“As much as it hurts me, as heartbroken as I am over this whole situation, that boy is going to need his father, which is you. Not some other guy she meets. You. You are his father. He is your responsibility and her responsibility and no one else’s.”
“I agree,” John added. “Don’t you Valerie?” Great. He was asking her opinion. I knew exactly what she wanted to happen.
“I do. I think Annie has made a good point Ryan, but I believe a child should grow up in a household with both of his parents. It’s critical. It cuts down on confusion. Jacob needs to know that the two people who created him, his parents, will be constantly in his life.”
Valerie glanced at me unapologetically, and then to Ryan. “I think it would be best if you and Katie got married and raised Jacob together.”
“No.” Ryan snapped. “I will not marry someone I don’t love. I’m in love with Annie. If I marry anyone it will be her.” My mouth fell open. “If you’re so up for a wedding mother, Annie will be eighteen on Friday.”
I stuttered, but couldn’t come up with anything to say. I looked at John to confirm that I had no idea. He knew Ryan was venting, angry with Valerie, who snapped back, “You do it and you’ll be cut off immediately.”
It was the first time I’d seen Valerie lose her cool.
I got up and left the room. I heard John trying to talk her down. When he failed, he put his foot down. “I will not cut off our son for any reason and that’s final. If you don’t like it—you can leave.”
I didn’t imagine Valerie was used to John yelling or stating his opinions so forcefully. Ryan and John continued to argue with Valerie, their words an overlapping mess, until Ryan shouted above them both. “I don’t need your money. I have my own. Remember?”
I finally made it outside. I descended the front steps and just kept walking. I breathed in the clear air hoping it would have the same effect on my clouded head. I knew wishing this wasn’t happening; that this wasn’t my reality wouldn’t make my problems disappear. Decisions needed to be made and no matter what was settled on, there was no way we would all agree.
I heard the roar of an engine and tires screeching to a stop. Ryan was next to me with the passenger door of the Mercedes open. We went to his house in Harmon to spend the next two nights before I had to go back to school.
Justin had called me several times. When I called him back, I asked what had happened with Eve.
“We just went around in circles, coming to the same conclusion every time. She finally told me that if I took her back she’d deal with our relationship. She promised to be nice to you and…” I interrupted. “Everything I promised you I would do if you got back with her.”
“Yeah, I just don’t want to go backwards. We still have the same problems that broke us up. Like I told you before, she’s just not what I want anymore. It was hard not to give her what she wants though. She was begging me to try again and all that crying,” he moaned. “Pam finally called her mother to come get her.”
“Don’t repeat this, but I almost felt sorry for Eve. I mean, the way she was looking at you—” I trailed off.
“I know,” he mumbled. She still loved him. Justin knew it, too. I could tell he was feeling a little guilty because he didn’t want to be with her anymore and she was taking it so hard, but you can’t force yourself to stay in a relationship you don’t want, nor should you try. It’ll only make things worse.
“I’m sorry I left you alone for so long,” he said. “You could have stayed in my room. You didn’t have to call a cab.”
“Oh, no, that’s okay. I knew you already had your hands full with one hysterical girl. I didn’t want to stick you with another.”
“You want me to come get you?” I’d left my car at his house again.
“I’m not home,” I said carefully. Justin was quiet for a moment. “Where are you?” he asked, although I was certain he already knew.
“I’m in Harmon.” He was quiet again and I wondered if he was going to yell at me and call me stupid, but he didn’t.
“Okay.” I heard him swallow. “If you need my help getting your car home, let me know.”
“Thank you,” I said, and he hung up.
35
Friday, I was no good to anyone. I was so excited about the possibilities of what the night would hold that I deemed myself worthless until seven o’clock when I would be with Ryan again.
Lindsay and Shawn called me before I left for school. I was telling Lindsay what Ryan had planned for me when I heard Shawn’s sleepy voice. “Happy Birthday, Annie,” he called loud enough for me to hear. “Hope you have a great day, but Lindsay has to go,” he said.
I laughed. They were still in bed, and from the sound of it, gearing up for round two.
“How rude,” Lindsay scolded. Then I heard what sounded like a slap. I don’t know where she hit him, but he must have liked it because he told her to do it again. That was my cue. I thanked them for calling and hung up.
Justin texted me two words. Happy Birthday.Which made me wonder if he was mad at me. I knew that if he was mad he wouldn’t keep it in for long. I was certain he didn’t approve of my choice to stay with Ryan after finding out he had a baby. The circumstances weren’t ideal, but Ryan and I loved each other, and right now, that was all that mattered to me, which quite possibly made me an idiot.
Ryan was taking me to Chelsea’s Restaurant for dinner. It was super fancy and I needed to look the part so I went to Pam’s boutique right after school. She hugged me, gushing about how she couldn’t believe I was eighteen and how much she’d enjoyed every second she’d spent with me.
I realized that Justin hadn’t told her about Jacob, which was a relief because I was in too good a mood to have a deep discussion about that now.
Because it was January and still freezing outside, Pam decided that I should skip searching for a dress and wear trousers instead.
“With your long legs, sweetie, these will look fantastic on you.” She held up a pair in cream. She also put me in a pair of chunky heels and a fire orange three quarter sleeve silk necktie blouse with ruffles on the front and a wool trench coat that matched my pants. The whole outfit would have paid for an entire semester of college but she insisted that I take it anyway.
“My birthday gift to you,” Pam said, and wouldn’t allow me to argue with her.
“Now,” she announced. “You should go across the street and let Marshall do your hair and makeup. I’ll call and ask him to squeeze you in.”
I thanked her, hugged her again, and hurried across the street to the Marshall Harlow Salon.
Frankly, Marshall scared me a little bit. His hair looked like it hadn’t been tended to at all in weeks. When he spoke, I was surprised by his voice, which dissipated the clichés about male hairdressers I had in my head. He didn’t have a sweet, soft voice or an exotic accent. He sounded like a gruff lumberjack man, and he seemed bored with me. I was in high school and surely wouldn’t be capable of having a conversation with any type of depth. Nor would I have any good gossip.
He did an amazing job on my hair though, despite his own. Then his assistant, Carmen, applied my makeup.
When I was finished, Marshall informed me that Pam had covered everything except the tip because the tip was discretionary and couldn’t be determined by the staff. I gave him forty bucks. He liked me a little more after that, praising my good looks and style.
***
“You look amazing,” Ryan said when I opened the door.
I smiled. “So do you.”
When he tried to kiss me, I turned my head, warning that he would smear my expensive lipstick. I laughed at his expression, and lightly pressed my mouth to his.
“I’ll be nice now, but later, that lipstick is getting smeared. I don’t care how much it cost,” Ryan murmured, making my heart hum in anticipation.
I swung my new coat around me, sliding my arms into the silk lined sleeves as Ryan escorted me to the car and helped me inside. We couldn’t keep our ey
es off each other. I touched his face and played with his hair as he drove us. I joked with him, asking if he wanted me to demonstrate how David used to pull my hair. He looked at me as if I’d better not dare and then laughed, recalling my overacting that day, after our first phone conversation.
At Chelsea’s, Ryan and I turned a few heads. I felt powerful in these clothes with my love by my side, our fingers twisted together as we walked.
We were seated at a beautifully dressed table with a view of the skyline. The restaurant was romantic, with dim lighting and soft music playing. The food was fantastic. Ryan and I didn’t talk much while we ate. We mostly watched one another, anticipating being alone again. My fantasies about this night had me a touch nervous. I’d been toying with the idea of Ryan proposing to me ever since he’d mentioned it to his mother. I knew he’d only said it to piss her off, but still; I couldn’t help wondering what if?
Ryan ordered dessert to go, and then told me he had a surprise for me whenever I was ready to leave. Although my brain was already out the door, I gracefully stood and slid my chair under the table. Ryan was aware of my mood. I think it was possible that everyone was aware of it, as he had been my sole focus.
Ryan laughed at my blatant disregard for what the public thought of us as he came around to offer me his arm. I wound myself around him and smiled as he whispered something sweet meant only for me to hear.
We drove about forty miles outside of the city before we came to what looked like a dead end. There was a gate with a giant NO TRESSPASSING sign hanging from it. Ryan got out and easily moved it aside, then steered us down a small blacktop road for about a mile. He stopped in front of a modest log cabin with smoke billowing from the stone chimney. Two rocking chairs sat beneath the cover of the front porch.
I sat there taking it in until Ryan opened my door and helped me out of the car.
“This place is beautiful. How did you find it?
“It’s mine, actually.”
“Yours?”
“Yeah, my grandfather owned it. He left me this cabin and there’s a farmhouse about a half mile farther down. It sits on an about three hundred acres. He had nearly three thousand at one time, but began to sell it off as he got older and couldn’t farm it anymore.”
“Anything else you own that I don’t know about?”
“No.” he laughed, reaching for my hand. “I just thought this cabin would be the perfect place for us to spend tonight.”
The inside of the cabin was modern, but outfitted with rustic furniture. It was one bedroom with a white oak, log bed covered with a plaid flannel comforter and big, red pillows. There was a small matching dresser and tiny closet in the room. The bathroom was off the bedroom and had what seemed to be the original claw foot tub and a new pedestal sink.
The floors were wide plank, knotty pine. The kitchen was small and contained a dining table with two chairs.
In the living room were a distressed leather couch, a fluffy rag rug, a couple of red occasional chairs, and a beautiful stone clad, wood-burning fireplace that had a newly set fire crackling inside it.
“How is there a fire going? We just got here.” I began to survey the room for anything else that wouldn’t have just appeared out of thin air.
Ryan winked at me. “I can’t tell you all of my secrets, love. It wouldn’t be fair.”
“Not fair to whom? I asked.
“Well, I will tell you this. I have had plenty of time to prepare for tonight.”
“Yes, you have and I am extremely interested to find out what comes next.” I removed my coat and slung it across an arm of the nearest chair, and gracefully sat down on the couch.
“What’s with you tonight?” he asked, playfully narrowing his eyes. He knew exactly what was with me.
“I can’t tell you all of my secrets, love. It wouldn’t be fair.”
He laughed.
Ryan made several trips from the kitchen to the living room, bringing the dessert he’d ordered from Chelsea’s, a couple of forks, two flutes, and a bottle of champagne.
He left and reappeared one last time with an urn of ice and a medium sized bag in his hands.
“Now,” Ryan smiled. “We will toast to your birthday and then I have a few gifts for you.”
“A few?”
“Yes, a few.”
“I thought that being here with you was my gift.”
“You should know better.”
“It’s all I want, you know, just to be with you.”
“I know,” he smiled.
While Ryan poured our drinks, I took my hair down and shook it out. It felt good to release it.
“Happy Birthday Annie.” Ryan handed me a glass, we gently tapped them together and took a sip.
“Thank you for everything,” I gushed.
“You’re welcome,” he mouthed. “Time for presents.”
Ryan swung the medium sized bag up onto his lap and looked inside. “Number one,” he said, handing me a small, flat box. It was red with a tiny white bow stuck to the center. I lifted the lid and found a single key inside. I looked at him wondering what it opened.
“This is your key to my house in Harmon.” That was all he said. “So…this is my key…to your house in Harmon?”
“Yes,” he answered and quickly moved on. “Number two.”
Ryan dug back into the bag and handed me another box, a bigger box. Black velvet without a red bow. I lifted the rectangular shaped lid and found a note that read, This is to remind you that you have mine.
Beneath the note was a gold chain with an open diamond encrusted heart dangling from the center. It was beautiful, delicate. Perfect. I had him put it on me and tried to kiss him, but he staved off my eagerness by announcing gift number three.
“Now this one needs some explanation,” he said, keeping the box in his hands. “I have to say that I know this situation with Katie has been hard and I hope you know how sorry I am that I’m putting us through it. I also want you to know how much I love and appreciate you.”
He smiled sweetly at me and put one of his hands on my face. “I am grateful to you for being so supportive. You didn’t have to be. I am also grateful that you changed your mind about giving me up, which is why I’ve decided to wait before making a decision about relinquishing my parental rights to Jacob.”
I put my hand on his. “I’m glad you changed your mind. I’ll do whatever I need to do to make this work.”
“I know you will, and so will I. I want to give you something that represents that.”
I heard the box he held crack open. Ryan reached for my left hand, increasing my heart rate.
“I want you to know that I am committed to staying together and having a future with you.” He slid a ring on my finger. “This ring represents that promise.”
I panted, trembling, staring at the ring on my finger in shock. I kept looking at him and the ring and was just speechless.
“If you don’t like it we can—” I cut him off. “No. No. It’s just so shiny and big. It’s so big.” I knew my earrings totaled four carats. This had to be close to five.
“I want everyone to know you’re taken,” he admitted softly.
“Everyone within a fifty mile radius,” I blurted, shaking my head. “I can’t take this ring out in public. What if I get mugged?” Ryan laughed. “You’ll be fine. Just let it sink in.” I knew he was right. The size of the ring didn’t matter to me; the important part was what it represented. I would have been just as happy with a Cracker Jack ring.
“Thank you.” I murmured. He kissed me and I had almost forgotten my confusion about the key.
“So, the key…” I questioned.
“Is for you to use to unlock the door to get inside the house,” he teased.
I smirked.
“Seriously,” he said, taking my hands in his. “When you come to Harmon in the fall I would like for you to live with me.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Of course, I would mo
ve in with him. I didn’t need any convincing at all because I wanted to, more than I even knew, apparently.
“Now, I want to discuss something else with you.”
“Anything.” I was way too high to care what it was.
“Money. I want to talk to you about money.”
“Okay.” I didn’t have any so it must have been about his.
“I have a trust fund that was set up by my grandfather, which I’ll get when I turn twenty-one. If I decide to give up the baby, I would want to give Katie money to help raise him.”
“Yes.” Ryan should give her whatever she needed and begin immediately.
“She wants two million dollars for me to walk away.”
“WHAT?” He had talked to her. I think I was more freaked out by that than the two million dollars part.
“She said she would settle.”
“Really? Why would she assume you didn’t want to raise Jacob?”
“She didn’t assume it.” He looked down at the floor. “I talked to her the day I told you about him. I told her that morning that I didn’t want to have anything to do with her or the baby.”
I thought that was an incredibly selfish and hurtful thing for him to have said to her.
“I have the money Annie. I can give it to her at any time with my mother’s permission. She oversees my trust.”
“Your mother won’t release that money so you can give away your child.” Especially since she was pulling for the three of them to become the happy family she’d dreamt up in her head.
“Then I’ll have my dad find a loophole.”
“Stop,” I interrupted. “I thought you decided not to give him up.”
“I think it would be best for us if I did.”
“I don’t think you should do that. You haven’t even seen him yet.” Then I wondered. “Have you?”
“No. I don’t know that I want to. Katie was a mistake, a reminder of who I used to be before I met you. When I have children, I want it to be with you.”
“What do you mean when? You already have a child, and he has your name for crying out loud. You should at least meet him. You promised John and Valerie—” Ryan cut me off. “All I promised them was that I would wait, nothing more.”
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