Kayla took a deep breath and squeezed Jen’s knee. “He’s okay, Jen. We’ll do what we can to help Mike and keep you safe.”
The tears that had dimmed Jen’s eyes were now replaced with cold resolve. “I can’t believe he made me think he was dead. What kind of person does that?”
Kayla didn’t answer.
“A selfish bastard, that’s who does that.” Jackie’s voice was hard and void of compassion. “He doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”
“What do I do?” Jen pleaded, looking now to Jackie for answers.
“Get out. Get a restraining order, a divorce, change your phone number, or block his calls, whatever it takes for him to get lost.”
Kayla saw something flash in Jackie’s eyes and wondered if Jackie was still talking to Jen.
“Jen, why don’t you get yourself cleaned up and try to get some rest?” Kayla said to defuse the building tension. She took Jen by the hand and pulled her to her feet. “I’m sure a hot shower will help clear your head. We’ll know more tomorrow. Right now everyone’s safe.”
Jen nodded and wrapped her arms around Kayla.
Jackie sighed. “Come on, I’ll show you the bathroom.”
Kayla watched Jen follow Jackie down the hall. She knew Jackie’s reactions were fueled by her experience with her father. This was going to be a very long night.
Chapter Fourteen
Kayla sat next to Jackie on the sofa, gently stroking the back of her hand. “Are you okay?”
“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”
Kayla knew the evening’s events had been hard on Jackie and she didn’t know how much she would want to share, but Jackie needed to talk some things out or her rage was going to cause her serious problems.
“It’s been an emotional night. I’m sorry we got you in the middle of all this.”
Jackie laced their fingers together. “I’m glad you agreed to come here. I don’t want to think of what could have happened if he’d come to your house.”
Jackie’s words were soft and a storm of emotions brewed behind the shifting shades of her hazel eyes. Instinctually Kayla knew she had to be gentle with her questions. She had to let Jackie come to her. She had to let Jackie share her feelings in her own time. Right now she wanted to reassure Jackie, make her feel safe.
“I’m glad I’m here too.”
Jackie wanted to run away from the haunting memories flashing through her mind. There was no point pretending she hadn’t revealed herself through her reactions to Jen. Kayla was too observant not to see through her. Kayla had to be wondering why. But she hadn’t asked and Jackie was both relieved and disappointed. She had the unsettling desire to tell Kayla things she never told anyone.
“You’re not going to play therapist on me now, are you?”
“I may ask questions, but it’s because I want to help. I can tell this has brought up some things from your past. I know you have to be thinking of your father tonight.”
A muscle jumped at the side of Jackie’s jaw and she pursed her lips as if holding back her words.
“I got the impression your dad must have pulled stunts like this too.”
Jackie sighed. “He did things like this to my mother. He even threatened to kill me a few times if she left him. He knew how to get to her.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. If Jen has a brain in her head, she’ll get away from this guy.”
Kayla nodded. Jackie was right, but Jen was the only one who could make that call.
“I hate that this has brought up hurtful memories for you. This isn’t what I had in mind when I asked you to come over. And it certainly isn’t how I wanted us to wake up together.”
Jackie frowned. “Me either.”
Kayla snuggled closer. “Thank you for letting us come here. She’s really been through a lot.”
“I can imagine.” Jackie considered her next question before asking, “So, what’s this guy’s deal? Is he just the standard drunk who thinks he can come home and take his sorry life out on everyone else, or is he just an abusive bastard?”
With everything that had happened, Kayla didn’t think Jen would mind if she told Jackie the truth. When Kayla spoke, her tone was calm and neutral. “Mike has a lot of issues, most of which are due to his prescription drug use. In the beginning Jen didn’t know. He works on the road and is gone most of the time, so he was able to hide a lot from her until the physiological and psychological addiction began to change his personality and take over their lives. It’s the usual story of trying to find a balance between loving someone and being an enabler. You saw how manipulative he can be, and he knows how to use her emotions to put the blame for everything on her.”
“Jesus,” Jackie muttered through gritted teeth.
“Maybe with court intervention he can get the help he needs.”
“Right,” Jackie said trying to fight the bile that was building in her throat.
“You don’t think that’s the answer?”
Jackie shrugged. “I’ve seen it before. Guys like him will say what people want to hear until they get what they want, and then they go back to the booze, the drugs, and the violence.”
Kayla could almost feel the rage bubbling beneath the surface of Jackie’s skin, the old memories pushing her into fight mode.
Jackie stood. “I need to make sure the guest room is ready.”
Kayla was surprised by the sudden change and she stood to follow. Kayla heard the pain and anger in Jackie’s voice. She was used to this reaction from people who had been hurt by loved ones dealing with the disease of addiction, most often the spouse or child of an addict.
“We could go home now. Mike is in jail for the night. I don’t want to create any problems for you.”
When Jackie looked back at Kayla, all the rage that had been swarming in her eyes evaporated like a fading mist until nothing was left but pain and fear.
“I’d like you to stay,” Jackie said, her voice unusually soft.
Kayla pressed her palms against Jackie’s chest and felt a slight tremor ripple beneath her fingertips. Jackie seemed so fragile in that moment, a stark contrast to her usual confidence and strength. The fact that Jackie had asked was telling in itself. There was no way she could leave now.
“There’s nowhere else I would rather be tonight.” Kayla kissed Jackie with the faintest brush of her lips.
Jackie smiled against Kayla’s lips. “Why don’t you go get settled in the bedroom? I just heard the shower shut off. Jen will be out in a minute and you can have the bathroom next.”
Kayla nodded. Her head swooned at the thought of her body pressed against Jackie’s. She quickly tried to push the emotion aside when she remembered Jen would be in the room across the hall. At least she could hold Jackie close while she slept.
*
Jackie sat on the edge of the bed staring at the floor. So much had happened in this one day that she had difficulty getting her head around it. Maybe Kayla could chase away the emptiness that was slowly swallowing her up.
She raked her fingers through her hair and rubbed her temples, trying to make sense of what was happening in her life. Where did all this drama come from? Things were so much simpler before. She heard a slight rustle and looked up as Kayla stepped into the room. The instant she saw Kayla standing before her all thought slipped out of her mind. Kayla was wrapped in a blue silk robe that fell to midthigh and molded to the curves of her body, hinting of the supple flesh that lay beneath. Jackie’s heart ached when she saw the vulnerability and questions in Kayla’s eyes. Kayla clutched the robe to her chest.
Jackie’s hands fell to her lap and she smiled up at Kayla. “You’re beautiful,” she said with a hitch in her voice.
Kayla relaxed her grip on the robe and moved slowly across the room. Jackie reached out and pulled her closer until Kayla’s knees brushed against the inside of her thighs.
“I wasn’t sure I should…I thought maybe you would prefer I stayed with Jen tonight.”
Jackie’s chest swelled as tension vibrated through her muscles. She needed Kayla. She needed her comfort, and Kayla offered to give just that.
After several long moments, Kayla pulled Jackie’s head back, framing her face in her hands. Her usually vibrant eyes were dull and unfocused.
“Tell me what’s going on with you,” Kayla whispered.
“It’s nothing. I’m just worried about you.”
Kayla shook her head and kissed Jackie lightly. “No, it’s more than that. There’s something else. I can see the pain swimming behind your eyes like a ghost. You can talk to me.”
Jackie buried her face in Kayla’s neck and drew in a deep breath. “I don’t want to talk. It’s been a crazy day and I don’t want to think about any of it anymore. I just want to be with you.”
Kayla knew Jackie was holding back but respected her request for time. Kayla gently undressed Jackie and encouraged her under the covers. She pulled the silk belt loose and opened the robe allowing it to slip from her shoulders to pool at the floor.
A spark ignited in Jackie’s eyes as Kayla undressed. Kayla heard the change in Jackie’s breathing and watched the rise and fall of her chest, witnessing the subtle hardening of her nipples through the thin fabric of the sheet. Jackie would share her secrets in her own time. Kayla’s own uncertainty faded and was replaced with warmth and need. Perhaps this was exactly what they both needed to put the demons of the day to rest.
Kayla slid beneath the covers, her body brushing against warm skin. She wrapped her arms around Jackie and pulled her head to her chest, cradling her against her breasts.
“You’re an angel,” Jackie whispered before pressing her cheek against Kayla’s neck, brushing her lips against the warm flesh.
Kayla stroked Jackie’s hair with her fingers, then along the line of her jaw, along her ear, and the thick line of muscle that ran from below her ear to her shoulder. She continued to stroke and explore Jackie’s shoulders, her back, and down the arm that lay possessively around Kayla’s waist. The tension in Jackie’s body slowly melted as she kneaded each muscle.
Jackie moaned into the soft skin of Kayla’s neck and pressed her body closer. Kayla’s heart quickened as Jackie’s hand slid down her back to the curve at the base of her spine. Kayla surrendered as Jackie coaxed her legs apart, pushing her thigh against Kayla’s center. Kayla mirrored the movement, wrapping her legs around Jackie.
Jackie groaned and pressed harder into Kayla, gliding against her until the building pleasure made her want to cry out. Their touches were no longer drawn from the need to comfort, but by the burning need of passion. Kayla dug her fingers into Jackie’s back and felt her shudder. In answer, her own orgasm erupted and waves of pleasure surged through her. She held on to Jackie, riding each wave of bliss. Kayla pressed her cheek to Jackie’s chest, listening to the thundering of her heart, hoping the tenderness of their connection would be enough to quiet the pain lurking in the shadows.
*
Jackie was irritable and jumpy, and struggled to get through the workday. The slightest sound or unexpected touch sent her heart racing. She looked at the clock on the wall every two minutes and she had difficulty concentrating on the simplest tasks. She hadn’t heard from Kayla all day, and not knowing what was happening was driving her crazy.
It was time for a break. She sat on a bench in the locker room, her elbows on her knees, her hands dangling limp in front of her.
“Are you okay?”
Jackie jumped. She hadn’t heard Heather come in.
“My, my, someone’s jumpy today. What’s got you all wound up, tiger?” Heather stepped around Jackie, gliding her finger across Jackie’s shoulder as she walked. “I was hoping we could get”—Heather paused—“reacquainted.”
Jackie bit back a retort, not in the mood to deal with Heather at the moment.
“Look, Heather,” she finally said holding her hands up palms forward indicating she wanted some distance. “I’m kind of seeing someone right now, and I would really like it if we could keep our contact with each other strictly professional.”
Heather pursed her lips in a mock pout. “Too bad,” she said after giving Jackie a long appraisal. “You look like you could use a little extracurricular activity to let off a little steam.”
Jackie flashed back to her life before meeting Kayla. Only a few short weeks ago what Heather was proposing would have been exactly what she was looking for. Things had seemed so simple then. She never had to worry about anyone, she didn’t have to deal with sharing things about her past, and she had always satisfied the dull ache of loneliness with no-strings-attached sex.
She flashed back to the look of hurt she had seen on Kayla’s face the night before, and remembered the compassion Kayla had shown despite her own pain. Jackie conjured the image of Kayla lying in her bed and the heart-melting look of desire that seemed so raw Jackie was consumed by it.
Perhaps for the first time in her life she had a chance at something real. A quick tryst with Heather wouldn’t satisfy the ache in her soul. Only one person could heal her.
“No thanks.”
Jackie grabbed her bag and her cell phone from the locker and pushed past Heather. She could feel Heather’s hot gaze on her back as she left the locker room.
“Let me know if you change your mind,” Heather called out as Jackie slipped through the door.
Outside Jackie punched in Kayla’s number. When the call was directed to voicemail her anxiety ratcheted up another notch. She knew Kayla was meeting with the court officials about Jen’s husband and she worried about Kayla’s safety if things didn’t work out.
She slammed the car door so hard her truck rocked from side to side. Her ears popped from the compression of air trapped in the small space. What was she doing? It was obvious these feelings for Kayla meant nothing but trouble. She didn’t need this kind of stress in her life. She couldn’t go back to a life of fear and worry. She was torn. Her emotions were all mixed up. When she was with Kayla it was easy to believe things could be different, but the reality was that she was still a scared little girl running from her past.
Stop it, Jackie snapped to herself. She started the truck and made her way to the university gym. She had two hours before her next client and she needed to blow off some steam. Since sex was out of the question, a workout would have to do.
The familiar sound of her phone made her heart jolt. She fumbled with the phone, almost driving onto the curb. Righting the truck, she pulled to the side of the road and managed to answer the call. “Hello.”
“Hi,” the familiar smooth voice crooned through the phone, “do you have a minute?”
“Yes,” Jackie responded quickly, relief rushing through her at the sound of Kayla’s voice. “I’m glad you called. I was worried.”
“I was afraid of that, but there really is no reason to be. I promise.”
Jackie smiled. “Tell me what happened today.”
Kayla’s sigh was clear even through the phone, and Jackie braced herself for what was to come.
“Well, it’s been a little crazy here, but the judge ordered a psychological evaluation and granted the restraining order for both me and Jen.”
“I feel a but coming.”
“Well, Jen is on her way out of town for a while so she should be safe now that Mike has no idea where she is, but the judge let him go. He has a set amount of time to get the evaluation done, but they couldn’t hold him since he hadn’t made direct contact with anyone and hadn’t made any attempt to harm himself. He convinced the judge he was angry with his wife for leaving him and acted irrationally but
had no intention of harming anyone.”
Jackie gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white. “That’s typical.”
“It isn’t ideal, I agree, but it’s a start.”
Jackie swore under her breath. “I want you to stay with me for a while. I don’t like this.”
“It isn’t me he’s after. I’m okay.”
Jackie closed her eyes and tried to keep her voice calm. “Maybe, but he’s going to be pissed and he’s going to be looking to share the pain, and you’ll be the one in his sights if he can’t get to her.”
“I can’t run away every time someone is a little off balance. I can take care of myself.”
Jackie bit down on her tongue until she tasted blood. She knew she had to get a grip on her emotions or there was no way Kayla would trust her. When she spoke again, it wasn’t anger that caused her voice to crack, it was fear.
“I know you’re perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. But please, do this for me.”
The silence on the phone seemed interminable and Jackie held her breath waiting for Kayla’s answer.
“Well, I guess it would give me an excuse to spend more time with you. And I leave for a conference in a few days anyway.”
Jackie gasped. The fear that had been driving her mad all day was finally lifting its grip on her chest. Kayla was safe…for now.
“Thank you.”
*
Kayla felt out of place sitting in Jackie’s living room alone. Jackie was supposed to meet her an hour ago, but had been called in on a consult for a football injury and wasn’t sure when she would be able to leave work.
Kayla considered going home, but she had made a promise to Jackie and she wouldn’t break it. Sometimes it was difficult to figure out the right thing to do. She studied the shelves of books. Maybe she could pass the time with a good book. She thumbed through the titles until she came upon a photo album tucked in amongst the volumes. Curiosity pricked at the back of her mind. Should she look through the pages like a voyeur peeking into private moments of Jackie’s life? The album was in the living room in plain sight. It didn’t seem like something Jackie didn’t want people to see. Between her boredom and curiosity, it wasn’t hard to convince herself to look.
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