I remember my eyes had followed her around the room as my dick throbbed in need. I’d just landed stateside and it had been a while since I’d fucked anything other than my hand. But there was something else going on with me that night. The attraction was hard and I’d tried putting it down to just me being hard up for some snatch.
“She’s changed a lot hasn’t she, son?” Dad came over to pass me a beer while the room was buzzing with friends and family doing their thing. I’d been caught staring, but it was too late to shift my focus and pretend I wasn’t checking out her assets. Plus I was sure the look of hunger on my face was a dead giveaway as to what I was thinking.
“Yup, what the hell happened?” It was hard to look away but so as not to seem like a perv in front of my old man I forced myself. I had a good eight years on her I knew. And after the shit I’d been through in the last ten or so, I knew I was way beyond that in experience, but damn if she didn’t make a man want.
The old man shrugged his shoulders. “Hell if I know. It’s all I can do to keep the young men around here from her and your sister.” Sandy had grown too in the time I’d been off protecting my country, but she was my sister. She’s always gonna be that scrawny pain in the ass that was always getting into my shit. Though I could see the changes in her, they were nothing compared to her friend.
It wasn’t that Julia had ever been ugly, just a little awkward I guess. But there’s no way in hell I could’ve expected this. She was way over the age of consent, probably twenty-one like Sandy, fresh out of college. I wondered then if she’d done the usual college thing, like going wild her first time away from home.
There’s no way she’d survived that shit with her cherry intact, not looking the way she did. Though I could still see that innocence about her, that body screamed ‘come fuck me’. Legs, that went on forever and a rack that defied gravity. The shits were mouth watering.
I was a bit startled by the uneasy feeling I had at the thought of someone else covering her. Uneasy hell, I was jealous as fuck that someone else might’ve had her. Not a look I usually wear and not one I was prepared for. It just made me look at her even more and with new eyes. It wasn’t easy for me to accept that I wanted my sister’s friend. A girl I had watched grow up in some way over the years.
I clocked her the rest of the night and didn’t miss the little secret looks she kept throwing my way when she thought I wasn’t looking. I should’ve known better, should’ve walked away. But somehow that night, I couldn’t, didn’t.
I pulled into my garage and turned the truck and the memories off. I’d come a long way in the last ten years. I’d used my head and resources to build a better future for me, and my family. In the little town where we lived, my family had always been damn near at the wrong end of the totem pole.
Dad had done construction, while mom, cleaned people’s homes to help when things were rough. That’s one of the reasons the friendship that had formed between my sister and Julia who was from one of the town’s wealthier families, had been such a surprise.
The two girls were as different as night and day. Sandy was the streetwise tomboy with a chip on her shoulder while Julia was the pampered princess of the country club set. I wasn’t around them much back then, by the time they became pals I was already in the service trying to pave my way. But I heard the stories and in my rare trips back home had seen the bond the two girls shared.
I flicked on the kitchen light and headed for the fridge and a bottle of juice. I could go for a beer, but knew better. Not with her this close, and not with my mind where it’s at.
“I’m coming for you legs.” Shit. I already had a plan in place, but it needed tweaking a bit. There was no room for error, and yes I was running this shit like an Op. The only problem was I didn’t know exactly where this shit was gonna end. One minute I see myself forgiving her after I fuck the shit out of her, maybe keeping her, and the next I see myself using her and walking the fuck away. I liked that one best.
I hated that she still had this kind of hold over me. Hated that I still wanted her no matter how much I tried convincing myself that it was just revenge I was after. Did she ever think of me, of that night? Or had she just put me out of her mind as easily as she’d crawled in and out of my bed. Fuck! The fuck I care.
I gave the house a walkthrough the way I do each time I come back from a long haul. After getting Sandy’s call I’d put a rush on the job I was in the middle of just so I could get back here…to her. It wasn’t like I was gonna punk out and fall right back in, no fucking way. This time I was going in with my eyes wide open.
She stole something from me that night. I’m not quite sure exactly what, but I know that after that, after having her, nothing had ever been the same. I was never the most trusting motherfucker in the world and after the number she did on me I became even worse. But she also spoiled me for other women.
My dick can get hard no problem, but the ride is not the same. My disdain for the opposite sex was at an all time high after she fucked me and married the next dick. I’m sure it had something to do with her wealth and my lack of. She’d treated me like the hired help that was good for a fuck but not to trot out in public.
It had taken me a long time to get over the shit she’d pulled, a long time and a lot of second-rate pussy. Now she was back on my turf and I’m about to show her who the fuck she’d fucked with. The fact that my cock has been in some state of hardness since I learned that she was back in Sugar Creek was of no fucking consequence whatsoever.
Once making sure things were in order, it was time to get down to business. I wanted to handle things just between us, I didn’t need anyone else in my shit, least of all my nosy ass sister who had fallen right back in with her friend it seemed. I wasn’t going to be that damn gullible. I might fuck her, but I’ll be damned if I’m ever gonna trust her again.
I shed my shirt and boots and dropped across the bed with my arms beneath my head. I wasn’t going to bring her here which had been my original thought. I didn’t want her in my space. I own a few rentals; one of them would be more than adequate.
Then there were the kids. I gritted my teeth at the betrayal and breathed through it. Over the years I’d avoided any kind of mention of her. Whenever my mind would go there I’d force that shit back. Even though I knew her life had moved on and that she most likely did have kids with this man. And why the fuck that should bother me so much was a mystery.
Whatever! They exist. I’ll try to keep them out of the line of fire. Then there’s the asshole she left me…no that’s not quite right. We weren’t exactly a ‘thing’, and that’s the conundrum. That’s the fuckery that leaves my gut twisted in knots. Where I’d woken up the morning after with semi-dreams of what could be playing around in my head, she’d just moved the fuck on.
It didn’t take me long to realize what had happened after I’d searched my parents house thinking maybe she’d gone to Sandy’s room so no one would know we’d fucked. Imagine my surprise when I found my family getting ready for her fucking wedding. She’d blindsided me and now it was my turn.
Was I being unfair? Fuck no. Had the tables been turned I’d be looked at like the worse kind of scum, why the fuck should she get away with that shit because she wears a skirt?
I was still a little murky on the details. I didn’t even know at the time that she was engaged. I never would’ve touched her if I had. It was only after the nuptials that I picked up bits and pieces from my sister in passing and I learned that the skell had been hand picked by her dad.
The question of ‘why’ plagued me for months after that. Why the fuck had she slipped her ass into my bed if she knew this guy was on the horizon? That feeling of inadequacy, of not matching up did not sit well with me. It didn’t then, and it sure as fuck doesn’t now.
I’d beaten myself up for way too long over that shit, before I’d had to burn it out of my head. After that the anger had only grown into hate. I hated her until I wanted to erase her completely. In the beginning I’d done th
at by screwing everything that came my way, stupid. As time went on and I threw myself into my duties, it lessened. But always it lurked in the very recesses of my mind.
Now she was just where I needed her to be, at my mercy. Of course I’d given her a job. Once my sister had called it was all I could do not to jump on a plane home. But my years of training had taught me patience. I was no longer the twenty-nine year old bleeding heart. I had grown into the hardened fuck that the world cut a wide path around when they saw me coming.
Rolling over I hopped off the bed and went to grab a shower. Under the spray of the hot water I let my mind go over the details. I wasn’t going to show my hand too early in the game. My aim is to reel her in just the way she’d done to me. Then when she least expects it, I’ll spring the trap and give her a dose of her own damn medicine.
6
Julie
I rolled out of bed the next morning after another restless night. Just as I had the past few days, I started the day feeling like a crappy mom for having brought my kids to this. Looking over at the bed where they still slept, I felt that little tear in my heart widen. My poor babies! How’m I ever going to make this right?
After a solid half an hour of feeling sorry for myself, it was time to get the day started. Thankfully school was out for the summer, which was a blessing, and a curse. It meant I had to find things for them to do during the day before heading to work at night.
My feet still hurt a little but nothing I couldn’t handle, and with the first night out of the way I was no longer so wary of my new profession. Other than having to deal with my ex to finalize things in the near future, there was only one grey cloud hanging over my head; that first meeting with Kevin. I looked forward to it as much as I dreaded it.
“Put it away Julie.” He probably hasn’t given that night a second thought in all these years. I blotted the excess water from my face and made my way to the coffeepot. The kids wouldn’t stir until after the first cup, but instead of looking forward to the peace and quiet that would afford, I dreaded instead the extra time it would give me to dwell.
“Come on sleepy heads time to wake up.” I shook them under the covers before crawling in with them the way I did at home.
For the first few minutes we tickled and played like old times, before reality set in, before my little boy was reminded that this wasn’t exactly the way things use to be. Here he had to share, not only a room but also a bed with his little sister, where before he had his own. I saw the change, the veil that came over his eyes once his little mind cleared.
Pulling away he hopped off the bed and headed for the bathroom without so much as a hello. The smile was gone, and the set to his shoulders told me more than words just what kind of mood he was in. I had a sour feeling in the pit of my gut as I watched with my baby girl held closely in my arms.
He was so much like his dad; had always looked up to him. My worry was that if I didn’t handle this situation the right way, he too might grow into a self-entitled, selfish human being; something that would break my heart.
Putting the worry away I patted my daughter’s shoulder and got her out of bed. “As soon as your brother’s done go wash up and we’ll have some cereal.” There was a diner across the lot that we could go to for breakfast for a change, but I wasn’t quite ready for that.
When I’d left this place years ago I had no idea that I would be leaving it behind for good. I’d imagined weekends and holidays spent here with the friends and family I’d known all my life. Robert had made it clear from day one that that wasn’t going to happen.
I’d never even had a chance to say goodbye, and had only spoken to Sandy once or twice since the wedding, and we’d been so close before.
It broke my heart just a little that she’d accepted me back without question. Maybe if she’d lashed out at me when I first called this guilt wouldn’t be as strong. But as the days go by I’m more and more convinced, that had the tables been turned, she would’ve never let it happen, she would’ve found a way.
I could only imagine the wagging tongues as soon as news spread that I was back, and honestly was not quite ready to face the music. I’m sure most people here probably expected me to become something, to make something of myself in all those years, but instead I return a failure.
The rest of the morning went pretty much as was to be expected. The kids whined and complained about their confined space while I did everything I could to settle them down. I looked out the dusty window at the parking lot. There was nowhere for them to go play and since I’d grown up here I knew it wasn’t safe anyway; not in this part of town.
“You’ll have a backyard again soon I promise, just give mommy a little time.” What a failure. My little girl played on the floor with her doll while my son glared at me balefully. “You always say that. Why can’t we go home? Daddy said…”
I wanted to yell at my son that I was tired to death of hearing those words, but my years of motherhood kicked in and I bit my tongue. I’d promised myself to shield them from as much of this misery as I could, yelling at him would achieve nothing but hurt feelings and even more uncertainty.
“I know Dylan, but daddy’s not here, I am. Have I ever lied to you?” How do you reason with a seven year old who couldn’t grasp the severity of the situation? How did I get through to him that the reason I’d made the decision I should’ve from the first year was because he’d seen his dad hit his mother?
That was the last thing I’d held onto, the fact that Robert kept his abuse well hidden. I was never hit in the face, not after that first time. The bruises were always well hidden under my clothes, except for those times he lost control and made my wrists black and blue. Then he’d forbid me to leave the house for fear of the neighbors guessing at his true nature. Couldn’t have that.
I was such a damn fool, how had I endured that for even one second? I who had always sneered at the women on those TV shows, who made excuses for doing the same, had lived it. I guess that’s why you should never judge.
Whatever! As dismal as outside looked, it was still a hundred times better than where we’d escaped from, whether my kids knew it now or not. Hopefully one day they’ll understand.
I made myself busy with the kids so as to keep my mind off of things for a while, but nothing could keep my thoughts from straying to the one thing that had been plaguing me since my return.
As the time grew near for me to leave for the restaurant, the more nervous I became. I kissed my babies goodbye and though not as wary as the day before, there was still a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach. Would tonight be the night I see him? Or did he not even care that I was back?
Sandy had said that he was away on business but somehow I still got the feeling that he was going to show up any minute. Wishful thinking maybe? As I pulled into the parking lot I looked around even though I had no idea what kind of car or truck he drove. My walk to the entrance was pretty much the same as the day before with appreciative comments from patrons who were either coming or going. And then there was Tyson the head of security and a horrible flirt.
My face broke out in a smile at my first sight of him. “Well hey sugar, I see we didn’t scare you off.” His smile was open and friendly and I knew from Sandy and Lucy that he was a sweetheart. He’d grown up in Sugar Creek and had been in the service with Kevin, the same unit and was now part of his ‘team’. “Hi Tyson, nope I’m made of sturdier stuff than that.”
“My girl. Well go on in, it’s lady’s night tonight you’ll be run off your feet before you know it. You know how you women get when you’re out in packs.” He flashed his killer smile and I couldn’t help but grin. It had been a while since I’d grinned about anything.
I was surprised that a few people called me by name as I passed the bar to head to the back. I waved and kept going to the locker that I’d been assigned, feeling a little lighter about being here. Looked like I was getting another reprieve. Kevin wasn’t here.
KEVIN
I told
myself to stay away that it was too soon. But that shit didn’t last. I was like a caged animal pacing back and forth in my place as the time for her shift to begin grew near. When I got sick of my own shit I gave in. I just wanted a look that’s all. Fucking sap!
I pulled up to the restaurant an hour after she was supposed to arrive with my heart racing out of time. I ignored that shit. It’s been a while since I let that particular organ rule me and especially where she was concerned no way in fucking hell was I going there. The only part of me involved here is my dick. And after I’ve pummeled her pussy with a few hard fucks I’m done. My heart could suck a dick.
I saw her as soon as I walked in the door. Like a fucking leashed dog my head snapped around in her direction. As if sensing my stare she turned and looked at me. It was then I noticed my boy Tyson in her space. Fuck that noise. I know Ty, I know how he works when he’s moving in and he was showing all the signs.
I barely spared her a glance as I called him away. “Ty with me.” He gave her a look over his shoulder and said some shit that made her blush before following me, and I wanted to break his fucking face. As soon as we were out of earshot I turned to him. One look at my face and his hands went up and he backed away.
“Whatever it is I didn’t do it.” That would be a first. Asshole is always up to some shit. “That thing you were just about to do. Not gonna happen.” He looked back at her. “Hey, eyes on me. You even sniff the air she walks I’ll break your fucking neck.”
He grinned and relaxed. “And why would you wanna do that?”
“That’s mine.” He got serious on me and I tried to waylay his shit. “Leave it. Don’t go hearing wedding bells and shit and tell the others to keep the fuck away from her.” Bunch of fucking horn dogs.
“She’s a step up Cap, good luck.” He should know he’s had enough of my leavings over the years. “How’s Natalie?” He actually blushed and looked around. “Cap, why the fuck did you ever go there? She’s a fucking pariah. I think she’s into Pete this week.” He shook his head and went back to work.
Starting Over (Sugar Creek Romance ) Page 3