by Kylie Chan
We exited the car. The building was nearly as big as the main audience hall in the Celestial Palace, with a set of steps going up to the massive front doors but no ramp in the middle. A veranda skirted the perimeter of the building with a carved wooden balustrade at waist height around it. The balustrade was decorated with snakes and turtles, and fairy lights had been strung all along the edges adding to the brilliance of the existing illumination.
A pair of demons in True Form, blue with bulging eyes and wearing helmets and armour, stood on either side of the doorway holding spears. They raised the spears when we approached.
‘Stand down,’ Simone said.
The demons dropped to one knee and bowed their heads.
We went into the hall. There was a lobby, about five by five metres, with two sets of double doors on the far wall, and another set of doors on each of the left and right walls. A large desk stood in the middle of the room, between the doors. A middle-aged Chinese woman and a young Chinese man were sitting behind the desk; both of them Shen. When I flicked my tongue, she smelt like a standard Taoist human Immortal, and the young man was a dragon. They rose as we approached them, their faces full of shock.
Martin bowed slightly to them and saluted. ‘Greetings, Lily, Firebrand. It is good to see you again.’
Both of them fell to one knee and saluted us. ‘Princess. Wang Chu.’
‘I am no longer Wang Chu,’ Martin said. ‘I am nobody. And this …’ He gestured towards me.
‘Is Emma Donahoe, your Regent,’ Simone said.
Lily and Firebrand stared at me, dumbstruck.
‘Kowtow!’ Martin said sternly.
Both of them dropped to their knees and touched their heads to the floor, as if pulled by strings. Then they rose again and stared at me.
‘I know I am a snake. So is your Emperor. Is this an issue?’ I said.
Firebrand saluted me. ‘A thousand pardons, madam, but I was led to understand that you were an ordinary human.’
I raised my serpent head. ‘I am.’
Lily saluted me. ‘If you say you are, then you are, madam. How may we poor stupid subjects be of assistance?’
‘You can start by not calling yourself stupid,’ I said. ‘If Xuan Wu gave you this job then you are competent. I am here for the trial of Sang Shen; I wish to testify.’
‘You sound very much like the Dark Lord,’ Lily said with wonder. ‘Are you his Serpent, ma’am?’
‘I hope not,’ I said.
‘This way, ma’am,’ Firebrand said, gesturing towards the doors on the left. ‘The trial has yet to begin.’
‘Put us up the back of the room to start off with,’ I said. ‘I don’t want to take attention away from the trial itself and turn it into a circus until I’m ready to speak.’
‘I understand, ma’am,’ Lily said. ‘We will not announce you.’
They led us into the room. It was nothing like a Western courtroom; it was a simple rectangular room with the judge’s desk on a dais at the far end and a wooden bench at the back for spectators. A guard stood on either side of the judge’s chair, and four more guards stood on each side of the dais. They looked curiously at me at first, then saw Martin and Simone and fell to one knee, saluting.
‘Rise,’ Simone said. ‘Continue.’
The guards pulled themselves to their feet and took their positions again.
The judge appeared seated behind the desk and the guards fell to one knee again.
‘All kowtow in the presence of Judge Pure Sky,’ one of the guards on the dais said loudly.
We kneel and salute, Martin said. He and Simone stood up and saluted the judge. I lowered my head.
The judge nodded to us. ‘Welcome to my court, Gong Zhu, Tai Zi, Prince and Princess of the Northern Heavens.’ He banged the desk with a block of wood. ‘The court demands the presence of the tree spirit Sang Shen.’
Sang Shen was brought in by two more guards. He wore the simple white jacket and pants of the convict, but the character for ‘convict’ didn’t appear on his back as it was depicted in many Chinese period dramas. His hands were chained behind his back. The guards led him to the middle of the floor and pushed him to his knees.
Sang Ye, his sister, followed him in. She glared at us, then went to the other end of the bench to stand waiting. Five or six more people followed her in. I tasted the air — yep, all tree spirits. Moral support, probably.
‘All sit and listen to the words of the honoured judge,’ one of the guards on the dais said.
Everybody sat on the benches. Sang Shen remained kneeling on the floor, his hands chained behind him.
‘You have confessed to the attempted murder of your Regent,’ the judge said. ‘Do you have anything to say in your defence before I pass sentence?’
‘My only regret is that I did not make a killing blow,’ Sang Shen said.
You really don’t want to waste your time helping this one, Emma, the stone in my ring said. It’s not worth revealing yourself when he pleads guilty.
I already revealed myself, I said.
Those two out the front work for you; they’d keep quiet, you just have to give the order.
I slithered off the bench and stood in front of it, raising my serpent head to human head height. ‘If I may, Your Honour,’ I said, hoping that the English term would be translated correctly by the language charm in Heaven. ‘I am Emma Donahoe, Regent of the Northern Heavens, and I wish to make a statement.’
‘Emma Donahoe is a human,’ the Judge said. He glanced at Martin for clarification.
Simone rose. ‘This is Emma Donahoe, previously my nanny, now my guardian. She also takes the form of a serpent.’
The Judge didn’t turn away from Martin. ‘My Prince?’
Martin also rose. ‘I vouch for the fact that this is the Regent of the Northern Heavens, Acting Director of New Wudangshan Academy, the Dark Lady Emma Donahoe.’
I bobbed my head. ‘I thank you.’ I turned back to the Judge. ‘I am the one that Sang Shen nearly killed, and I ask the court to be lenient with his sentence, as he had every right to be angry with me.’
‘That may be so, madam, but he does not have the right to kill you.’
‘As Regent, may I choose to pardon him?’
Sang Shen pulled himself to his feet and turned on me. ‘I don’t want a pardon! I want to die, and you will be the one to kill me! Chop my tree down, cut me into firewood, and burn me alive. I do not care! You are destroying us all!’ He spat on the floor in front of me. ‘You are destroying these Heavens, bitch. It does not surprise me at all that you are a snake, you evil monster. You are worse than Da Ji, blinding the eyes of our Sovereign with your evil ways and leading him down the path of destruction for all of us. Any day now we expect you to order the making of hollow pillars of iron, so you can build fires inside and tie your subjects to them, watching with delight as they roast to death.’
‘I want to preserve the Heavens, not destroy them,’ I said.
‘A fine job you are doing,’ Sang Shen said, and turned back to face the Judge. He fell to his knees again. ‘Sentence me. Make it quick, my Lord, because right now I am dying slowly. I would prefer to die quickly.’
‘As Regent I wish to pardon him,’ I said to the Judge.
‘As Regent you cannot do such a thing,’ the Judge said. ‘The Northern Heavens are different from all the others. Our judicial system is separate from the monarchy. Nobody is above the law; not even the Dark Lord. You cannot decide to change the judgements that have been handed down. The Dark Lord set this up himself. He is the only one of the Four Emperors that has not set himself above his Court system.’ He took a wooden slat with a character on it and threw it to the floor next to Sang Shen. ‘Death. Tomorrow at noon. Cut down his tree.’
‘Thank you, my Lord,’ Sang Shen said. He turned back to see me as he was pulled to his feet. ‘I only hope that the Dark Lord returns soon to see what you have done to his dominion.’ He glared at Martin. ‘And you were always too spineless
to take control, you brokeback.’
Martin jerked back and his eyes widened.
‘Take him away,’ the judge said. He pulled open a book and took a brush from a stand on the desk. He inked the brush on an ink stone and wrote the sentence into the book. Then he nodded to us. ‘Regent, Princess, Prince. It has been a pleasure seeing you in this courtroom.’ He disappeared.
I dropped my head onto the floor, discouraged. I’d opened myself to all sorts of trouble by declaring my existence as a snake and it had been for nothing.
Told you, the stone said.
Shut up.
I raised my head again. Sang Ye had come to stand in front of me, the other tree spirits in a group behind her.
‘I will die soon as well,’ Sang Ye said. ‘When I do, chop my tree into firewood and burn it in your kitchen.’ She spat at the ground in front of me. ‘I am the last of our line to live. Our trees have graced the Northern Heavens for thousands of years. I die without seed; there will be no more of us.’
She turned on her heel and strode out, the other tree spirits following.
Simone touched the back of my neck. ‘Let’s go home, Emma.’ She saw how upset I was and threw her arms around my serpent neck. ‘It’ll be fine. It’s not your fault.’
I rested my head on her shoulder. ‘He’s going to die, Simone. If it wasn’t for me, he would be alive.’
‘No way. It’s nobody’s fault. If anybody’s, it’s Daddy’s. Definitely not yours.’
‘I just wish I was Immortal and he could have had the satisfaction of killing me.’
‘I wish you were Immortal too, dear Emma. Just remember, Daddy promised. Now let’s go home.’
‘He promised I’d get lost.’
‘He promised he’d find you.’
‘He’ll only have to find me if I’m lost.’
There was a flash and a moment of disorientation and we were in the living room at home. Simone released me and stood back.
‘See if you have any trouble taking human form,’ she said.
I concentrated and slid easily into my human form. Every time I changed I wondered how we conjured the clothes. Maybe my subconscious didn’t want me to be naked or something, and I was only naked after changing if I was too weak. Nobody seemed to know how it happened or care too much.
‘Do you remember what happened?’ Simone said.
‘Did we go to Hell, visit a nest full of really big Snake Mothers, find Leo in a block of concrete, then go to the Northern Heavens and try to save Sang Shen?’ I said.
‘You remember all of it,’ she said.
Leo and Martin appeared on the other side of the living room.
‘Before I leave the Lion here, he has requested that I look for a stone that may have been planted on him,’ Martin said.
‘Go into his bedroom, we won’t disturb you. Shout if you find anything,’ I said.
Ah Yat came out of the kitchen. ‘Welcome back, everyone. Is this the real Leo? He looks like the real Leo.’
‘We hope I am, Ah Yat,’ Leo said.
Ah Yat nodded and returned to the kitchen. ‘This is good news. I will need to buy some steak for you.’
‘That sounds absolutely awesome,’ Leo said. He turned back to Martin. ‘Let’s check me out.’
Simone raised one hand and headed to her bedroom. ‘I need to take a shower. This is all too freaky for me.’ She stopped and turned to me. ‘Are you sure you’re all right?’
‘I’m fine, go take a shower,’ I said.
I went into the office and checked the email. Once again we’d been gone for more than twenty-four hours and the messages had piled up. The rest of the schools I’d contacted apologised and suggested she go on the waiting list. None of the tutors in China that I had contacted had bothered to reply. Louise wanted to see me, she sounded snarky in her email. I replied that I’d have lunch with her the next week if she liked. My parents had sent me an email from the Western Palace, skirting the issue of why I never visited them — again — and asking if I was available for dinner the following week. There was a thinly veiled suggestion that I was avoiding them. I replied and suggested dinner the following week as well.
‘While we’re on the subject of my social life, please contact Venus’s secretary to book a lunch with him sometime in the next three weeks,’ I told the stone. ‘He’s right, we need to keep in touch.’
‘Where?’
‘Mandarin coffee shop. We both love the cheesecake there.’
‘Done.’
‘Oh, ask Ah Yat to bring the messages in please.’
‘Done.’
‘Contact the White Tiger, ask him how Michael is.’
The phone rang and I answered it. It was the Tiger.
‘Too early to know yet,’ he said. ‘The doctors say that you saved him from death or major brain damage though. Thanks. Rhonda says thanks too.’
‘Is he still out?’
‘Yeah, they have him in a drug-induced coma to let his brain heal. They say that they are cautiously optimistic, and we should know in about twenty-four hours.’
‘Simone will want to know too, but now is not a good time.’
‘Simone already asked about him.’
‘Oh, okay.’
‘Now, if you will excuse me, madam, I have a quarter of the sky to attend to.’
‘Please excuse me as well, sir, as I do too.’
He hung up without another word.
‘Now, do you need to get some rest?’ I asked the stone. ‘I think you’ve been awake since we entered Hell. That’s an awfully long time for you, old man.’
‘Actually, if you don’t mind, Emma,’ the stone said, ‘I’d like to go spend some time with Gold and my grandchild. They’re back in Happy Valley.’
‘Wait.’ I raised my head. ‘I had no trouble at all coming in. Are the seals on the apartment still good?’
The stone was quiet for a moment, then, ‘Yes. They’re still as strong as ever, not eroding. Looks like removing that stone has fixed the problem.’
‘So how could I get in without throwing up?’
‘You came in as a serpent, Emma.’
‘Oh. So the seals don’t see the serpent as a demon? And the serpent doesn’t see the seals as a demon?’
‘Apparently not. By your leave, ma’am.’
‘Off you go.’
The stone disappeared.
Ah Yat came into the office. ‘I have put the mail and some noodles in the dining room for you, ma’am.’
I had a sudden memory of John eating noodles and opening the mail in the dining room a million years ago, when he had asked me to work full-time for him. I hesitated, then said, ‘Okay, Ah Yat, there’s plenty of room in there. Please ask Simone if she would like to eat as well. Thank you.’
Ah Yat bowed slightly and went out.
I went into the dining room, sat at the table, and picked up my chopsticks and spoon. For some reason vegetarian noodles didn’t really appeal; what I truly craved was … meat. Probably a backlash from being a snake for such a long time. I wondered if my snake would eat things alive the same way John’s would. Lovely.
When I was about halfway through my noodles, Martin came in. He saluted me, then sat at the table.
‘Ask Ah Yat if you want some,’ I said, pointing with my chopsticks at the noodles.
‘No need, what I had in the Heavens was more than sufficient,’ he said. ‘I found nothing in Leo’s body cavities. Perhaps they had something in his clothes when he was here the last time.’
‘Not really possible, we found him naked,’ I said. ‘He seemed disoriented; maybe he had a stone inside him then.’
‘Possible.’ He rose. ‘I will leave you now. I hope you do not mind if I come to visit my sister occasionally. I missed Simone terribly while I was in Hell. I truly do want to be a good brother for her.’
‘Wait,’ I said. ‘I would like you to do me a favour. You said you weren’t welcome in either Heaven or Hell. Well, I have a job for you. Don’t go b
ack to the sea; stay and help us.’
‘After what I’ve done?’ he said.
‘Gold said you were telling the truth. You really want to help. Would you like to help us by being a liaison between myself and the staff of the Northern Heavens? Particularly since now everybody knows I’m a snake.’
He bobbed his head. ‘I would be honoured.’
‘I remember you being offered a position like this before, and messing it up completely by falling for Number One son of the Demon King,’ I said.
‘That was before I met Leo.’
‘Actually, you met Leo when you were infiltrating us on behalf of One,’ I said.
‘This is true. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done to bring One to the household. But I gave my word to him.’
‘Seems making dumb promises runs in the family,’ I said.
‘That it does,’ he said. ‘I will take up residence in the lake.’
‘No, you won’t. I’ll give you an edict from me to the senior staff of the Northern Heavens to give you an apartment in the Palace complex.’
He was taken aback. ‘That is not necessary!’
‘Yes, it is. You are my representative there and you need to be treated accordingly. I bet you had an apartment in the Palace before, when you lived there as Crown Prince.’
‘I did,’ he said. ‘It is probably still there.’
I put my chopsticks down. ‘Good. Let’s go into the office and I’ll write you something to make sure you can stay there. If they give you any shit, get them to call me.’
He grinned. ‘I’m looking forward to working with you.’
I patted him on the upper arm as we went out to the office.
Just after dinner the doorbell rang. I opened the door to a visitor from home — an Australian who I vaguely recognised. I hunted through my memory while she stood in the doorway, waiting.
I smiled. ‘Hi, I’m trying to work out where I remember you from.’
‘Humph,’ she said with a strong rural Australian accent. ‘Never met you before in my life.’
I studied her, desperately trying to remember where I knew her from. She was obviously Aboriginal; she appeared to be in her mid-sixties, only about a metre-and-a-half tall, and wearing a plain tan-coloured sleeveless cotton shift that swept halfway to the floor. She had the extremely dark skin and strong features of a pure-blood Aborigine, a flat nose and wide mouth, and short dark curly hair shot with grey.