by Jana Leigh
“I always thought it would take a special woman to make me contemplate that, you know without feeling jealousy and stuff,” Grant said slowly and Jessie looked at him.
“Yeah, it would,” Jessie agreed. “Who would you consider being your partner in a relationship like that?”
“Only one man I can think of.” Grant smiled and looked at Jessie closely.
“Me too,” Jessie admitted.
“It has been a long time since we were together,” Grant said slowly. Even though they had been close when they were younger, Grant liked to think they were still close enough to share a woman together. It had been something they had talked about when they were growing up.
“What are you thinking?” Jessie said. “I mean, I have issues, sometimes nightmares, and the woo woo doctor says I have PTSD. I'm not sure I am the same man I was before.”
Grant stared at his friend. Jessie was the same, he just didn’t realize it yet. Grant wanted to be there for his friend, help him get back what he thought he had lost. Being without close friends for the last few years made him realize what he lost when Jessie left. Grant wanted it back, seeing his friend again made him yearn for something he knew was missing. But changing his whole life was crazy, wasn’t it. For a woman he just met, and a man he thought he knew?
“I don’t know. I feel something for Brin, maybe it was going through such an intense situation with her. I just feel like somehow she belongs to me. Seeing you again makes me hopeful we can build our friendship back. It may be crazy, but I really want to see where this leads,” Grant admitted.
“You know, sometimes you don’t argue with fate. I learned the hard way with the guys. I thought we were going to be together forever, but it wasn’t in the cards. Now, I just want to be happy. I don’t know if I can handle committing to someone and then losing them, or letting them down. Alex, my teammate, and his friend are the perfect example. Slone is his back up, though they would never think that one of them is less involved. They work as a team, and I want that,” Jessie admitted.
“We have a lot to talk about then,” Grant said. “You know my uncle always said when he and his brother met my aunt it was like a lightning strike, both of them kinda knew.”
Jessie nodded and looked up at his friend. “Yeah, that is what my friends said too.”
“Their children were just that too…theirs,” Grant said and touched the baby boy's face.
“It gives a man something to think about.” Jessie smiled.
“Plus, when one of them is gone, the other one could handle the home base, you know, in case there was danger,” Grant said.
“It would take a commitment from all of them,” Jessie said.
“That is the good thing about these relationships, knowing someone always has your back. I missed that over the years,” Grant said and Jessie nodded.
They continued to talk quietly in the corner as they watched over Brin and the baby. It seemed like only a few minutes before they heard the baby stir. Jessie stood, went to the bassinet, and looked down at his son. He would never grow tired of looking at him, Jessie thought as he picked him up.
He felt Mark standing next to him. “It’s time,” his friend whispered and Jessie looked back at Grant.
“Grant, do you believe in ghosts?” Jessie said and Grant laughed.
Brin tried to open her eyes. She was just so damn tired. It took her a moment to remember where she was. But when she did, her eyes popped open and she looked frantically for her baby. Had she slept through him waking up? The nurse explained for the first few days, adjustments would be made until they got a routine down that worked for them.
Of course, she knew that. With her future so unsure, she had no idea how this was going to all work. The feeling of helplessness flowed over her again. She was going to have to face reality soon, where was she going to raise this child?
Her gaze settled on Jessie and Grant who were in the corner whispering. Jessie was holding their son in his muscular arms and she wanted to cry. They looked so handsome together. She wished it were real. Then her gaze landed on Grant and she felt confused. Looking at both men sitting there, she knew she was attracted to both. Why could she never do anything easy? she wondered.
They both gave her the tingly feelings in the pit of her stomach. Grant, although knowing him for a short period of time, he had been amazing while she was in labor. Talking to her, and making sure she had everything she needed. He was strong and caring, and if she had not been giving birth to another man's son, she would have hit on him. As it was, the situation had spiraled out of control.
Brin pushed herself up and smiled. “Hey there,” she said when the men turned to look at her.
“Hey,” Jessie said and Grant grinned and stood.
“How are you feeling now?” Grant asked.
“Better,” she admitted and then blushed when Jessie and Grant came to each side of the bed. “Here, let me feed him,” Brin said and held out her arms.
Jessie gently placed him in her arms and she looked down at her child. The love practically burst out of her as she ran a hand down his cheek. Focusing on her son, she moved an arm out of her gown and arranged him so he was next to her breast. When she dared to look up, she felt herself blush again as she realized both men were staring at her feeding her son. Their gazes made her feel cherished, a stupid thought, she shook herself, of course not. They were probably wondering how they could escape.
“We have been talking,” Jessie said, snapping her out of her thoughts.
“Well so have I,” Brin said firmly. “The Commander of the SEAL Team sent a message a few weeks ago saying if anyone needed anything to call him. I think that would be the best solution. Until all of this has worked itself out.”
Jessie sighed. “Honey, things have changed since then. We are all on alert.”
“Listen, Jessie explained the situation to me. I think we have come up with a good compromise. I happen to be in a good place right now, where I can leave my practice for a while. Jessie doesn’t want you to be alone, and I have some free time, so how about it?” Grant said.
“But…” Brin sputtered.
“Honey, we don’t have a lot of choices. I know how it would be uncomfortable to go off with people you don’t know. Even though you and Grant just met, he seems to think you have ah...developed a good basis for a friendship. That way you will know someone, and I will feel better knowing Grant was with you,” Jessie said.
“So really, this is all about you making yourself feel better while you are off doing…whatever it is you need to do,” Brin argued. “Well thank you very much, but I think we can handle this on our own.”
Jessie made a noise of frustration. “Where do you plan on going?”
Brin looked him in the eyes and said, “Don’t worry, I will figure it out.”
“I don’t think so,” Jessie growled.
“What he means is, why not let us help you figure this out,” Grant said softly, drawing her attention away.
Brin felt a lump in her throat. Her brother would say the same thing, he was reasonable about stuff like that. She really wished he were here about now, he would know what to do.
Jessie cleared his throat again and reached into his back pocket. “This is probably not the best place to do this but hell, is there a good time?”
Brin looked at the torn and tattered letter Jessie was holding out and knew what it was, damn him. Her brother had written her a letter before he died. With shaking hands, she reached out and took the paper. Her son grumbled at the movement. Brin laid down the letter, and silently finished feeding her child while trying to fight the tears that were already gathering in her eyes.
The baby must have picked up on her emotions because he started to fuss. Brin tried to sooth him but he wasn't having anything to do with being soothed. She felt her heart strings pull as she looked at her child and remember that she would never be able to show him off to her brother. Sadness enveloped her as she thought of everything her brot
her would miss.
“Shhh,” she whispered, still feeling upset with the letter lying on her leg. She really didn’t want to open it, because it would make things more real. Brin looked at the two men and whispered, “I don’t think I can.”
Grant shifted and placed a hand on her leg while Jessie touched the other one and both were rubbing her.
“It’s okay, we don’t have to read it now,” Jessie murmured. He felt a breeze behind him and knew his teammates were in the room. He turned his head and watched as Emo walked to the head of the bed and looked down at his sister and their son. The look of longing on his face was enough to make Jessie suck in a breath.
Brin looked at Jessie and whispered, “What?” The baby suddenly quieted down and Brin looked down in confusion. She could see the soft new baby hair moving slightly, as if something was rubbing against his head and she frowned.
Jessie cleared his throat and said, “Mark is here.” Brin looked up at him in surprise and Jesse looked back down before whispering, “Long story, but I can see him. He is touching the baby’s head.”
“So, does this long story involve a stay at the mental institution?” Brin said slowly, and for the first time since Jessie arrived, she looked at him closely. His looked the same, maybe a little thinner, and the twinkle in his eyes, which attracted her in the first place, was dimmed.
Jessie rolled his eyes, “No, but it probably could help. There are probably a million reasons you shouldn’t believe me about this. But it all started when Sable, Wolfman’s sister, needed help,” he said and explained how the whole ‘I see dead people’ came about.
Brin listened with awe, and thought either she was having a mental break or this was a dream because she really began to believe what he was saying. Maybe it was the hope of knowing her brother was at peace, maybe it was the meds the doctors gave to her while she was in labor, who knew. What it boiled down to was that she believed him.
Her eyes cut to Grant who shifted in the corner listening intently and looking at her reaction. She couldn’t explain why she felt drawn to him but she did. And she wanted him to believe what Jessie was saying too. As she looked between the two drop dead gorgeous men, she thought what wonderful fathers they would be, not like her father who ruled their home with fear. Grant was kind, attentive, and had a great sense of humor. She had crazy thoughts of what it would feel like to be wrapped in his arms, sitting in front of a fire.
Then she looked at Jessie, he was raw masculinity at its finest. She knew he was gruff on the outside but soft in the middle, she had seen it. The one glorious night they spent together had shown her what it would be like to belong to Jessie. It was something she longed for now. He was like Godiva chocolate, once you actually could afford a taste of it, you felt cheated with any other. Grant was the only man she thought would be the exception to that. She felt the same way about both of them. How on earth was she ever going to lose either of them. They would both make wonderful fathers and role models, just like her brother would have.
She felt the tears flow as she thought about her brother getting to see his nephew. Her son closed his eyes in a soft sigh and laid his head on her chest and she watched the hair still move.
“I want to name him Marcus,” Brin whispered. “So he will always remember what a brave and wonder man his uncle was.”
She felt a brush against her cheek and she leaned into it. Who cared if she didn’t understand what was going on. What mattered is she believed it. Her brother was here with her, when she needed him the most.
Once she finished, she looked at Jessie who took their son and settled into the chair he had pulled up to the side of the bed. Grant leaned against the wall, looking tense, but determined. She opened the letter and took a deep breath before reading.
Sis,
If you are getting this, something shitty happened. Sorry for the cuss words already, but you know I never really cared about etiquette. You also know I am writing you because I know you will listen to what I want.
Jessie is the one who is delivering this, I know because he promised he would. Remember when we were younger, and we went camping in the mountains of Colorado—Remember how peaceful it was? That is what I want for you and Cynthia, peace. We never had that when we were growing up, not with our parents. But I refuse to spend the time I am writing this last letter to be wasted on talking about them.
I have an account set up for both of you, I know you are listed as the death beneficiary, and that you will split it with Cynthia, this is separate. Something I want you and Cynthia to use to get away from you know what. Use the money to set yourselves up as far away as you need to. Jessie can help you with that, I trusted him with my life, and you can too.
I know I left you and Cynthia behind when I left, you will never know how much I regretted that. The only thing that made it right was that he left you both alone. I was his punching bag. I also told him if he touched you, I would kill him. I had no choice, no proof or I would have gone to the cops. I'm sorry I failed you like that. I love you and Cynthia so much, and I will miss not being there as you both grow into women and find your way in the world. Both of you are amazing young women.
I just want you to be happy, so please let Jessie help you. Brin, I am so proud of what you accomplished, so proud to call you my sister. Everything you are and everything you have done is solely due to you. Your strength and your determination is what got you through. Getting your degree is all on you, not them. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.
I love you, sis, remember that always. I will be on your side no matter what. When you need a little help just think of me and I will be there.
Mark
“Damn it,” Brin sniffed. “I hate crying.”
Both of the men stood there watching her gather herself. She felt like she was exposed to them, all of her emotions sitting on her shirtsleeve, just raw and open. It sucked.
“You don’t have to be a certain way around us,” Grant said softly. “I mean we have only known each other for a short time, I gotta tell you, though, I really hope that is going to change, but for now you don’t have to hold shit in for us. I mean we did see you give birth and everything, that has to be good for something.”
Brin laughed, and looked up. “Yeah, you got to see me at my worst. I suppose all snotty-faced and teary eyed is better than that.”
“Hey,” Jessie whispered as not to wake Marcus who was sleeping on his chest. “I thought you looked beautiful when I first came in yesterday.”
“Right, okay so when I am going to be sprung from here. We have a lot of things to get done if you think you are gonna whisk me away to some ugly and horrid tropical paradise. I mean we need to make sure there are baby things in place. I have not had a chance to get things in place yet,” Brin said, trying to sound positive. She was going to listen to her brother and put her trust in Jesse.
“No worries, we have a plan.” Jessie laughed and looked at Grant who shook his head. Things would certainly be interesting for the next few hours if nothing else.
Chapter Five
Grant looked at his childhood friend and smiled as they waited for the nurse to bring Brin and the baby out to the truck. If he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes, he never would have guessed his friend would be so nervous. His teammate, Drake, was already at the hotel, checking things out to make sure they were covered.
It was strange, over the last forty-eight hours, meeting Jessie again had seemed like something that was missing in his life finally clicked back into place. When his mother died last year, he felt completely alone. His restlessness seemed to be gone when he thought about reconnecting with his friend. Now he understood why, Jessie and he had spoken well into the night last night about what they wanted and what they thought they could be to the right woman.
Grant wanted to give this a chance, he wanted to see if he could find the type of love his uncles and aunt had found. Jessie paced, and Grant grinned at his friend. “Nervous?”
“Terrified
," Jessie snorted. “You know out of all the missions I have been on this is probably the scariest, I mean I could seriously fuck up here, and then not only would Brin be effected but so would Marcus.”
Grant laughed and slapped his hand on his friend’s shoulder, “Dude, this is what I am here for!”
Jessie felt relief in his friend’s words. He knew that entering into a ménage relationship with him would be the only way he could ever do this. Grant and Jessie were like two halves that made a whole, and together they were going to convince Brin they could make this work.
When they left the hospital yesterday, Grant had arranged for a little shopping trip to the closest baby store. Of course, Jabo caught wind of it, and insisted on coming with them, claiming he had not actually been in a store like that before and wanted to know if they had any Duck Dynasty baby clothes.
The outing had proven to be as entertaining as Grant thought. All three of the men had been out of their element, but that hadn't dissuaded them. Instead, they had driven the workers at the large store nuts with all of their questions. The manager had finally given up and helped when the men insisted on having everything gift wrapped because Brin had not had a proper baby shower.
With many calls to Sable and the other ladies, they finally got everything a baby could need, and probably a lot more. Hell, they were going to have to have a separate plane for all the shit they bought, Jabo had announced. The kicker had been when they stopped at the local gun shop to get a gun safe, you couldn’t start too soon teaching gun safety.