“Thank you,” she said. She was almost panting as much as me.
“That was the best thing ever.” It sounded dumb but it was true.
“Next time we’ll do it on a bed,” she said. “You’d be less scared on a bed. I just really couldn’t wait.”
“Never wait.” I reached over, patting the ground until I found her hand and laced our fingers. “I want to try everything with you.”
“That sounds like fun,” she said. “I wish you didn’t have to go home tonight. I’d love to exhaust you.”
I chuckled. “You kid but I’m not above sneaking you into my room.”
“Don’t offer if you can’t deliver,” she said. “Maybe we need a night apart.”
“For what?” I scrunched my brow and turned my head to look at her.
“Just to think about each other,” she said, staring back. I felt her hand come up to my face and lightly touch it as she watched me breathe. She slipped her finger into my mouth and I watched her eyes flutter as I looked at her.
I sucked on it, hard, wanting to make her regret even thinking about us spending time apart. I reached up and held her hand closer, taking another finger in and running my tongue up and down, swirling it and then taking them out. “You’d rather think about me than touch me?”
“You make everything painful,” she swallowed as if it hurt.
“What do you mean.”
Now, I felt like an asshole.
“I’m greedy,” she said. “I want you so much all the time. Having a little of you, even just a thought, feels overwhelming. So when I have you like this it’s the best sort of pain. I have so much of you but I still want more. I can’t recover. I’ll never be satisfied when it comes to you. Does that make any sense at all?”
“Yeah, it does. I feel like I got lost in the desert and you’re water.” I looked back at the few stars I could see through the light pollution. “Is it bad that I always want more than I can take?”
“I don’t know if it’s bad but I know I feel the same.” She rolled over on her side to face me but she laid her head on her hands and let her eyes drop. “I think I’m gonna be sad now,” she said. “I don’t like the thought of having to leave you tonight. I was trying to psych myself out but it backfired.”
I watched her, memorizing everything about this moment. “I guess we better try and deal with it since we can’t just keep sneaking around. It does seem a shame though since tonight is our last night of freedom.”
“It is a shame,” she said, moving to sit up and then sink back into the hot tub.
I turned and watched as she fished her top out of the water and put it back on before sitting down.
“I’m going to be texting you constantly. You’re going to have to tell me to shut up.”
I just didn’t want to be a pest but I couldn’t help it. Thinking through being without her was putting me in a desperate mood.
“You’re sure you don’t want to sneak in?” I was smiling, trying to make it a light question.
“Don’t ask me that if you don’t want it to happen,” she said gruffly.
“Of course, I want it to happen. I think it’s dumb for us to be apart tonight. Tomorrow night sure, we have school the next morning and everything. Tomorrow is Sunday and there’s no reason for us to get up.”
“I want to be with you,” she said.
“And I want you with me. My dad will probably go to bed as soon as I get home. He’s usually not up past eight so ten is really stretching it for him.”
I could practically see the life returning to her face and body.
“I’m not even sure I could sleep without you at this point.”
I’d become addicted to having her as an anchor and without her I’d be restless and wondering what she was doing and how she was feeling. I’d float around mentally and never rest.
“I can just let you in the back door when I know he’s asleep. You can park your car down that side of the street.”
“What would happen though… If he found out?”
“He’d probably just tell you to go home and then give me a lecture.”
I felt like he would cut me some slack now. Especially, if he talked to Mom on the phone right after my visit. She was good at talking sense into people.
“I doubt he would punish me.”
“I just don’t want things to get worse,” Olivia said. “My worst fear with telling my parents is that they’ll pull me out of Huntington and house-arrest me. If they wanted, they could pay someone to supervise me at all hours of the day. The only way out of all that would be for me to move out, drop out. They wouldn’t let me drop out. It’d be complicated. A lot of fighting. But that’s my worst fear so it’s probably not even rationally a thing that would happen. I read too much. Think too much about what could go wrong.”
“That would truly be the most tragic thing and I know that it’s scary. Would they notice you gone? You don’t have to worry about my dad on that. He wouldn’t contact your parents unless one of us was hurt or doing something illegal.”
“A lot of people consider this illegal,” she said. “But no, if I locked my door they would just think I fell asleep. For all I know they might not even come home. They really do take random trips to random places all the time, especially on the weekends.”
“I’m willing to chance it if you are. I don’t think he will even notice.”
“Okay,” Olivia said.
“It’s settled then. We should probably get some dinner before.”
Chapter Fourteen
Olivia
I’d waited all day to take her in my own way and it was definitely over far too soon. I liked her by my pool in my world. The night sky hung above us and framed her magnificently. The water of the pool quietly sloshed and the jets bubbled as I entered her and took, tasting her overly sensitive sex and feeling her soft trembling legs on either side of my face.
There was nothing comparable. No quotes I could summon. No movie scenes I could retell. I’d had Nat out by the pool before but it was nothing like this. Nat was strong and she’d relished in taking me against the pool wall. I remember it felt naughty. But there was pain and she wouldn’t let me touch her back which made me bitter.
This with Avery was far more than that. This wasn’t about feeling naughty or doing something new or being punished. This was about treating her, treating myself.
All the talk from the day, all the events, it was far more than I could handle.
When Avery mentioned me sneaking into her house all I could think was how it was probably a bad idea.
Avery was bold.
Her father didn’t seem like the kind of person who was interested in giving her space.
I thought of him walking in on us, my tongue deep in his daughter, my own sex throbbing from want.
That would not go over well.
The more I thought about telling my parents the more idiotic it seemed.
Avery’s mom made me think I was the scum of the Earth for not telling them. It took me all day to really see that I was being smart and not stupid. Of course it would be nice to have my parents know. Of course I was proud of this, proud of us.
But the truth of the matter was, as soon as all the parents knew the chances were much more likely that Avery and I would be kept apart a lot more.
I really didn’t think my parents would pull me out of school. That was the most extreme reaction they could have. If I’d met Avery just a year before they would’ve pulled me out of that school so fast it would’ve made my head spin.
Again, I thanked our timing and let out a relieved sigh.
Our timing was perfect. We only had a few months left.
I was 18. I was already an adult.
If I had to I could move out and keep Huntington.
I could get an apartment close to school.
I could be alone, really alone.
The thought of that actually inspired me.
Avery dipped back down into the water a
nd I helped her dress.
“I’m sorry about all this,” I said nervously. We always seemed to go from 0 to 60. We were a lot more dangerous than those car commercials with the cliffs and the speed.
I’d kind of taken over her, kind of had my way.
She hadn’t given me a choice. I asked three times and she never said.
As I neared her and helped her pull her suit up she pulled me into her and kissed me.
“Don’t ever apologize for that,” she said, probably tasting herself on my tongue.
Somehow when she kissed me it was still more powerful than the times when we fucked.
I didn’t know how to explain that to her and time was always an issue. We needed to change now and eat. We needed to shape up or ship out as the navy men say.
“You okay?” She asked, watching me.
“Yeah,” I sighed. I was never really okay though. There was always too much going on, too much to think about.
“I hate when you get all quiet,” she said.
“It’s never about you,” I said, taking the stairs and offering her my hand.
Outside, the air was so cold now. I hadn’t really noticed before. Avery must’ve been freezing.
I laughed to myself. I really had been torturing her.
“What?” She asked, a queer smile chasing her.
“Nothing,” I smiled more.
There were towels just inside the doors and I pulled them out, holding one open for her and capturing her inside of it.
“No dripping in the house,” I teased.
Her face was so cute I almost hated her for it.
I used my hands to help her dry.
“Hey, you too,” she said, taking my towel away and wrapping it around me.
Soon as I was inside of it she pulled me in and kissed me in the dark. I felt my body weak from all the things she’d already done to me throughout the day.
There were noises inside.
“Uh-oh,” I said. “Honeymoon’s over.”
Avery froze, looking frazzled.
“It’s fine,” I smiled.
I moved my hand to the inside of the house and turned on the porch light. We’d been out so long it’d gotten very dark.
If my parents thought we were swimming in the dark they might say something weird.
I continued to dry myself, this time a bit more rigorously.
Avery followed my lead, brushing the towel along her legs and then trying to at least squeeze the water from her hair.
“Olivia?”
I heard my mother calling from inside and I looked up.
“Out here, Mom!” I yelled. She’d find me if she wanted to find me. May as well make it easy for her.
“Honey? Oh,” she said, seeing Avery for the very first time. “You have a guest?”
“Yes,” I said, smiling. “Mom, this is Avery Lockhart.”
I wanted my mom to see her first. I wanted my mom to know her first.
With Avery’s mom I’d made a mistake. Your first time meeting someone’s parents should never feel like an ambush.
“Avery,” my mom said stepping forward and holding out her hand. “You’ll have to excuse me, Olivia doesn’t usually have guests over. This is quite a surprise.”
“It’s an honor to meet you Justice Holbrook. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“All good I hope?” My mom sardonically teased. She was smooth with others, only I could read her mind. Believe me, her mind was screaming with interest. I never showed her much about my real life, until now.
“Avery swims for Huntington,” I said, giving her something. It wasn’t about selling Avery it was about letting my mom know that Avery was special regardless of how she felt about seeing us here. “She’s really good. A shoo-in for nationals.”
“Oh,” my mom said. I could tell she was confused. Since when do you give a fuck about sports? That’s probably what she was thinking.
“Honey?” My dad was home too. “Oh,” he said, his brow furrowing as he came close and saw Avery and I on the patio in nothing but towels.
I was so happy I’d turned that dumb light on. The way my parents were standing now, it almost felt like we weren’t allowed to go back inside.
They hovered just inside the door, setting an accidental boundary. I know they hadn’t meant to do it but that was probably how Avery felt right now like she was on the outside.
“Dad, this is Avery Lockhart. Her father’s a Captain in the navy. He just came back from his fourth tour away.”
It was a lot of information. I wasn’t sure which to give first.
“Avery’s a swimmer,” my mom said to my dad. She was trying to explain to him, why I was outside with someone in our yard and soaking wet. I noticed my mother looking back at him mid-shock. They were intrigued.
I never had people over. This was my own damn fault.
I could see my mother trying to assess us, trying to understand what it all meant. There was amusement and I saw it.
“Well,” my mom said, clapping her hands together. “You two should get cleaned up!” She was avoiding us and running her hand behind her neck. “Your father and I are going to The Inn for dinner. The day we had, we deserve some expensive wine and a few good stories. You should come Olivia. Avery too.”
Shit.
So much for a romantic dinner alone.
“Okay,” I felt myself saying. My hand had landed itself on my stomach. I would have a hard time eating with all these nerves. I’d thrown up breakfast, I was running on sex alone. This wasn’t good.
My parents walked away. Avery looked over at me. We both looked like we’d been caught or shot. She was looking to me for reassurance but I couldn’t really give it.
I pushed her into the house with both of my hands. No point pretending we weren’t just drenched after that.
My house had several showers. It wouldn’t be right if we both went in the same one without much of a warning to Mom or Dad.
I walked up the stairs, nervously keeping my distance from Avery, and when we got in the room I shut the door softly.
“Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t know they’d come home.”
“It’s fine. I’m not worried about me,” she said. “Are you okay?”
“Not really,” I smiled, despite the truth of it. I could handle a few seconds with them right now but a whole dinner WITH Avery?!
This was nerve-racking, no doubt.
“You should use the shower across the hall,” I said, getting into business mode. “I’ll use the guest room bath. It’ll be fine.”
Avery stepped closer and pulled me into her. I felt her hands on my face as she pulled me in and kissed me tenderly, waking me up to her. I felt something swimming inside of me. She was reminding me I was loved. I actually felt myself breaking. Her kisses gave me permission to be so tender and weak sometimes that I whimpered, especially when I already knew I was a wreck. Her love was so delicate I ached for it when I needed her.
She pulled me into her body and held me.
“It will be fine,” she whispered. Her strong arms always convinced me not to be afraid.
“Okay,” I said, trusting her.
I didn’t want to tell them our truth though, not yet.
I wondered if I should warn her?
“They-they might make it hard,” I said. “They’ll make us talk.”
“That’s fine,” Avery laughed.
“Not really,” I said. “I want them to know you before…”
“Before?”
“I want them to get to know you before I tell them.”
“Oh,” she said, worry occupying her mind.
“I realized before, I wasn’t being stupid. I was being smart.”
“What do you mean?” Avery asked.
“When your mom asked me earlier if my parents knew? I felt horrible,” I swallowed, remembering the bile in my throat. “It took me all day to realize a few important things.”
“Which are?” Avery asked, trying her best to u
nderstand.
“For one, they don’t deserve to know. Not yet. And for two, them not knowing is the smartest thing for us right now.”
I didn’t want her to think I was making excuses for not telling them. That’s not what this was.
“It’s fine,” she promised. “You know them and how they’re going to take things. You shouldn’t tell them before you think it’s a good idea. I know you’re not trying to hide for the wrong reasons. I’ll do whatever you want. Plus, they kind of scare me.”
It was hard not to feel like a coward and an asshole.
Her mom had made me doubt myself earlier. With her mom’s question and that gaze on me I knew it came off a certain way. That I’d put a ring on Avery’s finger without first talking to her parents or even mine. I wasn’t old-school or anything. This wasn’t about tradition. What it was about was guilt and courtesy, a small shred of respect. Avery’s mom made me feel like I was being a coward.
But this wasn’t about that. My slowness in telling my parents wasn’t about that.
Avery had her way. I had mine. Avery was right.
I had to realize that for myself.
“I know,” I said. I couldn’t protect her from them. They would be all about getting to the bottom of what she was to me. I had to be strong.
“It’s just intimidation,” I said. “It’s nothing more. They don’t know who you are or what you’ve been through. They don’t know anything Avery. But they are going to pick. That’s what they do. They just always have the moral high ground.”
Them not knowing her was part of the problem. It’d be different if she had already been around, been in my life. I understood skepticism from other people about us. We hadn’t been close for even a month, yet we were devoted. Skepticism made sense.
“I can take it,” she said, nodding. “I can answer their questions. It’s not really a big deal.”
She stood a little straighter and centered herself. Her bravado made me smile a little. It was clear that she was freaking out, but only a little.
“You really don’t have to do this,” I laughed, loving her.
Paper Dolls [Book Two] Page 17