by Nelson, Cara
Chapter Twenty-Six:
No!
“Where in the hell is she,” I muttered, putting down my cellphone. I slumped against Jessie’s hotel room door. She wasn’t answering anywhere and no one had seen her all day. Damn it, how could she be so irresponsible…so flighty! I wanted to see her so I could shout at her and then hug her.
I rang Abena on her cell. “Hey, is Jessie with you? I’m trying to track her down.”
“Who is this?” Abena asked.
“Oh, sorry, it’s Simon.”
“Simon, no she’s not with me. She left to the university lab this morning.”
“Did she make it there?” I asked, pacing back and forth in the hotel’s hallway. Two people walked by me and looked at me suspiciously. I just turned my back to them.
“I don’t know. She took a cab, I think. I gave her a few words and a little dictionary. She wanted to go alone.”
“Okay, thanks.” I hung up. I had to before I said anything that I’d regret to Abena. She was an interpreter, not a babysitter. I don’t know what I was thinking…
An image of my brother disappearing that day so long ago came to my mind and I instantly grew more panicked. I called for my driver and we headed to the lab so I could see if she was there, maybe just not by her phone. If she got wrapped up in something, perhaps she’d lost track of time. Please may that be the case…
I ran up to the second floor where the lab was and my driver came with me, too. It seemed smart since he didn’t have the same communication barrier I did. As we ran into the building, I ran ahead and he was behind me trying to keep up with me but rather unsuccessfully, as his lumbered breathing indicated.
The door was closed, but the lights were on. I turned the doorknob, but it was locked. I started pounding.
“Jessie, hey Jessie,” I shouted. I looked through the glass side panel of the door and didn’t see anyone.
Creak. Creak. Creak. I turned around to see a janitor with a squeaky wheel on his garbage can slowly walking down the hallway, deep in thought. “Hey, I need to get into the lab,” I said.
He looked at me oddly. Figures! He didn’t speak English.
I looked to my driver, who looked at the janitor and spoke in Swahili.
I saw the janitor shaking his head no and saying something.
“What did he say?” I asked.
“He can’t let you in. Everyone is gone, it’ll have to be tomorrow.”
“If everyone is gone, where is Jessie? Ask him who the head of the lab is.”
The driver spoke to the janitor again and then told me, “Dr. Hanisi Okoro.”
“How can we get a hold of him?” I asked. It was excruciating for an impatient guy to sit there and wait for translations. Not understanding what they were saying was grating on my last nerve. Plus, everything they said seemed like it was four times as long as what I said. I had no control and that didn’t sit well with me.
“The janitor doesn’t know,” the driver said. Then he added, “Let me make a few calls, okay?”
“Fine,” I said. I kept glancing in through the window, hoping that someone would appear and then I tried to call Jessie again. Still no answer.
Finally, the driver said, “Good news. I have a number.”
“Great, what is it?” I asked.
“I’d better call, Simon. No offense, but you wound up and the guy not share anything with you. He may not even speak English.”
I snarled. He was right, of course, but it was just one more thing to remind me that I was not in control of this situation. Fuck!
This time I stared at the driver the entire time that he was on the phone. I didn’t have to know what he was saying to know that he was sharing some sort of formality that must be part of local customs. Accepting it was excruciating. When he was hung up, before I could even open my mouth to ask him what the guy said, he was already talking to me. “They went out to the rainforest this morning, but didn’t make it back before the lab closed.”
“What? And they weren’t concerned about that?” I shouted. My voice echoed in the white hallway with the older linoleum tiled floor.
“No, this is not uncommon. It’s a few hours away. They’re probably just running late, or maybe eating somewhere.”
“I don’t buy it. Something happened and I am not going to relax until I find out exactly what it is. I need you to take me to the rainforest right now.”
“It’s dark and that’s across borders; it’s not smart,” the driver said.
“So, you won’t do it?” I demanded, folding my arms so I didn’t punch him, which is what I felt like doing.
“No, but you must calm down. You can’t be rude when you want help,” the driver said. “Take deep breath, Mr. Jefferson.”
He was right. It was hard, but I breathed in and tried to let ration take over my fear. “I’m sorry, okay, you’re right. Who do you know that can drive me that way tonight? Are there many paths into the rainforest?”
“I believe there’s only one that is mostly taken from this direction.”
“Take me to this guy. Is he far away?”
“I’ll take you tomorrow,” Roble, the guy the driver had referred me to said.
“We need to go right now,” I countered. “What will it cost?”
“It’s all about money to you Americans. The rainforest is a dangerous place at night, not safe and only a fool would go there,” he said.
“If it’s not safe that’s exactly why we have to go there. Jessie may be there and I need to find her. You are a tracker…isn’t this what you do?”
“This Jessie…is she your girlfriend?”
“She’s someone I care about greatly. We have to find her tonight. It’s imperative. Please, whatever it takes,” I said, finally breaking down. I didn’t have the energy to be angry any longer. I just wanted someone to help me catch a break. It was true, I couldn’t just demand what I wanted here. It didn’t work that way.
I stared at Roble, showing that I’d surrendered but hoping my non-verbal plea was screaming at him.
“We eat and then we go,” Roble said, rubbing his rather robust belly. Maybe he was a big game tracker because he definitely looked well fed.
“Fine, okay. How long will that take?” I shouldn’t have asked. It took one hour and I ate, too, because he said I must, even though I didn’t understand why and then we took off into the night. He had a rickety old truck with a big engine in it and the inside was as bare as could be. The outside had large floodlights though and as we went along, he gave me more confidence with each passing mile. “These tire tracks are from today, a Jeep,” he said.
Chapter Twenty-Seven:
When the Charm Wears Off
Okay, the charm that I initially felt about being stuck in the rainforest had worn off and now I was sick of laughing, hungry for a steak, and wondering if I might freeze to death in this rainforest turned icy.
Jahi was kind and gave me his hoodie to wear for a bit, but I saw him freezing, too, so I didn’t want to keep it on for long. There wasn’t a lot of dry timber on the ground, either, so our fire wasn’t too big, really bordering on being closer to a steam bath than a roaring bonfire, or even a small warm one like I pictured cowboys would have back in the day.
I sighed. “You okay?” Barika asked.
“Yeah, just a bit antsy, I guess.”
“You miss that fella?” she asked, grinning at me and raising her eyebrows. I could barely see her do it, but the light was enough to catch it. It made me smile.
“That fella. His name is Simon.”
“He’s very handsome, eyes like the ocean with sun reflecting on them.”
“Yes, he is very handsome.”
“Is he your boyfriend?”
“No, we just know each other through friends. He’s agreed to help me with my project.”
“Only special man would do that, no?”
I nodded. “He is special, but not boyfriend.”
“He watches you like a boyfriend,
” Barika said.
Her words warmed my heart and made me start giggling. Soon enough, I was out of the temporary slump I was in and found that with the right attitude, I felt warmer despite the temperature likely dropping.
Jahi and Barika started to sing a song. It was a folktale that they were both raised with and it sounded so pretty. I was drawn in:
Lululu, mwana wa lilanji,
Luluhi, mwana wa kanda!
Luluhi, mwana wa lilanji,
Lululu, mwana wa kanda!
Lululu, Kindchen, warum weinst du?
Lululu, verwöhntes kleines Kind!
Lululu, Kindchen, warum weinst du?
Lululu, verwöhntes kleines Kind!
When they were done, Louis and I clapped.
“That was so beautiful,” I said. “what does it mean?”.
Jahi said, “Ha! that mother, who takes her food alone. Ha! that mother, before she has eaten. Ha! that mother she says, ‘Lull the children for me’. Ha! that mother when she has finished to eat. Ha! that mother she says ‘Give the child to me.’”
“Well, that’s not what I was expecting. It sounded so sweet and calming, but now it seems like that mom was just being bossy.” Everyone was quiet and I thought I might have offended them, but then they burst out into laughter that was so infectious that it made me laugh, too.
We were laughing away when Jahi pointed behind me and raised his hand over his mouth to indicate that we quiet down. All of us turned around and we saw lights between the thick branches that almost looked like fireflies, but of course they got bigger and bigger as they came closer and then I realized they were headlights.
Was that good or bad? I had no idea.
Then I heard a loud, booming voice call out, “Hodi,” which was ‘hello’ in Swahili. And after that, I heard, “Jessie! Jessie!”
It was Simon! I jumped up and called out, “Simon.”
Then he charged through the bushes like a lion in hiding and froze. We stared at each other and I was so happy to see him. My cheeks immediately went to aching, thanks to the ridiculously large grin on my face. I was fully aware that I probably looked a bit insane.
Chapter Twenty-Eight:
Speechless
Jessie was smiling and so was everyone else around her. Plus, I’d heard laughter. At that moment it occurred to me that I’d completely overreacted. Granted, she wasn’t a woman in need of saving at all. It was me who’d felt I needed to save her. Still, I was so glad to see her.
“Jessie,” I said, running up to her and hugging her in my arms. “My God, you’re freezing.” I quickly took off my jacket and wrapped it around her.
“Simon, I can’t believe you found me…us…how?” she asked me, hugging me back tightly.
I leaned back just enough to see her face and lifted my hands to cup her face. “You just disappeared. Roble there, he’s a tracker.” She looked over to him and he was talking with the others, laughing and saying something that I didn’t understand.
“Yeah, the Jeep broke down. What a day, though, Simon. These plants and what these guys are doing is so incredible. I’ve never thought that they could have this much done. I mean, it’s not published yet, so who knew…”
I put my finger over her lips and stared at her. She was so alive with excitement and energy, which was normally appealing, but she seemed oblivious to the fact that I’d just come and found her because I was worried that she wasn’t okay. Too much was happening and I felt like I’d lost all control and spiraled into some unknown, completely unpredictable guy’s body.
My arms flung around her again and I planted a huge kiss on her lips to quiet her down. Her breath tasted like a coconut and she was as intoxicating to me as I imagined a rum and coke would be.
“Damn it, Jessie. I’m so glad you’re safe. I don’t know what I would have done if something happened.”
“I’m fine, Simon, really,” she gave me a bemused smile as she stared at me, her green eyes reflecting the flames of the fire.
I was about four times as amped up as her and I couldn’t calm down and I was so confused. My agitation must have gotten the better of me because that’s when I shouted, “I love you!”
Chapter Twenty-Nine:
What?
My heart stopped beating and my stomach did a flop as the rainforest echoed what I’d thought I heard Simon Jefferson say to me. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” So what did I do? I fumbled out a very non-loquacious, “What?”
“I love you,” he said again.
But this time his words came out differently. They sounded more polished, controlled, and planned, not like the unexpected confession—maybe error—he’s just said. Then I spoke more idiotic words. “You do?” Honestly, I was so in shock that I just couldn’t say it. I was also aware that there was complete silence around us, everyone waiting to see what would happen next.
I did think, I love you, too, Simon. I just couldn’t say it at that moment. I’d messed up the moment with how I’d handled it. Plus, how could this really be possible? I’d give infatuation and lust to him, definitely, but love—that was massive! Could love really happen that quickly? Yes, it can, I thought next. Yes, it can.
I grabbed Simon’s hand and guided him to behind a bush where there would be no prying eyes on us. I couldn’t see his face, but I needed a few seconds to collect my thoughts. I was stuck on the borderline of fairytale awesomeness and practicality. God, practicality was a buzz kill at times.
When we were in the safety of the bushes, I looked at Simon again and I saw a guy who was completely tripped up. It showed even in the darkness and I wasn’t sure if it was because of how I’d responded or it was all on him as he evaluated what he’d said—twice. The first time could have been accidental, but the second time definitely was not.
“So, you said something back there. Why don’t you tell me more about it?” I asked. I kept holding his hands, loving the way they felt touching mine and feeling like that connection at this very moment was absolutely necessary.
Chapter Thirty:
Backtracking or Moving On
I could have claimed the ‘passion of the moment,’ but I didn’t. I said it again and she didn’t say it back. Perhaps it was arrogance, but I’d assumed that whenever I said that to a woman that she’d automatically say it back. Well, it was another surprise about Jessie Martineau, but one that I would have been okay to not learn.
“Simon, do you really love me?” Jessie asked me. I saw kindness and curiosity in her eyes. It was hope and it was caution, too.
“I, uh…” I choked on my words and wasn’t able to speak, but I was able to quiet Jessie down so that’s what I did.
Leaning into her chilly body, I pressed my lips against hers and kissed her hard. She responded and I felt her arms wrap around me, accepting my physical gesture. It felt like we were glued together as we celebrated something…I don’t know what it was for her, but I was damn glad to see her. It had been a hard day without her because I’d missed her and thought about her. But the minute she’d ‘gone missing,’ the day turned agonizing, a nightmare I’d hoped never to relive.
Our bodies were so close that Jessie’s heart throbbed against mine, as if her blood was flowing into my body. The more we remained connected, the faster it went and the more relaxed we became, desperation turned into a desire to consume each other.
Something made the bushes behind Jessie start to rustle and I opened my eyes, remembering that I was in the rainforest and it may not be all that safe, but it was nothing other than Jessie’s body touching the branches. We’d managed to move backwards just a bit.
Although her body was cold, Jessie’s hand was warm as she slid it into my jeans and began to stroke me, making me feel so aroused I wanted to yank her shorts down and have at it right then and there. It was an adventure I was willing to participate in.
Her hot breath on my neck as she leaned in to nibble my earlobe, all the while stroking my cock, made me instantly warm. It could have been a
100° at that moment, not a mere 60°. Her lips tickled my ear as she drew in her breath and then exhaled, whispering an “I love you, too,” with it.
I’d just said it and I’d meant it—I think, but now that she said it, my logical side took over. I leaned back and looked into her eyes. Did she want to hear it again? I couldn’t see her enough to know. It was too dark. I put my finger up to her mouth and neither of us moved.
Now every sound in the forest came to life, but none as much as the voices of everyone on the other side of the bush. “Jessie,” someone yelled, “let’s get going. Where are you?”
Roble called out my name. “Coming,” I yelled.
Chapter Thirty-One:
Internalizing
Roble insisted I sit in the cab, between him and Simon, but if anything, the suggestion made Simon more tense, to say the least. It wasn’t like I expected anything intimate, but we were all so quiet. Tired, too, but it was enough time for me to go into overdrive with evaluation of his I love you, and then later, mine. Of course, I hadn’t said it back right away when he said it, but once I did, I still expected that Simon would say it, too. My inner conscious screamed that was a lame expectation and love didn’t work that way. Still…
I yawned. “You tired?” Simon asked.
“Yeah, I am,” I said.
“We be back just before sun come up,” Roble said.
“Okay,” I said.
I turned to Simon. “What’s on the plate for tomorrow? I mean, today.”
“You can catch up on your sleep. Everything I have to do doesn’t require that you be there,” he said to me.
“Do you want me there?” I asked. What a loaded question. It was kind of naughty of me, but I didn’t care. I had committed myself by saying the three big words and I would never say them if I didn’t mean them. The question was, did he?