by Nick James
When I did start embracing the criminal fraternity into my shop, I had an issue with waste management, but then I had a eureka moment. The shop had a small garden and yard out the back, so I bought a pair of breeding pigs, which did the trick.
I found that my condition settled down as time went on. To keep the demon at rest I had to feed every couple of days, but this was dependent on the energy I had used. Luckily, thanks to the nice dark cellar and rope, where Toby the Ice Pick Thompson or others of his ilk tended to hang, such specimens could last over a few nights. And I found that not draining them dry allowed me to keep them alive and juicy. When their hearts failed, they then became piggy food.
After the first litter of piglets arrived, I moved the sow and her babies into another run so the piglets would feed on the mother’s milk and normal scraps. Then I left the boar, who I nicknamed Killer, to carry on with my waste removal needs. Suzie would sell the piglets at a later date, mainly to her friends and family, and I gave her family the biggest as a thank you. It was either that or she would’ve stolen it anyway.
One evening we sat in the back room together, it was now March 1889 and the business was thriving, so I bought us a nice bottle of wine to share. Although Suzie admitted to being a beer-loving girl, it didn’t stop her trying it. I had learnt that I could eat and drink in the usual way of humans, but it just didn’t give me the energy I needed.
‘Albert, when you gonna do some courting, love?’ she asked in her no-nonsense way. ‘What about that girl…? What’s her name?’ She tapped her lone front tooth. ‘Anna?’
I had to smile. ‘Annabel, she’s a maid in a house on the Strand,’ I replied and took a sip of wine.
‘Ah, I see. So why don’t ya walk out with her, then? You talk about ya schooldays all the time.’ She then gave her vast cleavage a scratch with a broken nail, where she had punched the pig named Killer because he nuzzled her where she didn’t want him to.
‘I wish I could, but you know my condition with the sun. You can’t go knocking on doors in that part of town at night,’ I explained, to which she gave a forced laugh. I frowned. ‘What’s so funny?’
‘There’s something going on with you, Albert. I have seen you out and about but never once in the bloody daylight. You sleep most of the day, then you wander the streets in the early mornings,’ she said, narrowing her eyes at me.
I heard something metallic being slid out of something leather. I knew she had a knife, so I guess she was worried. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. ‘What can I say? I do have a condition that stops me going out in the daylight. That isn’t a lie,’ I explained sincerely, looking at her. ‘And I do some of the best business in the early hours. What do you think I am, a killer or something?’
She shrugged her large, well-rounded shoulders. ‘I’ve been around, Albert. I have seen some shit and stood toe to toe with some real bad men, and you, son, are not a bad man,’ Suzie replied and took another draught. ‘But something is off here. And if you want to continue our partnership, I want the truth.’
A dark laugh escaped my lips, which made Suzie slam her knife onto the counter and growl like a feral dog.
‘Somehow I think the truth is somewhat scarier than any lie you or I can think up, Suzie.’
‘I doubt that. Just remember this, Albert, I will keep your secrets, but if you lie to me again I will bury you!’ she snapped before draining her drink. ‘Oh, and Killer doesn’t eat everything you throw in there, so think on that before you lie to me.’
I nodded. ‘Okay, you got me, watch my mouth,’ I instructed. As she looked, I lengthened my incisor.
She grabbed at her knife and threw it at me as she scrabbled back, sending stock to the floor. ‘What the fuck are you?’ she shouted, wide-eyed.
‘Well, Suzie, take a seat and I will tell you,’ I said calmly and watched her lift up her chair and sit down, but noticeably further away. ‘Did you want your knife back?’ I asked, pointing to the handle protruding from my shoulder.
Her eyes got even wider. ‘Shit. Doesn’t that hurt, Albert?’
‘Emotionally and physically, yes, I guess it does, but not that much if I’m honest.’ I smiled, and with a squelch I pulled the knife from my shoulder and placed it onto the counter. ‘Well, not so long ago I was bitten in a fight and infected, which turned me into what you see before you.’
I saw her nod as she slowly picked up the knife and held it securely in her meaty hand.
I continued to explain, ‘Have you heard the term “vampire”?’
‘Wot, like in the stories? Sucking blood from virgins and such like?’ she asked with fear in her voice and sweat on her brow.
‘Yes. Although, to be honest, you’d be hard pushed to find many virgins around here, Suzie,’ I said and laughed, which did bring a faint smile to her face. ‘I feed on those who break the law, and mainly the ones who hurt people. They deserve it.’
The room went quiet for a long moment.
‘So, what happened to the bloke who bit you? Is he still out and about hurting people?’ she asked, her mouth open aghast at what she was hearing.
I shook my head. ‘No, he’s dead. I killed him myself,’ I said and sighed. ‘I am sorry, Suzie, I wish I had told you earlier, but, as you can imagine, it’s a difficult topic to bring up.’
Suzie visibly relaxed at this point, realising that she was certainly not in any danger from me. ‘Don’t worry about it. There’s plenty of monsters in this world – as long as you eat them and not me or mine. I guess we won’t be having a walk in the sun, then. If the stories are right, that is.’ She smiled.
I was surprised that she was so receptive to this shocking reality, but she always was a quick-minded woman. ‘Your family are safe from me, that I promise you; and yes, you’re right, the sun is hazardous to me,’ I stated.
She just smiled and drank another whole glass of wine. I feared for her husband, as Suzie had previously declared that alcohol made her loins tingle. That was one weird conversation.
‘Anyway, when are you going to see Annabel? It’s time for you to share your life with someone,’ she slightly slurred before lifting up the bottle to see if there was any left – the answer was no. Her husband really was in for a hell of a night.
I watched Suzie sticking her tongue into the neck of the bottle. There was nothing classy about this woman at all, but that’s why I liked her. Suzie tried three times to get up. On the fourth she managed it and then rebounded off the wall, showering the floor with plaster dust. She walked through the shop before turning back to face me.
‘Go and see your girl, Albert. Start a new life,’ she instructed, and then fell through the shop door and started to shout at people in the street, making me laugh. But I knew she was right.
Later that evening I closed the shop and went for a walk. The foggy air of London town made me bark a few coughs making the locals laugh, but they soon scuttled away when I gave them a stern, cold look, which I have been told is scary in gaslight. I made my way to the McAdams’ house where I had worked with my father that last time. I stared up and searched the windows wondering if I could see Annabel. I knew the servants’ quarters were on the top floor. The hour was late, but not so late that the servants would be sleeping.
I knew I was alone on the streets, so I slowly took step after step, my heels making clicking sounds on the cobbles. The curtains were drawn at the front of the house, but I could see shadows in the back garden, which meant the kitchen and back rooms were occupied as lamps were on at this time.
The shadows were my friend as I moved into the back garden. I could see through the kitchen window and there was the gobby chef. She was giggling as the butler had reached around her and given her chest a grope. He then turned quickly and barked some orders to whoever was behind him. I had known men like that in the army – pure bullies. My father had told me that just because a man fights for his country, it doesn’t mean he’s a good man.
The back door then opened, bathing the garden in
a glaring bright light. And there she was. The rage in me peaked as I saw Annabel had a black eye. She was bringing something out to be scattered onto the vegetable garden. No one else was with her, so I tried to catch my old school friend’s attention. ‘Psst, Anna,’ I whispered.
She turned like a snake; I noticed a knife in her hand. ‘Who’s there?’ she hissed while scanning the deep shadows.
I could tell she wasn’t scared; it was anger. That made me smile, which tamed the demon, for now. ‘It’s me Albert, Albert Morris,’ I whispered back and moved into the light.
Her eyes softened, but the knife never moved at all. ‘What are you doing here, Berty?’ she asked, using the name that only she had ever called me. Her eyes darted back towards the house; there was fear in them.
‘I came to see you. I didn’t want to annoy your employers,’ I explained, moving closer. We were now within two or three feet of each other. ‘I missed you.’
A blush ran riot across her beautiful face. ‘I miss you, too, Berty. I was worried when you never came back, and your father was so angry when I asked where you were,’ she said before sliding her knife back into her pocket. She then stepped forward and hugged me, but what surprised me more was how frail she felt.
‘Anna, you’re so thin. Don’t they feed you?’ I whispered into her ear.
She leaned back and looked into my eyes. ‘They do, but I share mine with Emma and Stan,’ she whispered back and placed her head onto my chest. ‘Berty, why can’t I hear your heart?’ she asked, even though her hold didn’t lessen.
I sighed. ‘It’s there, just very faint. It has always been a problem,’ I said, trying to brush off her concerns. ‘Do you have any days off?’ I placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head, which made her arms tighten around me.
‘No, we don’t have much free time,’ she said, and then looked back towards the house again. ‘If you can wait till later, I will sneak down.’ She then pressed her warm lips against mine. ‘Blimey, even your lips are cold. You should get home into the warm, Albert Morris.’
Laughing, I reassured her, ‘I’ll be okay, Anna, I’m a big boy now.’ I cupped her cheek, nodded, then silently moved away and watched Anna continue with her tasks in the garden. Like an angel she drifted back into the light of the house with a small smile on her warm lips. So, now to wait.
It must have been a good couple of hours before the back door opened silently. She stepped out wearing her ankle-length nightgown with a woollen shawl wrapped around her and black shoes on her otherwise bare feet. This time there were no nerves. She just slammed into my chest, squashing her body into mine. Her heart was racing.
‘Miss me?’ I chuckled.
‘Forever,’ she whispered from my chest and then pulled me towards the garden shed.
I followed her into the spider-ridden place where she bent down to light a candle. She had clearly been here before.
‘A regular meeting place?’ I laughed. I could see her smile in the darkness.
‘Not like that, Berty. We just use it when Big Mack the butler gets drunk while the master and mistress go away.’ She lit the candle.
I sat on a large bag of God knows what, which allowed Anna to sit on my lap and give me another kiss.
‘Firstly, I’m sorry to hear about Adrian. He was crazy but fun.’
We hugged. ‘Thanks,’ and once again she captured my lips. It was warm and loving, nothing like I had felt before in this lifetime so far. We parted and locked eyes.
She pointed a finger into my chest. ‘You Mr, owe me a story – from the day you left here to now,’ Annabel said happily.
‘Indeed, I do, but then you tell me how you got that shiner,’ I replied, pointing to her black eye.
Her hand instantly moved to her eye and her fingers stroked the discoloured skin, which looked even worse in candlelight. ‘That’s easy. Big Mack grabbed something he shouldn’t, so I slapped him and I got one back,’ she said in a nonplussed way.
Mental note: kill the butler. So, I told her my story. After which, in her defence, she never shivered or pulled away. She smiled when I told her about the Ripper’s fate, then frowned about the rage I battled with every day. But I reassured her that I now had a routine: feeding on wrongdoers. Finally, I finished by telling her about Suzie and the shop. ‘And that’s my story,’ I concluded.
She just sat there looking me up and down. I could feel the turmoil inside her, whether to flee or not. ‘Well, Berty, your story is better than mine,’ she said in light tones, which gave me hope. ‘But I need to sleep and think about what you have said. It’s a lot to take in.’ She gave me a quick peck on the lips, stood up, then bent down to put out the candle, which offered her backside in all its cotton-covered glory. I don’t know even to this day if she did it to tease or test whether I was a gentleman or not. Every time I asked in the future, she just smiled that little smile she had. It was so innocent that I swear she could’ve started the Great Fire of London with that match and with one smile the police would have let her walk free.
I stood up quickly. ‘Okay, when shall we meet again?’ I asked, worried that she would leave and I wouldn’t know if she wanted to ever see me again.
‘This time and place in a week. By then I would’ve thought it all through,’ she said carefully. We both headed out of the shed holding hands, then she turned and kissed me again. ‘In a week, Berty,’ and with that she ghosted away into the house.
I headed home but was waylaid by a pair of muggers who darted out of a side alleyway. Any other night I would’ve sensed them, but my mind was full of Anna and my nose full of her rose water scent. I grunted in pain as a knife slid into my side.
‘Give us ya money!’ the man with the knife spat with his whisky-fuelled breath.
I fell to my knees. Despite any new abilities as a vampire, wounds still hurt. That’s when I heard a second heartbeat approach, the first man’s accomplice. Now I knew it was going to be messy, and I liked this shirt. Suzie was going to be upset because she offered to do my washing and cleaning around the place for a bit more money. My thoughts were interrupted by the knife slammed into my back.
‘ARGGHHHHHH! Please stop!’ I cried.
The second man gave me a kick to the ribs. ‘Hand over your cash now and we’ll leave you to die in peace,’ he growled in a gravely tone.
I coughed up some blood, but I could feel my wound knitting together. It’s a weird feeling, a bit like a human zip. ‘Firstly, I have no money!’ I said sternly. I coughed up a bloody lump and spat it onto the man’s dirty work boot. As I looked up, I realised that my whole suit was ruined. That let my rage flash. ‘You are so dead!’
Both men had knives pulled which glinted in the moonlight.
‘And who’s gonna do it? You?’ the second man mocked and gave me another kick.
This time it was my teeth not a knife that glinted in the darkness, making them freeze. Before they could utter another word, I was up on my feet. My right hand, claws adorned, swiped across the stabber’s throat, sending arterial spray into the night. The man instantly dropped to the floor clutching his ruined throat, making bubbling sounds. The rib kicker tried to run, but my left hand grabbed his left shoulder and pulled him back while digging my claws into his flesh, making him scream. I then finished him off by plunging my fangs into his neck and drinking. With a quick twist of his neck, he was dead.
I stood there looking at the mess around me. ‘Bugger,’ I said to myself and quickly took any money they had before using my clawed hand to tear out the noticeable fang puncture marks. Hopefully Mr Rat and his friends would come a calling. I soon headed into the night, leaving the muggers to their self-made fate.
The next day was bad twofold. Firstly, my suit was ruined, and it was my favourite. Secondly, a tired and hung-over Suzanne found out about the said suit. She was very loud and vocal about it. In my time I have killed many people and vampires, but still to this day I am glad I never opened my bedroom door as she pounded her meaty fist on it. All I had to d
o was wait until she went back downstairs to open the shop.
Time passed slowly for me that week. My mind had only one thought: Annabel. Even Suzie was laughing at me wandering around with my sad, woeful face. I tried to scare her by baring my fangs at her, but the woman just laughed and carried on about her duties.
The shop was carrying on steadily enough. The good thing about crime is that when one of the criminals move away to another astral plane, thanks to me and Killer the pig, there is always another person on the wrong side of the law to step in. So we get a regular stream of stolen goods. Obviously, I give anything too high profile straight to an old school friend. He had come into the shop one night and we became reacquainted. Mickey Edwards was his name. He was a beast of a man, at least six foot two, and the same again wide. But he was always polite, even to the people he was snapping in half. He was a perfect copper. I always remembered him being a total hit with the ladies. As a result, he married his sweetheart from school, the one and only Tabatha Hawkins, a pretty, petite blonde who barely reached five feet.
Mickey and I had a good working relationship. I gave him the goods and a description of the said robber, but Mickey never looked that hard, not that he knew I had fed on them. To him it was just the fact that people had their goods back, so why bother? But it was nice to see him when he was on a night shift; we could have a cuppa and talk about the old days. Although, he seemed to know more about what my old friend Adrian and I used to get up to than I knew about him.
When I mentioned to Mickey that I had seen Annabel at her job, I saw his face straighten. ‘What’s up? What do you know?’ I asked.