by Sabrina York
I stand at his side with a wide-eyed stare, hoping to pass a silent message. “He’s Adam’s brother, Erik.”
Kelly’s eyes also burst wide when she understands. “Oh! The infamous brother. Right.” She drops his hand like a hot potato. “What are you doing here? I thought you and Adam weren’t simpatico.”
“He’s just leaving,” I say, crossing my arms.
“Do you live in the city?” Erik asks Kelly, unfazed by my blatant hint. “We should really meet for drinks sometime.”
Kelly runs her fingers along the torn hem of her shorts, suddenly looking peaked. “Actually, I…” Her voice trails off and she wets her lips, glancing back at me, her brown eyes perplexed.
I know my best friend’s mannerisms better than my own. There’s something she’s holding back because she knows it will upset me. I’m wrecked with guilt. She’s had to walk on eggshells ever since my high school sweetheart was killed in Afghanistan last year, sending me into a deep depression. Before I met Adam, my life was a total mess. Kelly was always there to pick up the pieces.
“Kel, stoping making that face. What’s going on?”
“Shit. I’ve been meaning to tell you since I got here, I just haven’t found the right time, if there even is such a thing.” She lowers her head like a scolded puppy. “I bought a one way ticket here. I’m staying indefinitely.” Her jittery hands raise to the sky, and she smiles in mock enthusiasm. “Surprise.”
{Kelly Cavenaugh}
Chapter One
Deciding to drop my life in Wisconsin and move all the way out to New York City was an extremely rash decision—probably ranks up there as one of the dumbest ideas of all time considering I have no real plan now that I’ve arrived. I mean, I haven’t even been to New York before now. I don’t know that I would’ve ever pictured myself living in such a colossal place. Still, the decision to come here came at me with such blinding clarity that I threw hardly enough of my belongings into a suitcase to last me a week, let alone however long I end up staying.
The idea first popped into my head when Jewels told me she was moving to the city with Adam. She made New York sound so damn exciting. Of course it started out as a thing of grotesque jealousy—the type that a girl would never dare admit to her bestie—but after I put some thought into it, I decided moving away was the best way to erase my foolish past and start fresh. I knew it would be incredibly exciting, too.
Spending the first two months of summer working alongside my annoying, nosy, and sometimes pretentious four sisters just solidified the fact that I needed to get the hell away from Wisconsin. I booked the ticket online before I had time to change my mind.
Jewels stands next to Adam’s smoking-hot brother, her jaw literally dropped, pale blue eyes frozen on me. As much as I wanted to share my news much earlier, I was afraid of how she would react to my poorly executed decision. What if she sees me as a leech for deciding to follow her across the country? In hindsight it seems I did latch onto her dream in an attempt to find the kind of happiness she found with Adam. What if I’m just too much of a coward to devise a dream of my own?
I grab my friend’s arms. “Jewels, you’re freaking me out. Surely there must be something you want to say to me.”
“So I guess you are going to be living around here,” Erik says with a sly smile. “That’s the best news I’ve heard in, well, forever.”
Looking away from Jewels, I meet his intimate gaze and suddenly feel like sex on a stick despite the fact that my hair is a mess and I’m all sweaty.
Erik is undeniably sexy—even more so than his reserved big brother. He’s the type who defines the very definition of a “pretty boy”: the type you’d expect to rule at a fraternity house. Long eyelashes, high cheek bones, pouting lips, eyes that make you forget anything else exists. I can just about imagine what he can do with his full set of lips. Or his long fingers that look as if they’ve had a recent manicure. A hot guy and a full bank account? Puh-lease.
Jewels warned me he’s trouble, but I’m a firm believer that sometimes a girl needs a bad guy in her life to show her a good time. Then I remember that I resolved to come here to change my ways and let out a frustrated sigh.
Jewels finally snaps from her trance to gather her thick blond hair behind her head. “Erik, could you give us a minute? Better yet, maybe you should leave before I tell your brother what you just said to me. And quit leering at my friend. She’s not interested.”
Erik replies with an arrogant hum. “I didn’t hear your friend protesting.”
I somehow manage to press my lips together and flash him a stiff smile before I say something that would piss Jewels off further. She’s obviously irritated by her boyfriend’s brother, and I’m not going to push the issue. I stand tall, trying to appear assertive even though I only have so much restraint when it comes to incredibly good looking guys. “What she said.”
Erik turns to leave, flashing Jewels a darker look. “I’ll be back another time.”
Parts of me throb excitedly with his words—the parts that always seem to take precedence over whatever rational thoughts may be milling around in my head. The guy may be totally wrong for me, and it would probably put a ginormous wedge between me and my bestie if I were to actively pursue him, but damn I bet he’s a tiger in the bedroom.
Once we’re left alone, Jewels flashes me what I affectionately call her “motherly” gaze. Her blond eyebrows furrow with worry, her lips turn down at the edges. I’ve always pictured her becoming a school teacher despite her resolve to stay far away from little kids. “Seriously, that guy is trouble. Don’t even think about hooking up with him.”
Irritation stirs in my gut. “Wait. You’re just going to assume that I want to hook up with him? Could you maybe give me a little credit?”
She waves her hands through the air like a madwoman. “Can we focus on the fact that you just told me you’re staying in New York? How? Where? When did you decide this? Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Does this have anything to do with why you just randomly quit Facebook?”
“Sure. You like it when Adam surprises you. Why can’t I pull the same shit?” I take a deep breath and wander over to one of the new outdoor couches, sinking into the plush cushion. “Are you mad?”
Jewels plops down at my side, slapping a hand on my bare leg. “Are you kidding? I love it that you’re going to be here with me! I just wasn’t expecting it. You’re seriously moving here?”
“Here as in your backyard? That would be a little awkward, don’t you think?” When she doesn’t smile, I roll my eyes and let out a low grumble. “A lot of shit happened this summer while you were away. I wanted to tell you everything sooner, but you had your own issues to wade through. It just never seemed like the right time.” I feel a sharp sting behind my eyes and quickly push it back down. I’m not a crier. Crying is a sign of weakness, and I’m Kelly Fucking Cavenaugh.
Jewels takes one of my hands in both of hers. “God, I’m so sorry. You’re always there when I need you. Whatever it is, I want to know. I want to return the ten thousand favors I owe you from all the times you’ve scraped me off the ground.”
“There’s no reason for you to apologize. I’m pretty sure getting your boyfriend to agree to a life saving surgery trumps my petty drama.”
“It can’t be petty if it made you want to permanently leave Wisconsin.” She draws me in with one of her pleading looks. “C’mon. I want to know what happened.”
My stomach becomes a mess of nerves. “Shouldn’t we be helping the guys carry stuff in?”
“Theo and James can get most of it. It’s not like we have a lot of things.”
Blowing out a long, stuttering breath, I look to the patio doors. Friends and family back home are the only ones who know the whole story, and I haven’t had to tell anyone else before now. “Do you have any beer, or wine, or anything that will make this process less painful?”
Jewels slumps in the couch. “Shit, that bad?”
“Two bottles of wine sh
ould do the trick.”
With a bright smile, she sits taller. “Wait, I have a bottle of champagne I was going to drink tonight once we’re moved in. Since Adam isn’t really supposed to drink with me anyway, I may as well share it with you instead of drinking alone.” She leans in to kiss my cheek. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”
I lift my hands up, smirking. “I literally have absolutely nowhere else to go.”
As I watch her disappear inside, I let my shoulders fall, ready to drop the façade I’ve worked so hard to keep the past few days, and finally let myself fall apart. The brutal look of disappointment in my dad’s eyes and the anguished cries of my mom are still too raw. They settle in the pit of my stomach like a ball made of concrete. I made the right decision to come out here indefinitely. A fresh start is exactly what I need.
“Taking a break already?” Theo asks from the doorway. “Afraid to break a sweat, Cavenaugh?”
Surprised by his sudden presence, I let out a quiet gasp. His dark, deeply set eyebrows looming over his hazel eyes always have a way of turning my insides to pudding. I’m not usually one to fall for a guy with a military-like haircut, and I really don’t get why Theo keeps it up considering he’s moved on from the Marines to the entertainment world. Still his sculpted mouth and sharp jaw highlighting his square face makes the look actually rather fitting.
When I saw him standing on the steps to the brownstone my first day in the city, I thought Jewels and Adam had changed their mind about hiring a moving company, because he’s so well built that I’m sure he could move a couch with the strength of his pinky. Then I realized he’s the guy I’d seen in pictures with Jewels and Adam from their trip to New York at the beginning of summer. The fact that he can volley back and forth with me without batting his dark eyelashes makes him even hotter. I’ve always considered it to be a good sign of character when a guy can keep up with my sarcasm.
I sigh under my breath. Why is my best friend always surrounded by crazy hot guys? I mean, I get that she’s a natural knockout, and she’s fun to hang around because she’s funny and sincerely cares about her friends. I get that hot guys are naturally drawn to her, but the sight of Theo’s bulging muscular arms does things to my sexual desires that should be considered indecent in public. Jewels told me she once “caught” him naked, and said that his entire body could be declared a national treasure. I lick my lips when I try to picture whatever it was that she saw.
Theo regards me with the same hot desire, one of his dark eyebrows raised. “You okay? You need…something?”
Although we’ve been alone for a minute or two before, I’m hyper-aware that we’re standing in the romantic backyard Adam created for Jewels. The private, romantic backyard where anything could happen, and the neighbors wouldn’t see. Feeling an excited pang down below, I shift my legs.
Theo’s exactly the kind of guy I should be avoiding: the self-absorbed type who works out for show, and goes through women the way I once went through men—enjoy and discard. The last time I fell for someone like him, it started the downward spiral that landed me here.
I’m not here to have sex. I’m not here to have sex. I’m not here to have sex.
Yeah, right. No matter how many times I chant the mantra, I can’t shake the image of mounting the insanely hot, former soldier-turned-television producer. The Marine Corps symbol tattooed on his calf muscle makes me wonder if there are more tattoos on his body that I could explore. With my tongue.
“Don’t you have some cars to bench or something?” I ask, irritated by his relentless ability to turn me on.
He grins, his eyes smoldering. “Sweetheart, I could bench you if you want.”
I lick my lips again, feeling the onset of a panic attack. This is new, incredibly dangerous territory. I’m well accustomed to guys wanting to get it on with me, even some who were as delicious as Theo, but those days are over. So how in the hell do I say no to an offer like that?
“What makes you think I’d be interested in such a thing?” I retort, my voice sounding the exact opposite of confident.
Theo strides across the patio toward me, his grin growing wider. My eyes flicker down to his shorts to discover his grin isn’t the only thing enlarged. “Because I see the way your body responds to mine.” He stops, tilting my chin up with his sausage-like finger. My skin flushes expectantly with his touch. “And I see the way those gorgeous brown eyes size me up.”
“There’s an awful lot of you to…size.” I attempt to swallow, but fail miserable. It feels as if a bonfire has been set inside of me. Holy shit, I want to do things to this hottie that would make my married sister flush.
His thumb brushes along my lower lip. “What do you say you and I make a little magic?” I close my eyes, unable to stop myself from responding to his touch. “How many days do we have before you leave the city?”
With his last question, my eyes pop open. Maybe I’ve become über sensitive with all that’s happened in my past and Jewels’s recent assumption that I wanted to hook up with Erik, but since Theo thinks I’m about to leave, and only wants a one-time fling suddenly makes me feel dirty and disposable.
I lean away like I’ve been backhanded. “What makes you assume I’d want to ‘make magic’ with you?”
“I’m sorry, I thought that’s what we were hinting at here.” He blinks several times, appearing blown away by my question. “And Jewels said—”
“Fuck what Jewels said!” I spring to my feet and dart to the patio door, struggling to find my breath. I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt that my best friend would sell me out like that. I throw Theo a resentful look over my shoulder. “And you can forget it, because I’m not going to fuck you!”
“Wait a minute,” Theo calls after me. “That’s not—”
I move past Jewels and Adam who are busy directing the movers where to put the new furniture. Jewels has the bottle of champagne in her hand, but she doesn’t seem to notice me as I sneak past the living room. I grab my purse off a moving box in the entryway and slip out the front door.
My mind’s racing as I dart inside the tavern at the end of the block. The dark quiet of the place offers exactly the kind of refuge I need to clear my head, and a good dose of alcohol will help calm me down.
After all I’ve done for Jewels, all the times I picked her up when she fell down, all the times I let her cry on my shoulder, she had the nerve to tell Theo I was good to go for a one-night stand? The sting of betrayal swells inside of me, festering into a deep rage.
I guess it really shouldn’t come as a surprise. I’ve spent a lifetime being less than stellar in the eyes of those I love. Of the five daughters my parents raised, I was their biggest disappointment. The first couple years of high school I maintained a pretty decent GPA like the rest of them, but I wasn’t president of the debate team like Megan, or a starter for the basketball team like Sarah. I didn’t place as a runner-up for junior beauty pageants like Glori, or sweep state records for hurdles in track and field like Ella.
It was always challenging to get past the fact that I was unaccomplished in my parents’ eyes. As the youngest, my far less notable achievements were swept under the rug to make way for my far more gifted sisters. By my senior year, I became more concerned with locating the next big party, and setting my sights on the biggest hottie of the bunch to become my latest conquest. I was obsessed with the idea of finding someone who would treat me special, burning through guy after guy and never really having a boyfriend.
Because my grades took a considerable dive, my chances of being accepted to some of the most prestigious colleges in the country that I once had my sights set on were shattered. By that point, however, I really didn’t give a shit.
I wish I could still say I didn’t give a shit, but the way my parents and everyone else sees me now really stings.
“What’ll ya have?” a short redhead asks from behind the bar as I settle into one of the dark green stools. She’s exceptionally spindly with bright green eyes set close
together, and smiles tightly like she knows it’s the only way she’ll score any tips.
I pull out my wallet and flash my ID. “Whiskey sour. Better yet, just Jameson on the rocks. Make it a double.”
I hear a low snicker behind me. Rather suddenly, Adam’s brother slips onto the stool at my side, his baby blues flashing down to where my shirt dips low. “I would’ve pictured you as a daiquiri kind of girl.”
Suddenly I wish I would’ve taken my sister, Ella, up on the can of mace she offered to send along. I tend to be a magnet for douchebags, and apparently Erik is no exception, even if he is infuriatingly attractive. “When you suggested we get together for drinks sometime, I never would’ve guessed that was code for ten minutes. Are you stalking me?”
“Last I checked, bars are considered a public domain.” He peers into the glass of clear liquid in his hands, snorting. “And I needed a drink, apparently just like you.”
Narrowing my eyes, I whisper, “Aren’t you, like, eighteen or something?”
He leans in close, his warm breath tickling my neck. “Twenty in a few months, actually. And newsflash, it doesn’t take much to get your hands on a legit ID. I would even venture to guess you had one not too long ago.”
I lean away, clearing my throat. “I picture someone of your stature having a little higher standards than this place.” When the bartender sets a glass in front of me, I add, “No offense.”
She shrugs. “I only work here. That’ll be ten dollars.”
“For this?” I ask, gesturing to the small tumbler glass.
“Welcome to New York,” Erik tells me, tossing her a crisp $100 bill. “I’ve got this.”
“Thanks, I guess,” I mutter before knocking the drink back in a series of large gulps. Shivering, I slam the glass back on the worn wooden bar and nod at the bartender. “I’ll take another, please.”
Erik chuckles. “Slow down there, Lohan. Whatever got your panties in a bundle isn’t going to be solved with you stumbling your way around the city.”