by Holley Trent
Again, he pushed aside the pain and thought about the end. The pain would be over soon. And the faster he got it over with, the less time he would spend in agony.
“Fuck all y’all,” he said the moment he got his human vocal cords back.
On his knees, he buried his face in his hands and rubbed his still-tingling skin.
“Fuck every single one of y’all.”
That wave of tiredness coiled through him—the one that punished him for putting his body through all that distress. It started up from his toes and surged toward his head, and it was going to knock him on his ass.
Shit.
At the sharp sting to his scalp, Eric looked up to find Soren had grabbed him by the hair.
He yanked Eric’s head back and made him look up. “Keep your eyes open,” Soren said.
“What the hell for?”
“Just keep them open.”
“You know what’s going to happen. I don’t understand the point of all this.”
“I’m proving the point right now.”
“God.” Eric blew out a long breath through his mouth, and Soren squatted in front of him.
Apparently, Eric blinked or breathed the wrong way or something, because Soren smacked him hard across the face.
“Keep your eyes open.”
“What the hell do you expect me to do? I just shifted twice in five minutes. I’m a made-Bear. I need to rest now.”
His eyelids drooped downward, and Soren slapped his other cheek.
“I’m going to kill you,” Eric said, scrambling up onto his feet. He gave Soren a hard shove backward, and the asshole had the gall to laugh.
“I’m sure you’ll try at some point. Maybe you’ll even succeed in getting the job done.”
Eric lunged at Soren again, and that time Bryan pushed him back.
“Soren, what’s your endgame here?” Bryan asked. “If you think we all need to shift to get some aggression out, that’s one thing, but we don’t have time for that nonsense right now.”
Soren crooked a thumb toward Eric. “Looks wakeful enough, huh?”
They all turned to Eric.
Bryan furrowed his brow. “Still want to lie down?”
Eric had to check in with himself to find the answer to that. He wouldn’t say no to a nap, but he didn’t think he was going to pass out if he didn’t get one. He just felt weary rather than like exhaustion had crashed into him like an out-of-control eighteen-wheeler.
“No,” he admitted. “I could probably go cook now.”
“What the hell is going on?” Astrid asked.
“I’d ask Eric, but I’m wondering now if he actually knows,” Bryan said. “You’re the instigator here, Soren. Obviously you know something we don’t.”
“Before we find out what Soren knows or doesn’t know,” Astrid interjected. “How about we find out why you saw fit to attack my brother? And don’t give me that alpha’s prerogative bullshit.”
“He’s a challenger,” Bryan said.
“Challenger of what?” Eric shouted. “I’m a fucking innkeeper who sometimes does favors for the Shrews. I don’t want your job.”
“Your energy is reading as if you do.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Soren put up his hands. “You should have just let me talk. I would have been the one with all the answers.” He handed Eric his clothes and walked to Bryan. “This happens every so often. I’ve seen it personally in the Bear groups elsewhere my father had business with.”
“What is the this?” Tamara asked. “Since you assholes kept me out of the loop for my entire life, I have no idea what’s possible for Bears.”
Soren gave his little sister a dismissive wave. “Bryan’s worried that he has another Gene on his hands—a usurper—but it’s not like that. Gene isn’t a strong Bear. He relies on the muscle around him. Quantity, not quality, at that. What we’re dealing with is a Bear with natural power.”
“But I’m a made-Bear,” Eric said.
“Doesn’t matter,” Soren said.
“Please explain to us in simple terms what’s happening here,” Astrid said. “You’re the expert. It’s your father’s job to know these things, and I imagine your knowledge base is almost as wide as his. Tell us what we’re dealing with and kill the suspense. Doc said I’m supposed to keep my blood pressure low.”
“Fine. In simple terms, what Eric is becoming is a factor of him being native to this area he lives and works in. He has an investment in the peace and safety of the area. This wouldn’t happen to a Bear who didn’t intend to stay for good. Bears are supposed to be peacekeepers.”
“But they’ve gotten away from that,” Tamara said.
“Because most don’t have the drive. If Eric had been aligned with Gene this wouldn’t happen. Bryan holds the trigger as the dominant Bear in the group.”
Bryan huffed. “Are you saying I’m the one to blame for this? That I created my own challenger?”
Tamara sighed. “He’s not a challenger, baby. I believe him when he says he doesn’t want your job. He doesn’t want it any more than Peter or Soren does, and they could certainly challenge you if they wanted to.”
“I sure as hell don’t want his job,” Eric muttered. He was glad there was reason for the weirdness, even if he didn’t understand why it was happening to him.
“What is the end result of this?” Astrid asked.
She was always the best at asking pertinent questions. It was the lawyer in her.
Soren shrugged. “Bryan gets a lieutenant, I guess. I imagine that in time, he’ll shift more like us born-Bears and won’t be so driven by the moon.”
Astrid let out a bark of laughter. “So, you’re telling us that because Eric’s heart is so good and pure he gets rewarded by the mysterious Bear gods so that he could help guard his territory?”
Soren didn’t laugh. He shrugged again and turned to Bryan. “I would have thought you would have liked some extra muscle on your side. No offense, but your cousins aren’t as strong as you, and the other born-Bears in your ragtag group are conditioned toward meekness.”
Benny groaned, and muttered, “I’d pick a fight, but it’s pointless because everyone knows it’s true that I’d get my ass handed to me.”
“It’s all right,” Bryan said to him. “You can’t help what you are. Gene headed our group for a long time, and I don’t think very many of us knew what we had the potential to be. I can’t force you guys to be more aggressive than you are. You can find other ways to keep the peace without throwing yourselves into fights.”
Soren started for the kitchen door. “That doesn’t mean some others won’t step up to get the job done, only that for right now, you need to groom what you’ve got. So fuckin’ hungry. Fighting always makes me hungry.”
Tamara followed him. “You weren’t the one fighting.”
“Still hungry. I’m a Bear.”
Eric pinched the bridge of his nose, shook his head, and then started after them. He needed to make sure they didn’t get into what he planned to cook for dinner.
Before he could step over the threshold, Bryan pressed a hand to his shoulder and held him back. “Hey.”
Eric turned to him, saw the turmoil written across his features. “Yeah. Don’t worry about it.”
“I should have known you weren’t up to anything, but sometimes the bear part of me and the man part don’t speak in one accord. I guess my inner bear was skeptical because you’d been away. It was the one time he wasn’t right about something.”
“I was gone long enough to be corrupted. I might have been suspicious of you, too, if the shoe had been on the other foot.”
“Yeah.”
“Just keep remembering that my home is here. I don’t want to invite trouble to my own back door. I don’t care how much Gene threatens me or what he offers me. I’m not going to be cowed by him or any of the folks he’s got in his inner circle.”
“Good.” Bryan gave Eric a hearty thump t
o the back and got them moving into the kitchen again. “Because I don’t know what’s going to happen next.”
“Maybe folks will start to quietly defect when Gene’s not paying attention.” Benny closed the kitchen door behind him and grabbed a couple of green apples out of the bowl on the side table. “That’s what we’re hoping, right? That there’ll be a kind of group-think once those notes start getting passed around, and they’ll just walk away?”
“Really, what’s he going to do if a bunch of people defect all at once?” Astrid asked. “He’s not going to go after every single person. He’s not going to have the manpower, and everyone knows it.”
“He’s gonna be angry,” Bryan said. “He’s gonna lash out and probably play some dirty tricks. Go after someone’s friends and family, probably. That’s gonna scare a lot of Bears back to him, but if folks know to expect it, they can guard themselves the best they can.”
“Exactly,” Soren said. “Make sure folks know the deal—that they shouldn’t go anywhere alone and that they should always be on their guards. Tell them to make sure they’ve got their families in safe situations, and not to have it so random assholes can sign Bear kids out of school or access information about them. It’d be nice to think that Gene would leave the kids alone, but he’s already demonstrated that he couldn’t give a shit about age. He doesn’t give a shit about anyone except himself. He’s a poor excuse for a Bear, and that’s why he’ll never been more than what he is. A pretender.”
Soren clapped Eric on the back a few times. “So. When’s food ready?”
“Get out of my kitchen so I can cook it.”
Soren backed away. “Okay. Okay. I guess I’ll go check on Dustin at the Bear dungeon and see how our detainees are holding up.”
“I’ll go with you,” Bryan said. “I’m curious to see if they’re more willing to talk if they know that we already have the majority of the information we’ve been asking them for.”
“I’ll go, too, and do my mind-bending law school grad thing on them,” Astrid said. “I’m good at making deals when I have enough information to throw at the other side. We just need to figure out what we can offer now to get them to give up the rest of what they know about Gene.”
“Maybe we can even find out some things about Gene’s family and get to them the same way he sends his flunkeys out to get to our families,” Eric said as he eyed his pantry shelves.
The footsteps behind him stooped.
He turned to see three Bears and two Shrews staring at him.
“What?” he asked.
“That’s a good idea,” Bryan said. “It’s the kind of dirtiness he wouldn’t expect from us. Snatching his lieutenants is one thing, but we should consider playing by his rules now and hitting him where he hurts.”
Tamara punched her husband’s bicep.
“Ow!”
Eric knew it had to hurt. He’d been punched by more than one Shrew. They were small, but mighty. He suspected that if she didn’t hold back, Tamara could punch a hole through a lesser shifter.
“We’re not hurting any kids or old people.”
Bryan glowered at her and rubbed his arm. “Shit, baby. I didn’t say we were. We’re not going to hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t need to know that, though.”
The kitchen emptied out, and Eric gave his head a shake and started laying out ingredients. He needed to put his brain on mindless things. Too many major events had occurred in less than a week, and at some point, he was going to have to go flat on his back to digest some of it.
There was the weird shit happening to him as a Bear. The ever-increasing political intrigue between Gene’s group and Bryan’s. The lodge needed major renovations that Eric was probably going to have to dip into savings to pay for. And then there was Maria…
If only his issue with her were simply a matter of thinking. He’d been doing a lot of thinking over the past few years, and he didn’t believe there was anything left to think about as far as she was concerned.
He’d told her everything. Gave her what he could. He’d still be her friend, but that was it. Anything else was up to her.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Maria was used to there being a thrum of activity at the lodge whenever she arrived, but apparently the season was inciting a level of unprecedented chaos.
She slipped through the front door with Dana on her heels, and fixed her bag over her shoulder. Furrowing her brow, she scanned the crowd clustered around the reception podium and finally found Eric in the middle.
She squeezed through the chattering guests and sidled up next to him. “Is this one group?”
“Nah.” He ran a credit card through the machine. “This is three. Two are on the way out, though. One’s coming in, and I’m expecting eight more folks by the time the morning ends.”
She cringed. “Is there anything I can do?”
“Really?” He raised an eyebrow incredulously.
Maybe she deserved it. She generally didn’t volunteer to do things for him. She’d always been the taker in their relationship, and that needed to change. “Yeah. I got a few minutes. Dana’s waiting on Patrick to catch up to her, and Bryan is supposed to meet us here.”
“Can you strip the beds in rooms two and three? I wouldn’t ask, but Astrid had an appointment this morning.”
“Okay.”
Before she could press through the crowd, he grabbed her by the wrist and gave her a gentle pull back.
“Maria?”
“Hmm?”
“Thanks.”
“Don’t worry about it.” She meant it. She envied him for being able to ask for help as easily as he did. It just wasn’t a big deal for him, and she wanted to get to that place herself.
She waited for the hug or a squeeze for him, and stood in surprised disappointment when he initiated neither. Managing a half grin, she bounded up the stairs, keys in hand, and headed first to room two.
She needed some busy work and time to gather her thoughts. She owed it to herself to fret, for once, about things unrelated to work, even if they made her sad. Even if they made her feel regret. She had to work through them.
Thinking of the slightly blurry picture her grandparents had texted her, her grin broadened even as her head swam. There was so much to process—emotions from so many events that needed filtering all at once. She found it hard to believe she had family that had real Thanksgiving meals and mailed holiday cards. Maybe the cards were trifling things to some people, but Maria hadn’t gotten them as a child. She’d moved too much—was sheltered too much from people who might have cared. She wanted those little connections almost as much as she craved stability in her life.
She hummed as she tied back the curtains and opened the window to let in some air.
Down in the parking lot, more cars pulled in, and she groaned for Eric. “When it rains, it pours.”
Folks didn’t usually show up all at the same time. There must have been some sort of event happening in the area that necessitated folks checking in simultaneously.
She pulled the sheets and pillowcases from the rumbled bed. She tossed those into the hallway along with the used washcloths and towels, and made her way down to the second floor utility room. In it, she found the cleaning cart and a walkie-talkie. She took both. She turned on the walkie and said into it, “Hey, innkeeper, where are the spare sheets?”
A moment later, Eric responded, “You know, you’ve got a voice made for radio, sweetheart.”
“Do I?”
“Mm-hmm. Entrancing.” He chuckled. “And the sheets are in the dryer, still tumbling. I’m behind this morning.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll get them when they’re done. Where’s the vacuum?”
“Uhh…might be in the closet where the water heater is. Astrid never puts it in the same place.”
“I’ll find it.” Maria clipped the walkie to the side of the cart and rolled the bin down the hall. She tossed all the dirty linens into the bag and stepped bac
k into the room with replacement toilet paper and toiletries.
She worked efficiently, turning the rooms over and restocking things—appreciating the simple, satisfying work. It was exactly what the doctor ordered.
As she ran the vacuum around and under the beds, and down the hallway, she sang, “Wakey-wakey,” to anyone in the rooms who could have possibly slept through that kind of racket.
She was in room two closing the window and cringing at the pollen that had clung to the sill in just that short period when Eric brought in sheets.
“You’re saving me a lot of time,” he said. “It’s always better to get folks into their rooms early than to have them sitting around in the lobby with their luggage and giving me doe eyes.”
She shrugged and grabbed one corner of the fitted sheet he unfurled. “I don’t mind. I can see where it’d be a bit backbreaking, but I guess I never had a chance to play house much as a kid, and now I enjoy doing it. I think I drove Astrid nuts with that. She’d come home from work and find I’d made her bed.”
Eric snorted and tucked the corner of the sheet under the mattress.
“Um… She got used to the intrusiveness, I think. I guess she figured it was easier to let me have my way.”
“You can come to the lodge and make beds whenever you’d like.” He nodded to the top sheet folded atop the dresser, and she grabbed it.
“I might take you up on that offer.”
“As if you don’t have enough to do already.”
She chewed on the inside of her cheek for a moment, then lifted the end of the mattress for the bottom of the sheet. “I…might have some mandatory vacation time coming.”
“Dana put you on leave?”
“Well, she threatened to. I told her that…” Shit. Sighing, Maria ground the heels of her palms against her eyes and shook her head. “I told her that I get…overwhelmed by some cases. I knew she was going to scold me about not feeding her enough information to make good decisions about which cases she assigns me to, but I didn’t expect that she’d pull the mean mama act on me.”
“If you didn’t expect that, you don’t know Dana very well.”