“Which look do you prefer? Maybe I can practice it?”
“I’d rather you not. Look, can you close up; I need to go get Sophia.” She picks up her purse and phone from the table.
“Want company?”
“No, I don’t need help picking my daughter up. Have a great rest of your day,” she says as she starts to pass me. I reach out and gently grab her elbow to stop her.
“I miss you, Jules. God, I know I shouldn’t, but I fucking miss you,” I admit it for the first time out loud.
“I can’t do this, Lenny. I already told you that I can’t. I’m not in the market for another man to jump into my life and control it. I refuse to be some prize to stuff on the mantel and show off.”
“Is that what you think I want?”
“Isn’t it?”
“No, Jules, it’s not. What I want is for a partner to share in the joy and happiness of my day. A person I can share a conversation with over dinner, or just sitting down to enjoy a glass of wine. A lover I can worship every square inch of their body. You’d never be something that I could sit on the mantel and allow dust to collect over it. I’m not him, Jules.”
“That’s what I thought before, and we both know how that ended. Please respect me on this, Lenny.”
“I’m not sure I can, Jules. I need you to trust me.”
“Trust is earned, it’s not given,” she says as she pulls away from me.
“Shouldn’t it be given and then taken when it’s broken? Jules, I’m pretty fucking sure I haven’t broken it, and I don’t deserve to be placed in the same category as David. I’m nothing like him.”
“Maybe, maybe not, but still, in the end, it’s my choice, and I’m sticking to my word that this is nothing but professional.” Just like that, Jules is walking out the front door and out of my life once again. Pacing, I run my fingers through my hair as I try to come up with another plan. I’ll tread the water lightly, but one day she’ll realize that I meant what I said.
25
Jules
Trying to avoid Lenny is like trying to avoid flu season. One look and I’m wobbly in the knees. One thought and my heart beats faster. Is it bad that all I can think about while showing floor samples and tile designs is that I want to be in Lenny’s arms cuddled up and talking about our day together? That’s something that David and I never did. Well, no… I take that back. There was a short time when we were dating that he’d build a fire and we’d lay in front of it and talk about our hopes and dreams for the future. That all stopped the day I married him. No more cuddles, no more talks about the future, nothing that involved planning our life together. Maybe that’s what attracted me to Lenny. It wasn’t that he’s handsome and we have this amazing connection. It’s that he talks to me and truly listens to what I say. Plus, I like to hear what he has to say, too. When he starts talking about building new houses, his eyes light up with passion. It’s rare excitement to see with most people. It’s definitely one of the things that I miss the most about him.
Sophia has been hounding me about calling him and asking for forgiveness. According to my teenage daughter, he’s a catch, and at my age, those don’t just show up daily. I can’t get her to understand that I need time to be alone. Time to figure out who I am and what I want in life. Trust me, I know there are very few Lenny’s in the world, and I wish I could stop time and allow my heart to forget the betrayal from David. Just enough so I can open up and love Lenny like he deserves. I’m afraid that every late night he has, I’ll second guess his motives. That when he says he loves me, he’s said it to a million other people that day. That when he tells me I’m the one for him, it means that I’m the one for him in that moment.
Lacy and Anna have thrown in the towel on all things Lenny and me. They’ve tried to convince me that he isn’t David. In my head, I know this. My heart wants to believe their words, it’s just hard. I’m afraid that I’ll lose myself in Lenny. Forget the little bit of myself that I’ve gotten back.
“Mom, where are you?” Sophia asks, getting my attention.
“Sorry, just thinking. How’s your ice cream?”
“Great.” She shrugs.
“What’s bothering you, Sophia?”
“Nothing,” she says, looking into the cup of mint chocolate chip that she’s trying to savor.
“Something’s bothering you. Spill it or I’ll cut off your addiction to Leopold’s,” I say while listening to the quickness of her breath as she acts offended.
“There’s no use in even voicing my opinion.”
“Don’t you think you’re being dramatic?”
“Nope, just giving you a taste of your own medicine.” She smiles, and I laugh.
“Spill it, Sophia.”
“Fine, but just so you know I think you might want me to save this conversation for later because Mr. Ward just walked in,” she says with a smile plastered on her face, causing me to turn my head around so fast that I get dizzy and have to grab ahold of the table before I fall out of the chair.
“Great, just great,” I mumble under my breath and hope that Sophia nor Lenny heard me.
“Evening, ladies,” Lenny says as he leans against the back of the chair that’s empty between Sophia and me.
“Hi, Mr. Ward,” Sophia says with her bright eyes, and all I can muster up is a nod as I purse my lips together.
“Want to join us?” Sophia asks, and before I can interject, Lenny gives a sure and walks away to order his ice cream.
“Sophia!” I grit my teeth together as I say her name.
“What, Mom? If I don’t play Cupid, you’ll be one of those old maids with a million cats. You’re young and hot, and he is a total ten.”
“I can’t be taking dating advice from my almost sixteen-year-old.”
“Yes, you can. Aunt Lacy and Aunt Anna think so too.”
Lenny returns with a smile all over his face. I don’t even get a chance to say anything before he and Sophia are immersed in a full-blown conversation. Okay, fine, I admit it’s cute that he’s asking how she and her friends are and how school is going. He’s won her heart, that’s a given. Instead of interrupting their conversation, I lean back in my chair and continue eating my ice cream, avoiding them.
“What’s got your tongue?” Lenny asks, breaking me out of my thoughts.
“Nothing, it’s getting late, and Sophia has homework,” I say as I place my cup on the table and reach behind me for my purse.
“Mom, it’s Friday.”
“I’m sure you have something that you need to do.”
“Nope, but Mr. Ward invited us to the movies.”
“Not tonight, Sophia,” I answer, not looking in his direction. If I can avoid looking into his green eyes, I can stick to my guns on this.
“Mom, come on… What else are we going to do?”
“I have… I’ve got stuff to do, Sophia. Maybe another night.” I don't want to say, ‘Sorry I have a pile of laundry to do.’
“You’re no fun,” Sophia says, poking out her lip at me.
“It’s called being an adult, and I’m sure that Mr. Ward has other plans.”
“Nope, I was headed over to the movies and saw y’all sitting here. My schedule is wide open,” he says with a shrug.
“See, Mom, we should totally go.”
“Another time, Sophia. Go throw our stuff away, and I’ll meet you at the door.”
Sophia huffs and puffs all the way to the front and tosses our empty cups in the trash.
“Don’t do that, Lenny,” I say as I stand.
“I didn’t do anything. If you’d been listening it came up in conversation, and she mentioned that she’s been dying to see the new Avengers movie. I was being friendly; isn’t that what friends do?”
“Maybe another time. Have a good night,” I say while we walk away. When we get to the door, I stop and look back to find Lenny watching us—more me than us. My chest restricts from desire. I don’t know what I’m doing. I can honestly say I miss him, and I think that scares me more now
than getting hurt would. The more I see him, the more I want to reach out and touch him. Yes, I miss the sex, but I miss the connection that we had. It’s crazy that we’ve only known each other for such a short time, but it feels like years. Yes, over the years when we were younger, we knew of each other, but there were never conversations or anything other than a friendly hello in passing. My mother would place Lenny Ward in the good genes category. The one where they are considered good husband material. Great job, grade A family upbringing, and not to mention the class that she feels is appropriate for her daughter. But isn’t that what got me in trouble with David? That and the fact that I was head over heels in love with a man that I was blinded by.
Sophia and I head to the car in silence. It’s obvious that neither one of us are ready to deal with what happened at the ice cream shop… Not that I owe her an explanation. I know she means well and wants me to be happy, especially since she came home the other night and told me her father was actually dating someone—and when I say someone, I mean ONE person, and not twenty. It stung, I’ll admit it, but when I think about that, and what I found out about what happened between Lenny and David, I’m sure it’s all his parents’ doing and nothing else. David wouldn’t purposely screw up, knowing he could lose his inheritance.
Once Sophia and I are home, I drop my purse on the foyer table before heading to the kitchen. Sophia’s grabbing a glass of water when I enter the room.
“You know, Mom, he’s the good guy, right?”
“I know, Sophia. If it’s meant to be, it will be.”
“For it to ‘be,’ you gotta open up. Just saying…”
“When did you get so smart?”
“Five minutes ago.” She shrugs before walking past me and yelling good night as she disappears.
How is it that my teenage daughter has it all figured out, and I’m still trying to figure out how to get from point A to point B? Life is weird how it works, and then you mix love in there; it’s a hot mess that nobody wishes for.
26
Lenny
One Month Later
It’s been a month since I’ve touched Jules—since she’s let me close enough to just whisper in her ear. She’s made it clear that she’ll only deal with Blake, but what she doesn’t know is that he keeps me updated on all things “Jules.” I keep a close eye on her, making sure she’s safe and well; it gives me the chance to admire her from afar. No, I’m not stalking her, I just want to be close to her. There have been a few times that I’ve popped up at the model home to check in with my clients; it just so happens that Jules is there getting the final design elements hashed out. I keep it professional all while letting my eyes linger over her body a little longer than needed.
Jules shows up at Ward Properties twice a week for a few hours. It’s only to drop off paperwork, pick up contracts, and then she’s gone again. Today we’ve scheduled a meeting that requires her attendance. Blake has already told me that she RSVP’d to the invite and has given me my lecture, which I don’t need. As much as it kills me to watch her from this distance, I take what I can get. I’ve not been able to date nor look at another woman since that night at her parents’ house. Not to mention, there’s not a second that goes by that I want to explain how I feel about her. Blake’s support in the matter hasn’t helped. When I’m grumpy and taking it out on the staff, he tells me to get my shit together and figure out a way to get over her. It’s just not that simple.
Within twenty-four hours of putting up the stop sign on our building relationship, she moved into one of the houses that I showed her. I always knew it would be that one. I could tell from the way her eyes sparkled while taking in little upgrades. It offered everything she was looking for plus some for a reasonable price. The day Blake showed me her request, I’d instructed him to do whatever she needed. If she needed a moving company, hire one of ours and make it happen. There was no way I could sit back and know that she and Sophia were lifting heavy furniture. They deserve to be pampered, paid attention to, and not to mention their own space.
A knock on the door brings me back to what I should be doing: working.
“You ready?” Blake asks from the doorway, and I let out a long sigh before standing. Reaching over for my folders, I notice that Jules is in her office without the frosted panels set. It’s the first time in a month that she’s sat behind her desk without turning them on. That’s how I always know she’s here. The fucking glass that I thought we needed for privacy. I’d never wanted to remove that feature more than I have in the last month. With my eyes examining her, she lifts her chin toward me, offering a small smile. I nod and walk out of my office. Just the fact that she smiled gives me hope. Over the last few weeks when I run into her at the model homes, there’s not been a smile; it’s been a look of aggravation.
Entering the conference room, I take my chair and open the folders that we had Blake’s assistant put together. I don’t have to look to know the second Jules enters the room. I feel our connection. I’m not afraid to admit that my feelings have been all kinds of fucked up. I can still smell her in my house. I know, pretty weird for a guy like me to even say this, but it’s true. She’s everywhere; in my car, in my dreams, and in my bathroom. Like I said—everywhere.
I’m so lost in thought that I don’t notice her take the seat next to me.
“Lenny, Sophia asked me to give this to you. I know it’s last minute and since it’s Friday you probably already have plans, but… I just wanted to honor her wishes and hand this to you,” she says, and I can’t help the smirk that crosses my face as she rambles. The fire red blotches crease up her neck as she continues. I take the light pink envelope from her hand, making sure that my fingers touch the inside of her wrist. Her head falls forward, but her eyes stay focused on me.
“Thanks. Whatever it is, I’ll be there,” I say as Jules pulls her hand away from mine.
I slide my finger under the lip of the envelope before pulling out the card. Reading over it, I smile at the fact that Sophia is inviting me to her sweet sixteenth birthday.
I lean back, holding the card in my hand and flipping it back and forth. Turning toward Jules, I lean closer hoping that Blake doesn’t catch the interaction as he’d have my ass for sure this time.
“Do I need to RSVP?”
“No.”
“Was this your idea or Sophia’s?” It’s a dick move honestly, but I want to know who wants me there.
“What happens if I say it was both of ours?”
“I care about your daughter, Jules, but you and I both know only one of you is the one I’m in love with.” The moment I let that slip an audible intake of breath happens, getting the attention of the whole room.
Jules doesn’t look at me. Her face is focused straight ahead on Blake and his presentation that’s flipping kind of fast for him on the glass. Jules shifts in her seat, crossing her legs showing me a little more of her thighs. My cock twitches at the sheer sight. All I can picture are those legs wrapped around my waist. It’s been the only thing I’ve been able to picture for four very long weeks.
I want to reach over and slide my fingers against her thigh, but I refuse to be the one to start this up again. If Jules wants me back, she’s going to have to tell me—and I mean with words—not just her body, which has definitely been sending me signals.
The longer we sit here, the further away I am from work. I have no idea what Blake is going on and on about. Don’t get me wrong. He called this to let the staff know about a new development that we are acquiring. Which, in all reality, I don’t have to pay attention since I already know the details. Good thing it gives me the time to think about what to do with Jules and this invitation.
“Great meeting, everyone. Lenny and I are looking forward to this new adventure. Have a great weekend, see you all on Monday,” Blake says, gathering attention in the room.
“Thanks again, everyone, and like Blake said—go have a great weekend.”
Yes, we’re giving the whole office the rest
of the day off. It’s two in the afternoon, and our employees have worked their asses off for us over the last few weeks. Not to mention, I need to get a present and get a pep talk for how to handle this evening.
Jules stands from the chair next to me. Hovering over me she clears her throat as if she’s going to say something. Her plump lips open and close quickly.
“Jules, thanks for all the hard work on this one, we really appreciate it,” Blake intercepts her from saying something to me, bringing her focus on his statement.
“It’s my pleasure. This property is perfect; I can’t wait to see the model home.”
“We break ground next week, you should come,” Blake states like it’s nothing.
“I’ll check my calendar. Thanks for including me in today’s meeting. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a party to get ready for.” She’s not speaking to Blake this time. No, her eyes are directed at me. Those words are meant for me and me only. What’s she getting ready for I wonder? I glance at the invitation, noticing it’s at the country club. All that means from what I’ve learned is that this is all her mother. If Jules had anything to do with this party, it would be at her house where she can do it in her style. Tonight, is all about show, and nothing more than that.
“I’ll see you tonight.” I raise my eyebrows at Jules.
“Yes, I’ll see you tonight, Lenny. I’m sure Sophia will be happy to see you. She’s missed you,” Jules states, and I wonder why that is. Yes, I like her daughter, and we’ve hung out a few times. I read between lines, taking in the fact that there are still some lingering co-workers in the room. Is it code for she missed me? I glance at the clock; it’s two in the afternoon, and I won’t see her again until six this evening. I can wait, right? Sure I can.
“I hope you know what you’re doing,” comes from Blake as Jules exits the conference room.
“I have no idea what I’m doing. I just know that I won’t miss this party.”
Forty Candles: A Standalone Romantic Comedy Page 16