I dragged myself off the couch to help him.
Justin transferred the green bag and flashlight to me to carry outside. He met me a few minutes later with his two-man tent, which instantly set itself, standing straight up as soon as he untied it. He’d also brought a blanket and an air mattress that he tucked inside the tent. It filled up within seconds at the touch of a button.
Justin pinned the front flaps of the tent open, which left us with a great view of the water. He pulled a couple beers from the green bag and went inside, zipping the bug net closed behind me.
“See, not so bad, huh?”
I chuckled. “No, but now you have to entertain me since I didn’t get to see the end of the movie.”
“Whatever, Reynolds. They all end the same. He’ll apologize and they’ll get back together.”
“Yeah, but I wanted to hear what he said to her. I wanted to judge whether his words were worthy of her or not.”
“Huh,” he gasped. “It’s a made up story. Some writer decided what he said to her.”
“Well now you’ve completely ruined it for me.”
“Sorry.” He shrugged. He didn’t sound sorry, though. I took a sip of my beer and gazed out at the moon’s reflection on the water’s surface. It was so still and quiet out there.
“I have to tell you something,” Justin said, tension in his voice.
“Okay.”
“But you have to promise not to get mad at me.”
“Okay,” I hesitantly agreed.
“I know why Eve tried to break you and Ryan up.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.”
I wondered how long he’d had this piece of information and why he’d kept it from me.
“She didn’t really want to get married. Well, she may have, but we never talked about it. I just said that because it was the first thing that came to me. I didn’t want to tell you the truth.”
“You lied to me?”
“I didn’t want to. I was going to tell you the truth, until you asked where she was when you came to visit. I just didn’t want you to feel like it was your fault.”
“My fault?” I gasped. “How would it be my fault?” What Ryan told me about his conversation with Eve flashed through my mind. She’d told him it was my fault she and Justin broke up.
“It wasn’t, really. I didn’t mean for it to sound like that.”
“Okay, so what’s the reason?”
“She wanted me to stop seeing you.” Something else Eve had told Ryan. “She was furious when she found out you were coming to Martin that weekend. She told me she didn’t want you there and we got into a huge fight over it. She said she was not sleeping under the same roof as you and that I had to choose.”
“What?” I adjusted myself in my seat. I couldn’t believe she actually asked him to do that. I mean, I knew she’d threatened it once before, but I didn’t think she would do it.
“She was severely pissed off when I let her go, but I’d warned her not to make me choose. She already knew what would happen if she did.”
I was stunned silent. I wanted to say something, but couldn’t. Was Justin seriously telling me that he’d chosen me over his girlfriend?
“At first, I thought she was just mad and would get over it, but it turned out she was serious and I didn’t want her to think she could just throw down ultimatums anytime she didn’t like something—especially when it involved you.”
The way he was staring at me made my heart beat erratically. His voice was low and even. “She was always jealous of you.” He looked away from me as if he was viewing the break up in his head, remembering exactly how it happened.
“I asked her to let you and I have Friday night together and that if she wanted to, she could hang out with us on Saturday.” He glanced up at me. “She said no, because she didn’t feel she could trust me to be alone with you all night. I told her that was ridiculous, and then she told me to choose—you or her.” Justin’s eyes fell away from mine, distressed. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I know it’s why she said those things to Ryan. She was trying to hurt you. She’s misplacing the blame—putting it on you when it belongs with her.”
I took a breath and swallowed the uneasiness creeping up, forcing it back down. “Why did she think she couldn’t trust you to be alone with me?”
“Because of graduation night.”
“But nothing happened.”
“I know. She was resentful of our relationship. And she would not shut up about you wearing my shirts and seeing your underwear.” Justin grinned. “I must have really missed something there, because she was truly traumatized by seeing those tiny black panties,” he snickered. I rolled my eyes. “I apologized to her for that night a thousand times and I understood her fear, but I couldn’t stay with someone who didn’t trust me.”
“I wish you would have told me.” I was so taken aback at hearing this. “If you really wanted to be with Eve I could have tried to convince her she was wrong or something. I mean, you hadn’t seen me since you left for school with her.” I was aggravated with Eve for trying to take Justin completely away from me. “I don’t know how much further away I could have been from you. Four hours seemed like enough,” I complained.
“She didn’t believe me, so I don’t think you trying to convince her would’ve helped. She probably would have thought I was putting you up to it.”
Justin exhaled hard. “I just wanted you to know. I’m sorry I lied to you. I felt like if I told you the truth while you were visiting that you wouldn’t have had nearly as much fun as you did,” he laughed, getting this amused look on his face.
I held my hands up. “I still don’t wanna know the rest,” I threatened.
“I’ll keep it in the vault.” Justin pointed toward his head, still smiling wickedly.
“What is it with the girls you date? They’re all suspicious of me, which is completely unfair. We’ve never even kissed for crying out loud, and I still get categorized as a relationship ruiner. All the questions and accusations and then Eve giving you an ultimatum, forcing you to choose between the two of us,” I ranted. It was absurd.
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